Contemplating Having Child #2 - Orange,NJ

My daughter was 2 and 3/4 when my son was born and I love the age difference. She was old enough to be somewhat independent but they are still close enough in age to play together. They are very close and great friends (with a lot of sibling fighting to go along with that).

My oldest was 17 months old when my second was born. It is hard, now that they are both mobile but they are super close, and it is so cute to see how much they love each other.

We have a 4 yr old (April 2006) and are expecting #2 next month. We couldn't even imagine having another baby for a long time and frankly since I only work part time (but still have to pay for daycare) - we wanted to be out of the infant stage of daycare with #1 before having a #2. Ideally, we would probably have spaced them 3 - 3.5 years apart but you don't have absolute control over when you conceive (took me 2 weeks with #1 and almost a year with #2).

My son is excited about being a big brother but even at this age - he thinks he must be pregnant also (there is a baby in his belly too!) and he thinks he is getting a playmate (even though he has been around a lot of newborns and knows about them).

Can't tell you how it has worked out yet - but it is fun digging the baby stuff out and I'm looking forward to holding a newborn again. Since my son will be in half day pre-kindergarten right when the baby gets here - I'll have some time with just the infant each day. Maybe I'll get to remember some of the sweet infant stuff that those who have 2 babies say they don't remember as well.

Good luck! Oh, ideally, we will have one out of college before the other enters also!!
C.

Our 2 boys are 23 months apart, it's been great, not easy though. It was just as hard raising one child. My boys are very active and very busy. They are 3 and 5 and we are 24 weeks preg with our third. Did not plan on waiting this long but that's how it happened. It's hard to think about going back to the baby stage right now. I say the closer in age kids are the better:)

My kids are almost 3.5 years apart and I love it! I got to truly enjoy every moment of my son being a baby, toddler and our daughter came along a few months before our son started preschool 3 mornings a week. And I've been able to enjoy all those same moments with her. My son loves being big brother and he was old enough that he really felt part of everything and wanted to be a big helper.

My son was a handful as well and it took up a lot of my time with him to help get him on track to being a little less of a wild child. We did storytime once a week, toddler music class, toddler gymnastics, etc to help him focus and follow directions and calm down a bit. It would have been very hard to do that with a second very small one in tow.

I had four under five and loved every moment of it. We just did babies.
Now they are grown and very close. Was it crazy sometimes, of course.
Never regretted our decisions.

We have two boys, one will be 4 in August and our 18 month old. It is a lot of work, costly, exhausting, and great all at the same time. They are finally able to play together, at least some of the time, and I love having 2 at 2 different ages, so you get to experience new things all the time. We waited a little longer to have our second so we didn't have two in diapers, but other than that, why wait?

Hi Tomara,

When siblings are close together, they have more fun. And all those baby/toddler years are compacted, making it easier later on. I had three under four with no help whatsoever, and I don't regret it for a minute.

Blessings!
"Grams"
from the Pocono Mts. of PA

My children are 22 months apart, our second was not planned to come along at the time he did and I had a very hard 1st year adjusting to two "babies". We plan on having a 3rd child and we plan on waiting until #2 is at least 3 1/2. I don't know if my hard time was b/c I never wanted kids that close togther or if it was just hard, probably a combo of both. If you have a realistic idea of what to expect with two so young, like a family member or close friend who you actually get to see all the work that goes into it then go for it! Lots of moms plan their families like that. I felt like things were spiraling out of control for me, and once the kids got a little older everything calmed down. I only say to be catious b/c EVERYONE assured me that mine weren't too close together and that they would be best friends and always have someone to play with (whiich so far is true)and NO ONE said hey, it is a crazy amount of work in the beginning. So this is me saying it is a lot of work :) Good Luck and Have fun whatever you decide!

We have 2 boys under 2 and we love it. Everyone keeps telling me that next year it will start to get really hard, when the oldest is 3 and the youngest is 1.5. We'll see!

I had three in three years. It was....challenging to say the least. However, they are so close (two boys, then a girl). I do have regrets in that I don't remember things like I thought I would. Granted, I have a less-than-stellar memory anyway, but when my second was born, I recall very little about his early baby years. Yours will be a little farther apart, so it won't be like you are trying to essentially raise two babies like I did. I wouldn't have done it any other way, though. My oldest was such a loving and great older brother when his baby sister was born. He was old enough to understand better the pregnancy/birth/baby process. Yes, it's a change going from one to two, but when you are in "mommy mode", it's so much easier to submit to the diapers, bottles, potty training, etc. If you wait too long, it's more difficult to go back to it. And yes, I can attest to that because when my youngest was 7....oops, we found out there was going to be a 4th. Yeah, doing this all again after 7 years............WAY more difficult!!!!!!!! LOL! Good luck in your decision!

My daughters are 18 months apart. I love it. They love it. I've had to deal with minimal jealousy and displacement issues. I have been home to enjoy my first child's major milestones, and will be home till my youngest turns 1. The only thing I wish I'd considered moreso, is the cost of daycare. When my youngest turns 1, I will need to go back to work so we can reach our financial goals. The cost of having 2 in daycare simulatneously is something I wish I'd considered more closely. Aside from that minor issue- I think it's wonderful.

My our 23 months apart and my first one is a handful and is a challenge. Having them close togther is hard but like people have already said you are in the baby mode. You already have highchairs, stroller, diaper bags, car seat, crib, etc. Good luck

We're pondering the same question here at our house with our 25 month old. We're a little too old to take too much time deciding, but neither of us can imagine having a newborn right now, nor do I have much of a desire to be pregnant again anytime soon. I guess I can see benefits from waiting a bit. If I give it another year before TTC my son would likely be in kindergarten while I started all over again with a newborn at home. If I did it now, I'd have a chance of making it back to work again before I was 45! Grrr...it's a tough decision, but I've heard you never regret having another!

chaos but then it becomes second nature. My kids are 23 mos apart and I wouldn't have it any other way. You are still in baby mode which makes it easier. I couldn't imagine going back to diapers, diaper bags strollers etc. You don't know different right now, dont get out of it just to get back into it. Although a lot of people have and you do get used to it I think its just better to do it while you are still there. At first the older one will want more attention and the baby wont be fun because it can't play. But before you know it they are playmates and you are the referee. But they are also close enough in age that you can go places and their interests and abilities are close enough that its fun for both. Like going to the childrens museum is more fun for younger kids vs an older kid who finds it boring to a toddler. Or bowling for the older kid but the younger one is just too young. I say go fo it.

2 yrs seems to be a good age gap.

Tomara,

We have a 2 1/2 year old and a 3 month old baby. Life is wonderful but its crazy, busy and hectic. I have family near me,so I thankfully have a lot of help. My husband is also a hands on dad, so except for nursing, he helps out a lot too.

We tried to prepare my older son for me going away to the hospital and having a baby brother, but I don't think too much got through. He loved his baby brother from the start, but was absolutely terrified when the baby cried. He was also very traumatized by me going away (my hospital stay was 5 days - I had a C section).

Things are much better now. He still cries if I go out without him, which he never did before we had the baby. There were a few weeks of horrible tantrums, but once his schedule was back in place things calmed down.

I look forward to them playing together and growing up together, and hopefully being best friends for life. For now big brother gives lots of kisses and is learning how to play peek a boo with his little brother. Little brother looks adoringly at big brother is smiles and laughs at him. They are absolutely adorable together.

Whatever you decide I wish you the best.

R.

It's VERY intense when you have two small ones at the same time, but I like them not being too far apart in age. I have also enjoyed the fact that we still had all the baby gear, strollers, high chair, etc., so we didn't have to go out and buy all of that stuff again -AND if you have the same gender -you can easily use hand-me-downs!