I too am sorry you have gone through this and continue to suffer. I suffered from clinical depression for many years. I did therapy and a regimen of medication - while I didn't have anywhere near the side effects that you have had, I didn't find it to be a cure-all either. You, like me, have the added burden (or motivation, to make it positive) to get well not just for yourself but for your children. My husband has had a long term chronic pain condition which also causes depression, so while I haven't had the physical pain you endure, I live with someone who has battled that.
I do know many people for whom medications do not work, and I've known people who have had the severe liver issues from other meds, not specifically anti-depressants or other psychiatric meds. So your situation is not unheard of, but it's made worse it seems by the confluence of so many issues at one time.
Have you done any reading on epigenetics? It's a well-respected science that is showing, more and more, that chronic conditions of all kinds, as well as food sensitivities and the rapid rise of mental/behavioral issues, may well be due to damage to the epigenome. The DNA in our cells is set, of course, and while there are some genetic conditions that cannot be changed, the epigenome is what tells individual genes in each cell to turn on or off, allowing that cell to specialize in function and appearance. So while the nerve, bone, retina, skin and muscle cells in your body have the same DNA, they do different things because individual genes in each cell are switched on or off. If that's done right, the cell works right. If not, we have individual (and inherited) problems. So when you hear people talk about a "family history" or "genetic tendency" towards heart disease or cancer or irritable bowel disease or even depression, that's an epigenetic factor. And it's changeable. It can be caused by disease, aging, environmental illnesses, or trauma/stress. Here's just one article - it happens to deal with Holocaust survivors and their descendants, but there are many others that related to PTSD and more.
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/descendants-of-...
Yes, there are many dietary things that can have an effect, but it's very difficult to get enough of the essential nutrients to feed our bodies. This has to do with the food supply and depleted soils and so on, but also with the accumulation of epigenetic changes through severe and ongoing (and intergenerational) stress. There are some great studies - thousands, actually - about a dietary ingredient that is clinical shown to affect the epigenome and repair those defective switching mechanisms. I have a colleague with severe PTSD (war veteran, severe chemical exposure, cancer, and more) who no longer has the nightmares and pain, and is off something like 15 medications. I have other friends with autoimmune issues (MS, RA, etc.) who've also seen amazing turnarounds. I'm off my antidepressants and my husband has seen massive decreases in his pain. Not cured, but better over time.
But there's no overnight fix, and it's important that you know that. You can't undo that kind of damage in a short period of time, but results are ongoing and incremental. You have to make the commitment, you know? And that's so hard when someone is dealing with debilitating issues. Plant based solutions take time and consistency. Yes, you are right, it works for kids and also for adults - but adults often take longer because the damage is more established. But it can be done. There is hope.
So I send you immense amounts of support and sympathy, and my kudos for not giving up.