Convincing Husband That Tooth Brushing Is Important

Try to understand why he feels it's not important and talk about those reasons in a calm and non judgmental way. Use I statements. Do not tell him he's wrong. Approach the conversation in a trying to understand manner.

I say this because when my grandchildren began to have teeth, I wondered what all the fuss was about. I grew up in an era in which baby teeth weren't brushed. I listened to the reasons to brush and became convinced it was important but I had to get past my preconceived notion that it wasn't important.

If someone had argued with me I would never have been convinced it was important because my first response would've been to win the argument, to defend what was done when I was a kid and young adult. When in a midst of an argument, I would've felt that the other person was telling me I and my parents were wrong. Who wants to be told they're wrong?

What I do is I always brush my 3 yr old's teeth at night. I let him try it sometimes in the morning but I still do it sometimes even then. My five yr old does his own usually, but about every three days or so, I do it. On the days the hubs does teeth I really don't worry if he forgets or if he lets them do it unsupervised bc the rest of the time I am on top of it. That's what I do and neither my 3 yr old or 5 yr old have any cavities :) good luck!

Your husband is a lost cause. Nothing you say is going to get him to think it's important. So don't waste your time.

Instead, put that energy into teaching your children how to care for their teeth. You know how kids can get all hyped up about new information? Use that to your advantage. And make it fun. Get them cool toothbrushes and yummy flavoured toothpaste. Make it a game - race to see who can get the most toothpaste bubbles or something.

When my kids were resistant to tooth brushing (which they've outgrown now), I used to tell them that they can open wide and I can do a gentle job, or if they won't help it will hurt to have me open their mouths for them. Mean, maybe.....but effective.

Get a reward chart going and give them a sticker every time they brush their teeth. Then when they get X number of stickers, they get to choose a "prize" at the dollar store (or something). You may find that they're brushing multiple times per day just to accumulate more stickers :)

You probably can't convince him.

But you can say: "I know that you don't think that this is as important as I do, but it's important to ME. I really need you to be on board with me on this. I need your support. Please help me to enforce this rule."

If he refuses...well, you can't make him comply and you'll be on your own in enforcing it.

Rocky:

Find out how much fillings, root canals and other things cost to repair your children's teeth - then present it to your husband and ask him if that much money is more important than their health?

Seriously - if they don't take care of their teeth now - it can and will lead to health problems down the line...and yeah - heart disease - poor dental hygiene affects your whole body.

Stop allowing your children to resist. Tell them that brushing is important and that cavities and tooth decay HURTS. normally I'm not one for scaring kids about something - but really?

If the wallet factor doesn't affect your husband? Maybe their future health will...if he doesn't care about their health NOW? Man. I am not sure what I would do...

This is about teaching your children the importance of self-care.

"It's incredibly frustrating that I am trying to teach our children how to care for themselves and you aren't supporting me. While it might not mean much to you that Son has cavities, what's concerning to me is the amount of pain he's going to have to deal with as those cavities worsen. It bothers me that we could also be spending that money more wisely. Just because it's not important to you, honey-- don't you WANT to do better for your kids?"

Unbrushed teeth end up being just as bad as b.o., only with far more health consequences, as Wild Woman pointed out. And socially, it's a big turn-off. I think if my husband were bailing on me in this way, he'd be getting a pretty big cold shoulder from me, or a notice that an appointment had been made for couples counseling. I don't tolerate this sort of nonsense, sorry. I detest it when people choose to behave in a very ignorant way, just because it 'doesn't matter to them'. Tell him to explain it to his kids, years down the line, why their father didn't care enough to make them brush their teeth and now they have loads of dental work.... grrr.

I am a dental hygienist and have encountered this with a few families. I can't believe anyone below would ever say it is genetic and no matter what they will get cavities! Grrrr... genetics load the gun but environment pulls the trigger. Anyway, high five to you for caring about this. I would show your husband some stuff online like others have suggested showing him the link between the oral cavity and your overall health. Taking him to the dentist with the kids will not help, husbands don't always listen to us either. I would also focus on teaching the kids. Using a chart has seem to work really well for my kids. I also don't give sweets to boys who don't protect their teeth by brushing. That always works because like all of us, kids love sweets! I would also make sure your kids are not sipping on anything throughout the day other than water and anything else only with meals. This alone will not prevent cavities but any little bit helps! Fluoride rinses after brushing before bed are helpful as well for kids age 6 and over. Hope this helps and way to go mom for caring about your kiddos in every aspect their is!!

If spending thousands on HIS teeth doesn't drive home the point, I don't know what would. Sounds like he needs to spend thousands on his kids' mouths too, in order to get the point...

Do you know for SURE that you have fluoride in your kids' drinking supply? You should check that out. Fluoride supplements can make a great deal of difference. People my age have mouthfuls of fillings. With the addition of fluoride in the water, children today don't have nearly the amount of cavities. So check that out.

As soon as your dentist can, have sealants put on the kids' teeth. That helps as well.

I think that you just have to take the bull by the horns and not expect your husband to. He just doesn't care enough, it seems.

My husband used to be kind of lax about brushing his teeth, way back when. Anyway, I made it very clear that women don't have sex with men who don't brush their teeth. He developed much better dental hygiene, and now as a parent he insists on good dental hygiene.

Could you have your husband take them to the dentists appointment instead so the dentist can explain it to him?

Tooth and gum disease has been associated with everything from heart disease to infertility for both men and women. Let him know that and see if it helps. Probably the best thing is to instill this into your kids so they are totally self sufficient.

Here's a link. You may not be able to convince him, especially after he's gone through the pain and money and still doesn't find it important.

But you can help the kids understand with age-appropriate stuff. Fun toothbrushes (motors, lights, songs), etc. Also, use words like "cavity bugs" to explain how our teeth get eaten by the food we eat if we don't brush. You can even find videos on youtube for this, even showing real bacteria.

My son is 6, we always brush before bedtime - dentist was pleased that I brush his teeth because he had only 1 small cavity.

http://everydaylife.globalpost.com/can-parents-kids-want-...

show him these:

https://www.google.com/search?q=show+pics+of+toothe+decay...

here's the pesky thing about tooth decay and gum disease-it leads to heart disease and death-see if that is important enough for him

You are probably beating a dead horse trying to convince your husband. I know - I have the same exact model at home. He's had tons of painful dental work done, has cost us a fortune, and he still doesn't nag the kids to brush. Why? Because there is no immediate health implications for skipping a night. Now if they were guaranteed to lose their teeth while they slept, he'd be much more likely to enforce the rules. Heck, he wouldn't even have to since the kids would be tripping overthemselves to get to the sink!

Focus on teaching your kids good habits. A sticker chart for each morning and night they brush (post it in the bathroom) and a reward for so many days of consecutive brushing will go a long way. Likewise, my kids are old enough now that they have negative consequences for not brushing.

As for DH, if he dares to come to bed with stinky breath there is no lovin.

Yuck. Brushing teeth not important? What rock did he crawl out from? That said, I think that one really good tooth brushing session per day per child is acceptable because it takes 24 hours for the bacteria to form that causes cavities.
Find some good articles and pass them on to him. Make him take them to the dentist next time and call the dentist and hygienist in advance so he can get a talking to.
And since it seem this job falls on you, I find brushing my kids teeth while in the bed time bath tub saves a lot of hassle. Just have them spit in the tub and rinse with bath faucet water.

If he doesn't realize the importance of brushing even after having had to undergo so much dental work and spend all that money, I'm not sure anything will convince him. IMHO, he has not had a really severe tooth ache; if he had, he would not want his kids to experience that.

I think your best bet is to work on the KIDS' attitude about brushing. I have dentures so I take them out and SHOW my grandkids that if you ignore your teeth, they will go away. I also talk to them about the pain I experienced before I was able to save enough to get dentures.

Show your kids pictures of people with bad teeth and let them know that if they refuse to brush, their teeth will end up looking like that. You could also talk to them about bad breath and tell them that if they don't brush their teeth, you don't want to talk to them because you don't want to smell their nasty breath. Anything to get them to change their attitude about brushing.

Some things I've found I can't really convince my husband and I just have to be responsible for... Therefore there are very very few nights I'm not somehow involved with putting the kids to bed. Can you get one of those rinses to help? I also floss them nightly. My kids apparently don't brush well enough either. We got them electric brushes bc then maybe they're getting more rotations on their teeth. It doesn't mean they can brush shorter though. And I'd tie some kind of punishment to not brushing. Your 6 year old should not be resisting like this. He doesn't brush - he doesn't get xyz. I also think flossing is hugely impt. I'm amazed even if I brush their teeth (and same for me) how much flossing can get rid of. It's a pain but I do it. Finally, my mom said they never brushed my baby teeth and I've not had notable dental issues at all. So don't worry too much. I freak when the dentist says we're not brushing well enough but I think everyone has the problem and by the time their adult teeth are in, hopefully they will be better at it. My girls don't resist but they're kids. They just aren't as coordinated to do a great job. What might get your husband on board is showing him an article about infections causing illness so it's not just a matter of teeth but overall health.

Maybe have your husband accompany you and the kids to the next dental appointment and have the dentist explain the importance of brushing, flossing, and rinsing.

Hard to imagine a parent would think that good dental care is not important. Wow.

Other than that, keep at it with the kids. Use a daily behavior chart (stars, smilies, whatever) to get them to do the behaviors you want (brushing for two minutes at least twice a day; flossing, etc). They "earn" stars for good brushing. No proper brushing, no star. Once they earn a predetermined number of stars, they can trade those for something they like----a little extra tv/game time; extra park or play time with friends; family game night; extra story at bedtime; a smoothie----whatever, keep it small, simple but something they like and will work toward. Try to stay away from material goods as rewards.

Maybe let them pick out new toothbrushes or get the battery operated kind. Those help with getting up along the gum lines where plaque accumulates. Get your brush and brush alongside them (you can use a dry brush to demonstrate, or if you're done eating/snacking for the night, you can brush with them) to model what you want them to do.

Our youngest two boys are like yours (although one of these is 19! and I just got the bill from the dentist today---yikes)! I'm determined our 8 year-old will develop better brushing habits. With the 8 year-old, if he doesn't do it right the first time, he has to go back and do it again. If it's still not done correctly and I can still see food and plaque, then I do it. He does not like when I brush his teeth, so he usually gets it right so I don't have to! Plus, if he doesn't do it right, he loses his brushing star, and the time it takes to re-do the brushing takes away from bedtime reading. Those things have helped him become more responsible for improving his brushing and dental care.

I know you said your kids are resistant to you brushing their teeth, but with the three year-old, you are most likely going to have to help him and step in. If the six year-old doesn't get it right on his own, you'll have to step in there, too. Be more insistent than they are resistant. Not brushing well is not an option. Make sure they understand you mean this and follow through. It's that important---not just for the teeth, but for overall health.

Good luck.

J. F.

Oh my gosh - my husband is the same way. He does say he believes tooth brushing is very important but every night he puts our son to bed and every night he does not have him brush his teeth. He only remembers if I put my foot down and make them do it together. Why do I have to be the enforcer? I put our daughter to bed and have her do it. Every morning I have both kids do it. When he is out of town on a work trip our son just goes to bed later so I can put his sister down first and then go tuck him in. That is the time I have him brush his teeth. He is at an age where he will fib and say he did it when he did not and I am working on this with him. UGH. Part of the problem is my husband has great genetics and just never got many cavities. The other part of the problem is he is being lazy and does not want the work of making our son brush his teeth every night. Drives me INSANE.

Yes it's important but it's not the end all reason for decay.

If hubby passed on his enamel no amount of brushing will make any difference. They'll get cavities.

I they got your enamel they have a better chance of not having any cavities.

They could never brush their teeth in their entire life and never get a single cavity if they have strong enough enamel.

Having them brush their teeth is not a bad habit for sure. Tell hubby to go with you to the next dentist appointment so he can hear it from the doc himself.