You're right to be frustrated. Some folks forget that dogs are NOT people and they should not be treated like people.
Wild dogs live in packs where pecking order is paramount to their understanding of the world. That doesn't change when they are domesticated and live with their human "packs." There is still a pecking order. In a home with a well-trained, well mannered dog, there is always an "alpha" human to whom the dog defers all authority. In your in-laws' home, the dog has the authority. By allowing the dog to come inside whenever it wants, and mouth, jump, scratch and lick, the dog is shown that it is dominant over your daughter and everyone else.
I would talk to your in-laws and make it clear that you will not allow a dog to push your family around. That your daughter WILL push the dog away, doesn't have to be licked if she doesn't want to be, and because your daughter is much smaller than the adults, she deserves to be protected from a dog that will ALWAYS try to assert its dominance over a "pack-mate" that is close to its own size.
If that means that the dog stays outside or in another room while your daughter visits, or if that means that they have to come and visit you in your home and leave the dog behind, so be it. Humans come first, not dogs.
It doesn't mean that the dogs aren't loved. On the contrary. Loving our pets mean that we train them and maintain healthy boundaries that take into account our understanding that they are still animals, NOT people.