Crying 19-Month Old

Does he have his molars & k-9's yet? If not, there is a good chance he may be teething. My daughter did this exact same thing when she was teething.

My son would do this when he got low blood sugar, it was awful and then over. We started giving him a snack on the way home from daycare, something small like a pack of granola bites, and always juice, everyday. That way we could get home and then he would be good for dinner. I would try this, it may seem weird, but it works and was the first thing my pediatrician said to do. Best of luck!!

First off, I would call my pediatrician and ask him or her if there is anything wrong. Maybe he is teething, or has another health issue, like ear infections or sore throat. Don't forget to rule out illness. I know my son went through a rough time when he was getting his 2 year molars.
Second, I am here in behalf of all working moms and the comment made earlier about how you are not giving your child attention. I have 2 boys, 4 years and 22 months, and both have been in a daycare facility since they were 8 weeks old. Both of my boys started talking at an earlier age, one reason because my husband and I read and talk to our sons all the time, but two, because they are interacting with other children their age at daycare. They also learned the alphabet(my 22 month old knows his ABC's), counting numbers, writing words and their name, how to share with other children, and being in the social environment has fully prepared my 4 year old for kindergarten next year. There is nothing wrong with having your child in daycare and don't let anyone tell you that you are a neglecting parent because you work. Some people cannot afford that luxury, and even if we could, some people enjoy the work that they do. I cannot stand it when people tell me that I should stay at home with my child. I do everything I can with my boys and I know that they love me with all their hearts. I am raising my boys with good values and love and that is what matters to me. I know this has nothing to do with your problem, but I was offended after reading a previous response to your concern that I felt the need to defend working moms. Working out of the home or working in the home- if you are providing your child with love and teaching them values and the things they need to learn to survive in this world, then you are a good parent.
Third, I think that telling other people how they should be a parent is wrong. How dare someone else say to someone they do not know that they are being neglectful to their child. That in itself is rude and disrespectful. People should learn to keep some opinions to themselves.

Thank you, Jen F, for speaking up for working moms everywhere! I can't believe someone would make another mom feel like they are being neglectful for working. Many children thrive in the daycare environment. My daughter loves her daycare provider and she is learning so much about the world around her. We are all lucky that you work in the military because that is what allows us all to speak our minds freely.

Your son sounds like he's going through a stage. Most people have responded with good advice. I was thinking teeth, too. My daughter seems like her canine teeth have been coming in on and off for a long time. I've heard those are the worst. Good luck!

Okay, so maybe I shouldn't have read all the responses before responding you your request. I am now so shocked and outraged by the one that said you should quit your job because it is what God wants. As a Christian I am actually offended by the boldness and judgement that came across in that post. I worked until recently as a pediatric occupational therapist and have 2 children under 3 1/2. I now do not work because we moved, but my 18 month old daughter is now doing what your son is doing (screaming, refusing to eat, ect and then returning to normal). I can say what is happening is perfectly normal phase. I took my daughter to the doctor today because it was SO abnormal for her and sure enough it was teeth. So, that is my first suggestion it to see if he is teething. If not it could also be communication frustration in that he wants something but can't tell you what it is. My guess though is that it is more physiological then anything else, so if it is not teething you may want to get him checked by the pediatrician. Don't feel bad about what you do. Thank you for fighting for our freedom!

C.,
It could be that he is getting his eye (or canine) teeth. My son's doctor said they are the most painful coming in. My son got them around 20 months.

I agree with the other moms that it is probably the teeth. Some of them take 1-2 months to come in. My daughter has been getting 4 teeth for about 1.5 months. He is probably a little tired from playing all day at day care. I believe all kids go through phases!

Also I agree with the other moms in saying, any mother that would degrade another mother for working is off of their rocker. She obviously is trying to convince herself that she is doing the right thing by putting down what others have choosen for their families. This is suppose to be a networking site to support each other, not one to push on to each other our beliefs.

Keep up the good work & this phase will pass!

C., my guy kind of went through something similar. We try to do something to let him kind of unwind before transitioning him to dinner. DH usually picks him up from DCP so he gives him a snack to enjoy in the car on the way home. DS then gets to run around or watch some cartoons to undwind when he gets home. His DCCP is almost like a preschool, so he really does need this bit of down time. Most of the time the time between arriving home and dinner is unstructured so he can really do whatever he wants.

First and foremost, you do what is right for your family. For some families that means one parent stays home with the children, for others it means both parents work. Nobody knows what your family needs as much as you do.

I also wanted to say thank you to both you and hour DH for serving in the Navy. It is a difficult job and the sacrifices you make are truly appreciated by me and my family. I do understand the struggles of service members as I, too, served.

Hi C.,

I suggest telling him what's going to happen before each major transition, such as taking him home from daycare. You can call your daycare provider when you're 5 minutes away so she can tell him you'll be there in 5 minutes, then you'll be there in 4 min., etc.

Transitions are difficult for little ones, so this may help. You might try to reduce (if there are any) the errands you run with him (into the store for milk on the way home--several more transitions: in/out of car seat, into store, in/out of car seat, into house, etc). And if you have an excited dog who jumps and barks when you arrive, try to figure out a way to decrease that sudden change in environment for your son.

Give him 5 minute countdowns for lots of things: before we eat, before nap, before we bathe, before we change the CD, etc. This will let him know what to expect and may possibly calm him because he'll feel more in control.

Good luck and let us know if this (or any other suggestions!) help!

D.

My son, who is now 3 1/2, does that and we found that it was a bit of low blood sugar. Not bad enough for him to be on medication or a radically different diet but just enough that when it dips too low sometimes it's really hard to get him to come out of it. We do what we can to get juice or some protein in him as soon as possible but sometimes we just have to wait it out like you did. It could have just been a fluke for your son but if he continues to do it at about the same time every day I would suspect low blood sugar.
Hope this helps!

He is getting close to the age that the 2 yr molars will start coming in. That is just another possibility.

You've got lots of really good suggestions here. I have no experience with daycare as a SAHM, but might I suggest, too, that you put in a call to the doctor? Screaming for an hour for several weeks at meal time is not something I've experienced with my three kids, and it might be a signal that there's an underlying problem. It wouldn't hurt just to rule that out. Good luck.

Hi C.
First of all your child has to decompress just like we all do when he comes home...if all his basic needs are being met at the school and then you all are meeting his needs then the desire to cry for no good reason is out the window..except that maybe this is the only way he knows how to get it all out and just move on from the day. Maybe he had to share, maybe he had to sit still for lunch, maybe he had to take a nap when he didn't want to and then wake up when he wasn't ready, maybe he would have rather went for a walk with you instead of getting in the car, maybe he wants to be held by you and daddy instead of turning on tv or talking on the phone or having supper made...all things he has no control over so he cries. If it only lasts an hour, that's a blessing and he is "dealing" with his stress and it's okay....and it really is okay. Maybe turning on some soothing jazz music or classical during this emotional time so he sees that everyone is winding down from the day will help him feel like he's in control. I always swore by giving my child a bath when he or she was in a bad mood. Water seems to really relax a fella. grin
Congrats on the puppy. Please allow me to share with you that my daughter is a pet sitter (we sat for a navy couple that just moved to Washington so if you need refrences feel free to ask and I'll give her email to you plus I have her refrence letter here...when they both went out to sea the puppy would come to stay with us...we have two small dogs and a 5 year old boy in kindergarten and then Bree is my soon to be 17 and driving teenage daughter. Bree has excellent excellent refrences for both pet sitting and babysitting.)
Hope this helps!
T. Kenney ###-###-####

part of your sons crying might be because he doesn't spend enough time with his parents. i understand that you are both in the navy and having a family of any kind is hard when the three of you spend very little time together. but maybe one good idea would be for at least one of you to retire from navy life to be at home with your child. when he sees you more and you do more with him he may not be as fussy. most military families only have one parent that is in service and the other stays with the child and finds work elsewhere. my husband just recently started a job with northropp grummen and he is gone most of the time now out of state. there has been one time when we were able to drive out to spend a weekend with him but having him gone so much and the only communications that we have with him are computer and phone it gets hard. i had never been left alone with my daughters before and i wasn't sure if i could do it or not but the only way to find out was to go for it. they are doing fine and so i am. but with your situation i would definitely consider at least one of you staying at home with your son. even with just one of you in service you would still be doing fine and your child would finally have what he needs most right now when he is young and that is support from his parents. i am sure that you love him with all your heart and would give anything for his happiness but right now at such a young age he needs at least one of you to be there more then you might be. he will learn from you two everything for his survival and you learned that from your parents but it will take you being there more for him to understand how much he needs you. when you and your husband are gone does a family member have rights over him and do they fill in the part of being his parents the way you two would or are they just there to fill in the empty spot so your son has someone he can turn to. i know it's not my place to tell you how to run your lives but i would seriously suggest you think about finding an alternative way of raising your son. military life can be fun and interesting but only if it is with one parent being gone not both. you son needs you now more then ever, don't let his youth slip away while you are both in military service. they aren't little forever and you don't want him to grow up wondering why his parents were never there. good luck and i hope this helps. make the right decisions with him and trust me you won't regret it in the end.

sincerely,

J.

hi C.,

You know my 18-month-old doesn't cry but she's very cranky when she gets home from day care. I try to feed her right away when she gets home because she's usually starving by that time or I give her some milk. I think she gets really tired at day care now that she's older and can do a lot more things, plus they are outside a lot and she runs around non-stop out there. What I try to do is sit her down on the couch, give her some milk and do something calming with her, like read a book. I just try to make sure she's calm and has a chance to rest a little before she starts running around the house.
Hope that helps some!
L.

Sounds like your son and my 20 month old daughter should get together and cry it out. My daughter does basically the same thing and it's just a phase she is going through. She is at that time in her life where she knows she can talk and point to things she wants but if it's not conveyed correctly and you don't understand a que she is trying to send to you, she's just going to cry. All I do, is just let her go and ignore her and she will realize that it's not helping the situation by crying and she'll stop immediately and go on and do something else. I know this is short and sweet, but I hope you can see you aren't alone and I hope maybe my advice helps. Good Luck. :-)

For starters, I think an onsite, unscheduled visit to his day care is called for. See what's going on.

And if the daycare checks out, talk to the providers there about what they observe.

hello, this is K. H.( you know the nervous soon to be first time mom) the crying and screaming coming from this child before he will eat, may be a stress response, maybe there are other little boys at this day care who scream and throw a fit and then settle down to eat..of course it could be that he is just not eating enough while he is in day care maybe hes trading his oatcakes for cupcakes at day care, or simply giving it to another child or another child is helping themselves to his snacks, dont know if you dont ask. when my younger sister was in daycare years ago, she did almost exactly the same thing.. come to find out, another child was eating her snacks that i packed for her ( take a guess how long that lasted )
K. H.

Hi C.,

I have two little ones in daycare (21/2 yrs and 20mos). I had this problem a lot more frequently with our old day care. Every day when we came home, I had very cranky tearful children for about 35-45 min. It was horrible, and the ride home was, to say the least, trying. What I discovered was that at the old in home day care, the provider was letting the kids "let her know when they needed to rest." I walked in at 1pm one afternoon and they were running around having a blast. Lunch and snacks were at different times (sometimes they were fininshing snack when I was picking them up). Since they didn't have regular naps and meal times, they were tired and overstimulated by the time I got them. She didn't see a problem with this, so we moved them. They now go to "school" with routines (including learning time, naps/quiet time, meals and snacks, etc.) and we no longer have this problem. Just a thought, you may want to check out the routine at daycare. Is the end of the day crazy, or calming, do naps happen regurlarly, and if your son isn't napping at daycare, what are they doing to help him sleep better, is he eating an afternoon snack. Hope it helps. If your family is like mine, you get precious little time after daycare with your son before he goes to sleep for the night, for it to be spent in tears.

Good luck.

S.

It sounds like he is tired from his day at daycare. This is actually normal, they say that kids try so hard to be good at daycare/preschool that they kind of need to let the stress out on the way home. Add to that it is the crankiest part of the day for most kids, my son stays home with me and has a hard time between 4 and 6P. It may be his teeth, but if it is only in evenings, my guess is he is over-tired. I'm guessing he gave up his morning nap, so he needs even more nighttime sleep. You may want to try putting him to bed a little earlier. Don't feel guilty for having him in daycare. It can be a very valuable experience for children. My daugher has thrived in daycare/preschool. Some families need to have both partners work. The world is expensive and not all families can do it on just one income.

Good Luck.

My 19-month old is going through something similar. He is just more sensitive and cranky than usual and has always been a Very pleasant child.
His especially cranky times seem to be first thing when he wakes up (crying when the reason is not evident) and on his way home from day care. I don't think his crankiness has anything to do with day care, he absolutely adores his day provider who he regards as family. I think it has to do with his body going through rapid changes at this stage (not unlike adolescence when kids go through this again!)

In the evening my natural inclination is to rush right home and start on dinner, and I'm "too busy" to unwind with my son. Giving him a cup of milk or water is very helpful, and it often keeps him happy for a little while until dinner is ready. However, if he is especially needy, then sometimes I just have to stop what I'm doing, and spend a few minutes just talking and cuddling with my son.

Perhaps a cup of milk, a small snack, and just a few extra undivided minutes with your son will help smoothe things over until dinner is ready. Then you can enjoy dinner together as a family, and hopefully some play time before bed.

Our son is also changing his sleeping patterns this month, so that is contributing to his crankiness I'm sure! Is your son changing sleep at all??

It seems to be a phase for MANY kids at this age. Just continue to comfort and support your child through these confusing times of rapid growth in his life!!
Good luck. :)