Crying Fit or Melt Down

Many babies just cry for no reason at evening to night time. Sometimes it colic and sometimes it gas. I doubt at this age he is fighting sleep. You may be on the early end of colic. It's not fun but hang in there.

Some babies get colic (spelling) of an evening, so that could be it, but also maybe he just needs fed a little more at that feeding, he may just be hungry, so hold him, comfort him, sing or rock him at that feeding, and that may be all that is the matter. Preemies have a lot of growing to do. I had one.You can't ALWAYS go by a strict schedule you have to use your intuition

B. - I know exactly what you are talking about. My son was born two months premature and he did the same exact thing about two months ago (made himself hoarse from crying and screaming so much), and still is sometimes very fussy and cries uncontrollably at bed time...I have come to the conclusion that if my husband and I have done everything possible to make him happy (clean diaper, not hungry, warm, etc), there is nothing that you can do but tough it out. My mom reassures me that babies fight sleep and it is totally normal. She says that they are so exhausted, but just don't want to give it up. My little one is a perfect angel during the day, but in the evenings his little horns come out. My mother told me that my brother and I did the same thing. One thing that my husband does is to put our son on his chest and hold his head still, and usually after a few minutes he falls asleep. I hope this helps...Please know that you are not alone and remember that even though you are at your witt's end, this too shall pass! Also remember that every child is different and at 8 weeks old, it is very hard for a baby to be on any schedule. Usually at 8 weeks they are feeding on demand. My son still eats every three hours. You need to do what is best for YOUR child. No two are alike. If it does not get any better, take your baby to the doctor...it could be gas or acid reflux. Also, I saw a response that suggested giving him cereal in a bottle...do NOT give an 8 week old premature baby cereal in a bottle. My son could not tolerate cereal until he was around 4 months (6 months real age). Cereal is very hard for babies to digest and your babies small stomach is not ready for cereal. If your baby does have acid reflux, cereal in the stomach at night will make it worse. It is not a good idea to give a baby cereal in a bottle...it should be fed with a spoon. Good Luck! J.

I don't have any experience w/ preemie's, but my son who was full term, if I am remembering correctly, had one more later feeding. We were doing 7,10,1,4,7,10 for a while then we dropped the 10. I followed the advice in Babywise which is basically the schedule thing, but it tells you about where your child should be when. My son is an amazing sleeper and has been his whole life. Good luck

I believe that if during this three hours of crying that he had, if you made sure his diaper was dry, tried feeding him more, and made sure there were no tags in his clothes that we sticking him causing pain (all-points check, in other words), that the other moms who've responded with "might be colic" are probably right. Poor little thing, and poor little You!! My second baby was colicky. It was awful, but it passes around 3 to 4 months of age. With yours being a preemie it may take a bit longer.
The other moms who said to save your friends tips for later are probably right, too. Did they all have preemies, too? Let your mothering instincts take over, and just do what you know is right in your gut & in your heart for your son.
As far as sanity goes, well that's pretty much over permanently. Ha! :-) Children of every age present different challenges that will feel like you're being driven crazy.
When he finally starts sleeping through the night most of the time, you'll feel more sane, though. Hang in there, Sister. It's the most rewarding time of your life!! Thankless, but rewarding. Blessings to you and yours!

Hi B.,

My first baby, a son too...was colic for about 4 months. Both my babies did have that period each evening when it was bed time to start their melt down until it was comfortable for them (the second not as bad as the first). Dr. Karp's Happiest Baby on the Block DVD saved me with my first baby boy and then I just used the techniques needed for my second baby. He explains the five S's - Swaddling, which I didn't realize how important this was...placing baby on Side, Shushing (or white noise-this worked wonderfully for us), Swinging and Sucking. He tells about what shock babies go through when they are born, they were all warm and snug and craddled inside of mommy who swung them all day and then bam! all of baby's security is taken...these techniques are supposed to mimic those of the mothers womb and he refers to it as the 4th trimester...get the DVD it's detailed and he explains it very well and shows you how to do it as he teaches other parents how do soothe and comfort thier baby. God bless and may the Lord grant you peace and joy.

Sounds like colic to me. I've had two like that. My first, so I had no clue what to do. He would wake up at about 2 am and cry uncontrollably for about 3 hours. It was tough. Number 4 was like that as well. Mercifully, her meltdown was during the day and I had a few more ideas of how to handle it. I'd swaddle her real tight and put her in the laundry room with the lights off and the machines going. She loved it. Just remember that the womb is a dark, warm, loud place. Try to create a womb-like environment. Get a sling or a wrap and carry him very close to you. Turn on the vaccuum for noise. Actually use the vaccuum for motion.

When my son was a newborn, he cried everynight at 8:00. It was every night he did this. Nothing would console him. It was so regular that we called it his eight o'clock cry! This went on until he was three or four months old. After that, it got so much easier. It was like someone fliped a switch and he quit.

sweety 8 week old babies dont understand schedules...that is only a mama dream, rock him,hold him close,recuit granma's help if needed, he will soon schedule himself. he is just doing what babies do and it sounds like he is doing it well.When he is older you won't respond to crying when he just wants his way but he is way too young to let him cry and not respond. NEW MAMA'S DONT SLEEP FOR YEAR, THAT IS A LAW LOL
god bless you

First of all, throw out the schedules! Babies that young, especially premies, do not conform to our ideas of schedules, it is our job to conform to their schedule and respond to their needs...not the other way around. Eventually, things will settle into a routine, until then do whatever you can to get some help and a nap! Then get your hands on anything by Dr Harvey Karp. "The Happiest Baby on the Block" is an excellent resource for new parents. His techniques for calming fussy babies works miracles!
Good luck!

B.,
My first grandson was a premie also. He would cry alot. My daughter couldn't figure it out either, until I told her to give him a warm bath first and then feed him. That worked ok for first month, then she switched it around and would feed him most of bottle and then give him a warm bath and then finish off the bottle. Seemed to work for her. I would then rock him and rub his little back and hold him kind of upright into my chin so if he burped again it would be ok, then sung to him and he did pretty good. He seems to need that bonding, so when you feed him try holding him upright against your chest and his little head under your chin and rub his back and hum or sing, and rock. I never had to rock him after his first year, so, it didn't spoil him to rocking. Good luck.
Shirley

Please watch him scrotum. My son herniated from screaming in pain and straining. He ended up having surgery at 3 weeks. It may be that he has the colic. If you are breast feeding start watching what you eat. Elimate any gasey foods. If you are bottle feeding you may have to change to low iron formula. He may just have an allergy to his formula. Whatever the problem he will likely grow out of it. I hope you get some sleep soon. I will pray for you.

I also love Dr. Karp's Happiest Baby on the Block DVD...

I know having a baby is tough, but an 8 week old is so little, I would let him sleep and eat as he needs...he is not a typical 8 week old, so a true routine may not get established until he is older than the norm. My children were on a 'routine'(more a pattern---wake, eat, play, sleep, wake, eat, play, sleep) roughly at 3 months, but no times were assigned until closer to 6 months. He needs to eat when he is hungry and he will go through a growth spurt about every 2-3 weeks right now so don't get to use to a set schedule...it doesn't last long---he will be on a solid schedule before you know it, but don't put that pressure on you or him...it is not appropriate at this point.

I pray you do find rest and a solution for his comfort.

try putting a little baby cereal in his milk, (rice) if you aren't already, it will not hurt him, it will just give you and him a little more rest. also he may be growing a little faster than the feeding time permits try giving him a smaller bottle in between feeding times, but the cereal should help where you could probably stay with the feeding time only. you can try giving cereal at feeding times and just milk in between times. Is he spoiled by being held alot? maybe that could be part of it. also he could have a little air on his stomach you may want to go to the store and by some gas medicine for babies, it will help. is this your first baby? Good luck with your marriage and your new baby. May God continue to bless you. p.s. don't let the new baby and the none rest interupt your new marriage, it will creep up on you, stay pretty and make sure food is done(even though he is a chef) and house is clean, unless you and him already have that worked out; it's a hard job but that's the job of a house wife, your work is never done. keep your marriage with an open communication skill. I know you didn't ask for all of that but a little more advice shouldn't hurt us.

Considering his age, it sounds very much like colic however I am unsure if you would take into account being a preemie. Our second child had colic and it really just takes some time to figure out what will help your child. For our daughter is was the Aquarium swing with the ocean sounds playing. Also, mylicon tended to help her as well. HTH

Most kids go through that at the twilight hour. It sounds normal. He could also have colic. Check with your ped just to be on the safe side.

All babies are different, so taking advice from your friends about what worked for their kids might not work for yours. Having your child on a schedule is great but if its not working for you right now, do what works for you and your baby and gradually work back at getting a schedule established. My little one is 9 weeks now. I always thought i would have him on a strict schedule, because I saw that was what some of my friends had done and it was working beautifully. Not so much with my child. We are just now getting a night time routine down but when and if he seems hungry i feed him. doesnt really matter how long it has been since the last feeding. My little one also had colic (so i thought). I called the doc and got some presciption gas meds. Still not working all that well. Got him on some acid reflux meds and he is a totally new baby! No more 3 to 4 hour crying fits at night!! Just because he might not spit up doesnt mean he doesnt have acid reflux. Ask your doc about getting him tested. Sorry if i am rambling. Just do what seems best for you and your baby. Dont worry so much about the schedule thing.

Hi there! There is a website called coliccalm.com. They have natural homeopathic liquid. It really helped my 6 week old. You can read more on their website. They were very prompt in sending it too!

B.,
according to Drs Karp and T Berry Brazelton babies of this age are just not able to self soothe so letting them cry it out is actually not working for most people. Dr Karp has a book and DVD called the Happiest Baby on the Block. He has the scientific information, not just opinion, on why it works and he gives very specific advice assuming there are no medical problems. I am certified to teach his techniques as well. We always start with a swaddle (I like the Miracle Blanket because many parents can do it right away with minimal training and it works for several months until the baby doesn't need it any longer)and move thru the calming techniques until the baby relaxes and allows themselves to relax and calm down. I can teach you these techniques and also discuss some other baby skilss if you like as an RN and Lactation consultant. Even if you are bottle feeding there are things, like how much does baby need to eat and how to know the difference in hunger and the need to self soothe. That helps you be able to understand your baby better. It is really hard with so many experts to know what is right for you and your baby. I would be happy to help. Please feel free to call me at The Nestingplace in Grapvine
K. @ The Nestingplace

Remember to subtract the premature time from his age; so if he was 3 weeks premature then he is only 5 weeks now, so he's not ready for the kind of schedule that an 8 week would be; his little tummy may not be big enough to hold enough milk to last 4 hours. Also, as the mom of 2 sets of twins, all premies to some extent, I must say that schedules at this young age should be more of a goal than a rigid timeline. If he can't make it that long at night, let him have a bottle somewhere in there. Also I found that my best friend was the vibrating bounce chair from Fisher Price called Aquarium or something like that. It helps to soothe and there's lights and music. As someone else said, consider whether gas is making his tummy hurt. It is ok for a baby to cry, but it's also ok to let the schedule go or just adjust the schedule a bit to help soothe the baby; then gently go back to it. Is he getting enough sleep? Take good care of yourself and be patient. It does get better.

Since every baby is different, especially premies, I would consider just watching your baby's cues....save your friends' schedules for when he's a bit older. It seems that he might need to be eating more often. My 9 month old still nurses every 3 hours. As for the crying, most babies have a fussy period during the early/late evenings. It's there way of releasing stress from all the stimulation they had that day. During these crying episodes, I'd put my kiddos in the front carrier and just walk around the house with them or take them for a walk. Fresh air always calmed them down and sometimes they'd take a short nap. Warm baths work well too :)

Hang in there....I don't think he's old enough to fight sleep yet. He's crying for a reason and needs his mommy to cuddle and love on him...or his tummy could even hurt. Are you nursing?

If you have not watched the Happiest Baby on the Block, I recommend getting it. I'm sure your library has it. Like most of the moms have said, most babies cry in the evening as a way of dealing with the stress of stimuli from the day. This will pass. There is really no cure for it, but the dvd has some great ways of coping with it. The 5 S's are a blessing for new parents. What they say to do to calm the baby is swaddle, shush in their ear, give them a pacifier, jiggle the head gently, and rock or swing the baby. Swaddle, Shush, Shake(jiggle gently, never shake a baby), Suck (pacifier), and Swing(rock or a swing)- The 5 S's.
I also agree that he may be needing to eat more often.
This tough period usually passes around 10-12 weeks, but since he is a premie, he should be considered a little younger than this actual birth weeks which means you could be dealing with it a little longer. Just hang in there; it gets easier!
Our daughter's fits started around 7pm and lasted until about 10. There were some nights that we just put her in the swing because it was the only way she would fall asleep. We watched Happiest Baby around week 6 and it helped a lot. Eventually the crying fits stopped, she started going to bed at 8 without much fuss and she is a great sleeper now.
Congratulations on the new baby!
Best wishes and good luck.

Hi B.! At 8 weeks crying is your baby's way of decompressing and releasing a lot of the stimulus he received during the day. My son used to have a rough patch each evening as well and I really think it was just his way of winding down from the day. At 8 weeks I don't think he is "fighting" sleep like you would associate with a toddler not wanting to go to sleep for fear of missing something fun or exciting. Unfortunately listening to your baby cry isn't any fun at all, but know that it happens to almost all new moms, myself included, and it will pass. Something that always helped me is that if you need to put your baby down for a little while in his crib while he is crying, you can, because a baby won't die from crying. This always helped me realize that it would soon pass. Hang in there, you are doing great!

My last baby was born 2 months premature and did the exact same thing every evening. It lasted until she was about 3 months. I am guessing it was colic, I tried gripe water. It worked. I also changed her schedule to feed her a little earlier and I made sure to not lay her down after her evening feeding for a few hours flat. I would sit her in her bouncy chair to keep her some what up right. I figured, if I eat something that gives me heart burn, laying down does not feel good. It did work. Ohh and my husband is a chef too... Hi!!!

*It will get better* We had twins that were preemies, born at 25 weeks, and we had similar issues with one of our daughters. For her, she was needing that extra time upright as she had reflux.....she also loved her pacie though so we took full advantage of that :)

I know you're exhausted, it's hard with a full term baby, but with a Preemie, it's a different world - you can do it, you'll all figure it out, I promise.

D.

I dont know about the crying fit but I wass going to just suggest talking to your doctor about the baby eating every 4 hours.My baby in 8 months old now and he still eats every 3 hours.When he was younger he ate every 2 hours until he was about 5 months.Now I dont know if this is right or not but I would definitly talk to your doctor and ask how often you should feed your baby.Good luck.

Ah yes, the "witching hour" as I fondly referred to it with both my kids. Seems like right around the transition from evening to night time my kids would have melt downs when they were babies. It was hard to sooth them etc. The main thing is to remain calm yourself. My husband would take my daughter into a dark quiet room and lay her on his chest. After a little while it would seem to calm her down. It should pass soon; however, I know while it is happening it is very frustrating. Hang in there!

Hey B.! I also had a preemie (born 28 weeks). She was in the NICU for 33 days and by the time she came home, she was on the 4 hour schedule. Not to scare you, but she screamed like you said until she got diagnosed w/reflux around 5 months old. And she still sometimes cried/screamed until she was a year, even though she was on Prevacid, and she still fussed/cried every night around 5:30~6:00. Everyone told me it would stop around 3-4 months, and when it didn't it was very hard. We rarely went out. BUT she is much better now (she's 19 months) and she is a joy! Not to disagree with others, but the schedule worked great for us. She started sleeping through the night around 4 months. We also started a nightime routine that helped to settle her down (bathtime same time every night, followed by reading books to her, then her final bottle for the night, etc). Hope this helps!

I don't think I would follow a schedule your friends have given you unless they had premies. Eating every 4 hours does not sound like enough at 8 weeks for a full term baby and I would think a premie would need even more.

My advice is to forget the schedule and listen to your baby's cues. A baby will develop his own schedule, but it might take a little while.

He's not old enough to be having fits and he's probably not fighting sleep. He may have a tummy ache. Sometimes babies just cry and you can't figure it out.

It will get better.