Curious Preschooler with Many Questions About Pregnancy & Birth

"It's Not the Stork" By Robie Harris. FABULOUS!! Good for ages 4+ and then there are verions for older children (later). Cartoon charachters explain it all in age apporpriate language.

Hi M.,

I got a great book for my kids. It's called "Where Did I Come From" and it's by Peter Mayle. But I think that a 4 year old is too young for this book. I think I read it to my kids when they were about 8 years old. But good book for the future.

--D.

There is an awesome book out there called "What to expect when Mommies expecting" It uses kids terms to explain everything and has exercises the kids can do to know what it is like inside the womb for the baby. It was very helpful during my last two pregnancies with my older two boys. I highly recommend it!!

Hi - I went through this when my daughter was 4. I asked her pre-school teacher for suggestions. I told her first you get married and then you pray really hard to get a baby. That worked for a little while. When she turned 6 or 7 I got a book and explained it to her for real. Four was just too young for the truth in my opinion.

I joined Mothers and More to meet other Moms.

there are books.. my daughter was 5 when she asked.. i bought where do babies come from... i read only some of it to her.. i read the rest when she was about 7... she knows all about the birds and the bees.... she was curious.. i read this book and it was wonderful.. good luck.. maybe it can help you out too.. also they have other books for younger children.. go to the book store.. and read something that will help...

I was in your position...I have 5 boys all very close together...here are my thoughts...honesty is always the best policy(age appropriate honesty) the baby comes out of the vagina...that's okay to say...sometimes a doctor will help take the baby out of a mommy's tummy...that's also okay to say...Here's the truth as I see it, you give your child answers to the questions they ask, you explain to them how to use their manners when talking about certain things...if you aren't honest and direct with your kids they go somewhere else (friends) to find out answers and those friends might not have the correct information...and that can start a whole other bunch of problems...we are setting up a pattern for life here...lets your kids feel comfortable asking you anything!!!! My oldest is 9 now and a little girl in school asked him to have sex with her...he came home and told me that she was inappropriate and we took care of it...open door policy to me is the best policy...yes I've had my 3 yr old say vagina in the grocery store...very funny and we made the word a "bathroom word"...you teach discretion, but always be honest! (again age appropriate)Good Luck!!!!

My husband and I follow two basic principles: first, ask what they think is the answer; it gives you an idea what they will understand and how detailed you have to be. Then, answer, bearing in mind that they will stop you before you give too much information. Either they will lose interest and get distracted, or, once old enough, they'll actually tell you its too much information.

M.,

Sorry I have no advice on the subject. My kids are 7, 6 and 3. Thank goodness my older two were happy just knowing that their younger sister was cut out of mommy. That was the only upside to my first and only c-sec.

Anyway, I wanted to see if you wanted to swap ideas on living natural and green and healthy because I do the same thing. E-mail me at ____@____.com if you are interested. We live in Lakehurst.

Good luck and congrats on your 3rd!

T.

Hi M.,
I have a curious preschooler at home too - and he's asked the same questions many times (my baby is due in 2 weeks). Because we have a large family (this will be our sixth child) we've come across this many times :) I am still a bit shy about the details, but have found that it's best to just be honest and let your little ones know as much as you feel comfortable telling them - and in the most easily understandable way. My four year old hasn't asked how the baby got in my belly (his 6 year old sibling told him that there are seeds in my stomach that plant babies!), but he asks how it will come out, and I let him know it will come out between my legs (he laughs and I have to tell him that it will come out of my vagina so he knows it's not the same hole he has down there). I find it a little funny because he came in the bathroom just as his brother was being born (but he was 2). I think it's best to share this information with children honestly - they sure can come up with some strange ideas if we are less than forthcoming about how life works :) I remember my Mother telling me that her Mother told her that women got pregnant because of a special look a man gave them. My Mother was afraid to look men in the eyes for quite some time!
Wishing you all the best in your pregnancy and with your growing family,
G. S

When I was pregnant with my second child, my son, who was two was also very curious about what was going on. I was honest and simplified the process but did tell him where the baby comes out from in very clear terms. I think that we pass on our own feelings to our children so that if we are okay with what we are telling them, then they are okay with it too. And once I told him, that made sense. You could try using an anatomy book. That way, it's not as personal to your own body. But I found with my children that clear and honest works best and alleviates more questions.

Hi M., I am in the same position. I have a 2 year old and a 4 year old and am 22 weeks pregnant with my third boy. My oldest was asking a lot of questions in the beginning, like, how's it going to come out? When is it going to come out? I just told him that when the baby got big enough in my tummy that I would go to the hospital and the doctor would help me get the baby out. This seemed to be good enough for him. As for how it got in there, he has not asked me, but I would just say "because Mommy and Daddy love eachother so much that a baby grew". I think that is all they can handle at this point. They really don't want specifics, just simple answers. Mine also asks me why the sky is blue...I told him to ask his preschool teacher! ;-)

Good luck!
L.

plenty of books at the library, just ask the librarian. my son, 3.5 at the time needed more info than the basics. after he got the concept that i push the baby out from down there and a good dr just helps, he asked if the dr uses a knife. LOL! interesting that he realized getting something "this" big through a tiny opening seems impossible. first words to me when he came to visit me and his baby brother, "did the dr use a knife?" the nurses almost lost it. ENJOY and congrats!!!

It looks like you've gotten lots of great answers of advice already, but just wanted to share that when my older son was five years old and we got the news of a friend expecting a baby, he turned to me and; "Momma, I know that the baby is in the Momma's tummy and that there's a special opening for the baby to come out..... but...... I'm just wondering...... what does the Daddy have to do with it? Huh? What does he have to do with it?" LOL!!! :D
Blessings,
D.

HAHAHA, My son was 3.5 when my niece was born and he asked my sister that question. She told him to ask me, then called me asap to warn me. I was able to distract him a few more weeks until my second son was born. He asked again how the baby came out. I told him that the doctor took it out. That worked for about 2 weeks. Then again "your body is all closed up-how did the doctor get the baby out?" Then I told him that the doctor did magic to get him out. I told him that we don't know how a magician does magic, the doctor does magic." He gave me this look like he knew I was putting him off, but he shrugged and walked away. He asked one more time after that, and told me that he knew I wasn't telling him everything. I finally told him that the doctor does take the baby out and when he gets older I will tell him exactly how, but that right now he doesn't need to know.

It's up to you how much you want your children to know at a young age, I just know that for me, I knew at 5 exactly how people got pregnant and gave birth (my friends mom was a labor nurse who told her everything-she told me). I was traumatized by it and couldn't comprehend it at all, so I did not want to tell him anything. GOOD LUCK

When my daughter was 4 and I was pregnant with her sister, she had all the same questions. I found a wonderful video tape at the children'sn library. I was age-appropriate and all about how the child might feel being a big brother or sister. It covered the sex and birth parts in a very appropriate way for a young child and seemed to answer all her questions. Unfortunately I don't really remember the name of the tape, but you could ask the children's librarian for some suggestions.