Custdy Issues Please Help!!!

Dear M.,
Oh my, this is quite a dilemma. You don't say what kind of relationship the father and son have with each other. If they have a good relationship, then it is good that father wants to be with him. However, remember this, it is not good to put the child in the middle of parental issues. Your little son is a precious gift from God; he needs nurturing from both parents and a calm environment. When mommy and daddy are stressed then the little ones get stressed - they can sense how we feel. Please think about everything you are doing right now, as it will affect your son's behavior and attitude toward life now and in the future. Keep in mind that it is very important to have peaceful relations with your son's father so that your son will feel at ease when he is with daddy. You don't want him to feel torn between the two of you or feel guilty for loving either of you. I will keep you in my prayers. Sincerely, D.

he can ask for anything he wants - what he gets is another story. you will most likely get primary residence because it has been that way. that provides consistency for the child. also you will most likely get the back child support.

i do know of a case (friend of mine) who's son bounces households weekly. it's no big deal except when school time comes. then you have to work out which school he is going to attend and how he will get there and be picked up and such as. Also you get into having to provide clothes at both houses and bedrooms, etc. the mother lives in Zephyrhills and the father lives in Tampa. Luckily the step mother works in Zephyrhills and the boy attends school in Zephyrhills. It is really messy and hard on the boy.

i have found that it is not really good for the child to be bounced like that and have no "permanent" home.

that said, i strongly advise you to get an attorney. i can recommend charles waller in dade city. he did my divorce - course mine went amicably. he also advised a friend of mine and that went okay (my friend did not do as i advised him).

for something like this i do not recommend trying it alone - without counsel and i do not recommend bay area legal services either.

he would also have to work out child care while he works, getting the child back and forth to you and a whole lot of other little issues that make this a nightmare to contemplate.

when you go before the judge, be honest and share that you have tried to be fair and let him have open access to his son. also, you may need records for the pediatrician to show whether or not his father has ever cared for him while he was sick (would he even know what to do - allergies, etc). also, i do not recommend going before a magistrate for something this complex. push to go before a judge.

Whoever gets primary residence usually has the child more, the other parent gets the child, one day a week until 9 p.m.??? then every other weekend & I think the summer they are allowed at least a week for vacation & then the holidays are shared, like you get the child every other Christmas, Thanksgiving, etc, it has been 5 years since my divorce so things could have changed, my ex-husband & I share her on the holidays, he will get her in the morning on Christmas & Thanksgiving & I will get her in the evening, but that's by choice & during the Summer, we have her 1/2 & 1/2, by choice. I hope this helps.

T

My husband and I are in just the opposite situation. We pay chid support for my step-son, his mother gets public assistance and there is no custody agreement with the court with us either, however we have had my step-son all but 4 days this month. She still has claim as the custodial parent though. But she doesnt want the baby, just the benefits she can get by the cp claim. And if we are late on a payment ( we have 3 other kids to upport as well as him 5 days a week ) then she says we wont get him and when we give him to her to see she keeps him anywhere from a couple days to months, depending on how much of him she can handle or if she has enough babusitters lined up to take him so she dont have to.

I'm kind of in the same boat. My baby's father threatened that if I got any type of gov't assistance that he and his WIFE would sue me for full custody. I haven't heard from him in over a month and I'm not getting any support. does anyone think that he would be able to get full or even 1/2 custody? Only thing I'm willing to agree on is supervised visitation.