Daddy's Girlfriend

let daddy explain it he got himself into this situation let him get himself out of it. I would prefer to wait 6 months before introducing cause most failed trial and error periods end in 6 months.

He should not be introducing the children to anyone until the relationship is extremely serious. I am so sorry that you have such an immature ex. Sorry i do not have any advice, i have not been in the situation. I feel for you and your kids...

It seems to me that you and Daddy have some talking to do. I think if the situation is getting to the point that he wants her to meet the family, and they are going on trips that being honest with the children is the best thing to do. I do think that talking with the father and expressing this to him and telling him that the kids should know really whats going on to avoid alot of confusionl later would be better,even though it seems that even telling them now will have some eye brows raised! You don't want to just do it without talking with him because it may cause you and the father to fight. Is he not telling them because of his past tack record? It seems to me that maybe he is ashamed of is own behaviors or maybe even unsure that this is the one.So have a talk with him see why he doesn't want to tell the kids and let him know that telling your kids the truth is showing them respect to.If you want anymore advice just message me.

Do you think it's at all possible for him (and you) to agree not to introduce anymore "friends" to the kids until it's VERY serious? You don't say how old your kids are, but if they believe she is his dentist, they must be young. again, don't know the ages of your kids so I don't know if you should explain it or not.....

Is your husband an otherwise good father?
I have a friend, actually he is my huisband's best friend, and he is always on a new girls friend. He is always bringing a new girl on vacation with him. He even introduces then to my children as his newest love.
At home we make a joke about it.
He has a daughter that comes every weekend and Christmas, Easter, Holidays. He is an excellent father and devotes himself to Linsey. She knows that Daddy has many girfriends and has taken it in stride. She sometimes will sigh and say this is another of Daddy's girls but it has not interfered with her self esteem or her grades. I wouldn't think twice if something happened to myself or my husband about leaving my children with our friend. His girls are harmless.
I would let the children know that this is another of Daddy;s girlfriends. If you do not approve then tell them. Do not be snotty or catty or mean just matter of fact. As they grow they will see that this is not the best choice of a lifestyle.
Our friends daughter is 11, He has been doing this for three years.
If she were unhappy or her grades were failing I would not write this. But he is a great father to her and she is happier in his home than at her mom's. The mother has custody because he is a deployable Marine.

Do no explaining. Just be rock solid yourself, for them. Let your lifestyle prove to them that you can always be counted on, and that things are consistent with you. You cannot control the way he parents, but you can control the way you parent. Good luck. I feel for you guys.

K.

I agree with advice already given - it would be good to have your ex talk to the children about who the "dentist" really is. If he is serious enough about her to bring her on a long trip with the family, then it is time to introduce her to the children as daddy's girlfriend. Children are fairly observant, and they appreciate honest communication.

What your ex did last year by dating so many women and introducing them to the kids is really unfair and unkind to your children. He can date as many women as he wants to, but introducing them to the kids is an entirely different matter.

Always good to have a dentist along, never know when your teeth might need a little floss, oh that wasn't even funny...what I wanted to say wasn't even appropriate-anyway you have a sense of humor God bless you. I would probably explain it because that is how I am without being too emotional (which is also how I am but cannot explain things to good when I shriek or cry). Since he did not correct it perhaps he sees the error in introducing 13 previous women as his girlfriend (what does this man have that you didn't want him, but all these others do? Sounds like a Don Juan, good thing you are out...sorry, rambling here. You could just tell the truth since he seems to have a problem with that.

Let him be the bad guy. If you interfere, that bad buy may be you. Once the kids have a clue and they will, they will ask at the right time and he may have to explain things in front of the whole family...his problem.

L.,

I can honestly say I feel your frustration and the situation of your ex going through girlfriend like candy and your child/children have to sit there and experience many failed relationships that their daddy kept having was so entirely frustrating. Bless your heart! Since my daughter was 6 my ex has had countless...yes countless girlfriends and he would introduce them to my daughter days or weeks after he started seeing them I could truly see how this was affecting her. He went out with this one girl and around 2 weeks after they started dating he spent the night over at her house & took my daughter with him to stay.... He made her sleep on the couch while he slept in his girlfriends room. Then after that girlfriend was said and done he went out with another girl and this one had a young baby, he took my daughter over there and slept over at her house and he made my daughter sleep in the young babys room while he slept in his girlfriends room and my daughter slept in her babys room...then supposively she complained to her daddy saying that her baby kept her up all night crying and making noises. He had her sleep another night in the same bed as him and his girlfriend. This was not ok. If my ex was someone that could be communicated with in a mature manner then the other times would have even happened and God knows how many other times he had done this. Here is the conseqence of the countless girlfriends in my daughters life...she is 12 years old now and she resents her father. She is open about what she feels about him since we have a strong, trusting relationship. She said it makes her so mad when he keeps going out with different girls. She said she doesn't even want to met them unless they have been going out for a looong while. She told me she believes it's him that causes his own relationships fail and she can see why. I don't say anything negotive back to her because you should never talk bad and the other parent as that can cause animosity. I would honestly say 1 year and only if it's serious. I had to tell the social study lady and court about this and they put in the papers. Does he do it now? I'm not sure, but I do know each and every time it will negitively affect her. Sorry for the long talk, lol! I guess I just want you to know that don't want you to think your the only one and what this kind of situation can create. Here is my suggestions about your situation...keep communication open with your ex about this or anything else that might come along(if possible), talk about a time when it would be appropriate for him to introduce the kids to the girlfriend and make sure it would be a serious relationship( remember our kids evaluate us and in what we do with relationships), meet the girlfriend that will be introduced to your kids(this is extremely important as these girls will be around your children). Him only being with her for 2 months and introducing her already to the kids and your children thinking that she is a big sister is not ok, this will affect your children, your ex should make this clear to them that she isn't. In fact if he just ends up going through with the fathers day plans he should tell them that she is only a friend and he should treat it like that in front of the children until the time you two agree on when he can say that she is a girlfriend. Please don't think i'm onto you, you are doing so great and sometimes we all need a little guiding suggestions...heck even me! ;). You sound like a very intellegent, caring and loving mother and your kids are so lucky to have a mother such as you. If you need any further questions please do not hesitate to contact mr directly through here. :) Good luck and hope everything turns out ok!

Hugs

Boy, did this bring back memories! In short, I agree with Carla and Kristi - let HIM do the explaining.

My parents divorced when I was six, and it was no mystery who the women were in my father's life. My brother and I knew intuitively, I guess. Of course, I didn't understand the intimate details, but I knew what a girlfriend meant - that my dad was romancing a woman.

One of the ladies was an artist who once lived in Florida, and somehow my brother and I thought she knew Walt Disney. Another lady worked in a flower shop, and we thought she owned the whole florist. I can still see my mother rolling her eyes!

Thirty-five years and four wives later, my father still leaves no mysteries, be it women, politics, or religion. We are very different, but I have a warm and loving relationship with him, and talk to him almost every day. He's done his best to be a good dad. Life is messy, and he's had a lot of explaining to do through the years, but I've always known that he loves me, and I guess that's most important.

Unfortunately, you don't have any control over your children's relationship with their dad. Good or bad, he is what he is and he is their father. My mother was careful to hold her comments (occasional eye-rolling not included), and I respect her for that. She worked on her mothering and if my dad was going to flounder, well, the obvious needed no commentary! Best wishes!