My stepdaughter was asked to auction for our dance studio's competitive team. This is something she's always wanted to do. However, she's involved with 2 other competitive activities (cheerleading and gymnastics) so I had a long talk with the studio's manager about the team and what the commitment would entail. She told me it would involve practice two times a week and commitment to two competitions a year. She told me the dates and I cross-checked them with our calendar and everything worked out. The practices are not during cheer or gymnastics. So my stepdaughter tried out and made the team.
Now that she's on the team we're being told that she has to attend some special Master Classes on the weekends and we were given a schedule. This is NOT something the manager told me about! And unfortunately for me, the manager I spoke to left the studio for another job.
We've already invested in 2 new pairs of dance shoes (they have to be a certain color and style), We've put a down payment on her costumes and she's already being placed in the dances.
We can't make the weekend Master Classes. She has cheerleading competitions, gymnastics competitions and she goes to her mother's every other weekend. Her mother is very accommodating and together we work out which cheer and gymnastics competitions she will do--we try not to have too many on her mom's weekends, and her mom is wonderful about bringing her or also coming to the competitions that are not on her weekends just for support. I think we could work out ONE Master Class, based on all of our schedules. The rest conflict with something.
I'm going to talk to the studio next week (I just got the paper on it after class last week). I hate being one of the moms asking for exceptions because I think what's expected is what's expected. However, I was not told about this ahead of time. If I had been, I might not have had my stepdaughter try out because now this is going to break her heart if she can't do it now that she started.
Any advice on what to say? I'm going to go with the truth to the studio, but I'm not sure what to say if they give me a hard time.
I would just tell them that you can't do these weekend classes and see where it goes from there. We are always getting information about weekend stuff at the studio and they are not mandatory but offered so the girls can learn new things and be better. If they are required you have a case to be refunded if they are not then you have what you expected and it works for you. No loss to just talk to them and ask.
Seems like a really hard schedule for a young person to handle. Whether or not there are master classes on weekends, being on three competitive teams would seem overwhelming for anyone. Even with a twice a week commitment (as you believed you were quoted) it seems impossible to juggle that kind of schedule-- as I would imagine there would also be a minimum commitment of weekly time required for both cheerleading and gymnastics.
I would have a talk with your daughter about overscheduling in general. She sounds like a trouper -- but you want to protect her from burning out.
I would ask for all of our money back and take back the shoes and anything else she has not used.
She will not be able to totally participate at this time. Not fair to her or the others participating.
This is their fault.
I'm with Laurie. They should refund your deposit, and chances are that you can return the shoes she hasn't used yet. My daughter was in competitive cheer for a year, and that's a huge time commitment, and then competitive gymnastics AND competitive dance, too? Plus weekend master classes? She'll end up injured and burned out with that kind of schedule. Better to have her take regular dance classes (if she wants to) and re-evaluate for the competitive dance team next year, now that you know what it involves.
I would just tell them, when you spoke with the manager, you were told these 2 competition dates plus classes Tuesday/Thursday (or whatever), but that no mention was made of weekend classes too - and since you do not have full-time custody of her, and she has cheer and gymnastics, it's not going to work with her existing sports that she was already signed up for.
I would have an honest conversation with both SD and the studio. The Master Classes were not something you were informed about. You said you had a schedule to cross reference before you let her try out. Present that to the studio to prevent a "she said/she said" situation. You may have to sit down with your SD and say it won't work this time, you're sorry, but you (i.e. all her parents) did not get the full lowdown from the studio.
I hope you have something in writing on the expectations for the team; otherwise you may have a she said -- I said situation. Since the person you talked to has left the studio you have no proof of what she said. She may have been terminated because she lied but again you have no proof.
It might help if you talked to the other parents to see what they were told and if did match with the expectations. It might be best if you can find out which students left the program and why and talk to those parents.
both my kids are in dance this is our 6th yr and I would not put up with this from a studio.
I would pull my child and explain that it was not the agreed upon arrangement. breach of contract on their end.
Our company girls practice daily , and all parents know that up front, there are no surprises.
I don't know how old she is but if she is nearing high school or in early high school this is where an activity will seem to blossom and you and her will not be able to do multiple acitivities with further responsibilites than they appear at first and keep up with homework and family. That said almost any private dance studios competition team includes team practice, competitions, special practices, special performances. Then there are usually at least two classes of basic dance like ballet and jazz. Most dance competition girls I know at separate studios are at most in one other activity and are up late trying to get homework done. Don't know how long the conversations were about competition team or if they started with the words these are the minimum requirments. If your child can't be a fully participating member it would not be fair to the others who put in way more hours every week to go to competition. Closing in on competition and recitials there are even more requirements of extra rehearsals that may interfere. You could try asking for the deposit back but this is usually paid by the studio to order a costume in your childs size as well as the shoes...so you may be out if she quits..
I understand a desire top let her do everything she is passionate about but maybe teach her to be self limiting and say no so she can enjoys the activities she does do completely. As I would see no room for high school requirements and home life and friends if she is overbooked weekly. Good luck in making this decision.
