Daughter Deathly Afraid of...caterpillars

You could try finding a book that shows the change a caterpillar goes through becoming a butterfly. Otherwise, just hang in there, most children have an irrational fear of something, and it usually goes away as they get older. Good luck.

I know I still have undo trauma due to my dad forcing me to do something I didn't want to do. This would be like having her walk among the caterpillars. I would just try to keep the word and the insect out of my vocabulary as much as possible. As she gets older, one day she will probably be bringing them to you as gifts.

I'm a 62 year old music teacher teaching voice, piano, organ, and violin

Oh my god, I laughed so hard reading that -- I'm sorry! -- I'll explain...

When my daugher was about two, I took her to the zoo with some other mothers and their 2 year olds. We were in the Great Apes house and the little ones were all pressed up against the glass watching the apes. A HUGE gorilla started bellowing and pounding on the glass and all the little kids ran away sobbing -- all except my daughter -- who pressed her herself CLOSER to the glass, giggled, and said, "I love you monkey!" while kissing the glass barrier.

Five minutes later, we were walking through the zoo, and my kid started shrieking and crying as if she was bleeding from both ears. The problem? Oh, she saw an ANT!

For a couple of years she went absolutely CRAZY if she saw "a big ant" -- meanwhile she would run up and hug the biggest scariest dog she could find on the street, mind you...

Oh god, then it was flies! If a fly got into our house she would scream like someone was severing her arm with a steak knife -- it was ridiuclous. I'd be working and on the phone, and the person on the other end was convinced that my child was being ax-murdered in the background, and I was just like, "Oh, yeah, no she's fine. It's just a fly." (I'm surprised no called social services!)

I believe in trying to respect people's phobias and fears -- but only within reason. One CANNOT avoid flies or ants (or caterpillars, for that matter), so I just didn't cater to it. I explained that flies and ants can't hurt you, etc. Then I just let her flip out, and when she would calm down, I'd tell her in my firmest, mean-mom voice that this behavior was NOT acceptable, and that she simply had to "deal with it."

The thing that eventually seemed to work was humor. I asked her to imagine how scared she would be if SHE was the fly or the ant or whatever...we talked about how she was a giant and the ant/fly was probably screaming with terror whenever they saw her coming, etc. She seemed to enjoy this image and would construct elaborate stories along these lines...

The downside of this was that she eventually empathized with the bugs so MUCH, that we had to insure that every single insect was set free so it could "find his family".

I'm probably the wrong person to give advice here...all I can say is that my kid DID eventually get past it.
Dude, best luck, and thanks for making me laugh!

This is so funny because my 6 year old is totally freaked out by caterpillars. Taking a walk gets to be such a chore anymore because she will freeze if she sees a caterpillar or a worm. We were walking home from the pool and i ended up having to carry her and all of our stuff because she stopped dead on the sidewalk and wouldn't walk.

Recently I got so aggravated and i decided this had to stop so i turned it into a game. I felt a little silly at first but i got over it quickly because it got her walking. I told her we had to be good caterpillar spotters and if she saw one she had to yell jump and we would jump over it. Now just to put this in perspective she is also freaked out over dried up dead worms so we jumped for almost 15 minutes because it was quite the walk home and they are everywhere. But she walked and she laughed and now when we walk she wants to play the game and she will jump over them.

Of course she won't go near them still and she is still afraid of them but she doesnt freeze and cry when she is near them now.

So good luck with this I don't think there is anything we can really do to stop the fear because we all have our little fears and they are still little enough to not be able to deal with those fears. I feel your pain though!!!

Another place with simply terrific butterflies is Brookside Gardens in Wheaton, Maryland. It's straight out Georgia Ave. past the Beltway and really quite easy to find if you just Google directions. The display in the butterfly house (which may not be open for the season quite yet) is truly spectacular--sometimes a thousand at once fluttering in a fairly small space all around you. They also have cases in which chrysalises hang and if you watch you often can see a butterfly hatch from its chrysalis right in front of you. It is well, well worth the drive and the time! One word of warning --the parking is limited near the butterfly house so you might need to park in another lot but you'd only have to walk through the gorgeous gardens a bit longer. Give it a try; it's really worth it.

One of the moms here suggests showing her how they turn into beautiful butterflies; an excellent idea. You can actually buy a caterpillar and watch it cocoon and all, and then you release it later. If that doesn't work, well...

My daughter (4 1/2) freaks if we try to watch Mulan. Why? no idea, but she will not watch it. So I think fear of caterpillars is more normal than that!

All apologies, but I do not agree with the water in a spray bottle. These are innocent creatures who don't deserve a dousing, plus it would just teach her that it's okay to lash out at things you're afraid of without learning more about them first.

This is a phase and she should grow out of it in time. They might always give her the creeps, (or not) but she won't always scream when she sees one. And someday, we'll be able to watch Mulan again...

-S. K

Right from day one, I approached caterpillars and all bugs with a sense of wonderment and curiosity in front of my daughter. I would hold them and tell stories about them, I would ask her questions about them and give them families and lives without us. I made sure to put them on my finger and be very gentle with them. In the rain we would go out and look for worms to save from the road. I guess I just made an extra effort to really like bugs even though I could easily live without them. Now my 2 1/2 year old loves bugs and will do searches in the yard for rolly pollys and worms and caterpillars. I'm not sure if it's too late to start that but anything is worth a try.

Have you tried to find a book that explains the life cycle and how they change into butterflies? The very first Little Einsteins, the one I think called The Great big adventure, is about butterflies and we've taken some very nice books out of the library that talk about how caterpillars change. If it was the Hungry Caterpillar that freaked her out maybe reading about them in a different way will help.

Good Luck - R. A

Dear A.,

I have no advice; my daughter loves bugs. She must get that from her grandmother. Grandma's nickname was "Bugs" when she was little because she liked to sit in the dirt and play with bugs. This was back in the 1920's so I guess it was deemed odd that a girl liked bugs.

I do have a question. Are these nice caterpillars like monarch or swallowtail caterpillars, or are these those yucky, crunchy tent caterpillars that sometimes swarm over everything outside? I can't stand those yucky caterpillars myself. Maybe she can't stand the crunch under her feet. If you own or rent a house, try sweeping them off the driveway right before you leave while she watches. If you live in an apartment, I don't know what you can do. Is there a garage or carport you can park the car in?

I have a spray bottle filled with Holy Water for whenever my daughter gets afraid of something. Works like a charm. Since it's extra powerful water, bats, rats and snakes don't stand a chance against Super Magic Holy Water Spray. And it's handy when we both need a blessing. A spray toward the caterpillars without actually blasting them may work. Also, the bit of DEET-free Off around the ankles may work.

I'm growing parsley in a clay pot to attact swallowtail butterflies. The butterflies lay eggs on the parsley, the eggs hatch and the caterpillars eat the leaves. That may be an interesting project for you. At least it works down here in Virginia.

The point of the Very Hungry Caterpillar is that he ate too much of the wrong food and made himself sick. With the parsley you can show your daughter that caterpillars only eat leaves.

Don't try to carry your daughter and her stuff at the same time. Somthing, stuff or daughter, is going to have to wait.

If this continues after caterpillar season, please seriously consider professional help. She may just add on other fears and become agoraphobic at five. Yikes!

Ok, so, maybe it wouldn't hurt to check out Carol Bowman's "Past Lives of Children" Ms. Bowman was having similar odd-ball fear issues with her kids when she stumbled across an unexpected understanding AND solution. Its a fairly easy read. Small, thick paperback. Good luck!
P.S. I'm a GW Alum '97 :-)

Is it just catapillers that she's afraid of? Have you asked her why she's afraid? Perhaps if you sprayed some bug spray on her before you left the house? Then tell her, there, you have bug spray on, they won't want to be around you now?
M.

Hi A.,

Are there any child psychologist at the local preschool near you that you can call and ask this question?

Are there any professors of child psychology at GW University that you can ask.

As you already know, this child has some unknown terrors that will take time to resolve. Someone who works with children would probably know how to resolve this painful issue for you.

Good luck. Hope this helps. D.

I wonder if one of those caterpillar kits would help? You buy the kit and watch them turn from caterpillars into butterflies. Of course if shes afraid to go anywhere near the kit then that wont work :P Maybe if they are in a cage and she knows they cant escape she wont be.
Otherwise my advice is that it is just a phase and she will grow out of it. Soon youll be laughing about it. Also, maybe if you distract her all the way to car. Such as have a race with her or point to clouds or birds in the sky so she looks upward instead of to the ground. Good luck!

A quick Google search found this link: http://www.butterfly-gifts.com/live-butterfly-kits.html

what about taking her to the natural history museum in DC to see the butterfly exhibit? You can talk about how the benign caterpillers turn into the beautiful butterfly.

It's probably just a phase, but I would probably take it/treat it seriously, and slowly help her to overcome the phobia like any therapist would do. Spend time looking at nature picture books, and then maybe documentary movies of the life of a caterpiller/butterfly. But take it slow. With your help, she'll be over it in no time.

Wishing you well!

A.,

I think that you should, if you can, pick up a caterpillar, hold it in your hand, and show it to her. Have another adult, her dad would be perfect, and have him hold her while you show her the bug. Explain to her that caterpillars turn into beautiful butterflies, and that there is nothing to be afraid of. If she sees you holding it, and it be close to her, she will be more comfortable around them. Offer for her to touch it, but if she declines, do not push the issue. You don't want to upset her more. Just try to coax her into looking at them, so that she will be okay with it. My son was deathly afraid of butterflies. He got scared of them from an episode of spongebob. But, he's fine now. So, try that. Good luck & God bless!

Well, good luck with this, my sister was afraid of frogs when we were kids (afraid they would bite her,) no matter how much we told her frogs have no teeth, even opened a poor toad's mouth one time to show her, and it had no impact. (She's over it now as an adult thankfully = )

Here are some ideas - get a little spray bottle of water and give it to her, name it caterpillar-away spray or something. Even if she runs into a real caterpillar, if its a strong squirt, it will cause them to roll up into a ball or even wash them over to the side of the path a bit.

Also, take her to a nature center or the part of the National Zoo that has the butterflies flying free - really emphasize how these harmless little caterpillars turn into such beautiful creatures. Another suggestion is the Bug Zoo (sponsored by Orkin) in the Smithsonian's Museum of Natural History - be prepared for live creatures of all kinds though.

You should also pick up a caterpillar or two yourself and let them walk all over your hand. Not up close to her (until she wants to), but just seeing that you are holding it and it isn't biting you might also help.

My four year old DD does best with these kinds of fears when I give her a way to 'control' the situation. That and a lot of education on caterpillars and their life cycles might be a way to go.

Good luck!

My daughter has gone through this on many occasions. One time the preschool called to say she was outside holding her ears screaming "I have a bug!". She has also been deathly afraid of wind, strange cats (we even have 3 of our own), and now dogs (freezes if she even hears a dog 200 feet away). To get her over the bug and wind fear (for the most part) we say with emphasis, "Go away Bug! Don't bug me!" over and over again. We are still working on the dog issue (I see therapy in her future for that one). I think it is normal for some kids and it does pass. Good luck!

I don't know what to tell you. When my daughter was 2 1/2, she was terrified of those helicopter things that fall off the trees. It was horrible. She wouldn't go outside at all. I just wanted to let you know that these odd fears happen, and pass.