Daughter Refusing to Go to Bed

My son started having this problem when he was 3. He would be up until nearly midnight every night and seldom took naps. Then he would wake up at 5:30am. He would be tired during the day, but seemed unable to wind down. It became an issue mainly because after a couple of weeks his moods became difficult to handle. I suspected it was due to the lack of sleep.

For him it was not merely a matter of "laying down the law", since he did not get out of bed, ask for things or play loudly. He would just lie there, tossing and turning for hours.

Finally, his pediatrician recommended a very small dose of Clonidine to help him sleep. Normally I am opposed to medicating children, but I had tried everything else. It took him only about 2 days to adjust to the medication. Since then, he has sleep for 10 hours/night and he is back to his normal, happy self.

Just a suggestion....I hope it works out for you, whatever you choose to do!

I agree about laying down the law. You are the adult. Guilt free parenting. It seems like this habit has been starting for a long time.

I would preface the situation with "honey, mommy doesn't like it when you stay up late at night. We need our rest to grow and to do fun things during the day. Night time is a time for sleep.. etc.. Tonight it's going to change. If you dont' listen to mommy, I am going to start taking away (things that make her happy). If you do listen to mommy, I will (give you a sticker, or we can go out to luch, or do an art project together etc... )

Then follow through!!! Your husband should back you up as well with "honey, you have to listen to you mother, there is no choice in the matter " As with everything, it takes a few days of tantrums and stretching nerves for it to set in. Be firm and gentle. Good luck

Hi L. -

I had a similiar experience with my daughter when she was 2 1/2 to 3 years old. We tried to get her to go to bed around 8 to 830, and she wouldnt fall asleep until 1030-11 pm. We went to Dr. Ferber (the sleep specialist) and he actually said that her internal clock was off, and that we had to "reset" it.

He said to let her stay up until the time she was ready, and then to put her down (rather than the fight that we had every night), and then every few days, try to get her in 5-10 or even 15 minutes earlier. It took a LONG time, but now she goes to bed every night at 830 and sleeps through the night. (we were also having issues with her getting up 2-4 times a night on top of not going to sleep)

They actually did an article on it (well, on Dr. Ferber, but they used Casey as a Case Study) Here is the website to read it.
http://www.childrenshospital.org/dream/dream_fall06/sweet...

Oh the other thing was to chart or log every night what time she went to bed, how long she slept, did she wake in the night, and what time she got up. Also, they had us chart the naps (as she was naping at the time) Oh, and if your daughter is still napping... you may want to stop that if she is staying up so late. Dr. Ferber actually had us make sure that at 2 1/2 that she was not getting more than 90 minutes nap. By 3 1/2 she was done with them.

Here is the link, and if you want to talk or get more information (I could even try to email you the chart that Dr. Ferber gave us) just let me know.

This will take time (it took us about 4-6 months) but once it works... you feel like a new woman (and mom!!).

L.

I have a 4 year old that is up until midnight to 1 am.
I feel your pain. I have found that if I can get him to actually lay still he will fall asleep. One thing that I do and I don't know if you house is 2 levels or not but if he doesn't listen to me I give him a warning and then if he still isn't listening I put him downstairs. I tell him that if he can't lay in bed I am going to make him sleep downstairs by himself. I did it with all the kids and they come back upstairs and lay quietly.
As far as them sharing a room, that is your decision. I can't believe the state of Mass can dictate where your kids sleep.
Good luck

You are the adult and she is the child time to lay down the law. You need to make it clear to her that at bedtime we get one drink and one potty trip after being tucked in and then its time for bed. She really shouldn't be sharing a room with her brother I know there's quite an age difference with the boys but they should be sharing the room. Once you set the rules for bedtime with her start a reward system when she goes to bed without giving you a hard time she gets a sticker on a chart once she gets so many in a row she gets a prize. Another thing is remove the toys from the room. My boys only have a bookcase in their room. I never wanted toys in my downstairs but it works we keep all the toys in our living room closet. It doesn't really make sense to send a child to their room if the room is full of toys so thats our rule the only toy in the bedroom is one stuffed animal each everything else stays downstairs. No toys in the room no urge to want to stay up and play with them. I believe in Massachusetts once a child reaches 5 they aren't supposed to share a room with a child of a different gender. seperating them will atleast help your 7 yr old get the sleep he needs. My boys are 7 and 20 months and they share a room without any problems. try a blue light night light in her room if she claims its the dark. They have a soft glow so its not bright enough to keep her awake but its bright enough so that she won't be scared.