Daughter Still Not Feeding Herself

K.,

You have been a very patient, diligent mother!! It sounds like she is trying to swallow the food but does not know how to swallow when she puts the food in her mouth herself. Have you done a swallow study or spoken with a speech therapist. For two years her mind swallows when you feed her. Feeding herself is new, so her brain has to now tell her mouth and throat to swallow. Little nervous systems are always growing and reworking nerve paths. This is just thought.

Good Luck and Good Job,
Mel

K.,
You are NOT alone! My oldest son has a genetic muscle disorder...from me, and did not crawl until 15 months...walked 24 days before his second birthday. Do you get early intervention physical and occupational therapy for her? If so, good! If not, please contact your local agencies as these services are free through most counties, and PRICELESS in how they can help your daughter, as well as you. Keep encouraging her. Let her hand on to a spoon during the day and just let her get to gripping it. Does she use a paci? If so, can she get that or a bottle to her mouth by herself? She will get there, providing God wants that for her. I believe in fervent prayer, and being active in seeking all help you can get from anywhere you can get it from. Try not to show frustration or sadness around her as she will sense this. Also, take time for yourself, and don't forget a once in a while date night with hubby. Spousal support is so important, as well as treating each other with grown up time if you can get it. God bless!!

K.,

I am no medical professional, however my niece has hypotonia. It sound similar to what your daughter might have. My sister is currently receive therapy for her daughter with state and insurance aid. My niece is a very happy go lucky child (almost 2 yrs). Her determination level is great. She is still not walking, but gets around just fine and gets into trouble too! Anyways, there was a concern that my niece was not swallowing properly. She just recently had a swallow test performed and everything is normal, thank goodness. This may be something that you might want to consider. My niece currently has a physical therapist, fine motor skill therapist, play therapist, speech therapist and an eating therapist. Insurance pays for part of the fee, state program pays for part of the fee and my sister has to pay for the rest. It has also been suggested that my sister take my niece for "Hippotherapy", which is some kind of riding horse therapy.
I hope some of this helps you. Feel free to contact me if you would like more information. ____@____.com

Penny

K.,
Good for you for being so on top of things. Getting help from TEIS is an excellent step. If you continue to have concerns,you could ask your pediatrician for a referral to a feeding specialist. The ones I know the most about are at the Vanderbilt Bill Wilkerson Center: http://www.vanderbiltchildrens.com/interior.php?mid=765.You could also ask your current OT or Service coordinator about adding a feeding evaluation/therapy to your Individualized Family Service Plan.

Hi there! My son was born with down syndrome, and had low muscle tone, along with developmental delays. At about one month old we had him in physical therapy a couple times a week! They showed me what to do with him on a daily basis--which pretty much was taking his legs between diaper changes and riding a bike in the air. They said laughing was good for the muscle tone, arm exercises, me just moving him...I'm happy to say it worked and he has good muscle tone as a teenager today. In my state of Tennessee, Chattanooga area, we have a few schools for special needs children--one is Siskin, the other Orange Grove, and I've forgotten the other one...but I enrolled him at about four years of age to help with those developmental delays. These type schools have trained professionals who know what methods to use to teach these wonderful children, and can help you to know what to do at home to help your child. That finger food feeding helps with what they call "fine motor skills"; but because your child will not actually eat the food that she puts to her mouth, have you considered hand over hand help? In other words, you make her hold the spoon and your hand over hers, then pick up the food and put it to you mouth--try that, hon, and good luck! Look into your area to see what might be offered for your little girl in the way of school for developmentally delayed children!

K., I can't say I have any experience with this situation, but I was wondering if she drinks from a straw or not? If so, she might like some of the nutrition shakes that are on the market. You could also make her fruit and veggie smoothies to make sure she's getting fresh, nutritious foods. I would say that by giving her the finger foods daily, you're doing the right thing. I guess you just have to have patience and know that the more she practices, the better she will get. I'm sure it is frustrating for you, because you want to help her, but as long as she is getting the nutrients she needs, and is interested in learning to feed herself, just give her the time to develop the skills. Show her a lot of positive feedback when she tries, encouragement is good for everyone. Sorry if that wasn't much help, Good luck.

Hi K.! Good job on continuing to give her finger foods every day. A couple people made some great suggestions on which foods to try and also the early intervention services. Speech/language pathologists can also help with feeding issues. My daughter receives EI, and it has been very helpful.

On another note, in regards to the undiagnosed condition, your daughter sounds similar to the genetic disorder that my daughter has. It is called Smith Lemli Opitz - has your pediatrician or geneticist tested for it? I would love to talk more with you about it, or feel free to visit the website for the foundation www.smithlemliopitz.org.

God has a plan, and I will pray for you all! God bless!

~M.

HI,
Have you taken your daughter to a speech pathologist or an occupational therapist? It sounds like she definitely needs services. TEIS could do an evaluation to see what she needs. All three of my children have disabilities, so I will help you any way I can. It sounds like you have a great attitude and it is SO great that you can be home with her.
J.

You might try introducing her to softer finger foods than grapes and apples, since it may be more of a texture thing than anything else. Cooked cubed carrots, potatoes (white or sweet) or over-cooked green beans may be more palatable for her, since she can mash them with her tongue. Once she gets used to mooshing those in her mouth, then you can try foods that need a little more hard-core chewing. I don't know what type of genetic d/o your child has, but I used to work at a developmental delay medical center and sometimes an adversion to food textures goes with different concerns.

Best of luck to you!!

K., great job in continuing to work with and guide her through the process. I agree that softer textures my help. It will give her more understanding as the softer foods breakdown faster. I also gave both of my little ones whipped yogurt. It is thick and airy enough to stick to the spoon so they can get to their mouths. IT is still extremely messy, but they do better with it than many other food items. You can probably do this with whipped potatoes and squash as well. I would definitely cube and boil carrots, potatoes, beans, squash till they are soft but still retain their shape. Dice up avocado, banana, mango,tofu, etc and roll in pulvarized graham crackers for easy pick up. Hope this helps.

Take her to a Dentist and make sure her teeth are ok.My nieces daughter was doing the same thing .

I would like to suggest looking into EFT. This tapping technique on acupressure points is easy and has done wonders with other developmentally delayed kids.

Here are some articles on EFT being used with kids:

http://www.emofree.com/Articles.aspx?id=9&p=1

That website has a free downloadable manual and www.tapping.com has a free cheat sheet they will provide if you sign up for their free newsletter.

Of course, I don't expect it to cure your daughter's delay. But it might help her to tap into her own potential. You said she does keep a bite in occasionally, so this might help her to do it more often.

K.,
First of all, don't beat yourself up. You are doing a great job with her. Do you have an OT involved with your daughter? Is the early intervention system providing her services? A really good OT can really help with feeding issues. Also, a nutritionist could be on your 'team' in the early intervention system and help you with food choices. If she's not in the EI system, I would talk with your pediatrician to see how to be referred in.
J.

Feeding issues are common with many children. Have you sought the help of a feeding therapist? Does your child see anyone for early intervention? There are many sensory/texture issues that can be a problem in your child not wanting to swallow. It will come with time, but a feeding therapist may help.

Tero

Is she receiving any physical or occupational therapy? My nephew (now 6) had issues from prematurity and wouldn't/couldn't eat on his own for a long time. Mostly the swallowing of anything solid at all. But he had lots of therapy that really helped. Now he is just PICKY and doesn't want anything, but he CAN eat if he wants something.

Just wondering...
A. B

hello my son has cerbal palsy and until he was 12yr i blended his food and i would sit and feed him beacuse he could not feed himself. i should aslo tell you he has feeding tube now. now for your child dont buy the baby food blend what you are having ans slowly add texture,also talk to doctor about occupational therapy evaluation could be something therapy can help with. i hope this helps you hang in there. and god bless you.

Have a tea party with your daughter's favorite dolls. You can even invite some stuffed animals and buy some of that plastic food. Try to pick out some stuff that you might like for her to eat. Let your daughter pretend to feed her friends. She can cook them a meal and serve it to them. You can them give her the real food and have them eat together. Hope this helps.

K.....hello. i had great success with those graduates...i know that they are not on the top of your list for nutrition...but it will only be for a short while to get your daughter chewing and crunching safely. it sounds like you are putting pressure on the situation, unintentionally...and with that will come resistance. she will sense that. just know that the graduates will be temporary and go for it..they have tons of fun flavors...banana our favorite. also, maybe step away from feeding for a meal or two...she will then be good and hungry. i take it she is drinking milk?? good luck. this is all temporary, remember that and to take deep breaths...she will figure it out when she is ready, for sure. L. from oak island, nc

Hi K.! I am sorry to hear you are having some problems with your daughter eating. It is never fun to worry about them is it. Have you looked into getting her into therapy? Such as Physical therapy and/or Occupational therapy. I was an early interventionist and worked with kids who had developmental delays and my own child has been in speech and the changes are phenomenal. Good Luck!