I have a daughter in Kindergarten who will be turning 6 in a month. She still has accidents almost every night so we have to keep her in pull ups. I am pregnant with our 2nd and due in September, and I really wanted to get her out of the pull ups before the baby comes, but there has been no progress. She rarely ever wakes up in the middle of the night to go. We have tried restricting her fluids to 1 to 2 hours before bedtime. We don't have dinner until around 6 or 7 most nights because we both work FT, and she goes to bed at 8. We let her have a drink with dinner and then that's it. She also goes potty before bedtime everynight.
She has since made friends at school, and the parents would love to have her over for sleep overs, but I am just affraid she will be made fun of. I know it isn't out of the ordinary to have a 6 year old child that wets the bed, but I would love any insight or advice you momma's have to give on the subject.
Thanks!
It's very normal! I wet the bed until I was 7, my older sister until she was 8, my little sister until she was 16! My 5 year old niece wets the bed too.
I know it's frustrating, but usually by age 7, most kids outgrow this.
Hello K.,
The famous Sarah Silverman, the comedian, tells about wetting the bed until she was 11. She also tells about throwing her night clothes away the morning after a sleep over. This is not uncommon, you just don't hear about it because society puts a lot of shame around the issue. If it truly is not a medical issue, keep with the pull-ups until she has better control over her body. Let her choose to go to sleep overs with a pair of pull-ups, she can tell her friends, "Sometimes I have accidents, no big deal." Children will accept a lot of ideas, why not accept this one?
Good luck,
Wendy
There is a developmental thing that happens in the brain at some point and suddenly they get a signal that tells them it's time to wake up and go potty. There is nothing you can do until that connection makes itself. It happens when it is ready, maybe at 2 maybe at 11. Restricting fluids only makes the urine stronger and therefore can increase the likelihood of UTI, waking them up only makes you tired and they go back to sleep, get relaxed and the urine flows out. Relax, get some sleep, buy some good pull ups and mattress pads. If you kids want to spend the night just make sure you tell the parent that they wear a pull up and that they sometimes have accidents. They will usually understand. If you don't want to do that then dress her for bed before you send her over.
You are not alone, I tend to think the ones that have kids that are potty trained at night are the ones alone...LOL. Constipation can be a cause of night time urination. Our Urologist said that was the first thing he checks kids for, the weight of the excess pooh presses on the bladder and it can't hold very much.
As she said before, they won't start college in pull ups. Just be patient.
She is NOT the only one.
Biologically, a child does not attain night-time dryness... until even 7 years old. Pediatricians say this also.
When my girl was in Kinder already, she was still having accidents. Normal. EVEN her Teachers said so, but the parents won't admit it. But they tell the Teachers. So they know.
It is about biological development... not her.
Don't compare her to the others, nor tell her even if you think it. It will give her hang-up and stress... and stress alone can make them worse. About it.
Just use night diapers, and a waterproof bedpad under her. That is what I do. I have 4 of them, from Amazon. No biggie. My girl is 7, and just the other night she had an accident in her sleep. No biggie. She just changes jammies, I put another bed pad under her, she goes back to sleep. I don't lecture her or limit fluids.
all the best,
Susan
If you have had her checked out be a urologist then the only 2 other things I know is diet changes, medication, and/or wait until she grows out of it...I did at 13, my son at 13 like so many in my family.
K.,
This is nothing to worry about. She will do it when her body is ready, it is a maturity issue, not a training issue and there is little you can do to move it along. Relax, even if she has a sleep over and wears these, it is very likely that she will find that a few of her friends are too. We found this to be the case through age 8 or even 9, and our daughter was most definetly not alone.
M.
Hi K.,
My son is 9, and he did not start staying dry until about a year ago. We bought him the pull-ups for the bigger kids, and he would pee almost every night. I stressed over this for a while, but realized that he would just have to stop wetting in his time, and he did. He will still have an occasional accident, but we have a mattress protector on his bed now and it works great for the nights when he does have an accident.
I'm sure you'll get all kinds of rude and judgemental comments from moms who think that there is a generic protocol for raising kids, but each one is very different. Don't worry-she will grow out of it eventually. Just let her know that it's not a big deal, and she will likely be done sooner than you think. As far as sleepovers, she could discreetly put her pull up on in the bathroom, and no one would have to know. Good luck to you.
K.
My son was in pull ups at night till he was almost 8. You might want her dry before the baby comes, but it's common to have some regression when a sibling comes along. She won't be going to collage in pull ups.
My daughter turned 6 last March and is still in pull ups. We are in the middle of a streak of dry nights, we've had 3 in a row!! If she goes 5 nights we try it without the pull up.
My daughter hasn't been invited to a sleepover yet, but I think I would just make sure she can put the pull up on by herself in the bathroom and that she has 2 piece PJ's instead of a nightgown so it's not as likely to be seen. And then send a ziploc bag she can put it into when she changes in the morning and stuff it in her bag. All of this, IF she is embarassed about it, if she doesn't care then I wouldn't say anything about it.
Good luck,
K.
I don't have any advice. Just wanted to say you're not alone. My 5 yr old girl wears pull ups and most mornings it's soaked. We've tried not allowing her to drink after 6pm, and she always pees right before bed, and still....? I know it's frustrating, and we don't want our precious girls to be made fun of. I feel your pain.
This is not something that can be trained, you just have to wait until her body matures more. Sometimes they can give medicine to try to help, you can ask her doctor about it. The average age to out grow this is between 2 and 7 years, but for some kids it happens late, my cousin was 12.
Hi K., She's probably not the only one in her class with this problem. If you guys are having dinner at 6 or 7 and you are giving her something to drink and she goes to bed at 8, that's not good. Try moving her bed time to 9:00 and see if this helps. older children who wet the bed, could be lazzyness, scared to get up at night, my son who is now 23 starting waking up dry every morning by 17 1/2 months old, and he and my son had a bathroom in their bed room, with a night light so it made it very easy for them to get up, but when we moved from Chula Vista to Murphy Cayon when he was 3 my boys didn't have a bathroom in their room anymore, and he started wetting the bed at night it was frustrating cause he was dry in the mornings at such a young age. But latter I found out he was scared to get up and leave his room, so his big brother who was 5 at the time started getting up with him, and problem was solved. Just try different things, cause I;m sure she would rather be dry in the mornings.
This is VERY common, especially with BOYS! My son just FINALLY became reliably night time dry when he was around 9! And it is totally normal. He is just a very very heavy sleeper. He talks in his sleep fairly regularly and always has. Does your daughter do that? She may just be a really heavy sleeper as well.
What I tried to do was 1) push liquids throughout the day (so that there was no last minute feelings of thirst from being slightly dehydrated throughout the day). 2) Make absolutely certain that she uses the bathrooom JUST before lights out. 3) When she has been sleeping soundly for about 2-3 hours, gently wake her enough to get her to the bathroom and have her use it again. (she will go right back to sleep with no bedtime issues, and probably won't even remember it in the morning). You might want to tell her ahead of time that you are going to wake her to use the potty during the night.
When I woke my son and took him to the bathroom after he had been asleep for awhile, it really made a difference. I don't know the solution about sleep overs... my son never really went on any at friends' houses until he was closer to 8. Until then it was mostly with family... and I was comfortable enough to fill them in on "things" if I wasn't going to be there to wake him.
Just be very careful not to make her feel bad about it. It happens! Teach her what to do when it does happen (put her wet things in the bathtub, wet a washcloth and clean herself up, get dry clothes on, come get you if necessary, etc).
Pull ups work for sleepovers. Just teach her to put them on right before bed - discreetly - and remove immediately upon waking. No one will prob notice.
Good luck :)
My completely normal, very healthy daughter is 10 and shows no signs of being able to stay dry through the night. If this is the worst thing we have to deal with, I say we're blessed. I've tried almost all the suggestions except drugs and punishments and read a ton. We'll just wait it out....
i went through this with my oldest as well. still soaking wet every night at 6 years old.
his doctor suggested trying a bedwetting alarm. i was very skeptical, but decided to try it - especially since he was asking for sleepovers. i bought a Malem alarm (and a 'starter kit that included mattress overlays and a book) from bedwettingstore.com. it was about $135. best money i ever spent. he was completely dry in less than 6 weeks. i hightly recommend it!
Have you tried waking her up before you go to bed for the night, to have her go to the bathroom one more time?
Our daughter had to use Good Nights due to a side effect from her medication and she was 8-11yrs old. She could not wake up at all
on her own. The one thing that we found helped is if we woke her up
before we retired.
Otherwise there is the bell & pad method but she seems a bit young still.
Some kids just take a bit longer to really be there. =-)
Good luck , K..
T.
My doc said "as long as you put the pull up on them, they will never start to wake up and go to the potty on their own." I started leaving my 2 year olds off at night and he did just fine, he will wake up if he has to go potty now.
I really don't hink that everybody can go by that, no child is the same. I would try to get her up and go potty right before YOU go to bed and see how she does with that.
Good Luck!!! :)
every child is different!
my youngest is 3 and still uses them
my middle one was done by 4
my oldest was in them in 2nd grade-and i bougt an alarm, and it worked!
Have you tried exploring food allergies? Often a food allergy can lead to issues with elimination. Hope that helps, and thought I would suggest checking out EC (Elimination Communication) for your baby. It may help prevent a similar situation. www.ez-ec.com or diaperfreebaby.org
As always, doublecheck with your pediatrician if you are concerned and make sure there are no underlying physical issues. Otherwise, I agree with the other mamas that it's just something that you have to wait out. I also agree that restricting liquids just causes dehydration and has no affect on nighttime dryness.
My daughter is almost 5 and I have seen no change in her ability to stay dry while she is sleeping, so expect that she will be late to develop the capability. At her request, I have let her try sleeping in undies. She sleeps so soundly that she wets in her undies and doesn't wake up. I don't think that wearing pull-ups is delaying the capability.
With regards to peers, this is just one of the very many things that kids achieve at different developmental rates. I would suggest that she be honest and not embarrassed about it with her friends. But, if she is, there are now nighttime options that look more like underwear.
Have you talked to her doctor about it? There are some medical issues that can cause older kids and people in general to wet the bed -and there are some psychological ones that can make it happen too. Some people just have a problem with it for some time during their childhoods. The comedianne and actress Sarah Silverman has just released a book with something about bedwetting in the title because evidently she did it until her teens!
I didn't wet my bed a lot, but I had some genetic bladder and urethra issues, and I do remember wetting the bed even as an older girl.
I would probably take away the pull-ups, because they provide a safety net that she knows that she can use. Perhaps just knowing that it is not there would help. My son still has the occasional accident also, and he is 6. On days when he has an accident, he can't play video games, so that gives him an incentive to remember to get up and go potty. Other than that, just remind her to go potty before bedtime, if she starts fidgeting in her sleep, ask her if she needs to go, and maybe by the end of her 6th year she will have mastered this. Good luck!
My daughter is almost 8 - and just stopped wearing pull ups to bed about 6 months ago. I helped her in a way at first, I set MY alarm around 12am-1am every night and woke her up to go to the bathroom. She was so tired and is such a heavy sleeper that she didn't even remember me getting her up. She was practically sleep walking to the bathroom. Needless to say, that schedule got old with me real quick! I gradually stopped doing that. Now, she may have an accident once a month or every few weeks.
