Daughter's Clothing Issues

Hi. Maybe she would prefer to wear the underwear inside-out. Maybe the stitching is bothering her. I remember my mom suggesting that to me when I was 10 and it worked. I'm happy to report that I'm now wearing my underwear correctly. :0)

Hi S.;

Please let her pediatrician doctor about this panty issue because this is odd for 10 yrs old. The key is find out what makes her feel this way. Ask the doctor to have her recommended to see physchogist to analyzed her about this issue because this is unsual behavior. Good luck.

A.

Perhaps there are underwear out there made similar to tights. I don't know, but if she is willing to wear the tights perhaps she would wear boy’s boxers, especially the more form fitted style that look like a pair of tights made into cut off shorts. It's worth a try. Also, if it has become a power struggle with her regarding wearing them (you'd be surprised some children latch on to that which mortifies MOM with out fully understanding what they feel (powerful) when they do so.) So if it is a power struggle, perhaps giving her a $20 taking her shopping and asking her to please find a pair of underwear she could comfortably wear might work. Also, sometimes it helps me when I pull back from letting my daughter know how much something she is doing upsets or startles me. (My daughter is nine and the minute she knows something scares me or makes me uneasy she’s all over it, not because she wants it simply because she gains pleasure in knowing she can reduce me to such a point. I don't judge her for this it is simply her need to feel powerful and being that she is my youngest I guess she needs that. My blood pressure on the other hand...well that's another story.) Will she wear a bathing suit bikini bottom instead? I hope this helps.

Try boy short underwear . Its as if she is wearing shorts and not underwear.

What are her reasons for not liking them? Have you let her try different styles? She might not be comfortable in the ones she's got. It can make a world of difference.

Ok, maybe totally not that appropriate for a 10 year old, but maybe she's afraid of panty-lines. Kids get some wierd ideas in their heads from TV and magazines. Anyway, my point is, if that's something she's worried about, how about offering her some thong underwear. It's still covering her privates, but just not the bum. It may seem extreme, but at least she'd have some on. I agree with the other moms, in asking her why they bother her, and offering to let her pick some out. Good luck!

I did this to my Mom from age 8 to 12 or 13. I was a tomboy and hated underwear. I was also prone to yeast infections so the girly panties would drive me crazy. So she bought me 100% cotton lined bike shorts and little boy knit boxers. I was happy with them. I didn't wear skirts much but I'm sure the panties would drive me nuts, tights with cotton crouches on the other hand sound like a great alternative. I would really try and get a solid answer as to why the underwear bother her. As a kid I didn't know what a yeast infection was and though there was something seriously wrong with me. I ended up lying to my mom that my ankle hurt and needed to see the doctor. I was then able to talk to my doctor about it. He took a look and that was the end of a LONG battle with itchy panties. Try not to take it personal that your preteen isn't sharing her reasons why but try to get her to tell someone. Doctor, school nurse, Pastor's wife, etc...I hope this is helpful. Blessings

Do her underwear bother her in some way (too tight? itchy? etc?) ? Have you tried letting her pick out "special" underwear in a store? Maybe if she could choose some "special" underwear on her own she'd feel better about wearing them. If that doesn't work, I'd give her options (maybe boxer shorts, tight bike shorts or tights) and just have several things she can choose from. The biggest key (in my opinion) is not to make too big a deal about it. As long as she's not flashing people in public it probably doesn't really matter, does it? The more you make it a big deal, the more likely she will resist. It's probably just a phase, and it will pass.

Oh heaven's to betsy.
I have to agree, your daughter does *not* need counseling.
It is also no reflection on you whatever her choices are. Let her make those choices.
She will suffer no lasting harm from not wearing underwear.
I also do not wear underwear. They are uncomfortable, make me sweat (even cotton) and I just don't like them.
I haven't worn underwear since I was 13. I'm 39 now.
I have not been damaged by this.
What are your reasons for insisting she have extra layers of clothing on her genitalia and buttocks?
If she wears clean clothes every day, and doesn't mind tights under her skirts, I really see no issue.
My own 9 year old daughter goes back and forth with the underwear wearing. I don't bother her about it, just insist on shorts or undies when she wears skirts for privacy issues. She points out that I don't always wear undies with skirts. It's a good point. My counter is that I no longer climb trees or play on the jungle gym on a regular basis.
Hope you can come to resolution without conflict.

Peer pressure should solve this, you are right to want to feel less bothered about this issue. The first time a fellow student sees her uncovered tush, and makes a statement outloud, she will probably cover it up. Case solved.
E.

Perhaps you should find out from her what exactly is bothering her about underwear. It is possible that she is prone to yeast and itchy. There is probably some reason she isn't able to communicate to you or she feels weird discussing it. I am sure she is aware how odd it looks when she only wears them on her thigh under her clothes which leads me to believe she is really uncomfortable. Try to get to the root of the problem without making her feel bad. If there is no medical problem after talking to her and your pediatrician... let it go. Be sure her tights are thick if she wears a skirt and her pants are probably plenty of protection. My daughter too was a yeasty baby and in early years had yeast issues. Her underwear bothered her too. I don't think she is being defiant. I also don't believe she needs to go to a therapist.Good luck.

You might consider having her in couseling with a good child counselor. She sounds like she has some anger issues around the clothing and won't let you know what they are. She may not be able to verbalize them. I has some of the same issues with my baby son and the couselor talked to him about those issues and that particular issue got resolved when he talked to me about it. Without the counselor's help he probably would not have talked to me about it. The counselor is a child psychriatrist.

Hello!
Maybe try bringing her to the store to have HER pick out some cute undies?!? There are different kinds out there. Like boxer kind or u know like the lil shorts 4 girls. I know with my daughter if she dose not have a choice then its never anything she wants. Wish you luck!!
K.

Dear S. L.

Compromise with your daughter. If she is wearing shorts or pants, no panties. If she is wearing a skirt or a dress without tights, then she has to wear underwear.
I am a mother of two 21 and 18. I am a stay at home mom.

Take Care

T. N.

Ah yes, and so it is started at an early age. You need to work together with your daughter to find SOMETHING that will cover her bottom. Germs, - boys - la, la, la, and so on, have given females a good reason to wear under panties. Also, other kids will find out this quirk of hers and tease until she cries and feels shame. You do not want that to happen.

There are boy's tight 'shorts' that I understand some girls like to wear - they go further down on the thigh than regular female panties, maybe that would be more comfortable for her. But, you do need to work together to find what she will wear, or she will just put on her panties, go down the street, take them off and so on and so forth. You need to get a good 'contract' going between the two of you. Force will not accomplish this one. Be strong and be loving and communicate. A contract is where you do something for me and I do something for you and we agree to work together.

C. N.

C. N.

Hi S.! I teach kids this age. You should be bothered. This seems an exceedingly strange quirk, and one that could cause her much embarrassment at school eventually--she is getting close to puberty. I would explain to your daughter that we wear underwear because it is unsanitary and inappropriate not to wear them (at least most of the time--children don't need to know the difference). Then I would make her wear them, and make her wear them correctly, whether she wanted to or not.

Have you asked her why she doesn't like to wear underwear, and why she would choose to wear them in such and uncomfortable way? Maybe she needs a more comfortable style or fabric.

Let her air out, when she gets a little older she'll want to wear them. Maybe she hasn't found ones that are comfortable for her. Alot of people don't like underwear, and they are perfectly healthy people. Don't sweat the small stuff. Just wait til she's a teenager, this will seem like nothing.

My niece had this same issue. Turns out she had a mild case of sensory integration disorder. The feeling of the underwear so close to her skin bothered her. If that's not the problem, then I agree with the poster who said to take her shopping and let her pick out underwear that she thinks will be comfortable and stylish. Skipping underwear at this delicate age is not an option, in my opinion. Good luck to you both!