Daughter's First GYN Visit

I don't have a daughter, but I remember my first visit.

First of all, my parents were super open about everything, so I had a really clear understanding of how the body worked and periods, etc.

I had very rough periods with lots of cramping, so I had my first gyn visit at age 15 or 16. My mom got a referral from her ob/gyn for a teen friendly one. She was very nice and fairly young. She met with my mom and I together and then asked if she could meet with my separately.

I wasn't sexually active, nor would I be for a loooong time to come, so I didn't have anything to share, nor did I need to ask any questions.

I took birth control for a long time to control my periods and I know my dad picked them up for me....sometimes with me. You can imagine the looks he got from the pharmacy staff.

Be very open about what to expect. I have never loved going to the gyn...especially the exam part. I would get on line or get a book that talks about anatomy....a lot of women don't know their anatomy until after they are pregnant, and then even then some don't! :)

Make a fun day of it. Go to the appt and then have a girl's day out. This is a big deal and signals the end of childhood on some level. I would honor that and spend some time with her woman to woman.

Ok it has been a while but what I remember the most is before anything I sat them down and had a heart to heart explaining what would happen at the doctor's office in details--I told them how it might feel (based on my experience which were fairly easy--no problems to deal with then). When we went I asked if they wanted me in the room or just the nurse. I did tell them that if they wanted me outside I could wait right by the door if they want or in the waiting room. Oh yeah I think we went for ice cream after the visit was done. The big thing is be truthful and as much detail as you can give for then there are no surprizes. Sometimes that is the hardest for "kids" to take. (No matter how old they are--they are still our kids!) My mom is 86 and I am 60--I am still her kid and she lets me know it! :-)

So long ago I forgot - My dad took me for my first visit I was 14 or 15 and had horrible periods. I remember him sitting next to me in the waiting room with all these women, taking to me and making sure I was not nervous. Thanks for the memory of what a wonderful man my dad is.

L.

I will post this from MY point of view...kudos to you for taking her to a visit at all. My mother NEVER even discussed menstral cycles with me. I actually remember my teenage friends going to the "Dr"...I vowed that I would NEVER do that to my DD. She is three now, but I have already begun explaining where urine comes from and poop. Probably in a few years, it will be WHY our breast are enlarging and WHY we are cramping and bleeding. Lastly, it will be how we have sex and why its ok to have time alone. I feel sorry for girls who had Moms like mine. Dont get me wrong, she wasnt a bad mother, just one from the stone age.
My advice...talk to her, inform her, tell her WHAT is going to happen. AND, everything will be OK...and all women do the same thing...its normal.
Never be ashamed of your body or your bodies feelings.

Hi Theresa
You don't really say how old, or if there are issues. I went when I was 12, actually I was in the hospital with severe bleeding issues. The internal was horrendous. Of course it was I was so young.
God bless you
Hope you get some better responses.

My mom had to take me to the GYN when I was in HS because I was having some pain and we couldn't figure out what it was. I was really scared because at that age you are just so self concious. I was also worried that it would hurt a lot as I wasn't sexually active. The dr was wonderful. She showed me all of the speculums - this one is for women who are large and/or have had babies, this one is for average women, and this one is what we are using on you...it was sooooo tiny! She explained everything she was going to do, and it really wasn't that bad.

I guess the key is to find a dr who is going to take their time and talk with your daughter.

Good luck!

Curious why the gyne visit? You don't mention your daughter's age. A pap smear is recommended at age 21 or three years after the first time she has sex, whichever is soonest. If she desires birth control pills or has an issue, she can of course be seen before that but does not require a pap smear or a pelvic exam unless indicated by whatever issue she is having.

Be sure to find the right provider. As a nurse midwife I have treated many patients who have had rough, inappropriate exams as young women and are very nervous into adulthod. Make sure what is being done is consistent with guidelines (what I am trying to say is many providers will subject a young girl to an unnecessary pelvic exam or pap smear because they can bill for it).

Thanks for posting this question. I'd like to follow up with when do moms think it is the right age for the first visit? I think I was 16, but nowadays girls start their cycles so much earlier.

I don't know the answer to that. I have a 15 yr old and we communicate a lot. It is crucial with a relationship. I believe in being totally honest, I always have and always will.

I was out of college when I had my first gyn visit. I went by myself with no idea of what to expect.

I vowed to always talk to my daughter if I had one and not worry if I was embarrassed to talk about something or not. My daughter is priority.

I'd definitely recommend going to an adolescent OB/GYN. My OB/GYN happens to be an adolescent specialist as well as a fantastic regular ole' OB/GYN and I know that one day, I will bring my daughter to her. I've heard that the younger that you start, the less likely that she will need an internal exam done. So at, let's say, 15. If she were to go it would likely be just a discussion (assuming that she is not sexually active or has any issues that may require a look/see). I know that adolescent OB/GYNs may/may not talk with mom in the room and then they will kick you out to have a private discussion with your daughter. Good luck!!