Daughter Who Just Misses the Birthday Cutoff to Turn 5...

I used to teach kindergarten, and all I can say is that it won't hurt your daughter a bit to not start early. Maybe right now the other school thinks she can handle it, but what about down the road. She would always be younger than everyone else in her class. She won't be able to drive a car when her classmates can when she gets older. She won't be able to join her classmates when they require older admissions. Think about the future not just now. Remember, she will only be this age once. My son was at the same stage when he was a youngster, his birthday is early October. I am so glad that he stayed with his class, because the classes before his and after his were not the same caliber of students that his classmates were. I would just say look to the future and weigh all the pros and cons before you leap into this. Good luck.

I agree with those who say don't push her. My first two children have October birthdays. One of them was reading well before he started kindergarten. Academically they would have been fine to start early. Now that one is in HS and one ready to start middle school, I know they are right where they need to be. Let them be children and don't push them. When they are older they will be with many children their own age and you will be glad.

Do lots of things with her at home to keep her interested in learning!

You are lucky that she is so bright and you will not have the problems of having to tutor her or help her as she advances in school.

My daughter missed the cut off in kindergarten by two weeks! I found a private school, enrolled her, then took her back out in the middle of the year. She was ready academically, socially, etc., but it was all day kindergarten and she was exhausted! As someone else said, you have no idea when missing that extra year might rear it's ugly head during her school career.

And I'll tell you this: the way schools are today, that extra year of maturity will be a blessing when she's a teenager. You can stimulate their little brains academically all you want but only age brings the maturity they need to deal with the pressures of being a teen in today's sexed up, drugged up world.

That daughter I'm talking about is 19 now and moving out this week. It seems like yesterday! But I saw no ill effects from that extra year and there were times that she had a hard enough time dealing with something...if she'd been a year younger than her classmates it could have been worse.

Don't rush them to grow up...it happens way to fast as it is.

My son missed the cutoff by 3 days. But I decided to take that extra year to spend enjoying having him home. You can still work with your daughter at home, but why be in a rush to send her to school? She'll be there the next 12+ years. Let her have one more year at home with you.

You are right, there are "no exceptions" in these cases for the cut off age to start school. Stop fretting over this. If she is this advanced, she will be eligible for advanced (sometimes called RLC or AP) classes in school, even in elementary schools. She might be able to skip a grade but we had a friend whose child did this in 2nd grade and they hated it when she reached high school because the older children were MUCH more mature than she was and it caused problems. Let her relax and enjoy being at the top of her class. You could get her involved in local or community school courses in addition to what she is required to do in class. Trust me, she won't be bored. It sounds as though you're rushing her to grow up too soon. Let her enjoy being 4 and what will it really matter if she gets to play some extra time in a day school. She will start school soon enough and be busy, busy. Enjoy these years, they pass too quickly.

You did not say if you were a stay at home mom. Don't be in such a hurry to send her to school. They have to go for so many years as it is. I chose to keep my daughter at home as opposed to going to Pre-.I more or less home schooled her that year. I just felt like four was too young to send her. Remember, if they go to Pre-K, they are in school for 14 years. Now, if they want to go to college, you are looking at another 4 to 8 years, depending on what they want to do. That is a total of at least 18 years being educated. No wonder so many kids get tired of school. Samantha is now 12, 6th grade and an honor student. Is your daughter in daycare or a school setting? If she can continue at the same school, why don't they just bump her up a level until she is the right age for public school? Samantha was so ready for kindergarden, but her age was not. She cried to get on the bus with all the other kids. Once we got started into doing our own school work at home, she really enjoyed that year. I even got her a used desk from our local school. I already had kids that had been in school, so I pretty much knew the school schedule. We even did school lunch with a tray and nap time. It became learning and fun at the same time. Her social skills were not affected at all. Those just got better when she started public school.
Enjoy her while you can, those years pass so quickly. I am so glad I had that year with Samantha. It is such a precious and learning age for each of you.

Good Luck Let us know how it turns out
S. MIller

I work in the school system and there are few expections to the rule. The Oklahoma State Law says they have to be 5 by September 1 to go to Kindergarten. There is a IQ test that can be taken but it costs a lot of money and most schools can't afford it. I am not sure what it is or how much it is, I have just heard the test talked about. Other wise your hands are tied and so are the schools by the State Law.

You need to look at the long-term implication of this. As she becomes a preteen, her friends will be hitting puberty ahead of her. As she becomes a teen, others will be getting driver's liscense, dating, etc... before you want her too. You will find that many parents choose to hold their children back now. She'll be off to college at 17. Many activities you sign up for will place her in age groups (sports, etc..) and she won't be with her grade level friends. There will be lots of kids in K that are already 6 or soon turning 6. My daughter has a July bday and is always the youngest kid in her class. (she is doing great, but I wouldn't want her to be any younger) During the year, other kids will be celebrating their 6th and 7th bday and she will be turning 5.

What do you do? Look around for other preschool programs. Maybe something that has a totally different curriculum. Is there a private school nearby? They can make exceptions and she may be able to do a mix schedule of preK and K. Or look for other options in the community. Can she take art classes? or science classes at the zoo? Once kids are in school, the first couple years are reading and math centered. Anything else that you can do to provide balance or another type of learning would be great exposure.

Once she is in school, (probably in 1st grade, but maybe before) they can test her for the gifted program. Once again, it is not a race to push her through the grades, but rather a way to expand her learning. Our gifted program focuses on critical thinking skills, problem solving, creativity, and special projects. All great ways to expand her mind.

(I don't recommend it, but it may be possible to pay for private school kindergarten this year and transfer her to public school as a 1st grader the following year.)

My son turned 5 the first week in June (almost 20 yrs. ago). He could have gone to Kdgn. that fall. But, I , was the one to hold him back. He was very smart and ready- in all ways. But with him being the second child- I realized - "what is the hurry?" I put him in a Pre-K. program and let him mature that extra year- while being a kid a little longer. He was 6 when he started Kdgn. - just like some kids turn 6 a month or 2 after starting Kdgn.- he turned 6 a month or 2 before. No biggie to me. We got to spend more time together and he got to enjoy life before all that curriculum- a little longer. Those are days I never regret. Because - even tho you always here people say it- you never get that time back. You are at the age and stage in Motherhood that you are so busy living life that is goes right past- fast. You WILL look back and say- she was still so young- what was my hurry. Thats my opinion and experience anyway. Good luck. Enjoy them while you have them. J.

It will depend on the school area and what they will allow but it is wroth a try. Also if you can not get here in , is it possable to do a little homeschooling with her. She can work at her own level that way. The local support group with have outing if you are worry about her being with other kids.

As a Kindergarten teacher and a mother of one who barely makes the cutoff age, I would highly recommend holding her back. My dd was 3 when she started a K4 program and 4 when she actually started Kindergarten. The only reason I took her to K4 when I did was that I thought she would be able to do 2 years of Kindergarten before starting first grade. Situations changed and she ended up only doing one year of Kindergarten. She was one of the top in her Kindergarten class and first grade has been different. She has done fine with reading, but math is our struggle. I am actually going to supplement some of the math this S. so that she is ready for 2nd grade math.

As a Kindergarten teacher, I feel like the cutoff should be even earlier than September 1. We have some children that are almost 6 when school starts and some that are still 4. Maturity level makes a huge difference. Some parents think that their child is brilliant because everything is so easy for them in K, but the fact is that they are just really ready for Kindergarten. If your child will truly excel, it will show up in 2nd grade.

My advice is be patient and let her just be a child for a while. There are so many options for you right now. You could send her to another K4 program that uses a different curriculum or you could homeschool her. I would rather wait and not have any struggles in school than push her too much at this point and have problems later on.

I had the same problem myself when I was a child. I wasn't able to start kindergarten until I was almost 6. It amazed the principal when I told him that it was an insult to my intelligence to make me wait. Yes, my mother took me to the school to 'prove' my readiness!

Did it hurt me to wait? No, it didn't. It won't hurt your child, either. Let her repeat the curriculum she had from before, but add to it just a bit at home. You can buy some wonderful workbooks for kids of all grades, and it sounds like you should go ahead and buy a kindergarten workbook for her. She can do two pages a day when she gets home from her preschool. Make sure you limit her, or she will rush through it and you will need to buy another, more advanced book!

Trust me when I say that many, many children are in the same boat as your daughter. Yes, she is smart and special, especially to you, but there are a lot of others who are as smart as she is and who are also going to have to wait. Just telling it like it is. My own children are both A honor roll students. When it is summer, they each get one of those workbooks I mentioned - for the grade they will be in when summer is over. That keeps them from getting too awfully bored (they are at home with me), plus not only keeps them sharp, but gives them a leg up on next grade level. They are only allowed to do 2 pages a day...

You might check with some of the private schools in your area. Most of them will make the exception if the child is ready. Good luck.

I have a 9 1/2 y/o daughter and a 3 1/2 yo daughter. With both of them I have faced the same issue because they were both born in December. Little girls are so smart! :) For the older one I enrolled her in a pre-k program with the private school she is now attending. Her first year she went 3 days a week and her second she went 5 days. The 3 1/2 y/o will be going to a local pre-k program off campus this year and attend the private school pre-k program next year. In Louisiana, there is a public school pre-k program also, which my 4 y/o son attended this past school year and he will go to the private school pre-k in the fall. I have had the opposite problem with him. Look into all the other pre-k programs in your area. I was very fortunate to know a pre-k teacher in the public school system that my son attended. She gave the best advice and was the best teacher we have ever had!

i would seek out charter and private schools that would be willing to make an exception. montessouri school sounds like the place for her. if she's advancing so quickly with a little guidance, then she could probably really thrive in that kind of curriculum.

barring that, if you can't find anything. then do your best to stimulate her at home taking lessons to higher levels and relating her curriculum at school to more advanced or hands on applications and projects. you could probablly find some good ideas on homeschooling and teacher support websites.

My daughter is graduating kindergarten next week. She was tested allowed to start last fall although she would not have been 5 until after the cut off. She attended a private school and has done wonderful! (I am so very proud of her.) She will be changing schools this year; and we have discussed with the school she will be going to to ensure that she will be able to be moved in the 1st grade-and she will-this will be a public school. I don't know if this is normal or if we just got lucky, but either way, we are very happy with our decision to go with our instincts and move her on when we knew she was ready. Go with your feelings on this, you know your daughter...if you can't get her in to public school this year and can afford it, try the private schools in your area. Ipersonally believe that you will be glad you did.

I have a son who will turn 6 in July. We waited to start him in Kindergarten until this coming year. It was the best decision we could have made. I could tell within only a week of the previous school year starting that we made the right decision. Yes I'm afraid he might be bored this next year but maturity wise it was the best deision.

I started school when I was 4 (Sept birthday). I did fine in school but looking back I wonder how much better i would have done if my parents would have kept me back socially. My friends were hardly ever my age and I was always a follower. Luckily that didn't get me in trouble but could see how it could have easily.

When we were making our decision we asked a lot of people and we never once her them say it was a bad decision to wait until the following year. We only heard regrets of starting them to early.

I know it's different for each child but in my opinion they are only little once and I think we try and rush them to grow up.

Don't do it! I know right now it feels like the right thing to do but when she hits Jr High you will be thinking why did I start her so early?? I am a Mom of 4 and I did not have this problem BUT a lot of my friends did and the ones that started their kids early lived to regret it... Even though she seems ready now when Jr High comes you will wish she was back a year. The mature level is just not there for them or you.
Mom of 4 ... 3 out of college.

You're in the best position to evaluate whether she's ready and what would be the best thing for her. I say if you truly believe she is ready, and are not worried that you're just pushing her because you want her to, get her into the private school or do what you need to in order to get her in somewhere learning new things...I was the youngest (started kindergarten at 4 yrs also), and still am generally, but driving etc. was never that big of a deal. My birthday is December 30, so I was substantially younger and barely missed the drop dead cutoff where no exceptions were available which was 12/31. I firmly believe it was the best thing for me, and if your daughter is truly ready, it will be for her too. I think kids learn early on to love learning, and even if she's not truly ready to move up, I would think that repeating the same curriculum would be extremely boring for her and would be detrimental to her attitude about school. Even if you can't get her in to kindergarten somewhere because of a no exception policy, maybe consider whether yo can get her into a different preschool or do something so it's at least a new learning experience for her.

I am glad you spoke on this. I have two kids that were born in September and my daughter is now in the 6th grade but she has a friend that is a day younger than her and she is in the 7th. We found out that her mother changed her date of birth on her birth certificate to September the first which is the cut off day and the child has made it almost all the way through school and it has never been noticed. My daughter asked me why I didn't do her like that I told her that some people actually follow the rules. I would be just the one to get caught trying to break the rules. My son is now just going to Pre K when he really should be getting ready for Kindergarten in my opinion. He will be 4 in September and he knows his alphabets, numbers , colors, shapes and much more. He still has 2years in headstart before he will actually go to school and I really don't see him learning much there because he already knows all the things they have to teach for that age group. To me that is holding our kids behind. There should be some type of test or something to determine if those children that birthday fall after September 1 should be advanced forward with their age group. Well that's just my opinion. If you come up with something to get past this crazy rule please let me know. The rule use to be all birthdays before January 1 in Alabama where I went to school but they also changed their rule years ago to September 1.

I have been hearing several parents feel the pain that
you are going thru as we all want the ultimate for our
children. Sometimes we only see things from 'right where we
are'. Try to project yourself down the road...to her
being the first in her class, the leader, and also not
getting out of school to young. The best thing is it is
almost like you are getting an extra year with her. I have
watched it both ways and the ones who wait never regret it..but the ones who push ahead may just make up the time
later. If she is in the same program as last year they
will probably use her as the helper and she will feel
really comfortable. This will all add to her confidence.
Many times school is not just about grades but it will
be more about how can they apply the skills that they learn.
ONe of those is that there are rules in life and we go
by those guidelines or we are always having to have exceptions to the rules.
Just as a comfort....I have been hearing several moms
feeling the same pains that you are I guess we are all just
anxious, aren't we?

C., As an educator and more importantly, as a parent, I am recommending that you wait. She may be ready now both socially and academically but the social aspect of it will catch up to her around 5th, 6th or 7th grade depending on her maturity. I have seen so many parents who make the painful decision to hold their child back a year when they are between 10-12 years old and it is because they are falling behind their peers in the maturity area. These kids were doing excellent with the school work, some of them were even in advanced placement classes but suddenly their friends all seemed so much more mature than they were and they really struggled to maintain friendships even with those kids they had gone to school with all their lives. I don't doubt for one second that your daughter can do the work and excell at it but my biggest fear is the teen years. When they have so much they have to deal with as teenagers any little extra edge they can get to help them deal with it all can really help them to make the smart choices they need to make.

I faced the same issue with my daughter because she had a birthday right at the cut off date and I am so thrilled that I waited. We put her in a year of private kindergarten and then followed it up with regular kindergarten the next year at our public school and she has done great. We did not even look at her private kindergarten as "real school" because we knew we were going to send her again in the fall but it was a way to keep her challenged and the school change in the fall kept her from being left behind her other friends when they progressed to 1st grade. There are so many ways to make sure your child is being challenged academically and if you have a good teacher she will work with you to explore your options and keep learning fresh and fun for her.

You also have to think about issues such as driving and dating yikes!!), etc.....everyone will be doing these things way before your daughter and it will be very frustrating for her. These are HUGE events for teenagers. When she hits puberty everything changes and she would be much more capable of handling all the teen stress and issues if she had that extra year under her belt. My daughter is now 16 and I really wish I could have kept her back a few more years because I am still not ready for all these issues and the thought of her going off to college in a few years totally freaks me out...LOL!!!

If you want to do some research on the subject go to Google and type in "red shirt kindergarten" and it will bring up a lot of pros and cons that might help you make your decision. Here are a few to get you started:

http://www.family-life.us/news.php?viewStory=181

http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,959029,0...

http://www.ketv.com/education/10299290/detail.html

Good luck....your daughter is lucky to have a caring mom like you!!

Hi C.,
I can identify with you. My oldest daughter was in the same situation and I tried like the dickens to get the school to let her in with no success. So then I ordered "Hooked on Phonics" and started taking her to the library, signed her up for the story time, and various other fun preschool programs and before you know it we ere home-schooling! Later when she went to public school, I hated everything about it. From overworked stressed out teachers who overlooked her potential to all the bad habits she picked up. Finally when she was in the 6th grade, and I had four other kids too, I just started home-schooling all of them. It's been wonderful, and if I could go back, I'd never put any of them in public school.
My oldest daughter is 20 now, when she was 16 she went to the Adult Education center and signed up for the GED classes, took them for about a month and graduated with honors. The next fall she was enrolled in Ouachita Tech with a scholarship. So thats just my experience, but if her education is important to you, then my advice is to go with it and stay involved. But don't expect it to matter much to the schools, or anyone else, she's your child- but she's only their "job".

If you can afford it, send her to a private school!! Public Schools typically won't make exceptions (and they have their reasons) but many private schools will. My sister started school at 4 (only a month before she turned 5) in a christian based K-8 school since the public schools strictly enforced their September 1st cutoff date. Good luck!!

I have two sons ages 6 and 3, and this situation applies to them. My oldest is in K5, and he was ready academically, but not socially, so I was glad he had the extra year because he still had some social issues. I think your best bet is private school if you can afford it. Good luck.

C.,

I feel like I am reading my own story. My son has an October birthday. I was SO frustrated that he couldn't start kindergarten before he was 5. He was smart. He was reading. I KNEW he was ready but couldn't convince the schools - even a private school.

What a blessing that turned out to be! He may not have started school when I wanted, but he sure FINISHED at EXACTLY the right time. I wouldn't have wanted him to start college at 17 -- funny how our perspective changes :-)

So I encourage you to try and look at the whole picture - not just today. And realize you're still a great mom with a great kid even if he start kindergarten later!

I was in the same situation with my son not to long ago. I had to finally break down and find the finances by sacrificing in other areas and send him to a private school. Some will take them early and some will not. If you are near Dothan...Crossroads Baptist Academy will take them early and their tution is one of the least expensive (another plus!). I now have had him in public school two years but he is so ahead of them that next year we are sending him back to a private school.

Hello C., Sorry for the late reply, PC problems & it took me until now to find your request. I had a similar d1lemma... my daughter's bd is 10/26, we had her IQ tested when she was 4.5, she is now 9.5 going into the 4th grd & A Honor Roll 2yrs. All the people I spoke with back then said to let her just be a kid as long as possible and not to push her into anything early. Both my husband 11/11 & I 9/6 were held back & I can tell you from our experiences, it was for the best. As for the boredom & same curriculum... We all get bored sometimes and she'll excel just fine. Think Positive and God Bless! C. C.

I am the mother of 5 grown married children, 19 grandchildren, and was a school teacher for many years.
Children grow up so fast these days. My feeling is why push them to grow up. Let them be children. Even when it seems they are ready for school at an early age, they do better if they wait that extra year.
There are all kinds of things that you can do with your child at home that year to help them grow intellectually...go ahead and teach them all kinds of things from your home...but over all they will do better if you wait that year to start them in school...We did that and are soooo glad. We've seen others who went ahead and put them in school and the parents regretted it later.

I'm so glad you posted this request. My daughter is 3 1/2 her birthday is October 9 and I have been trying to decide what to about Kindergarten, she's very smart and I know they won't make exception in our school district. I've considered home schooling for K, but then you have a battle getting her in 1st grade. I've thought about private schools, but we just can't afford it right now. I've thought about sending her to a good pre-school that year so she won't get bored in the program she's in right now-it's a church progam 2 days per week, so no accrediation or certified teaching. She loves it, she's very social and is in the class ahead of where she should be according to the b-day cutoff. Her teachers have told me she has no problem keeping up, but she's little so she gets picked on a little bit. I have also considered just letting her go there an extra year and not fighting it. I hate for her to miss out on Kindergarten, that's when they learn how to go to school and learn about show-and-tell and recess and other really cool stuff! I just have to be a really good mommy and keep her congnitively stimulated. I am so glad to know I am not alone here. I've been interested in reading all responses! I'm lucky, I have another year to decide, good luck with your decision! Let us know!!

Hey C., my parents started me early (Bday 9/22) and we started my son early (bday 10/25) put her in a private school until she finishes 1st grade, then they have to take her into public school as a 2nd grader....good luck, R.

Don't be in a hurry to send your child off to school. It is better to be the oldest in the class (and not from having been held back a grade) than to be the youngest! Know this for a fact!

Older means more mature, bigger, brain is still growing

Younger means less able to sit, less mature, smaller, brain is still growing but certainly hasn't had that "extra" year!

Read to your child, have your own "school" at home for short periods of time -- coloring, knowing colors, easy numbers....

My son should have started school a year later -- but, I too, was in a hurry for the next step of parenting/childhood to move along. He struggled his way through each grade -- I didn't think he'd graduate high school, much less get through college. (He did, but only by the grace of God, some good teachers, and an exhaustive search for just the right college!)

He's finally beginning to blossom, but he's 26!

Good luck,
M.

Hi C.,
I have to agree with Carol C. on this. Speaking from experience, my daughter was 4.5 starting Kindergarten. I listened to the preassesment screeners, teachers, counselors, preschool teachers and let her start. My gut feeling was to wait another year. I should have done that. She did not catch up socially until middle school, then I dealt with puberty. Most girls in her class started puberty, she was almost 1.5 yr behind them on that. Dating...highschool...omg...she wanted to be like everyone else...it was a difficult time really. Long story short she ended up graduating a year early because we were moving out of state, she graduated high school at 16. I had her take a year off before starting college, that was just too much for a 16 year old girl and ME!!!
Don't push! There's more than just learning at school. From what I've seen Kindergartner's learning...my goodness my kids learned this stuff in 1st and 2nd grade. I'm truely amazed at what 5 year olds are learning now. My grandaughter can read most any books, does math, adding, subtraction and small times tables. She's learned about the bones and names in the body. It's truely amazing. I doubt that your daughter will be bored when she starts school. The only problem I see at this point is keeping her little brain active this next year. Good Luck!

I know that this can be a difficult situation to deal with, but I will point out several different perspectives. I taught school for 10 years before I had my own children. Teaching has made me a completely different parent than I would have originally been. One thing to think about is how your daughter will feel when she is not old enough (or perhaps tall enough) to participate in the activities that her friends are enjoying. This will follow her through High School (think drivers licence, etc.) I have a late August birthday and experienced this first hand - November will be worse. I have a cousin that is very bright and talented. She has a November birthday. She started school early (it was easier to do in those days) and did quite well academically and seemed to have plenty of friends. It seemed like she was in a hurry to get through life. Finally she hit the wall in college and took a year off. It was almost like her own way of letting others catch up. She is fine now, but it seemed to some of us that pushing her forward was not the best thing for her. If your daughter will repeat the same curriculum in her present school, maybe you can check into other programs that will allow for enrichment. Repeating some of the same things will just build her confidence. At this age there is no limit on the reading skills and levels that she can be introduced to. If your child has a good teacher, being "bored" should not be a problem. That is an excuse much used, but rarely is the actual problem. I have three daughers with birthdays ranging from December 1 to April 6. The December first child (she is likely just a few weeks different from your child) is very bright, spoke early in complete sentences with advanced vocabulary. She makes friends easily and plays well with others. Her teachers comment on how advanced she is. I don't want rush her through life. In my opinion, I think it is best to slow down and enjoy your time with your child. You can give her the gift of time and the ability to be a leader in her class. When it comes to peer pressure (especially in a few years) it is much easier to stand up to those that are the same age and a little younger than those that are older. A parent can give their children any "extra" challenge that they need. Good luck and if you don't have a choice, focus on the positive things that this will bring to your child. Trust me, your child is aware of your dilemma and it is up to you to frame it for her as a positive thing that will have the best possible outcome. Children mirror their parents feelings quite well.

I am in the same boat. My daughter's birthday is just 2 weeks past the Sept 1st cutoff, so she'll start pre-K this fall as a 4 year old, but will turn 5 - 2 weeks later. I'm not in Alabama anymore, but the same rules apply in Oklahoma.

We've been advised that she is functioning academically as a 1st grader, and is emotionally on the same level. One of the private schools I consulted said they'd place her according to ability, rather than age, but the only other option I have (which was suggested to me by the public school) is to put her in the school at the college that is for gifted and talented children. (they would accept her based on the psyc consult) I would definitely do that, if it was an option, but the tuition is the same as if she were attending college! We're stuck.

Hope you find a solution! (I haven't yet)

Unfortunately I doubt you will be able to send her to kindergarten. If they make an exception for one they have to do it for others.

My daughter's birthday is in December. She is also at the top of her class, and has shown signs of being bored. The preschool even called the school, sent her papers to show she is advanced, etc. Nope, they were not going to do it.

So she spent an extra year in preschool, and yes she got very bored. Her preschool teacher gave her advanced projects and work to keep her busy.

She even told me that Raeann will probably be very bored in Kindergarten. LOL!

The school has rules that they have to abide by. I don't agree with it, but I do see their point with the cut off date.

T.
http://www.wellnessiseasy.com

It sounds like you have been blessed with a wonderful, healthy, bright little girl. enjoy her at each stage of life and don't push her to be what she isn't. Yes, she is academically , social and emotionally ready for kindergarten, but, will she be physically and emotionally ready for high school? probably not, she will be 13 going to class with BOYS as old as 18 and 19. in Oklahoma you can go to regular high school all the way to 21. And while she is ready for kindergarten at 4 years 9 months. Is she ready for college 500 miles away at 17 years 9 months. My Darling hubby and I are both summer birthdays and both where academically excellent. ( darling hubby is a PHD). We both where less mature than our counterparts in high school and early college. Thoses wheren't boys asking me out but MEN. DO you want your 17 year old baby in class with 25 to 30 year old men who think she is HOT?.
Spend this year with her. You could homeschool, send her to a differet private kindergarten etc. What a great year you could have together. Explain to her that this is a gift, a year of adventure before she goes off to 12 years of academic learning. You are given a gift of teaching her the things you want her to know. What a blessing that would be. GOod Luck

I have 2 boys who just miss the cutoff with October b-days. I know exactly how you feel. I have one who is graduating pre-k this year who is at the top of his class and his tesachers say that he might should skip kindergarten. I've been told by some that there are no exceptions and then some say that it is up to the pricipal of the school they attend. If you really feel that she shouldn't wait I would definetely press the issue. You are your child's main teacher so you know better than anyone what she is capable of. They can do prepardness tests to see how she tests. When pre-k started at the beginning of the year my son was 4 and tested on a 6 year old level. He is now 5 and end of the year tests show that he is testing on a 7 year old level. And will be in a class next year with 5 year olds. We are going to do kindergarten but will have him tested to at the end of the year next year to see if needs to skip 1st grade. I am a 26 year old mother of 4 and was wondering if I was the only parent dealing with this same issue. Thank you.

I am from Oklahoma and I have a friend who went through this very same thing. Her son was in the preK class but missed the deadline to begin Kindergarten at the same time as my son. After fighting with our school she called the state school board about it and they had him take an assesment test to see where he ranked. He scored very high, even higher than some of the children starting Kindergarten. They told my friend that Kindergarten was not a required grade and that he could go if she wanted him to go. They overroad our school district and she won. He did very well in Kindergarten and when it came time to go to first grade she had to fight them again. It was an ugly battle but she did win it. Our school had made the comment that they dont get funded for children who are not old enough for Kindergarten. Not sure if that is true but they sure did not like it when he was able to go and move on up each year. She has since moved to another district and has had no problem with them about his age. He is now in the 8th grade. I was his preschool teacher and he was more than ready to start school where some of the children in my class who were old enough to go to Kindergarten were not ready. I am not sure what your education laws are where you live but I would check and see. Our school told her they dont make exceptions either but they had to in her case. They also thought he would not do well and that he would have to repeat it again which is not what happened. Not sure if this helps but it did happen in my neck of the woods and she has been the only parent I know of who took it that far here. Most parents just take what the school says and leaves it at that.

You might condsider a private school, if funds allow. Most private schools are going to be more willing to work with the needs of an individual child. Also you might consider homeschooling if your situation allows. I just finished homeschooling my daughter in her kindergarten year and am very happy i did. It allowed me the freedom to cover subjects at the pace she needed, whether it was fast or slow. Good luck with whatever your decision!

You will probably have to do private school for the first year of school. Usually once they are past that initial year the public school will just test them to make sure they are ready for the next year and not question the age. I have a friend in GA who is doing that now with his son.

Hi C.,
Just wanted to give you something to think about. As a mother of girls ages 22, 12 and 9 who are in AP and GRC classes and just about to graduate college with an art degree, I implore you to wait! Not wait on her grasping onto life and learning, but on pushing her ahead in school. My girls' b'days are in Dec., Jan. and Sept. They have friends who have started school early and it really catches up with them around junior high. Because so many boys are held back, if you put them in early they end up with boys in their grade that are almost two years older than them. I just don't think you can compensate for that developmental gap and there are so many things you can do now to keep your child from being bored - extra classes in music, language, art, activities from the internet, getting involved with a team of some sort (this will give you an idea too of how socially prepared she is). It is sometimes a good skill to learn that we have to do some work that really doesn't excite us every moment, but we have to do it anyway. I wish you the best with your wonderful child and keep on enjoying her. Time will pass so quickly!

IN the state of Alabama students must be 5 years of age on by September 1 to enter into Kindergarten and The Age of 6 by September 1 to enter 1st grade. So even if you child goes to kindegarten in a private school they woul be unabloe to enter back into public school ahead of their age group until they are going into 2nd grade. The only exception to this policy is if your child comes from another state where kindergarten is mandatory and here in Alabama kindergarten is notmadatory.My daughter turned 5 this last october I did have hopes for her to have been in school but his last year homehas been so enjoyable and she has grown so much to where she is now ready to take on the world.

I agree with the others, if you really want it you'll have to look at local private schools, many districts will let them start if they completed kindergarten, others she'll have to complete 1st grade too. My daughter just barely makes the cut-off and while I was encouraged to hold her back, I'm glad I didn't. She's just completed 1st grade, is the youngest in her class, and has straight A's in academics and behavior.

M. and Amara 8/25/01

Is private kindergarten an option? I've found that they tend to be a little more "lenient" in bending the rules if you have a child that is ready for school but doesn't fit the typical guidelines. Once she's been through kindergarten then any school should accept her - just a thought. On the other hand, my daughter was in the same situation and we did hold her back - she did fine too and in some cases handled things better than our youngest daughter who is an Aug. 29 birthday. Good Luck!

The cut-off in our school system is September 1 and my daughter barely made it with an August 25 birthday. I went ahead and sent her, although it is very common here to hold kids with "late" birthdays (July and August) and have them start the next year. My daughter was also academically and socially strong - clearly ready to go. She did very well in kindergarten and all the way until 3rd grade where there seemed to be a gap between her classmates and her as far as maturity. Many of the kids in her class are at least a year older than she and their ability to focus on their work and to multi-task was apparently better-developed. By 4th grade, she has "caught up" but I anticipate other years when we will see these developmental gaps. My son also has an August birthday and will be 5 this fall. We have decided to compromise and put him in a private half-day kindergarten this year and then "repeat" kindergarten the following year in our public school. With only one exception, everyone that I have spoken to about kids with late birthdays (couselors, teachers, parents) has recommended waiting to start them in school, not because of struggles they may have in the early years, but because of struggles later in their school career.

I hope this helps. And remember - once she goes to school, she really won't be your "baby" any more. School makes them grow up in so many ways. Enjoy one more year with her at home.

It sounds like home schooling would be another great option for such a bright young girl. If she passes all of the tests at the end of the year (and I'm sure she will), she can go on to the first grade.

If you can't take the time off from work or are not a stay-at-home mom, perhaps you could find someone who is already home schooling who could take her on as well, and you could make some arrangement (payment, or trade some kind of service).

If that is not a possibility, maybe you could find some other kind of program for her, where she won't be learning everything twice, but she will enjoy and benefit so much from some other kind of very enriching, fun and joyful experience. Maybe there is a Montessori school in the area, or she could go to a pre-school that focuses on nature-based learning, or she could take language, music, art or dance lessons...? If you and she put your heads together to creatively achieve a sort of curriculum of all her own, of sorts, this could be the best outcome of all!

Have fun!
L.

Have you thought of private school for a year? If she has a year of Kindergarten under her belt the school you have been talking to might take her next year if she has actually already finished a year of kindergarten. I had the same trouble with my Son 33 years ago. He was so far past all the kids his age and was getting bored with it that I sent him to private school for a year and he was able to the transfer to public school after that. I realize this is a 33 year old solution, but it might work for you too.

C.
Age limits are set for a reason. If you push your child and she is not ready things will back fire. I am a Teacher and some parents think that their children are so smart, but at 4 1/2 repeating the curriculum and have the teachers up their lesson for her will help in the long run. I have seen where parents have gotten the school to put their child in the first grade and skip Kindergarten and by the time they got to second the child was totally lost and therefore got behind, and repeated the second grade and if she is really that smart when she gets to Kindergarten the Teacher will see this and talk to you about going to the first grade. Leave her where she is at,let her be a little kid for a little longer, they grow up way to fast anyway.

There are always options to homeschool her and teach her at home. That is what we choose to do with our very intellegent 5yr old he will be 6 in June and He is on a 1st/2nd grade level and is excelling very quickly. There are some states that even offer a kindergarten waiver form so that way you can teach at home the year of kindergarten then start in the first grade. Just check all of your options before you make a life choice for your child.

Hi C.,
I am a an early childhood teacher with 16 years of experience. As for your daughter, I would not push for her to start to school. Although she is advanced academically and socially for her chronological age, it will not hurt her to wait until next year to begin school. You seem like a very good and observant parent. Continue to do activites with her such as reading to her, exposing her to new experiences, taking her for new adventures. These will keep her interest high and increase her imagination. Don't push her to read, which I see so many parents do. Let her just work with her letters and numbers. Even though she may know them, give her time to work and explore with them. Pushing a child to read too soon can cause difficulty later. They must go through each of the learning processes, just like stepping stones. If she begins school now, she will probably do wonderfully now and for the next several years. Then, several years down the road, she may begin experiencing some struggles with academics or social/emotional issues (when peers are older than her). She might be just fine, but why take the risk. Enjoy another year with her before she begins school. It gives you more time to expose her to the world by spending time with her and going on adventures together. (Walks through the park looking for bugs or different kinds of leaves, cooking together in the kitchen, reading wonderful children's books to her, playing with her toys with her, playing make-believe with her dolls with her, drawing or painting on blank sheets of paper to increase her imagination...) And stop worrying! Many parents have this same concern. She will be just fine, and possibly, perform even better that if she begins now. As far as boredom, a good teacher will make sure all of the students are challenged in the classroom. And in thinking long term, if she graduates from high school when she is 17 years old, will she be mature enough to go away to college and handle the challenges of the world. Do you think that being 18 years old (almost 19) would be so much more beneficial for her? And I am sure, it would be much easier for you, as her mother. Hope this helps.

C.
You might want to check with your local church schools. My 14 yr old was the same way but her birthday was not till dec. So I enrolled her in a church school. I had to pay a small tuition, but it was well worth it. She got to start school that year than on to public school for 1st grade.

P.

My daughter is the same way. Her birthday is September 4. She was the oldest in her K4 class this year and will always be in all her classes. I was happy it fell that way, (I even worried about it when I was pregnant with here HA) I didn't want her to be the baby of the class and possibly fall behind. K4 went well, the only problem she had was a few k3 girls that were "bullies", they were just pushy and Gracie didn't want to talk back to them because they turned into "tattle tails" once someone stood up to them! I don't really have any advice but if it were me I wouldn't push putting her into kindergarten this year. I don't know your whole situation but you know what they say "they are only young once". I hope you find peace and your daughter is happy in whatever you decide!