Daughter Won't Eat

Start her with soups, jellos and soft foods for awhile, and then start slipping in some solids. Tell her to eat slowly and small bites and to chew very good. Don't try to force her as it will only scare her more. Just go slow. Try junior baby food for awhile. Good luck.

I had that problem with my daughter when she was young.

Not eating can create a form of anorexia. That is lack of thiamin will cause people to not want to eat. The also lack salt by not eating. Salt transports thiamin into the bloodstream. What I did was to give her soda crackers throughout the day. She started eating again.

Not eating can also cause a potassium deficiency, which can be dangerous.

Annother thing you could do is make her milk shakes and put fresh fruit in them. Bananas would be good since they are loaded with potassium.

In 2006, I had a stroke and couldn't swallow right. I was taught to 1st CLEAR MY THROAT; 2nd put my chin down; 3rd take a drink of water with my chin down. Lifting the chin high when you drink causes both passages, the wind and stomach passages to open, hence food and even water can go doen the wrong throat. Teach her that way and she may feel she can safely swallow.

Hi J.,
As someone who has a tendency to develop phobias (birds - I was attacked by one in the 4th grade) and anything having to do with veins (blood draw where they dug around and lost my vein), I have to wonder if Taylor has developed a phobia. I'm not sure if four year-olds get them, but my mom has a phobia of feathers, and she cannot recall when it started. Apparently she was quite young. If you, your husband, or another close relative has anxiety issues, Taylor's chances are higher of this happening. As a kid, I was super brave. Even after I developed these phobias, nothing else scared me at all. Phobias are compartmentalized anxieties, basically. For whatever reason, I reacted to certain traumas (though not being bitten by a dog -- love the dogs!) by developing phobias. Phobias are not rational. For example, I know a blood draw is no big thing. People have them all the time. However, no amount of rational thought seems to eliminate the phobias completely (I am better than I was), and I have sought professional help for my phobias. You need to keep nourishing your child until she is able to eat solids again, and I think the smoothie ideas are brilliant. You are not coddling her by giving her her milk and water if she is truly afraid (i.e., not seeking attention), and I can easily see how choking on something could cause a legitimate fear. Fear and phobias are not rational; it's not her fault, and certainly you have not done anything to cause this. IMO, you should seek a child behaviorist. The longer her anxiety goes untreated, the more entrenched I fear it will be (based on my personal experience). It's the old get back on the horse thing, except that I'm sure it was nearly impossible to get her to eat another piece of food right after she choked. My son started choking on a dried cranberry once (couldn't breathe, etc.), and I wasn't about to give him another one right afterwards! I was pretty freaked out myself! There are several ways to address phobias, and a professional will help you figure out the right one. A popular approach to work the edge of someone's anxiety to desensitize her. I'm not sure how you would do this w/ food, but, for example, with my bird phobia, someone might start w/ a bird in a cage at some distance. Over time, that distance would become smaller. Then perhaps a bird with clipped wings (I hate the clipped wings thing, but wings flapping around my head is what gives me the most fear) that's not in a cage could be placed at some distance and moved closer each few days after I'm comfortable with it at the current distance. Maybe you could make a thin smoothie and every few days make it a bit thicker, even incorporating crushed ice. Your daughter might not equate ice with food, and you could show her how quickly ice melts and how, therefore, she won't choke on it. In the meantime, Pediasure, while full of sugar, might be a good addition to her diet to make sure she is getting the nutrients she needs. You could also have her hold a piece of solid food, knowing that she is in no way expected to eat it.(If that's too much, the food could just be on the table at first.) Exposing her to solids in a non-threatening way might help. However, please keep in mind that my suggestions are based on being a highly educated patient (I've done a lot of research on this topic), not a professional. As someone who has phobias, I highly recommend getting a referral to a ped behaviorist. It can't hurt, right? I know some people might find it difficult to admit that his/her kid needs to see a behaviorist, but there is absolutely no shame in this. I am not ashamed of seeking professional help for my phobias. I cannot help how my brain is wired, but I needed to take responsibility and do something about it. If someone else has an issue with that, too bad. The same goes for your daughter. She went through something very scary and cannot help how she feels about it. Please do not unintentionally "punish" her by forcing her to try to eat solids. With help, I'm sure she will eat them again soon. You can read more about phobias on the National Institute of Mental Health website, www.nimh.nih.gov, and other sites, too. I'll be sending good thoughts your way and wish you the best!
K.

Dear J.,
This happens. Believe me.
When I was little, my mom put rutabaga in stew and I was violently ill that night. I had the flu, but I was convinced it was the rutabaga. I know it's irrational, but I'm 45 and there has never been a rutabaga in my house. I'm the same way with creamed corn. I can't even bear to look at a can of it.
I was really pretty little when I choked on a taco from Taco Bell. It scared the living daylights out of me. From then on, I refused to eat anything from Taco Bell or any tacos, even home-made soft ones. Period. For years.
Unlike rutabagas and creamed corn, I did get over my fear of tacos eventually and went right back to loving them.
My daughter went through a phase of refusing to eat broccoli because she found a green worm on it. So, I didn't make her eat broccoli, but she had to eat everything else as usual. (She's 21 now and could not LIVE without broccoli).
You didn't mention what it was she choked on. You can talk to her about how scary that was for her and you won't make her eat it again if she doesn't want to. But, she has to eat other things. Take her grocery shopping with you. The store is full of a million things that won't make her choke. Applesauce, yogurt, mashed potatoes, fruit, bananas, rice, steamed veggies. Let her help choose some things the likes and thinks are safe. Then tell her she gets to choose, but when it's time to eat it, she has to eat it.
I've said this before, children will not let themselves starve. The milk and water thing will only last so long because her tummy will be bugging her for food. Just try to get some things in her and get her confidence built back up. She may be afraid of what she choked on for a long time. But there are tons of other wonderful food choices she can enjoy.

Good luck!

Hi J.,

Poor thing :( it's hard when things like that happen when you are little because you can end up taking it into the rest of your life (she may end up never eating what she choked on again) but with a little time, I'm sure she go back to eating solid foods.

You might try things like puddings and soups and mashed potatoes. Peanut butter and jelly is good, she can get lots of protein that way. With the chunkier soups you can drop them in a food processor or blender first to knock out the bigger chunks. You might want to give her Pediasure to make sure she gets all her vitamins until she gets past the fear of eating.

Or you can try cutting her food into super small pieces. Everything could be finger food for her. You could make it into a game, like every meal is a party. I'm sure after awhile she'll get past the fear, it will just take some patience and lots of love, which I'm sure you give her every minute of every day so that'll be easy :)

Hopefully this helps :)

It might not be a bad idea to take her to the pediatrician to make sure she does not have a problem physiologically or chemically (vitamin or mineral deficiency.) If there are no physiological or chemical problems, then hopefully time will take care of it.

In the meantime, try puddings (warm works well), baby foods, various types of shakes, fruit sauces, jello, mashed potates, yams and bannanas. Then maybe you can graduate to soups, oatmeal, etc. until she gradually begins to eat normally.

Making an issue of it might only cement the behavioral fear. Making a game of finding "no-choke" foods for her, and letting her get involved might also help. "Taylor's blue ribbon prize list" that everyone gets to vote on at the table maybe? It might take her mind of her fear by being fun for her.

Will be praying all works out well!

Milk shakes through some fruit into a blinder and she can still drink it

You might want to try blending her food. My bet is that she'll get tired of the smooth texture and will go to solids shortly after. If not, you can blend, but gradually increase the solid texture. It will probably feel like you're reverting to the infant years, but sometimes I think kids want to have their feelings validated (which I'm sure you're doing verbally, and following up with actions might help overcome her fears). It sounds like this was a very traumatic experience for your daughter, so spoiling her for a while won't be a bad thing, especially if you feel like this is unusual behavior for her. On the other hand, if you think she's a drama queen you might want to address that as a separate issue after you get her over her choaking fears.

I would first get her to a doctor to make sure there is no obstruction in her esophagus or throat that is causing this reaction. It could also be acid reflux which, to a child, can feel and look like choking.

If she has none of the above, you have to come up with a game or something that makes her chew her food a specific number of times.

She must have more than milk and water and you have to make this happen. You are the Momma and what you say goes. She is also old enough to play "let's make a deal". If she controls this situation at age 4, you don't want to know what lies ahead. Besides, her health ia in danger. If she hasn't eaten in several weeks, her energy is probably going way down.

Go to the doctor and go now.

God bless and good luck.

I had the same thing happen with my daughter when she was young. She choked on a piece of cantelope and I had to dislodge it with a thump on the back. The whole thing frightened her out of eating. I was at my wits end when my sister came to visit and said I can get her to eat. She used things she knew my daughter would eat like bananas, peanut butter and chocolate and. She put them in the blender with ice cream and milk and a coulple of tespoons of carnation instant breakfast powder for more niutrients and it worked, She loved the flavor and was so hunger she wanted to eat and it was easy because she didn't have to chew and swallow. Then I would leave little bowls of goldfish, pretzels laying around and finally she got over the fear forgot all about it. Good luck. I wish you luck.
L. S

Hi J.. Your daughter WILL get hungry and eat. Explain to her the importance of thoroughly chewing her food. How about a little drawing of her head and neck and showing a tube from her mouth down her throat so that she can see how the food goes down and that it has to be thoroughly chewed. She can start out with teeny bites with you watching her at first so she will be confident that you are there if anything were to happen. Also remind her of the millions of people eating and not choking. I think that would help her understand the importance of eating slowing and chewing her food well. I would hope that with time she would understand that all is well again.

Try cream soups and mushy foods until she gets past it. That's a very scary experience. My daughter had that happen, she choked on popcorn. Luckily for me, she only stopped eating popcorn for about 6 months. She still ate other things. The mush should work, and she'll work it out on her own. Good luck, C.

Hi J.-
How about soft foods like applesauce and mashed potatoes? Maybe move to small bits of rice and vegetables. Your daughter is probably scared. She fears choking on her food. Let her know she can't choke on her applesauce or her mash, and encourage her to maybe try one new food every week. Have her chew it slowly in very small bites. Maybe go to mac and cheese next. Add some protein, like peanut butter, and add some veggies like zucchini. If that fails, but she'll eat the mash, you can always grind veggies up in her mash (carrots are awesome).
Lastly, she needs to overcome her fear. She is so desperate to not have that happen again she is causing herself harm. Assure her ability to eat normal food, and let her know that while her fear is legitimate, you need her to be willing to work with you to keep her healthy and happy.
Communicate with her in a way that lets her know that you understand her fear, but that the only way for her to beat it is to face it. Bravery is not the absence of fear. It is action, facing the issue, and coming up with a way to challenge it. The best thing, if she is willing, is to try softer foods at first, and again, SMALL bites, SLOW chews.ANd move on from there. Baby steps.
Good luck!

Hi,

You may be able to seek some help from an Occupational Therapist who specializes in feeding issues. I have a friend who had to do this with her son and it has helped tremendously. Ask your pediatrician for help in finding someone in your area.

Good Luck. I know it must be frustrating and worrisome.

A.

Smoothies could be a great first step to getting your daughter eating again. You can make it as thin or thick as you think she can handle and use fortified ingredients to make sure she's getting the nutrition she needs. I'd start with a base of Little Einstein's Milk (made by Stremick's Heritage Farms). It is rBST hormone free and is enriched with omega-3 DHA for brain and eye development. Then throw in her favorite frozen fruit and some protein powder. Maybe taking her shopping with you or letting her help make it would get her more excited about drinking it. My kids love the Little Einsteins and they think they are getting a treat when we buy the Little Einstein's milk.

Good luck!

My friends daughter is doing that. I've been making her smoothies. I put protien powder, yogurt, milk and any fruit I have in the house.

J.,
I would try giving her things like applesauce, and or baby food if necessary. Or things that she can hold in her mouth that disolve like cheerios. Then at least she can get some sort of nutrients.
W.

Try smoothies that you make in the blender with bananas, strawberries, other fruits, fruit juice, etc. and believe it or not a little bit of cabbage for fiber (You can't taste it.). This will help get her nutrient intake balanced and her caloric intake higher. Try to get her to eat yogurt, cottage cheese, pudding, mashed potatoes, apple sauce, and other easy to eat foods and slowly introduce others. Good luck.

Jackie

Hi J.--

Speaking as someone in treatment for an anxiety disorder, I'm a bit concerned that having her just drink milk or water or smoothies is reinforcing her fear that food is dangerous.

I would find a therapist who treats anxiety disorders in children and explain the situation. In my case, avoiding the feared situation makes the fear get larger. I think you could benefit from an expert to get out of this loop.

Good luck!
L.

wow. the same exact thing happened to my (then) five-year-old daughter. I actually had to do the Heimlich on her after she choked on ice from a drink!

She would not believe me that it was okay to eat again. I finally took her to the doctor, who told her it was okay. The dr. suggested to her that she gradually increase the thickness of what she was eating.

She agreed to try a milkshake. There was a fast food place across from the dr. office. When she saw the signs in the window for the chicken stars, she asked for those. She scarfed them up after being hungry for a few days. Everything went well and she didn't have any more problems.

I just saw your msg. Hopefully you already had the problem solved.

Good luck.

As one who has lived through this, I understand the frustration on both sides, yours and hers.

Acknowledge her concern and offer reassurances and advise. The first being sit while she eats...no talking, laughing, or playing. Also chin down when she swallows as it helps the food move down more effectively.

Offer thick creamy soups, applesauce, and pureed foods. Gradually increase the chunkiness of the food.Eventually, she'll be back to regular food. Offer graham crackers she can dip in her milk.It will take time....weeks to months.

The key will be keeping her healthy and not hungry.