Daughter Won't Let Me Cut Her Fingernails

Updated on August 17, 2009
B.B. asks from Kensington, MD
12 answers

My daughter's nails get really long and dirty because she is scared of having them cut. I have gotten her to have a manicure professionally but I cant afford that for a 7 year old all the time! She won't even let me file them. I am embarrassed that people think I dont take care of my daughter. any ideas welcomed...

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So What Happened?

Thanks for all the great advice... I made a manicure station and soaked her hands, then put on lotion and helped her cut her nails a little bit so they are not very short but are clean. Then we painted them and her toenails. It was very special and Emily said that she felt relaxed. And we talked about how she needs to keep her nails nice and clean. I think it was a positive experience for her and she won't be so scared from now on... I will try to do this again shortly so she relates having her nails done to something calming.

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F.B.

answers from Kansas City on

either she cleans them and files them with supervision, or I do, that's all there is to it. My niece tried this and she thought she wouldn't and then I couldn't hold her down and do it, crazy. I just started collecting prized possession (psp, computer, phone) until she sat willingly or she did it herself with me watching. Worked like a charm. No TV until they do it also works usually within a day or so!

Good luck

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K.F.

answers from Washington DC on

I would tell her either she does it or I do it - I have not had this problem, but when we started cutting back on manicures, I bought her her own manicure set and let her choose from my fingernail polishes, and I give myself a mani/pedi at the same time as a fun activity....that may inspire her to do it...she is old enough to file her own nails...and it comes down to you're the parent and she's the child, so she shouldn't have that much choice in the situation. My husband said to tell her it's either you cutting her nails or cutting her fingers off...a little fear goes a long way - of course he's joking. :P

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N.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi B.,
My son used to be that way, and we would have to cut them in his sleep. But it was kind of dangerous, because he would move about.

He is only a toddler, but I have a game of calling it "mani-pedi" time, or time for a "manicure." For some reason, this special name makes him willing to sit still and get his nails clipped. It also helps if he is watching a favorite tv show at the same time!!

Your daughter is old enough to explain to her about hygiene and to let her know that Susy, her friend, clips her nails, and that you want to keep them neat and clean so she can be proud of her appearance. Some 7-year-olds are very conscious of appearance, and others are not. In any case, it can't hurt to be honest and explain to her why it's better to have trimmed and clean nails, and maybe set up a "home manicure" station, where you can both take some time to soak your nails and pamper yourselves!

Nessa

C.B.

answers from Washington DC on

I agree. Do it in her sleep.

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E.T.

answers from Washington DC on

At 7 she could be doing it herself. Otherwise, filing them will take a little longer, but will get the job done without any nipped fingers.

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D.K.

answers from Washington DC on

If she's 7, she can definitely be doing this for herself. At 7, she shouldn't be giving you a hard time about this. She's old enough to understand that it's necessary and she's old enough to understand that you will not hurt her. If she can't or won't do it herself, then tell her that she has no choice, you're going to have to do it, but you'll just cut them short (not all of the way) and then file them down the rest of the way, which should be less threatening.

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N.L.

answers from Washington DC on

Do it while she is asleep.

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T.H.

answers from Norfolk on

let her do them herself. does she watch you do them? or do them while she's asleep.

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M.L.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi B.! I had the same problem, but my daughter was younger at the time. I would cut a nail and then give her a piece of pez candy or a smartie. However, at 7 yrs. old, it's a different story. Have you ever tried having your own manicure/pedicure within your home. You could be the manicurist. You could give her an invitation for a free manicure/pedicure. Maybe even let her invite a friend (I wouldn't do it all of the time, but the first time). You know, to make it fun and special. Serve them cookies and juicy juice (no sugar added - healthy drink) or their favorite snack. Play soothing music. Bottom line, make it as appealing as you can. You could even give each other a manicure. You might even find that this would be a great bonding tool. Hope this helps! Best of luck!

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J.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

Can you get it done while she is sleeping?

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S.M.

answers from Washington DC on

Let her do it herself? With guidance of course.

Also, my daughter (5) likes to use the baby's nail clippers, because I told her that they are designed so it is difficult to cut or pinch the baby. Can you buy her a pair like that - let her pick them out.

If my daughter gets squeamish, I also point out to her that if she catches a nail and it rips, it will hurt a lot more, and short is better. I also, tell her that dirty nails have germs and she will get sick if her hands are dirty.

All that said, this is one of the things (personal care) that is not optional. Tell her she can't do "X" until she gets her nails clipped.

Have you actually explained ot her about how nails are different from skin and don't have nerve endings, etc? She may be scared of cutting them because she doesn't get it. I know that's why some kids hate haircuts.

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A.M.

answers from New York on

when she's asleep is really the best time.

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