Daughter Wont Sleep and Has Bad Attitude Problems

Well, when you don't get enough sleep don't you get in a bad mood? It's very common when the body isn't rested. Take her to the doctor. She could have an underlying condition such as ADHD (like my son) or some sleep apnea..something that makes her anxious to sleep. Good luck

Sorry C.. I disagree with the doctor. It is time for another opinion. Good luck.

L.

maybe she is having night terrors

Hi C.,

My daughter went through a similar phase around 2 1/2. The attitude is definitely from the lack of sleep. The only thing I did was leave her in her bed. She would get but I would put her right back in. After she had gotten out more than three times, I would remove the nightlight which left her in absolute darkness. She would cry for a while and then fall asleep. On the nights she would stay in the bed she would usually talk or sing herself to sleep. But in the morning there was a price to be paid because she was very cranky. I started putting her to bed earlier. I thought that the screams were an indication of night terrors but within a couple of months everything was back to normal. The only problem is when you have a preschooler who won't sleep two months feels like an eternity. I hope this was helpful or at least comforting to know that you're not the only one.

She probably has the bad attitude because she isn't getting enough sleep. We had a similar situation (although much more extreme) with our daughter when she came to live with us from foster care. She was also 3 1/2 at the time. We had extenuating circumstances as far as sleep goes, but a solid sleep routine, warm bath before bed with lavendar scented products, insistance on a substantial nap (at least 2 hours) until she was able to sleep longer at night, more physical activity, and Benadryl about a 1/2 hour before bedtime all helped at different times. We even had to put a camera in her room to make sure she was trying to sleep because she could be yawning and exhausted, but would still not let herself sleep. Now she will still have trouble getting to sleep some nights, especially if it hasn't been a particularly active day. She still takes at least a one hour nap in the afternoon because she just will not sleep more than about 9-10 hours at night, but she does take a nap. We have tried to wean her off naps, but she still needs them at 4 1/2. Good luck! It can be very frustrating. Good for you for working to make sure your dear daughter gets the sleep she needs!

I bet her bad attitude has alot to do with her being grouchy. You should make her stay in bed and dont let her out dont come to her when she is screaming. If you need to go check on her and tell her to go to sleep then do so. I read on here that someone put up a light. It would turn from one color then to another to let there child know it was time to get out of bed. Other wise I would make her stay in bed. She hopefully will get board and fall back to sleep good luck.

C.,

Is there any chance she was deprived of oxygen during your labor? Sometimes that can cause retinal damage which keeps the body from understanding the difference between night and day. If this might be an issue, talk to your pedi. I won't say more about it if your labor/ delivery was uncomplicated.

It is also possible that she is not getting to bed early enough. It is possible that she is hungry.

Kids this age need 10-12 hours of sleep (including the nap), and moms certainly need them to sleep that much as well in order to maintain your sanity!

Is her stomach upset? Is she frightened? You say it isn't fear of the dark. Is her screaming then just a way to make you get out of bed?

I'd say check on her but don't let her out of bed and don't stay with her. She's old enough that you can explain to her that she has to stay there. Stick to your guns on this. If she gets up put her right back down and leave the room. Don't get mad at her, just be firm and consistant.

And I'd switch Pedis. It sounds as if this one isn't listening very well.

Good luck. I hope you all get some sleep soon.

I would definitely talk to the doctor about it...however after talking to a doctor about my son's sleep problems, they suggested Melatonin and he says it's helping him not wake up. It's a natural remedy and something your body should make...some people's just don't make enough. We started at 3mg, he's 7 yrs old. My doctor did say that they have started doing sleep studies on little ones. I didn't realize when I wrote this that we were talking about a 3 1/2 yr old, I'd still talk to the doctor however and they may still say it's okay to give melatonin. ALSO, I know that night terrors are more common in children that are over tired...maybe have her lay down earlier.

Good Luck!
M.

I don't have any suggestions for you, but did want to agree with your pedi that it probably IS a phase. 3 and 4 year olds still have phases like this.

Her attitude is probably directly related to the lack of sleep she is getting!

Good luck, though. I don't envy this phase!

We've been dealing with this same situation on and off for about 8 months now (since we moved our daughter from her crib. Our daughter is also 3.5 and has not taken a nap in over a year. Thankfully she is getting about 10 hours of sleep recently so the behavior is getting better. Here's our routine:She must have "down time" for at least 30 minutes after lunch where she doesn't have to sleep, but she has to slow down then LOTS of activity in the afternoon. Dinner 6-6:45, outside playtime 7-7:45, bath (warm with lavender)& brush teeth 8-8:20, soothing music, no running or loud play, wind down in her room with us (we try to speak in soft soothing voices during this time), two stories, we stay two (could actually be 15, but we tell her it's only two) minutes in her room then we leave. If she's having a hard time sleeping she may turn on a little night light next to her bed, but she must stay in bed. If she's really wigging out, one of us goes back in to check on her and comfort her then out of her room again. We keep a video monitor in her room so we can see if she's in bed or not. For the most part, she's asleep by 9:15 at the latest.

I know it sounds like a lot, but I'm telling you it's the only thing that's worked, and believe me it still doesn't work 100% of the time. We've tried herbal sleep tablets to no avail. The key for us has been consistency and removing stimulation while making sure she's VERY active during the day to burn off energy. I also don't want her to think she's bad or wrong for her difficulty sleeping, because I don't think she's trying to be a terror on purpose.

When my daughter was around that age, she didn't want to sleep either.
Try skipping the naps. She will be cranky from about 3-6pm, but by 8:00 or 8:30, she'll be sound asleep.

Well worth the 3 or 4 hours of fussiness.

Good luck !

We had something a bit like this with our 2 1/2 yr old. When we moved her out of the crib, she began refusing to stay in her bed. We put one of those childproofing doorknob covers on the door so she couldn't "escape" and left the baby monitor in her room so we knew if she was really distressed, instead of just wanting out. We also got her out of bed at the same time every morning - she figured out pretty quick that she was getting up at 7am no matter when she went to sleep - she sure started sleeping earlier. Naptime is important, too - treat it just like bedtime - same routine, etc, and don't let her leave her room. It sounds like she's overtired and that's why she can't sleep - quiet alone time in the day, even if she doesn't nap, may help. You'll have a few more cranky, crying days - but it sounds like you're there already! Good luck, mama!

dear C.,
there could be something your feeding her before bed time thats causing a mild insomnia. like pork rinds. im sure your not feeing her that, but that does it. and sugar has ill effects on kids. especially children designed foods in the baby section. my daughter is 4 and started acting evil after she had foods like these. like not even the same person. some kids are actually sensitive to the chemicals they put in these foods to make them taste good.
M.

My sisters daughter has been doing the same thing for over 2 years now.. She is 5 1/2.. My sister went to a psychologist about it, and they gave her several tips that temporarily worked and then they told her that she had 2 options, 1, to lock her up in the room so that when she does wake up she can't get out and will eventually give up if she would just let her scream and cry for hours if that is what it took.. or 2, put a little mattress or something on the floor in her room so that when she did wake up and come into the room, she would learn she had to sleep there not in the bed with Mom and Dad. She opted for option number 2.. It is still going on.. Sorry I don't have any better ideas for you.. good luck, J.

Hi C., I believe that children need sleep training. Start with giving her a structured daily routine. At 3 she should be taking 1 nap in the afternoon. Be active with her during playtime as much as possible but make sure she is active. After lunch put her down for a nap. After her nap, give her a snack & then its playtime. After dinner give her a bath, read her a story & put her to bed. If she gets up, say "its bedtime darling" & escort her back to bed. If she gets up again, say, "bedtime" & escort her back to bed. The 3rd & subsequent times she gets up, say nothing, just take her back to bed. You may be taking her back to bed a lot at 1st. Do the same thing in the middle if the night & naptime if necessary. For all of this to work, you have to be consistent. Its a lot of work in the beginning & a lot of tears but it will make a huge difference in her sleeping habits. Remember, quality awake time = quality sleep time. Best of luck!

Hi C. Im sorry to hear your having a hard time with your daughter but it definately sounds familiar. My daughter went through the same thing except she was about 1 when I did something about it. I was at my wits end and would try anything. So I found this website called The Sleep Sense Program. And yes you have to pay but its well worth it especially since you can get advice from a doctor. The website is www.sleepsense.net And I am telling you stick to it and dont give up because you are the parent and if you given in it will never end. Be Strong! This program really helped me. My daughter now knows how to self sooth and she puts herself to sleep. I just made a routine which the program will tell you about and it worked like a charm maybe not right away but within a week she was knocked out for the night. I even quitely play sleep music for her on a cd player on repeat of course in her room and that seemed to help alot because at daycare they play that type of music when they nap. Well good luck and please dont give up. Oh and by the way dont get rid of the naps, babies need their sleep, even if its just a half hour nap.

i bought an alarm clock from the american innovative website that silently goes from a yellow glow to green when it's okay to get out of bed. when my son started having sleep issues (that i'm hearing is also developmental too) i taught him what the colors mean and it's saved our sanity! he usually wakes an hour early, babbles for a while, then falls back to sleep until he sees the green glow then calls for us. I've removed all toys from his room except for a few books to make sure there's no stimulation in there until he gets past this phase. (and he, too, has been acting up lately so i guess it's the sleep deprivation.) good luck!

My daughter is 9 and just started the 4th grade yesterday. She was doing the same thing at night. She would fall asleep and then wake back up around 11pm/12am and then stay up until 4/5am. She would keep walking in my room and waking me up so then I couldn't go back to sleep. I think I figured the prob out Sunday night. She had some anxiety problems last yr bcause of a bully. The girl would be mean, take her lunch, snack, etc and my daughter, although 8 belts up in TaeKwonDo, didn't want to stick up for herself because she didn't want to be mean herself. She told her teacher time and time again. This girl even treated other kids the same way and the teacher ignored her so she figured all adults would do the same. I didn't like the teacher and the situation never really got fixed because it was too close to the end of the yr. We met my daughters new teacher and friends at open house and she said she could sleep now because it is a new year. Although your child is younger....she could have anxiety about any new thing in your life. Hope this helps.

A little about me:

SAHM with a 9 yr old girl and 5 yr old boy.

How is her bed time routine? Do you start early enough? No TV at least an hour before time to sleep, and maybe a warm soothing bath. Have you tried music also? Some children, the more tired they are, the harder time they have settling down into sleep. I know that sounds strange, but it is true, so maybe she needs an earlier bedtime.

If all else fails, some moms use melatonin, a natural sleep aid. I think my niece uses about 2 mg at night for her daughter. I would speak to the pediatrician about it before using it though.