Daughters Teacher

I know you already got great responses (well, mostly, a couple of them- yikes, sorry you were subjected to that). Anyway, I always thought that volunteering would be great to see what happens in the classroom, but then I realized that sometimes seeing so much is not a benefit! No teacher will ever do everything you wish for them to do. Sometimes ignorance is bliss! If it were me, I would let this one slide, but just keep my eyes and ears open. I'll bet in a week or so you'll feel like this isn't worth mentioning, unless it keeps happening. Good luck!

I would personally go to the Teacher.. It would be best to let her know your concerns, this will give you a better perspective on her attitude and reaction to your questions..

Always start with the source. At this point all you know is what your child said. If you start out with the principal, (s)he will do nothing until he talks with the teacher. Then he has the teacher's side without benefit of your perception. It could become a he said/she said sort of conflict with you in the middle not knowing what is really going on.

When you talk with the teacher yourself first then you are reporting your observations not just what your child said.

Always keep in mind that you are getting a child's perception. It may be accurate but then again it may not. You need to know the context of the complaint. You need to know both sides.

I would definitely talk with the teacher and if she becomes angry or defensive then go to the principal. If her side makes sense then you won't have to do anything else.

I remember back when my daughter was in Kindergarten the teacher sent funny little notes home and one of them was "If you don't believe everything they tell you happens at school, I won't believe all the things they tell me happens at home." This is very true and was a terrific lesson for a us having our oldest in school. It came into play quite often in the years to follow.

I can tell you that I hear some really interesting stories from my grandchildren that if they were true (which I know for a fact they are not) I would be astounded. Don't always believe the kids even if they are just saying it in conversational way.

Go to the teacher, tell her what your daughter told you (in a friendly manner) and say you just wanted to follow up because your daughter seems to be taking the whole "sit up straight" message to heart, to the point where she had a neckache that night. That's all you need to say and the teacher will explain what the deal was, and also get the message that she maybe went a little overboard. Communication always seems to work well in these situations.

Always go to the teacher first. In the district I work in, it's in the teachers' contract that administrators will not entertain complaints about a teacher until after the issue has been taken to the teacher directly to be given a chance to remedy the situation. just a side note. People in elementary school seem to think the asnwer to the first problem is "Call the principal!"

Please talk directly to the teacher. You already know that when a four year old tells you a story, it isn't always the exact story. So go in and mention to the teacher that your daughter said they had to sit up straight for an hour while she read a story, but that you're not sure that's really what happened, so you hope the teacher can fill you in.

My daughter is 6, and knowing my kid, I take pretty much everything she says with a grain of salt. I know that when she says things, she truly believes them, but when I ask other sources who I consider reliable, I get a totally different answer. For example, my daughter told me the other day that she plays by herself during recess. I asked if that meant she did not have any friends that she plays with? She said no, no friends, she likes being by herself. Hmm! So I went and asked her teacher, who had a good laugh over that - the teacher said my daughter has so many friends, she's like a tiny Pied Piper - she literally has a crowd following her everywhere she goes. What the heck? How does THAT morph into "I play by myself and have no friends?" *eyeroll* I asked my daughter, who said, "Well, yeah, people want to play with me, but I don't want to play with them." Uhh, ohhhkay...

Anyway, for sure ask the teacher. Could be that your daughter was playing rough at recess and forgot all about it. Who knows. I wouldn't jump from sore neck to crazy abusive teacher right off the bat.

Please talk to the teacher first. I was an aide in a first grade classroom and an hour (?) of reading aloud sounds VERY unlikely :(

I don't mean to sound harsh, but it's just a little soreness. Your daughter's complaints probably have more to do with her being annoyed and a little uncomfortable not getting to relax in the position she wanted to during story time, and less about the true neck pain. We all get a little sore neck sometimes from a pulled muscle or sleeping in an odd position. I would really not make a big deal out of a minor discomfort. The more she sees you make it a big deal, the more she will dwell on it. Also, surely 6 year olds are going to exaggerate the length of anything unpleasant at school. I wouldn't believe for a minute it was a one hour story. It was probably just felt long and perhaps a little boring to your DD. Maybe she's just a little stressed out, maybe the teacher specifically called her out for laying down or fidgeting or whatever and she's feeling a little embarrassed or sorry for herself, or mad at the teacher. Downplay the complaints and let it go. I think your daughter has a stricter teacher this year, not the warmest-fuzziest type. You say yourself she seems to like her. I would let this one incident go. Maybe it was just a bad day. We all have them. I wouldn't be upset with a teacher asking kid to start using respectful posture during listening time. What do you want the teacher to do differently? I would save my approaches to the teacher with larger concerns. If your DD still complains in the morning, I'd give a little Ibuprophen and then move on. Hopefully your DD will find something happier to reflect on the next day after school.

If someone's not used to having good posture, the first week REALLY hurts (says the former slouch who joined the military). Think sore muscles after going to the gym. EXACT same thing. Muscles are being used that were not, previously.

Honestly, I'd be thrilled about the good posture lessons... it's SO important.

The screaming, otoh, I'd be furious about.

Before going anywhere, understand kids say things. Most of the time its not lying, but they really dont know how to express it. My daughter came home complaining that her foot hurt. So I took off her shoe to find a huge blister on her heel. I was kinda peeved about it, like WHY didnt the school make her wear her socks. SO I called them and asked if they knew why she had such a BIG blister on her foot. They were not aware of it, but knew that she had refused to wear socks. She was not going to be allowed to play on the play ground unless she wore them. She apparently told them she was wearing the socks and did NOT put them on. Then they hiked and played and whala she got a huge blister. Totally not the schools fault, but at first, because my sweet daughter complained that they didnt give her time or warning about the socks, and then MADE her do the hike (they never make a child do anything strenuous unless they want too) I felt that maybe I needed to talk to one of the teachers. I dont get along well with ONE of her 4 teachers (pre-school) but I never would think she was intentionally hurting or pushing my daughter around. I know her enough to get an idea what is something she would or wouldnt do.
Screamer? I would hope not, teachers who scream are not productive. I would want to sit in on a class or two to see if she is really a screamer or not. I think asking more than one child if this is common with their teacher is warranted too. When I was a kid in a tiny christian private school I had an Aunt as a teacher, and she was a screamer. She was known as Sargent. NO one liked her. Then I graduated into the Crier classroom, where that teacher had to have some manic depressive disorder. She cried, and then raged about everything. Almost daily. The I got to Neck Squeezer class. The guy would squeeze the back of your neck or drag you around by it if you were misbehaving. I made it through just fine, however now a days, that would have been totally un-acceptable. Ahhh the 80's

Eh....kids are going to have all kinds of teachers. This to me is not a deal breaker. My daughters teacher last year was a yeller (according to my daughter). My friend said she heard it one time too. I talked to another mom about her yelling who had a son in a previous year and she could hardly believe it. I really couldn't believe it either because she always seemed like such a sweet person when I was in contact with her. BUT, she did have some VERY challenging kids in her class with my daughter. I DID witness that. I yell, sometimes at home, so its hard for me to punish anyone for yelling.
So I think as long as none of this is stopping your daughter from getting a good education, I would let it go. Is sitting up straight a horrible thing. It could be possible that she gets them to listen better when they do?

I wouldn't think its anything to address. I'd be happy if someone implemented good posture with my daughter in school. After a while it won't hurt and is healthy. As for yelling, I do know certain teachers are more strict and certain ones can yell for an instant but I think very rarely could a teacher yell all of the time and get away with it. The classrooms are right on top of eachother. I don't think I would address either sittuation unless it was something more valid and with more points of views then J. one child

Talk to the teacher, go in and observe unannounced and see for yourself what is going on in the classroom. Its best to get a good relationship with the teacher and see what is happening before involving the principal or anyone else for that matter.

Go to the teacher first. Don't go to the principle on this unless the teacher confirms your daughter's story...or other kids do.

If she is a screamer, do you really want this to be the experience your daughter has in first grade? I LOVE both of my kids first grade teachers. My daughter's was strict, but geat. And my son's now is amazing!

Updated

Go to the teacher first. Don't go to the principle on this unless the teacher confirms your daughter's story...or other kids do.

If she is a screamer, do you really want this to be the experience your daughter has in first grade? I LOVE both of my kids first grade teachers. My daughter's was strict, but geat. And my son's now is amazing!

I'd talk to the teacher. If your DD is a sloucher, she may have used muscles she doesn't normally use and it's a temporary thing. It may also be that your DD sproinged her neck on the playground or some other way. I think that the "sit up straight" is different than the impatience.

Can you slip in a bit "unannounced" and see if you hear anything as you approach? Can you help out with the office and try to pop in and see what you see or hear?

Failing that, talk to the principal and say "I've heard from multiple sources that Mrs. So&So likes to scream at the kids unless there is a parent around. Would you keep an eye on things?"

A teacher encouraging good posture isn't something you complain about. A child slouching with her neck all bent while sitting on a floor is what causes a sore neck.

I've had my daughters complain that someone was yelling and screaming at them because someone slightly raised their voice and if they're chastized at all, especially when they deserve it, the person is Very Mean. Doubly so if it's a teacher. Take it with a grain of salt.

There are other signs and complaints when a teacher is being inappropriate.