Hi, I am wanting to put my 4 yr old in day care, my mother n law has watched her for 2 yrs so she is VERY spoiled. I understand she needs to learn how to be with other children her age,but I don't know how to go about it.. I did start her last Monday at a daycare and I feel like it went ok but everytime I pick her up she starts to cry. Part of her wants to go but part of her wants to stay with grandma. She stresses over it ALOT. She tells me that they don't hold her, I understand that the teacher is busy but I am paying them to make sure she is safe and happy. I feel like they should get down to her level and give her a hug and tell her that I will be back to pick her up. Should I let grandma watch her again or stick it out in day care? She will be starting kindergarden next yr so I know she needs to learn how to adapt without grandma. I know my child and I know she loves hugs and to be held.
Stick it out. What are you going to do in kinder? She's not going to get picked up all the time either. She is 4 she needs to learn socialization skills. Sounds like she has been catered by her grandmother and you. Good luck.
It is always so hard when a little one is faced with change, because it is all so new to her. Believe me when I say, that it will get better in time and that she will adapt to the changes. I believe that the benefit of social interaction in the long run out weighs her short term need to be cuddled. Just remind her when you drop her of that there will be plenty of hugs and kisses from you. She shouldn't be held all day long any ways. Like you said, next year she starts Kindergarten and believe me when I say that elementary teachers are far to over worked and under paid to give any child the constant attention that your daughter may be used to.
stick it out.....& no, sometimes with daycare, the child just can't get that hug she needs when she needs it. Hopefully, it comes when the teacher has a moment.
Since she's starting KG next year, it's time for her to learn socialization & coping skills. Gma won't be at school next year!
I'd say give her another year with Grandma and encourage them to get out a lot, meet kids, etc., so that she has a lot more experiences by next year. Don't worry that how she is now is how she'll be next year. She'll be a year older, and may have different needs then.
If grandma is still willing to watch her, I would let her watch her. Along with letting her stay with grandma, I would sign her up for a mother's day out program or a preschool that is only 2 or 3 days a week. That way she can still have the cuddles of grandma but also the interaction with other kids her age. Also a lot of MDO programs have a pre-K class for 4 year olds. This would give her a taste of what is to come next year but not such a drastic step of going from being the center of attention and doing whatever she likes, to being one of many and doing what she is instructed to do.
If you are interested in a MDO program, you need to starting checking with the churches in your area now. They usually follow the school calendar and are probably registering now and a good program will fill up fast. I would start by asking your friends for recommendations or even put a posting on here for what area of Houston you live in. Moms on here can give you great insight to the programs. Our church is Oak Ridge Baptist near The Woodlands so that would probably be a little far for you or Grandma to drive from Houston.
Last year at our church our MDO/Pre-school was 3 days a week, this year they are changing it to 2 days a week but having 2 sessions a week. They did this so we could accommodate more children. Parents can choose Monday & Wednesday or Tuesday & Thursday or I guess they can pay to do both sessions but the children would be repeating everything. It is from 9-2 each day. They have chapel, music, recess, some structured learning time, free play time, and rest time.
The first couple of weeks there is usually a lot of tears because it is something different but by the end of the year there are usually tears because they are going to miss their teachers, friends, and school.
Good luck and know that she is probably going to be upset by whatever you choose to do just because it is different from what she has now. So expect some resistance but if after a couple weeks she is still upset go and talk to the teacher and find out how she is doing in class. She more than likely will be doing great after the first 15 minutes or so. Also make sure when you talk to her about her day, show excitement in what all she is learning don't dwell on her missing Grandma. If she brings it up, acknowledge her feelings and then move on to what all did you do in class, did you do something fun with a friend, did your teacher do something silly, etc.
Stick it out girl! Yes, talk to the teachers. They will make you feel more at peace. Your DD needs to learn how to adapt to a new environment with children her age to help prepare her for kindergarten. Sending her back to grandma would just delay the process AND show her that she really can get what ever she wants. I'm a SAHM and when my son turns 3 next year, he's going to be doing the same thing as your DD. He's a little bit of a mama's boy :) so, he needs to be in that environment so school isn't so scary and we kick separation issues in the butt. What about creating a secret handshake with her with a cute little rhyme that you do when you drop her off and pick her up... a little something that makes her feel a little more special and loved, and of course include some hugs ;) Good Luck Mama!
She needs to do this now so that when she does start to Kindergarten next Fall she won't have such a hard time.
My sister (S) watched her grand daughter (E) since birth and the mom (A) started her daughter (E) in child care a couple of days per week then up to 3 days per week.
When she (E) starts Pre-K in the Fall she will be used to change and able to go and succeed with out all that drama.
Speak to her teachers. She may be saying this to get your attention when they are actually giving her cuddles. My boys' daycare teachers give lots of cuddles, but when my five year old was a little younger, he came up with some furphies about them poking him with big sticks and kicking him. Nothing could have been further from the truth. The teachers would probably have no problem with dispensing cuddles to your girl.
