Myself Daycare

Y., If you can stay home with him for a while, that would be great. My daughter is in day care, she is 4 months. I plan on staying home with her in two months for 6 months. If you want to stay with him, you definitely should. You can always go back to work, when you are ready. :)

I know how hard it is going back to work... Both my girls were in daycare at 8weeks old, I had no choice but to work. I have not missed much seeing how I had a great daycare(in AZ) that I was very comfortable with.
That is the most inportant thing about chosing a daycare. Also do not hesitate to change for any reason at all.
The positive side of daycare is my girls have always been very social I believe this is b/c my neice and nefew who were home all the time did not see that interaction with large groups.

Just a little insider info.. Take care Jenn:0)

I live in Donna and have all 3 of mine in daycare in Mcallen. I researched the daycares a lot before I put my kids in it and my middle daughter was 5 1/2 months when we started them there. I now have a 4 month old baby who was 6 weeks when she started, but I trust this daycare very much. My baby hasn't even gotten a cold yet and she's been there for 3 months now, but I also exclusively give her breastmilk which supposedly boosts her immune system. You can go to the following website and search the daycares in the local area also see their inspection reports

http://www.dfps.state.tx.us/Child_Care/Search_Texas_Child...

Hello Y.,
Whether you work or not is a choice you really should make soon. I have found that the younger the kids are, the easier it is for them to accept a stranger as their caregiver while you are away. I know this because I am "the stranger". I have been providing child care for working parents for over 16 years now.
I usually start keeping the babies at 6 to 8 weeks and they accept me and the changes in their life real easy. But, sometimes the older ones ( 1 to about 3 years) are so accustom to ONLY "Mommy" taking care of them that they have a bit of a tough time accepting any changes.

As for your fear of loosing the connection - have no fear, NOTHING detracts the love of a good mother. If anything, the time apart makes the time together more precious.

A home based child care can give your son the individual attention that he needs at his age, and the safety of not being exposed to too many other children and all the colds and flu bugs that goes with large groups of children.

Even if you don't NEED the money, can you ever have too much? You could always quit if it doesn't work out. Good luck . . . you'll make the right choice for yourself and your family.

S.

Hi Y.,
Since you are blessed in not needing the income,please follow your heart and stay home with your son.-The time with your son cannot be repeated and there will be other jobs.
Take care and enjoy,
R.

It is great to stay home but it isn't for everybody. You have to be happy for your family to be happy. I absolutely LOVE the center my son is enrolled in. He goes to Del Mar COllege Center for Early Learning. They are cream of the crop, probably the best in town. I am an Early CHidlhood major and I am so satisfied with the care my son recieves. They do everything developmentally appriately and teach self help skills like brushing teeth, serving their own food and drink. My two year old turns the faucet off with a paper towel when he is done washing his hands. The infant room is wondferful! Fully trained staff and even better the Del Mar Early Childhood professors have their offices in the same building and do walk throughs and observations regularly. I feel guilty when I pick my son up at 5:00 but am reassured because he wants to stay. When we get to school in the morning he gets excited to go in. Now that is proof of a loving environment

You are so young (I am 49 with a son, 8/girl,5) and when you are in your early 20s you need to keep exploring the world and what place you have in it in additon to being a mom and wife. You are a woman first. Obviously, I waited a long time to start my family, but I think a time without children is so important. Especially in your 20s. You haven't been away from your parents' home that long and you still need time for selfishness, spontaneity and exclusive time with your husband. But you do already have a baby obviously and putting him in daycare can be wonderful. It helped my kids to learn social skills and it helped me to do what I needed to do. Each woman is different in her needs whether it be career, stay at home mom, or a blend of both. If you stay at home and are pining away for a career, how "present" are you going to be for your baby and husband? On the milestones, children don't just have them in the pre-school months and years, they will always have them in some form. I didn't miss any milestones with my kids and I doubt you will either. At your young age, you need to keep developing who you are whether you have a career or not.That will be of great benefit to your whole family.Best wishes.

Go with your gut feeling and stay home! You will never get that time with him back! It goes by sooooo quickly!

Hey sweety I know it is rough but he knows who mommy is and he always will. Make the time with him count. If you don't need the money however but you need time away don't always go for what is in your feild. This is a chance to try something new that will give you more available time. And also child care is so expencive make sure your not just working to pay for daycare. What ever your decision know it is the right one. I have done it both ways and all my kids thrived just the same. No wait the one that went to daycare actually learned educational skills earlier than the others but other than that they all love me the same. And nothing beats that first hug after not being together for a while, it is something special. Take care.

Hello it is your chioce I am a fulltime stay home mommy, I love every min. If you just want to work.. I teach my baby girl she is 2 1/2 yr old she is very smart.. She can count (ABC) talk very well.. I am very proud of everything she does, please think long an hard.. Some mommies wish they could be able to stay home but the family need both parents to work.. Ithank God I can be home with my baby.. I hope you do what make's you happy God bless..

S.

I am a proud working mom and my baby has been in daycare since she was 6 months old. And miraculously enough I still witnessed her first steps and while I'm sure some of her first words were uttered to her "teachers" I was always happy with the daycare process.
And my daughter has never once indicated to me that she preferred daycare over me nor did she ever stop recognizing me; even though I don't spend every waking moment with her she and I still have an amazing bond. I've also witnessed the same with all of my friends who have children in daycare.
As long as you find a good daycare (be sure to go interview them in the middle of the day, unannounced, so that you can see the condition of the facility and the babies when it's at it's peak of activity) your son should be just fine for 8 hours.
As he gets older (1 year and up) daycares are actually very positive things. Your child will learn at an early age to interact with other children, learn to cope in a classroom like setting (learning to follow group instructions, improving his attention span, etc...)
It makes the first few days of kindergarten a lot less traumatic for both of you!
If you don't NEED to work then staying home with your baby is always best and I envy those who can do it but sending him to daycare is not the end of your job as a mother by a longshot... Good luck!

I don't know how anyone could possibly say that daycare is best for the child. Most basically put, you are paying someone to be you. If you have the ability, you should raise your own child and not out-source it. You will not ever get this time back.

Prime example: A few weeks ago, I was at the park with my children. There were several nannies sitting around talking (bitching about pay, hours, etc...). The children were asking me and another mom to push them on swings, while their very well paid and I am sure highly recommended nannies blew them off. They wanted and needed a mommy. Nobody will love your child like you do.

Before you know it, your child will be in school, and you will have the time to work -- for the rest of your life. If your child grows up in daycare, you will miss all the milestones, and he probably will not know you as his primary caregiver, because frankly, you won't be. The woman who stated that her child was so excited to see her when she picked him up hit the target. The kid was saying, "Get me out of here!" He wanted his mommy.

By the way, I'm a 33 year old SAHM with 2 (10 mos and 3), and I'm a part-time attorney, working mostly from home, and do not regret it a bit!

I have a five year old and I think it is fine to put him in childcare as long as it is a good one and you feel comfortable. Just make the time you spend with him worth while and you and he will be fine. Tons of women do it so they can have a career. I am looking for a sitting job in my home if you are interested. I just want one or two kids because my husband is deploying and I need something to take up my time. I am a student in college through an online class studying to become an elementary school teacher. Good luck with your decision, I know its hard because I started my son in daycare when he was 1 month old because I was a single mom at the time and I had to support both of us. The first few weeks are the hardest but if you feel comfortable were he is then you will feel better through time.

i stay home with my 2 babies. i also have 7 year old. i missed so much with him that i regret big time. the walk, the talking, potty training. but he was with my family not at daycare. i still miss all that. they would call me at work and tell me he just stepped or he said mama or what ever. it was like a kick in the gut. being able to be here with my youngest 2 and seeing everything they do made me see exactly what i miss. it saddens me. if you could stay home it is waay worth it. i love being home with them and having our own schedule. good luck!

I'm not sure I necessarily agree with the advice given that if you're gonna start daycare you should start now because it only gets harder. I know most children get to a point (usually between 2 and 3) when they want to be around other children. Seven month old babies do not express a desire to be around other children. Yes, they will smile at other children and laugh at siblings, but it is not an expression of readiness for daycare. I have worked in daycare, and the staff loved the children, I certainly did, but it was that experience that has kept me at home with my children. No one, EVER, will do what you would do in every, or even most, situations. They do not love your children like their own, and they are never keeping a 1:1 ratio like you can at home. That said, sometimes a mom doesn't desire to be at home all the time, and that is perfectly okay. You have to do what your heart tells you to do. Your child will be okay if you are okay, but just remember that in a very short period of time your son will be talking and ready to spend time during the day with other children. If you can hold out until he is two, you both might be more comfortable. Good luck, and whatever you do, don't be hard on yourself. Your son needs his mom to be happy, and regret over missing opportunities at home or at work can make for sad moms.

I know the position you are in. I also could have went back to work making pretty good money but my son would be in daycare for 8 hours a day and just like you I didnt want him to think I left him or didnt want to spend time with him..So I made the choice to stay at home with him hes almost 4 now and I wouldnt have went back to work for anything now that I see all the things we get to do together during the day..We also didnt need to money and its a blessing not to need it, so while you can I would stay at home with your son and watch him grow up..Its the greatest feeling in the world and you wont regret a min. of it!!!

Y.,
You only get one opportunity to raise your child, there is no instant reply and the time you miss you don't get back. Careers come and go but being a mom is something that carries on for generations. If you still have the desire to work and want to be home with your child too, I can show you how to do both. I work from home and really love it because I have flexibility and can still be there for my children. If you're interested email me at ____@____.com - I would be happy to show you how you could do the same.
Blessings, C.

hey im B., i know how you are feeling.my youngest daughter started daycare when she was 6months old. not because i wanted her to but because she had to, so that i could get a job fast to pay the billswhen her dad left. i was soo scared that she would get hurt or hit that i got a job working at the daycare she went to.it was soo hard to let go of her soo soon but i had to. and when i went to pick her up she came with open arms every time.your son will not forget who you are. its always harder on us then it is on them. my girl still crys sometimes. (till i get out the door)and him being with other babies his age is a good thing.

Y.,

Since you said that you don't need the money, what are the reasons that you are considering going back to work? Is there a way for you to do those things from home? Have you thought about working from home? There are lots of great things you can do from home and lots of reputable business that you can start from home as well. I have found a great business/company that has allowed me to stay home with my sons and do something that brings me fulfillment and enjoyment at the same time. If you want to learn more, you can go to www.PictureYourBusiness.org Then you can email me directly at ____@____.com if you want more information.

To go back to work or not go back to work, is a very personal decision. I hope that what ever you decide to do brings you a peace that it is the perfect decision for you and your husband.

Blessings,

M. L.

It is really up to you and your husband on what you would want to do. I don't work, but when I had my first child I did have to work and he never forgot who I was. He would smile and get so excited when I would go pick him up from daycare. Just when you pick him up, spend alot of time with him and play with him. It really will be alright, but it is really up to you if you want to work or not. He knows that you are his mother and he will recognize you.

When asked if she would change anything about her life my mom always replies, " I would have stayed at home with my children when they were small". Having babies just as womens lib was really opening doors, my mom went to work when we were babies. She regrets every minute of it. My first born was 6 months old when I was offered a job that was just too good to turn down. I accepted it...then cried for two days with the memory of what my mom always said. I didn't go to work. Instead I stayed home for 7 years...I had another baby two years after the first. I stayed home until both were in school. I worked in a chapel daycare on Sundays, babysat, clipped coupons, taught a college course at night, and worked as a substitute teacher. They weren't dream jobs but they worked to suppliment an already OK income and I got to have my babies when they were babies. Now, 8 years later I really do have a dream job. Going back to work was a nothing deal. I wasn't leaving my kids, I was finding something to do while they were in school. Some thing else that has always stuck with me is from my husband. I was complaining about my kids always wanting to sleep with me when he is deployed. His reply..."one day they won't want to be in the same house with you let alone sitting next to you"...They grow too fast, don't miss it! Barbara Walters was a stay at home mom for 20 years...she did not start her career until she was in her 40's! Good luck with whatever you choose.

I'm 23 & the mother of 3..all under the age of 6! Your baby is never going to forget you!! You will be suprised that your son will cry when you leave & light up when you come to get him!! My kids run to me!! Even though your not there he thinks of you & probably even will look around the room for you!! I don't think you will lose the bond that you have! I enjoy my "me" time. Of course I miss my kids through the day, but it makes it that much better when I finally get to see them at the end of the day!! Try leaving him with a friend for a day and see how it is..but remember to stay busy!!

Don't worry about him forgetting you. Sure, you may be scared to miss something- but it's not very likely. My son was almost a year old when I put him in daycare- but I HAD to. My mom had just passed away and I was in school and needed somebody to help out. It is nice to get away (on my days off) and get stuff done for myself without him on my hip all day. And right now, yours is at the perfect age to get used to being there.
Good luck!
E.

Y.,

I know this is a hotly debated topic, but I think different forumulas work for different families. I stayed home for a year because I thought I'd be doing my son a disservice by doing anything else. By the end of that year it was clear that it wasn't working for me and thusly my son. So I began the loooooong and tedious task of finding a daycare and then went back to graduate school. My son is now nearly 4 and I haven't regretted it a bit. I think we are all searching for that unique balance that is right for our own family, and when you find it you'll know. If you tried the job and decided it just wasn't right you could always quit (assuming you aren't under contract). Just my thoughts! Good luck,

A.

Hello Y.!

I'm a stay at home mother and have been since my son was born almost a year ago. I struggled for quite a while when I was pregnant trying to decide what I wanted to do-work or stay home.

I know that it can be hard and demanding to stay home with your child and it's not for everyone. And if you feel that you would be happier working then that's what's best for you and your family. Just try to weigh out the pros and the cons.

And don't worry about him not recognizing you or not wanting to be with you. You're his mother and you're always going to be one of the most (if not THE most) special person in his life. Sending him to daycare won't change that.

If possible-why don't you try to find a job that will allow you to only work a few days a week so that you can "test the water" to find out how you like it.

Even though I don't work I am a full time college student so I do send my son to a "Mother's Day Out" program at a local church in Benton two days a week from 9-2. Even though I always HATE leaving him (and even feel quilty) it's good for us to have that time apart. It allows me to run around town, Wal-Mart, paying bills. It allows me to clean the house and to study for school. Plus-he gets to play with other kids and learn that he doesn't have to be by mommy's side constantly. There are several churches in Benton that offer programs like this and they're really cheap. I only pay about $100-$115 a month and I think that it's worth it. If you would like more information about the Mother's Day Out Program you can email me thru this website and I'll be glad to give you more details.

But-like I said earlier. What works for some mom's and their babies doesn't work for everyone. If you're this concerned about going back to work then I'm sure you're an excellent mother who is very intune to your son's needs and emotions. You'll make the right decision!!

Good luck!!

J.

Y.,
I stayed home with my 2 year old until he was 7 months old. Then I went back to work from 8-5. It was harder on me then it was on my baby. He was just so excited to see me when I came home. Just make sure that you chose a daycare that you are comfortable with.

Truth be told, 9-5 are great hours. I am 24, and yes I wish that I was home more so than not, getting up at 5:30 is not that great, however, I think that a little time away would be good for both. You will love the time that you spend with him even more, plus the daycare will teach him to be more independant, such a plus. I know that when I finally let my son go to daycare @ 13 months, just how much I had babied him. They had him off of the bottle and pacifier quicker than I thought possible. All in all, he is 3 1/2 now and I know that I made the right decision. And As far as the money, well you may not need it now, but save every penny for college, its way expensive now (At least $18,000 @ UT,$ 30,000 @ Drexel per semester or Quarter), and it will give you more of a sence of accomplishment for yourself. I mean 9-5... that is favor. I work 7-5 straight... Girl I'd take it and run.

Good Luck!!!

Dear Y.,

I also have a 7 month old. I have been working full time 10 to 13 hours a day since he was 3 months old. I had the same concerns you have. Trust me when I say, your baby will NOT forget you. MY son stays with his grandma during the day, I thought he would forget me and love her and want to be with her. When I go pick him up, he just smiles so big and holds his arms out for me to pick him up (even if grandma is holding him.) Your child will never forget your scent and your touch, and everything you do for your child. My son when we have our time alone, he gets clingy sometimes, and I think it is because he realizes that he does not see me much. But you know I do not mind him being that way at times, it just reasures me my son loves me and will NEVER forget who I am. Don't have those worries. It will just drive you nuts. Be assured your son will always know you and always LOVE you and you will be his number 1. I hope this helps your worries.

D.

My daughter has been in daycare since she was 6 weeks old. I lift my ex while I was pregnant, so it is just the two of us. I promise you, it will be good for him, and you will still have a strong bond!

B.

If you can afford it, and you have any misgivings about going back to work, stay home with your baby. You will never regret time spent with your child.

To be honest with you, I think daycare is a good thing. The RIGHT daycare. I was worried just like you when I had to leave my 3 week old at daycare & go back to work. He is almost 2 years old now & he talks much better than alot of children his age. He shares well and loves his daycare. I do wish sometimes that I was able to stay home with him, but I really feel that daycare prepares them more for school. It will not be such a shock to him. Don't feel like you are neglecting your child by leaving them in daycare. You need to do something for yourself too. And the longer you wait to put your child in daycare the harder it will be, for both of you. So if you are going to do it, I'd do it now.
Hope this helps.

Well if you don't need the money, don't do it girl! I'd spend as much time with your children as you can. They grow up so fast; before you know it, he'll be off to school. And the longer you can bond with your child, the better off you and he will be later thru the teenage years. I'd wait until he was in school before I got a full time job. I had to go back to work when my baby girl was 3 months shy of turning 2 years old, and it was hard. On the other hand, at that age, she was ready for more socialization. I put her with an in-home care giver at first and later transferred her to a daycare. She has adapted beautifully. But if I had it my way, I'd have her attend a mother's-day-out program twice a week and have her the remaining days. Good luck!

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