Daycare Provider Asking Us to Pick up Our Son for Nap Time....

Holy Cow... I have a few questions....How long have you had your son at this daycare? Do you have trouble putting your son down to nap on weekends? Is the routine and time at daycare consistent with your routine and time at home?

As a daycare provider myself, I can empathize with your provider needing a break during the day. I may make some people mad with that one, but daycare is a long long day by the time you get up and prepare for kids to come, have kids all day long and clean and do the "business" part of the job you look at at least a 12 hour day. Yes it is the profession we choose and we are getting paid for taking care of children, but most jobs allow at least a half hour to an hour break during the day. She does deserve a break during the day. And it is hard when one child is loud and disrupting the other kid's naps.

HOWEVER, the solution is not to simply ask you to pick up your child. Your provider needs to have open communication with you about how to help your son have a good nap schedule and if you wan tot keep him there you have to work with her (and she with you) to do that. When you work with kids you always have this as a potential issue. All kids are different and you have to be aware of those differences and needs if you want to have a successful naptime.

I would be happy to talk to you more about this if you are interested. You can e-mail me... If she's not willing to work with you, I'd find someone else.

And to the woman whose provider closed their son in a closet??!!! I hope you reported her.

Good luck Paola. There are good providers out there!

Paola,

The daycare provider is being completely unreasonable! It's their job to take care of your child when you can't be there. She needs to find a way to make nap time comfortable for your child, not the other way around. I would talk with her and find out what is causing your child to react this way and see if you can help transition him better with a toy or some other comfort item. Maybe she can word "naptime" as "rest time" some kids don't sleep-but they do rest or do things quietly instead. I would suggest that.

Good luck!

Molly

Maybe your son needs to nap a little earlier than 1:00. The daycare provider needs to take him for his nap at the first sign of sleepiness. Has she tried rubbing him lightly on his back? Has she tried anything? Napping issues are something a daycare provider should not only expect but also should be an expert in. She might seem good to you, but what other issues can't she handle> I know you say that you really don't want to find another daycare provider, but it sounds like this person is not able to handle this many children. I appreciate that the other kids need to nap, but isn't there another room (or a different corner of the room) where your son would be less likely to disturb the other kids? This is hardly bizarre behavior for a kid. If you son had been napping fine but now suddenly is not, maybe he is hitting a developmental milestone of some sort, and once he hits it the napping will return. What's the point of daycare if you have to take 1.5 hours plus naptime off from work? I hope you find a better solution!

It's obviously time for a new daycare.

Paola,

This is her way of telling you she doesn’t want to take care of your child anymore. 45 min X 2 + 1.5 hours = 3 hrs from work for you. How’s that going to go over with your employer?

Your care provider might be good, but not good for you. She’s caring for five other children (which is a lot, too many in my opinion, for one person), and your child is the only one causing a disruption? Find another place for your child. I agree with the Mama who suggests a caregiver closer to your work.

Blessings…..

she needs to be a daycare provider. your paying her to watch your son. she needs to deal with it. That is crazy. she can do her things after childcare. she shouldn't leave kids unattended anyways. If you were in my area I would watch your son. Im a daycare provider in Lincoln,ca.

I think that is just wacky that she thinks you should pick up your child during naptime! You are paying her to care for your child, whether he behaves conveniently for her or not. I think it's time for a talk with your provider - tell her that either she can watch your son all day, or you will have to find someone else. The one upside to our current economy is that there are LOTS of fantastic unemployed nannies out there to choose from...

I know that many Moms here voiced that it was "unreasonable" for her to ask you to take your son out during nap time, and to a degree it is. I mean, if you could do that in the first place, why put him in daycare right? :-) But you must think about the rest of the kids and her situation too.

The fact that the daycare is 45 minutes away from work and your son is experiencing difficulty, might mean that there is a need for a change of venue. She might also be suggesting something that seems so "unreasonable" as a sign that she cannot handle your son, and is giving you a way out instead of saying... "don't bring him here again".

Does that make sense? Try finding something closer to work, what if there was an emergency? Wouldn't you want to be closer anyway?

Good luck hon.

Paola - I don't want to alarm you, but I have had similar experiences. One with a pre-K program where Challenger said my son was not a good fit. We could have fought to keep him there, but after we moved him, we found out he was miserable there. After moving him, he has thrived....

Our youngest was in an at home daycare at 10 months of age that we adored. Our oldest went there too. We later found out after they skipped town one weekend....as they were being investigated for child neglect and my 10 month old was named in the complain by the assistant as she would yell at him if he didn't go down to sleep. I was floored to say the least and missed any warning signs. Inhome daycares have less checks and balances.... You can fight for your child to stay.....but I have learned to cut my losses, as this person has your child....and if they don't want your child for whatever reason, find someone who does. It is injust and everything in your bones will want to fight to stay......but it is short sighted. Move on and find a place where your son feels comfortable enough to nap and where the child care provider is excited to see your son every morning and he is sad to leave every evening....My oldest is now asking me when school starts...as he misses it.....

I would pick a daycare that at least has an assistant....without the asssistant who knows what would have happened to my youngest child....

Sorry Paola but I'm going to echo all the other mothers here - time for a new provider.

I had a provider who complained that my 4 month old was not a self soother and it was obvious she was annoyed by it. Well one day I arrived early to pick him up and found that she had put the crib INSIDE a closet, shut all the doors and just let him to cry it out. Well, I don't do CIO and I had told her that. If you don't find a provider who is willing to care for your child in the manner you find appropriate then they will eventually just do whatever is easiest for them. I'm not trying to randomly scare you I'm just trying to help you realize that little things like this request can mean bigger problems down the road.

Lastly is your 16 month old down to only 1 nap a day? Because 1:00 is pretty late for only 1 nap a day. And if he still does 2 naps is he even ready for nap #2 at 1:00? I take issue with her needing to do record keeping and cleaning while the children sleep. You pay her to babysit your child not keep records and keep the house clean. Furthermore if only 1 child is awake she could still do the what should be light cleaning while your son hangs out and reads or does another quiet activity.

Good luck!

Personally, if it were me, I would just move my son. A toddler who is having trouble sleeping at nap time is hardly considered an extreme behavior issue! The fact that she can't handle it says to me that she has probably overstretched herself. That's not your problem and you certainly should not have to take 3 hours out of every workday to cover for her!

That is a very unreasonable request! I would talk to her, and put your foot down that she is paid to watch your son while you are work. Try to have a list of suggestions for her to try like a special toy or a binky for him only at nap time, rocking him after she gets the other kids down, a special book or activity....

If she is not working with you to solve the issue, then it might be time to look elsewhere. There are plenty of nannies and or SAHMs out there looking for a child to care for (I know, I am one of them looking!)

L.

It doesnt sound like she is good if she isnt patient and understanding about your son. What comfort is he receiving if she cares more about paperwork than being patient and being there for him? Childcare can be a nightmare, and sometimes what seems to be a good fit, can end up being a difficult provider who is running a business like a business instead of with love and nurturing. =( I have a 22 mo. old, Ive been through so much with daycares and I totally understand. Can you try to look into other places? Ive found the best fits are facilities with video cameras. They dont pull these demands on you. =*(

I think this is an outragous request. She is there to be the care giver to your son while you are at work, the whole time you're at work. Every child is different and may not want to go down at the same time as the rest. He may even not want to nap anymore (even though she may need him to). I think she should either entertain him another way durring naptime or maybe take thw time to rock him etc. maybe he just needs some extra love. If she is not willing, you may in fact want to look for someone else. I ran a daycare for 3 years out of my home and although it was nice when all the kids went to sleep at the same time, I could never count on it. That's just what happens when your business is children. Hope to help, S.