Daycare Question I Still Cant Get Over

As other people have said, there are good ones and bad ones.

As for a general "theory", daycare is awesome! At my son's daycare last week they brought in ponies and let the kids have pony rides and pat them. All I could think was, even if I stayed home with my son we wouldn't be doing anything as cool as that.

He also "learns" Japanese, (He's three, so I guess it's better to say, is exposed to the Japanese language) they have teddy bear picnics outside, once a week a dance teacher comes in to teach, they used to do yoga.

My point is, the kids at daycare can have an awesome time. They do some really neat activities with them that just aren't possible in other settings. As long as the carers really are caring daycare is a great place.

My daughter was at a daycare "center" at the YMCA from 3 mos until kindergarten. It was fine! She liked it!

I was afraid of daycare too and I used an in-home sitter. After many incidents that didn't sit right with me, I pulled her out. I found an awesome daycare/preschool that I enrolled my 3 year old in. We both love it! She has learned so much and her vocabulary has exploded. She is no longer sitting in front of a tv all day. She spends her day learning, socializing and having fun. As long as it is a good daycare, I highly recommend them! Don't be afraid. All daycares are not bad!

Professional daycare is a heck of a lot better than some old woman sitting on a couch with the TV on all day! Probably safter too. I say go for it! If you feel like you need to give her an "excuse", tell her now that your son is older you want him to have more time around kids his own age.

You've been putting up w/ this for THAT long?? Yep, time to move on and good for you for finally doing it. I wouldn't pay someone to pop the tv on and leave it on all day. And if she doesn't get around well, even more reason to find another provider. Kids are active! Daycare providers need to be, too! You've made the RIGHT choice for your son and everyone on here will tell you so. Good for you!

Your son needs plenty of guidance, stimulation and interaction at this critical stage of his life. Cartoons and television are not good fare for children who need to hear language and watch people's faces in order to learn to speak properly.

I would simply thank this woman sincerely for her loving care, and tell her you've found a situation that will give your son more developmental activity now that he's growing older. You might offer her a small gift or bonus for her service.

You are doing fine.
I would have done the same thing.
Just make sure, in your "rampage" that the Daycare you chose... IS a good one and that you like it and feel it is appropriate and caring.

Daycare is soooo much better than what you have. Daycare facilities do not allow children to watch tv, they do not call off sick and they provide a good balance of individual creative play, outdoor activity/exercise and educational instruction. DS was in a daycare facility (licensed preschool at the same place once he turned 3) from 9 weeks until he was 4-1/2 and we switched to a Montessori. I never even considered an in home sitter for the very reasons you state. Plus - how long has it been like this? Has he been watching cartoons all day since he was 8 weeks old? And how would you even find out before he was verbal?

A good daycare facility will allow you to observe and also to visit unannounced at any time. It's not a bad thing to do.

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Some daycares are excellent, others are not, so if you shopped around and visited the center and feel good about your situation, he should be fine. Regardless, your son will likely pick up sickness from being around other kids in day care. Of course, you will have the consistency of care since there are more than one providers there vrs one woman who is sick. Since he is getting older, he really does need activities and consistency more than just cartoons on.

Oh yeah, you are doing the right thing. This woman may be loving, but she is not reliable and she doesn't engage the children. Her age isn't the issue - it's her reliability and her inability to provide stimulation.

You have had your child in day care, just not in a center. What's the difference? You need reliable service and perhaps some programming - your sitter doesn't do that. How can your alternative be bad, so long as it is licensed and sticks to state-mandated ratios. They will at least have coverage for sick employees.

I agree that a small token of appreciation from you or your child would make the parting a bit sweeter. But don't be guilt-tripped into staying - she either needs to provide constant care or have a designated sub, and have some activities.

You are long overdue for a change. Don't let anyone tell you that a specific situation is bad by definition - it's just not true.

Of course all day care centers are not "bad" and frankly, it doesn't seem like the bar has been set very high.
Good luck!

In my honest opinion that is what a lot of home child cares are like, they are much much less structured...I know some are excellent but a lot are just babysitters. You have needed to do this for a long time, good for you.

My son went to Kinder Care.. the best thing that has ever happened to him. They are such nice people, and the structured play is just what he needed at 2 years old. He turns 3 in December.

He will make new friends once he has adjusted, and the "school" or "classroom" environment will prepare him for when School actually starts.

They typically do circle time early in the morning where all the kids gather on the play mat, for story time, or sing allongs, ABC, learn to count, colors, puzzles etc., then they do some form of art or play doh, then they play a bit, eat, wash up and have a nap, then they play freely for the rest of the day with other kids - outside on the gym if it is warm enough, or inside with toys.

You are doing the right thing. These people are trained at what they do.. just follow your gut, and if something feels off, it usually is!!

Your sitter is 64. I mean.. not that age matters, but it seems to me that she is not really fit to watch the kids.

No sick days at daycare, unless it is your baby who is the sick one.

Good luck

It might be her age, it might be just too much for her.

Have you gone to the daycare and checked it out? I wouldn't call ahead and just pop in. It will make you feel much better. :) Good luck. I worked as a daycare teacher for about 8 years. At least your little one will be learning, stimulated, and socially exposed to children his/her own age. I don't think you will regret it!

Ive done centers, house "centers" and something like your talking about and I have the least trouble and feel like my kids are better taken care of, learning more and happier at the centers

Um, a sitter that unexpectedly cancels on you, doesn't take care of your kids, and puts the TV on? I would have been out of there a year ago!

Yes, you are doing the right thing. You have a problem with how your son is watched. As a mother, you want to do something about it, so just go ahead and do it! You are in control of this, no apologies. As I was reading, my first response was gonna be GET A NEW SITTER, but then I read that you are. If you are unhappy with something-especially pertaining to your child, then yes- do something!

Some parents may be perfectly fine with the care your ex-sitter gives, but YOU are not, and that is what is important.

I had my mom watching my son at our house until he was a year old and started getting to mobile for her to keep up with him. I found a daycare center that we both absolutely love!! Yes, the first 2 weeks were very tough. He had separation anxiety about being in a strange place with new people, but after a month or so, and even now (2 1/2 years later) he looks forward to going to his school!!! You are doing the right thing for you and your little one. Hope things are going well with your little one and his new daycare.

I think your gut about leaving is right on the nose. I would tell her, "I want to thank you for all the weeks you have sat my son, but I think we are at a crossroads and need to switch care providers. I am happy to pay for the rest of the week (if you haven't already) for any inconvienence." You are doing HER a blessing, from the sounds of it.

I feel that a daycare facility would be a huge improvement compared to his current situation.

Best of luck and trust your gut!

Each daycare is different. If you feel good about your daycare, then you're ok. It's not daycares that are "bad", it's the level of individual care compared to what you provide. It sounds like the in-home care is just not working out. She's physically unable to deal, and it will only get worse as your son gets more mobile. At daycare, they have activities, playtime, learning time, etc., and at this age, he's getting more social, so it might be fun for him. Relax, you're doing the right thing :)

Your son will be exposed to plenty of illness at daycare, that's not going to change, but there, if a provider is sick, they can stay home and your son will still be cared for. If you feel that your current sitter isn't up to chasing toddlers around and sits them in front of the television all day, then I am sure a daycare center would be a better environment for him. Why would a daycare center be bad? Just be sure that you choose a place with a good reputation, get references from parents whose children go there and be sure to tour the center.

My child was in a center that I loved. Very homey, had classes for different age groups, appropriate toys, activities, etc. Had we lived closer, she would be there for preschool, but I just can't do the drive. If you chose a center out of need and thoughtful consideration, then it's a good move. If you chose a center out of rage and reaction to the situation, then make sure you did not just choose the first opening and picked a place where he will thrive.

You're doing the right thing. There are a lot of day care centers that are wonderful. Make sure you visit first to be sure you like what you see at the place you've chosen. Your son needs the interaction and stimulation; watching cartoons all day is just sad for a baby that age!

I would just tell your babysitter, "Now that Johnny is getting older, we feel that being in a classroom setting is going to be best for him." If she presses the issue, tell her that your other concern is that you're out of sick days at work, and you need to be sure that your son is guaranteed care every day, even if his care provider is out sick. A day care center can provide that stability. That's just a reality for us working moms!

Well it sounds like you've had ongoing issues with her so you have to revisit why you continue to use her services. My child is in a great early learning center/day care and SHE loves it and I total trust them and can depend on them to be open according to their calendar. The downside to home cares is the lack of accountability and oversight which is why I don't use them.

Children are going to get sick anyway by avoiding child care centers you are also somewhat denying them the opportunity of structure, routines, etc...

Do your research. It sounds like you enrolled in the first center available so that means you will have to do frequent check ins via telephone, and talk during pick up and drop off to get a sense of his day and the effectiveness of the center.

A.,

Not all daycare's are bad. Alot of them are really very wonderful and have extremely loving people running them. You just have to find the right one. I personally wouldn't have stayed with a person who sat and did nothing but watch tv, but I am glad that you are seeing its not the best environment for your child. Make sure this new daycare is interactive, loving and safe! Pop in and visit unannounced to see how things really work etc. GL

M

Of course you are doing the right thing- what you are describing isn't quality care. Daycares can be wonderful places, especially when your child is actively being engaged by adults and other children, not just plopped in front of a television.

Not only will the daycare provide better care for your child than this woman, but they will provide consistent care. If the primary "teacher" is out- they will have a sub ready to go.

Good luck!

You are doing the right thing. Always trust your momma gut! i moved my son around to a few daycares and felt soooo guilty doing so but now we have an incredible one that he has thrived and grown leaps and bounds in and I think what if I had waited?! Follow your instinct and protect your baby....thats what we are made for :)

Good luck!

You are doing the right thing. There are good and bad daycares out there. You just need to do your research. There are good home daycares and there are good center daycares but there are bad in both so just keep your eyes open and don't be afraid to switch. I started my home daycare after working in a center. After my daughter was born there was no way I was going to put her in the center I worked at. It just was not a good center. I always told the parents when they started bringing their child to me to let me know right away if they were unhappy about something. I know it is hard to leave your child with someone you barely know. Be sure to build a relationship with the teachers in your child's room. You want to have an open line of communication with the person who is caring for your child. This is always so important. I am sorry you had such a bad experience but remember there are great home and center daycares out there and I am sure you will find what you are looking for.

I hope you son is liking the new daycare. You have to make choices that are best for your family and your job.

We had a similar situation with our first sitter. My Mom! She always had dr. appts., always wanting to take trips to visit family, so I would have to take off too. It just got to be too inconsistant.

A good daycare will be one where as long as your child is healthy, you can consistantly count on them being open, you child learning, and your child being happy.

Not all daycares are bad. My kids LOVE my current daycare provider like she's family. They sing songs. Bake cookies. Play music. Do art projects. Take field trips to Chik-fil-a with handmade cow masks. Go on walks. Learn reading/writing. They are sad when she is closed or they are sick.

Oh yes, it is definitely time to move on! I think there are plenty of great daycare facilities out there. Many churches, school districts and privately owned and operated facilities offer great programs. Just take tours of them, find out what their mission statements or philosophies are and how comfortable you feel in each one. A good facility should be clean, bright and inviting for children. The kids should do a variety of age-appropriate activities that engage the senses through play, emphasize social skills and physical development. Brain-based research shows that from birth to five years old are years that children learn a vast amount of skills in language, music, reading, math etc. The pathways in their little brains are developing so rapidly at this time it is jaw dropping, so the more opportunities to engage kids' minds in a variety of ways is vital. God bless this babysitter for being a loving and caring woman, but sitting kids in front of the tv all day is not acceptable.
Just thank her for her time and leave it at that if you want. You really don't have to give her an explanation beyond that. Or if you do, just tell her you have found a program that is going in an educational direction you are interested in for your son. Good luck!
A.

all daycares are not bad...there are some creepy hateful people working in daycare centers, just the same as there are private, in house caregivers. you did the right thing. you have to put your childs interests first.

she is a babysitter (probably very inexpensive) not a daycare.........YOU always need to do what YOU think is right for your children

You're doing the right thing. There are good and bad types of EVERY kind of care! The woman watching him now is a sitter and she's probably not up for actually doing what she's doing every day. She's also of a generation who thought nothing of letting the kiddos play or watch tv while they watched (all of my daytime sitters as a child watched their "stories"). You and your son will probably be much happier. If she's 64 and been watching kids for any number of years, she's had people move on before.

Make the best choice for your family- always. Obviously the sitter makes the best choices for her. We had the same situation with our sitter-- and although she was much cheaper than daycare, she was less reliable and it was stressful enough as a working parent.
Daycare is great-- although I waited until my children were 3&4 for daycare, they learned so much and are so independent!!

You are doing the right thing....sounds like your current sitter just isn't equipped to deal with kids that need to be mobile and stimulated.

You are doing the right thing. You can't work or not work based on this woman's health which doesn't sound good. Also, now that your child is getting older, it will be great for him to be somewhere where they are trying to teach him something, even if it is only social skills, and he's not sitting in front of the television all day.