Daytime Napping

Hi, J.. My son did the same thing. Unfortunately, I ended up just relying on his swing. It allowed him to sleep well and it worked for us. At night time, he slept in his crib with no problem so I didn't worry too much about it. At around 4 months, though, we ended up hitting a wall and after getting some scheduling advise put him on a different schedule and after just a few days he made the transition pretty well. If you have a swing and don't mind that, it worked for us for a few months! Good luck! :)

Have you tried swaddling her up real tight in a blanket? My daughter resisted at first but I persisted and pretty soon she slept longer and better because she wasn't thrashing around waking herself up. If she puts up a fight (which she probably will) try playing some white noise or soothing music and rocking her to calm her down while she's wrapped up. Good luck!

I learned with my three children that putting them to sleep while they were in their own room helped. I would have to rock them to sleep then once they were deeply sleeping, I would very slowly an gently place them in their crib. I would ever so slowly slide my arm out from under their little head, so as not to even nudge them. It seemed to work every time. Tyr to keep the routine consistent and try a little background noise, whether music or a fan, or humidifier running. That helps them tune out any noise that may suddenly wake them.

My 8 week old son is the same way. The only way he will nap is if he is napping on me or even in his bouncy chair. I put the vibrating sensation on in his bouncy chair and lay a light blanket over him. He will sleep for an hour or so in his bouncy. He sleeps great in his crib at night, but just doesn't like it for nap time. I wouldn't worry too much about it. I'm sure your little one will take naps in her crib soon. If you have a bouncy chair you might want to try that! Good luck!

Hi J.,

Your daughter may be used to the warmth she feels from you, during this time. In the beginning, my daughter wouldn't sleep at all, unless we were holding her. My doctor recommended warming some towels in the dryer or a neck wrap in the microwave and laying it in her bed. When your ready to put her down, take the towels/neck wrap out and lay her down. The bed will slowly cool, rather than feeling your warm body next to her and then immediately the cool bed. Make sure she is swaddled tightly. I also rolled up a small blanket and tucked it vertically under her shoulder and hip, so she was laying slightly on her side. I hope this helps. Also, I do recommend sleeping with her. It's such a good bonding moment and she will sleep for hours this way! Good luck!

sounds like maybe shes not tired enough! Try 2 naps a day around 11am and 3pm! Play with her, then feed her and she should pass right out. That worked good for us with our daughter, they always fall asleep when their tired no matter where it is. Good luck!

My daughter was similar. I got tired of the sitting up routine so I lay down with her in a bed until she fell asleep. If I waited about 20 minutes, I was usually able to get up without her waking up. At 14 weeks old, babies want to be near mommy and feel anxious without her... a baby that didn't cry when mom left her would not survive in prehistoric times...

You might try getting a t-shirt of yours that you've worn and not washed (so it smells like you) and putting that in the crib to see if that helps. I've also heard of people getting a fabric bag of rice, heating in a microwave so it is warm, then wrapping the t-shirt around that. She may not be fooled, though!

Have you tried playing music for her? My son was the same way, he had to be held for his naps and it was driving me and my husband crazy. My mom (who is also my sitter) started playing clasical music for him when she would start rocking him to sleep. Once he's asleep she puts him down, but keeps the music on. He'll sleep for up to 2 hours now without being held. She also plays Indian pipe music and Cecltic music.
Maybe try playing soft music for her while you rock her to sleep and once she is alseep try putting her down.
Hope this helps some,
N.

Hi J.,

My son really did not sleep in his crib until he was 1 1/2 - 2 and then only occasionally! While I did not practice attachment parenting - I think that is what he wanted! I was unable to get him to nap unless he was held or riding in the car. I did get good at many a chore with one hand! That Maya wrap might work for you if you are willing to carry her around while she sleeps. I wish I had broken down and paid the price for one (I think about $50ish 5 years ago at Bestfed in Glendale) - would have made washing dishes that much easier (and quicker!).

SOO many parents told me I was spoiling him by holding him while he slept...but the crying to sleep NEVER worked with my boy - and other than feeling a little sleep deprived myself at times (unless I napped with him) & feeling like I got nothing else accomplished - I didn't mind. Now he is 5 1/2 and I so dearly miss those quiet cuddle times, afternoon naps, or even folding laundry while he slept on my lap.

Oh, something our doctor suggested (but I never tried) was a "riding-in-in-the-car" simulation thing for the crib. I have no idea how much something like that would cost but it might be worth it if you will be going back to work and needing to take your daughter to a sitter?

I guess do what works best. Good luck! =)

J.-My baby was like that too (she's 4 months now). She was always taking naps in my arms and it was so sweet. But, knowing that she would eventually have to go to daycare, I knew I had to figure something out. One day, I put her down to nap 7 times! When she cried I picked her up and went about our business at home, and then when she was tired again I put her down to nap again. The most she slept was 20 minutes that day. But the next day, she slept for an hour. Your baby is still young enough that I don't think you can expect her to be on a regular nap schedule, but we started getting 5 one hour naps throughout the day. If we go somewhere in the car, she will sleep in her carseat for ~2 hours. I think it is very common for babies that age. Also, I think it's good for both of you to sleep together sometimes. I wasn't always tired for the morning nap, but would sleep with my baby in the afternoon. I think this situation is not a problem unless you feel like it's a problem.

My son used to wake up as soon as I put him down too! I held him for the first 4 months even showering with him and sleeping with him in a chair. It was the only way I could get any rest! Do you have any of those baby carriers that snuggle baby close to your body? Like the Maya wrap or Over the Shoulder Baby Holder? (You can find them pretty cheap on Craigslist) I found those to be effective. They allowed me to move about, even cook dinner while he napped and it freed up my arms. I also loved napping when he napped. It helped keep me sane.

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In my opinion, the longer you let her fall a asleep in your arms the harder it is going to be to get her to sleep in her own room at naptime. I would set a schedule and put her down when she is awake. My kids are fully awake when they go to bed, so most of the time they entertain themselves in their cribs until they are sleepy. Then they usually fall asleep on their own. Good Luck

J., I learned this one the hard way with my first son. My Mom got him used to taking naps on the couch with the TV on while I was at work. It took a few days but I had to put him down and leave him there until he fell asleep from crying. He was a little younger than your daughter so you will want to be sure she cannot get out of the crib on her own.
This will throw your routines off completely until she gets used to it. You can sit in the room with her and hold her hand the first time or two.
I am learning now more with my second son. Everything they do and want is based on what we have trained them to expect. It is up to us to train or retrain them to expect what we want them to have.
Be strong!

J.,

It sounds like you've got it figured out. It's okay to hold your baby while she naps, in fact it's great. She'll be able to nap on her own eventually. Try putting her down again in a week or two and see if it doesn't work for you then. She wants to be close to you, and who can blame her? You certainly won't "spoil" her by holding her too much. When she's ready, she'll lay down by herself, and it'll probably be sooner than you expect. I had the same situation with both of my little ones, and they both nap just fine on their own now. So, if you can be patient and let her set the pace, you'll have a secure, happy little girl.

Cheers!

A.

At 14 weeks, I was a true believer that when baby naps, Mama naps. Lay down with her (safely) and get a few winks yourself. If she's sleeping in her crib at night, I wouldn't worry about naps around the house (after all, we all like to nap on the couch every once in a while right?). Enjoy this time, she'll stop napping before you know it, and then your naps stop too.
Good luck

J., my son was the same way when he was about that age; I spent a lot of time reading while he napped. If I remember correctly, around 5 months, maybe a little earlier, he started napping in his crib; I think I even started with him in his infant seat in his crib or sometimes on his floor (funny how you forget these things), because he slept more soundly there (he really liked to be cozy). Do you swaddle your daughter? That helped, too. The "Miracle Blanket" saved us! I'm about to start this all over again, so these are good reminders! Best of luck, G.

neither of our girls were good "nap in the crib" kiddos until about 6-8 months, even though they were sleeping in their cribs at night. We had to use our swing most days during the day for them to sleep. They both grew out of that, and at 8 months and 2.5 years, they both take naps in their beds, in their rooms.

I have three kids and I had to sleep train them all, but once I did they were all amazing nappers (2-3 hours during the day and all night). I like the book BabyWise, it gets a bad reputation but just don't follow it too strictly. The whole premise is the put your baby on a schedule of eat/play/sleep throughout the day. You may have to put her down and let her fuss for a little while, keep coming in the pat her back and soothe her but you really want her to learn to soothe herself. It's hard now, but it will really pay off in the long run. My last daughter was my most challenging and I bought a noise machine (onestepahead has one that plays different sounds like the ocean) and I also put dark sheets on the windows.

I just wanted to wish you good luck! I had the same problem...and here I am with an 8 month old, still holding him for all his naps! We tried for months to get him in the crib and I was losing my mind. Finally I decided to accept it and I have been much happier since. We got headphones for our TV, so I just Tivo everything I want to watch and get caught up on American Idol and stuff while he is napping on my lap. I actually kind of like it now because it gives me a break, where as when I did get him in the crib for a nap (like 3 times ever haha) i would just run myself ragged with chores.

You might want to try swaddling your baby in a blanket before holding her to go to sleep during the day. MY youngest wouldn't go to sleep unless she was wrapped up snuggly in a receiving blanket. She is now 18 years old but I remembered this clearly when you wrote. Good luck.

Hi J.,
I had major problems getting my child to nap in her crib and sleep all night mainly because I used to nurse her to sleep and she did not know how to go to sleep on her own she would sleep on me just fine and that is how I was letting her take her naps.

I tried everything from trying to put her down drowsy, laying down and sleeping with her to letting her cry it out.

Finally, when she was 14 months I found a great book called "Good Night, Sleep Tight" by Kim West. I had been trying to wean her and was having major difficulties weaning her because of her sleep issues.

This book helped me BIG TIME. Do not get me wrong, it was not easy, but I was determined to stick with it and it has worked.

Basically, it is a book that is a gentler method to just letting cry it out alone. You get her to lay down in her crib on her own and stay in there with her until she goes to sleep. My child threw tantrums and it took me almost two hours to get her to sleep for the first few days but it got easier.

I had to do a modified version because my child was used to being nursed to sleep, so I rubbed on her to get her to sleep and after I she got used to being rubbed to sleep, then I rubbed her a little less and a little less until I finally made her go to sleep on her own and it was much easier that way.

Now, my child takes two naps a day in her crib and for the most part she sleeps all night and has been completely weaned. It has taken me over a month to get to this point, especially not crying and throwing tantrums when I put her down. She is 15 1/2 months now.

It is going to take you being determined to follow through with it. I hope this helps because I was to my wits end when I finally found this book and now I am so much happier and so is my child. I would definately cut your child down to two naps even if you do not want to use this approach. Good Luck.

My daughter was the same way! We held her all day long for the first 3 months and I also worried myself sick about it. The advice I got was to hold her as much as she needed - babies this young need to feel secure with their mommies (and daddies), and if you foster this bond they will grow to be secure in themselves. So, I held her and at around 3 1/2 months old she started to take naps on her own and also would "play" (as much as they can at that age...) by herself. She is a wonderful sleeper now. I personally couldn't let her cry when she was that young. They are only this little and this needy once, so I say hold your baby girl when she needs it!

You poor thing. I know what you're going thru as my first wouldn't sleep in her basinet or crib AT ALL! When I would get her down in her crib - I learned the art of moving around in TOTAL silence, but that was still rare. Well, she did start napping much better at TWO, but w/that said, my 2nd was a dream . . until around 3 months when he started refusing to take naps in his crib. He was still absolutely fine going down at night. I made sure the room was as dark as I could get it; put classical music on; a fan for "white noise"; rocked him with a blankie/toy just until he started dozing; and when I put him down, I'd sit in the rocking chair next to his crib until he was asleep. He did wake up & cry, but would cry only for a bit & then go to sleep (cuz afterall, he was almost there when I put him down). He's almost 2 now & we still go thru phases, but I still do the SAME routine. When she gets old enough to look for you - Keep your head down & do NOT look at her. (I got this from the Super Nanny when my daughter was younger & it WORKS!!) My son would look at me to make sure I was still there but laid right back down. With the little one, you might want to "shh" her (to let her know you're still right there) - or not. Letting my daughter know I was still there just made her mad that I wasn't picking her up. Whatever you try - be consistent & stick to your guns for at least a couple days before you decide it doesn't work. As moms, listening to them cry is the hardest thing & we want so badly to cave. Caving makes it just that much harder (see the info on my 1st child ;) GOOD LUCK!! And don't stress - we all do the best we can!

J., I have raised 4 babies. Babies love to feel you when they are sleeping. They love to be cuddled, don't we all?
That is why it can be hard to keep them in their own beds.
After mine feel asleep I cuddled a while and then used a blanket rolled up or a safe cuddly toy, (bear usually) that had my smell on it. It requires you sleeping with the blanket/toy or if you have a scent you wear lightly put it on the object. Be very careful what you choose. Make sure that the object can not obstruct her breathing in any way. As itty bitties I put the object behind the baby. BE SAFE!

The toy idea also worked when I needed to be gone over night while they were young, the object can become a placeholder of love.
The child can think of you when they cuddle it. It worked for me.
I am a conscious mom and even if they were cuddled up sleeping I continually checked on my babies and got alot done. Do your best not to feel guilty sitting with her. Your bonding. You are still getting back to balance and she is new here. RELAX...
My youngest is 18 and oldest 40. I raised the 4 (3 girls) of them on my own. You are lucky to have this vehicle and it is great that you use it. You must be a GREAT MOM!
Good Luck!

J. - I'll tell you what I've said to other people here.

#1 Get a heartbeat bear. Target sells them for $20ish. It has a velcro strap on the back so that you can "tie" him to the crib and out of the way. There is a little knob on the back that turns the bear on. It sounds like a heartbeat from inutero. Cycles off after about 45 minutes. My oldest STILL sleeps with hers (she's 7) and will still on occasion turn him on.

#2 If your daughter has no health issues (asthma etc.) put her on her tummy. I know that everyone is all about "back to sleep" but this is relatively new. I'm 37, I have a sister who is 9 years younger than I am. When she was a baby, doctors recommended NOT to put them on their backs. Babies like to sleep on their tummies as they can curl up - it's called the fetal position for a reason!! Babies can curl up in the position they lived in for the first 9 months of their lives. It was safe, it was warm - then things changed.

I have 2 kids - both of them were GREAT nappers and have each slept thru the night from 6 weeks on. Ok - #1 not so much - I tried the "back to sleep" thing and she slept TERRIBLE! When I put her on her tummy she slept great. I tried it for naps first so I could check on her as often as I wanted. She slept like a dream!

Those are my suggestions. My second daughter is 2 - she still also uses her bear for naps and bedtime. And other than those 2 things, all I've got to say is good luck!!

Enjoy your time with her and be close :). It really just goes too fast, and then they want nothing to do with you. She'll probably go down to 2 naps before you know it anyway. You could always buy a wrap, sling and/or carrier and just let her be close, but still have freedom to get stuff done. Let me know if you want any recommendations.

Hi J. - Have you by chance tried your car seat? My 10 week old son just recently started sleeping in his crib. When we brought him home from the hospital, the only place he would sleep soundly was in the car seat, it was a smaller space and he snuggled right in with a blanket - slept like a champ! I use the car seat now for his naps during the day. Also, my car seat allows for it to be rocked a bit on the floor, so I get him settled into the chair and then rock the chair a bit and in no time he goes to sleep.

Not to worry your daughter is so wonderful take the opportunity to love and hold her; it will not last for long pretty sonn she will be graduating from highschool!
I'm a nurse also with my major field in neonatal/pediatrics; soon she will have leess napping and will nap in her crib. She loves to be held and as she grows older she will graduate to her crib. Good luck and enjoy!

J.,

Sometimes you have to let them cry...and we don't like to hear them cry. Feed and bath her and she will go back to sleep. My grandson woke up every 2 hours for a bottle..until I realized he wasn't full..putting a little cereal in his formula filled his little tummy and he slept for than 2 hours.

A friend of mine's told me that her grandson would not sleep unless he was "swaddled". She told me it made him feel safe and he went right to sleep.

Try a swing if you can, my daughters am naps were 3-4 hours in that thing. Also many afternoons until 6 moinths, I held her while she slept, watched tv (keep it kid friendly and not too violent) Soon you'll wish you could just hold her again.

J.,
What about routines? Is there a nighttime bed routine she's getting, that maybe she also needs for naps? Singing? Swaddling? Changing clothes? Turning out the lights? Anything you can also put into her nap times?

Just a suggestion:)
T