My daughter is pretty good about going to bed - we've had a routine in place for some time now, with brushing teeth, jammies, stories and some cuddle time. But by the end of the day, I am really tired and I just it all to go smoothly, and be calm and peaceful, and DD (almost 5) wants to act all silly and keep pushing my limits.
She wants my help getting undressed but then keeps dancing away. During cuddle time, she wants me to tickle her and act all crazy with her, but I don't because I know that will only get her all worked up. She wants me to kiss her on the lips but then sticks her tongue out at the last second so I can't. She keeps sticking her fingers in my face and trying to pinch my nose and I've told her over and over again not to do that but she doesn't listen. I try to give her one last hug and kiss goodnight and she's grabs my arm as I am trying to leave, won't let go, and insists on me staying longer. I end up running out of patience and having to tell her VERY firmly (almost yelling) that that's ENOUGH - Mommy is TIRED, it is BEDTIME and NO MORE ACTING SILLY, it is TIME for SLEEP.
I've tried giving her a head's up beforehand that if she starts acting up too much at bedtime, the cuddle time will be cut short. And then when she still is pulling all the shenanigans, I announce that now cuddle time is over, because Mommy doesn't like how she is acting. I get up and walk out of the room, she acts all upset but if I come back, it starts all over again. Next night? Same thing.
Like I said, I am tired at the end of the day. I want bedtime to be relaxed and pleasant, not me telling her over and over again to behave, to listen, to cut it out, etc. DD just doesn't care about any of that. Any ideas about how to help our bedtime routine go a little more smoothly instead of getting off-track? TIA!
Just FYI - it would be pretty tough it move up her bedtime any earlier than it already is...where we are it's light out until almost 9:30 pm right now and she's not ready for bedtime at 8! But I appreciate the suggestion nonetheless.
Girls are SO silly and giggly.
Women can be no fun.
When you tell her it's time for sleep and she acts cuckoo, either act cuckoo with her or tell her you are leaving the room, gnite, and DONT go back in for the second round, she'll get the hint.
I have a son who is 5.
But my son, he does this sometimes, and it is because he is trying to bond with me. And I can tell. Not that we don't bond the rest of the day. But at bedtime, for some reason, he likes to do this. He likes to be goofy with me and make me laugh. And then after the goofiness... he will hug me and be all cuddly and he will simmer down by himself, and he will tell me "I love you soooooo much Mommy. You're the best in the whole wide world. Sweet dreams."
I know my son. And this is what he does. At bedtime. At times.
Other than that, my son is a champ at bedtime and there are no battles.
Try moving up your daughter's bedtime. It's not for punishment. It's so she can have some time to be silly with you, because she will remember in the future that she had wonderful, silly times with Mama when she was a little girl.
Set a clock or timer twice. The first time means, "Silly time is done, and now we'll read a book or two together." (Notice that the book time comes *after* the play time.) The second time means your daughter gets to sleep.
This will give you time to rest at night, but she can have fun with you as well.
In addition, make sure she doesn't have too much sugar at night.... :^)
Would it hurt to play a little to help her get those last minute 'ants in her pants' out? I think you are are just fueling the fire by telling her to stop. As you stated, it isn't working. I know you are tired, I get that, but just try to play just enough to get HER tired. It's a thought :) Good luck!
Maybe your girl needs a designated "Silly Five Minutes" *before* starting the bedtime routine. I have a kid who isn't silly-- his time-wasting is basically stalling. Tonight we asked him to put his pajamas on early, which was good because he spent 20 minutes in various states of undress while making a 'booby trap' of musical instruments in his doorway.
I'm going to suggest a modification of our routine which might work for your family: 40 minutes before bedtime, give her that five minutes of silly time on a timer. When the timer goes ding, set it again. Let her know that when the timer goes *ding* this next time, you are saying 'goodnight'. Take her into the bathroom and brush her teeth first, then have her put her pajamas on. If she goofs around and starts the silly play, remove yourself from the room and tell her "come get me when you are dressed". At this point, it's on her and she's at an age where she can learn this. Whatever time is left can be used for stories or cuddles-- maybe she will have to choose to have two stories and a few minutes of cuddle time, or one story and more cuddles. Say your goodnights when the timer goes off and leave the room.
By the way, I did like Mary's suggestion very much, it just didn't include the pajamas, which can be their own entire creature, which was why I went into a bit more detail. In any case, you'll find what works best for your family!
Is it possible she's overtired? My daughter does stuff like this (4.5) when she is just so dog-gone tired she can't even function, like she's slap happy! With summer in full swing, we have been so busy and high heat combined with crazy schedule and pool time, she's been a nut!
Maybe try moving up her bedtime like Mary said so she can go to bed earlier and be better the next day!
Or it's possible she's just goofy and is trying to get in all her fun cuddle/goofy/play time before she's "forced" to retire for the night! Try not to loose your temper but play it straight and let her know that you'll kiss her/hug her/read to her, etc. when she's acting nicely.
ETA...lightness does not factor into our bedtime here!! I tell my kids that no matter if it's light or not, when it's bed time it's bed time! Invest in some black out shades! What time does she get up? 9:30 is an awfully late daily bedtime for a 5 year old. I know it's summer, but still...I'd lose my mind if my kids went to bed that late!
OMG I could have written this exact post for my almost five year old this past week - but she shares a room with her almost 3 year old brother, so I have two of them bouncing off the beds (literally) at bedtime when I KNOW they are tired!! I have (once this week) turned out the lights, said I love you and Goodnight and walked out - leaving them stunned because they didn't get tucked in, books, prayers or songs. But I had threatened to leave the room if they didn't quiet down. Hubby agreed they were so slap happy that it was better to leave them. Sure enough, the tears showed up as soon as I left the room. Hubby went in a few minutes later, made sure they understood why I left and then I went back in and continued with prayers and songs but they lost their story time that night (which I hate to do).
So while I don't have much advice, I wanted to let you know I feel your pain!! I want their last memory before falling asleep to be one of content, happiness, cuddling, kisses, hugs and happiness. Not mommy yelling at them to stop 'having fun'. LOL
That being said - maybe you should start the bedtime routine 5 mins earlier and ONLY spend that time ticking, laughing, cuddling, playing in her bed. THat way you can then say "OKay, now it's time to get ready for bed" and brush her teeth, etc. That may help if she can 'get it out of her system' before you start the other bedtime routine? Good luck!
my son tried this too, and occasionally still does (he's 5).
i was like you, exhausted and just not in the mood. i told him that if he was silly and not doing what he was supposed to, bedtime was now. skipping cuddles, books, kisses and hugs, whatever. i would leave the room when he started it. it was hard because the last thing i want to see before i go to bed at night is his sweet face, but acting like that just gets HIM riled up too, so that it's harder for him to sleep. bedtime is for calming down. so when he would push things i would give him a warning, and a few times i did have to leave with no goodnight kiss :( but he has gotten much better about getting down to business. (yes, sometimes he would cry himself to sleep - it sucked!)
oh and i don't adjust bedtime for daylight savings or summer time - 8:00 is bedtime, period. they get used to it. a firm bedtime is super important to me. (but then we have to get up in the morning, and can't be flexible with wakeup times)
i hate having to squelch that irrepressible preschool light that shines in them. but there's just a time and a place. and bedtime isn't it.
I have a 5 year old and have gone thru some of this (tongue in the mouth included). We have a race to get jammies on (yes I put mine on) and then the winner of tooth brushing is who brushes the longest. The winner picks the book or occasional CAillou to watch. It is hard if you are fried. I really try to look at it this way: in 10 years I will long for these days. Have fun and try to enjoy this time, maybe change your approach to make it fun with end limits. Every stage ends at some point.
