De-stress My Husband Ideas!

I think your doing a great job doing what your doing. Sometimes when I make my husbands lunch I put a small love note inside. He thinks its silly but he tells me it makes him feel good. Do you have time for a date night, dinner and a movie?? If that is to expensive then wait until you put your toddler to bed and make a romantic dinner together and rent a movie. Sometimes just really communicating can make someone feel stress free. Doing things together is great and don't do it all yourself. Its ok for him to help when he gets home. I can see your a wonderful wife and I bet he appreciates all that you do. A nice back massage will help him also. Maybe you can get a job selling Avon or something like that. Its actually fun and you can make some money. I did that when I was younger with little ones at home with me. Its something you can do while pregnant. Good luck!

Holy cow, your husband is a very lucky guy! If you're SUPERWOMAN now, what were you before while you were working?! jeesh....I would think it would be him wondering how to take the stress load from you! ENJOY your time at home with your kids and your husband, WORRYING does NOT bring in more money! Remind him of all the good things in life you SHARE together......and the good things to come, new baby! Remind yourself, this too shall pass, financial setbacks tend to work themselves out over time, the GOOD stuff you already have, health,home, children......give yourself a break, Mom!

My first advice is rent the movie fireproof. There is a book but I have not read it. It has wonderful ideas in the movie. It really help my relationship with my hubby. First Dont say anything negative to him, 2nd make a call to him out of the blue just to say hey I am thinking about you, If he takes his lunch slip a note in. The movie suggests buy a gift a some point for no reason but that really depend if you can afford something. It can be something small. Offer him a back rub. Just keep telling him things, I appreciate you, I love you, Thanks for your hard work. We forget the small stuff but it does help.

Another idea you can try is make a candle light dinner. I have 4 kids so one night I put my kids in a room to watch TV and had a 30 minute dinner with just the hubby.

Examine your family's spending habits and see if there is some way you can trim expenses. That might help. Maybe you could change cable tv providers, for instance, and take advantage of those 6-month reduced price introductory offers. Maybe your long-distance phone provider has some cheaper rates available that you could research. Call your credit card companies and ask for reduced interest ratesn (don't tell them you aren't working, just tell them that OTHER credit card companies have offered you a cheaper rate). These are small things, but take some time to do, yet have positive financial results for your family. Now that you have a little time on your hands, clip coupons or really shop the sales at the grocery store. Check out consignment stores when your child needs new clothes (I do this, and have found that many of the clothes still have the original tags on them, yet cost only a dollar or two!)

If your husband sees how you are really trying hard to save every penny he earns, that will make him happy. It sounds like you are doing a wonderful job already keeping up the house and watching your child, and I am sure he appreciates that!

We were in a slightly similar situation last year when I was laid off from a high-paying job. At the time, my salary was ~65% of our income, but I think more of the stress was on me vs. him.

If you were to ask my husband, his answer would be typical male - sex. That seems to be his favorite stress release. Not always an option, though (more often not).

Being pregnant limits some of what you can do - I was going to recommend things like mowing the yard and doing some of the things around the house that he usually does.

Is it possible to come-up with a feasible budget, identify areas you may have some flexibility, and perhaps offer him a night/week that he can do something he enjoys? For my husband, it may be meeting some friends for dinner, renting a movie and having a few hours to watch it, etc. It doesn't always have to be expensive, but he may just need some time away from being in the crossfires.

Good luck to you all - I hope you're able to return to work soon and have a good delivery.

Why don't you and he just talk about it?
I am sure, with him being the bread winner now, he has certain opinions/feelings on it. Have you both talked about it? Even just venting and commiserating about it.... together. Then that way, you are both on the same page, hopefully.... and beyond the daily budget watching.

See what he expects if anything, and what you expect... in light of the current situation. If you both are open about it... then there will be less "stress" overall and not both spouses just trying to read each other's mind and missing the boat or not.

Also, even if you are the one home now... that does not necessarily mean that he does "not" have to do child/home things. And that you do "all" of it. But each couple is different.

all the best,
Susan

You're already doing a lot, especially being pregnant. I'm in the same situation now as well (home and pregnant). My husband takes his lunch to work everyday, so I try to have most of it ready for him to just grab and go in the morning. For instance, he eats hard-boiled eggs for a morning snack, so while I'm making dinner, I throw them on the stove to boil. Then he can just grab them in the morning and not have to think about them. I don't think there are too many major things (other than those you mentioned), but I do occasionally notice little things that help him out. He usually pulls the trash cans around on trash night, so I try to remember to do that before he gets home and it's one less thing he has to do when he gets home. He enjoys the chance to come home and just relax and play with our daughter, so I try to make that a reality for him. (Plus I enjoy that time to myself while they are playing!) Just watch what he does when he gets home or when he gets around in the morning, and then step in to help if possible.

Also, I saw one of your earlier posts about losing your job - I'm not sure what you did before, but if you have an advanced degree, you might consider looking in to teaching classes online. The business is booming and many of the online universities are looking for professionals to teach a class or two. I do this and it takes about an hour a day and gives us an extra $1000/month. If you want more info, just message me. :)

cut wherever you can. don't spend. spend time alone together. touch often!