Dealing with Depression and Stress During the Holidays

Updated on August 19, 2007
M.Y. asks from Kalamazoo, MI
14 answers

I'm not even sure where to begin. I have been under a lot of stress for the last several months and it is quickly turning in too depression. We hit a financial snag back in July, but at this point we seem to be recovering decently. Christmas isn't everything I had hoped it would be. The past two years Christmas has been down right awful, we've had no money and we worked way to many hours just to make ends meet. Now we are doing better, but because of the financial snag we are not were we had hoped. I am working a ton of hours, still trying to recover completely from the month of July. I feel like I never see my kids and when I do I am so stressed or tired or both that all I do is yell, I'm sure it is not all I do, but their are days that it feels that way. My husband is stressed to the max and ended up with shingles a few months ago (the doctor said it was brought on by the extrodanairy (sp?) amount of stress he is under) he also stops eating when he gets stressed and is losing weight daily....this is not helping my stress level at all. Most days I feel like a total failure, which only adds to the depression. I want to speak with my doctor, but am unsure how. I would like to ask about perscriptions that might help, but feel silly, like that is somehow a cop-out. And even if I did ask, I don't know anything about any of the drugs. I talked to a friend of mine who is on prozak and she said it worked great to mellow her out and help her relax. She said to stay away from wellbutrin, because it can cause weight gain...which is the last thing I need seeing as I am already struggling to lose weight and also struggling to not gain anymore! Other than that I don't have the slightest idea about the drugs on the market or how to approach my doctor. I know that exercise is also helpful in relieving stress and depression, but it is so hard to get up and do anything more than absolutly necessary at this point. I find myself avoiding people and places...I've only been to church once in the last two months or so which is just not like me, we are normally their every Sunday and whenever the doors are open for something. Any info or suggestions would be helpful, I just want to get back to feeling good, feeling like myself.

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So What Happened?

Thanks to everyone who responded. It made me feel like I wasn't alone and like it's okay to ask for help. I haven't made a doctors appt. yet, but I did purchase and start taking St Johns Wort. I have also cut back my work week by one day, it will mean less spending cash, but at least I'll get to actually sleep, whcih I think could be part of my problem. Thanks again!

More Answers

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N.W.

answers from Detroit on

If you are able to talk to your doctor see if they can recommend a therapist or write a prescription if you really need it. Try to remember you just need to work through it and it will get better. My family decided to downsize christmas this year, not because of financial reasons, just becuase it seems like we were making too big a deal of the presents. It has totally helped alleviate stress. Your children are still young and will not notice a smaller holiday-- so don't feel bad about that.

Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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C.C.

answers from Kalamazoo on

Hi M.,
I myself have suffered on and off with depression since I was about 17, I've been on wellbitrin, paxil, and lexapro, Lexapro seemed to work the best for me, and the paxil, not at all, I would contact your doctor and talk to them about it, they know more about it then we do, Just tell your doctor how you are feeling, and that you want to mellow out your mood, maybe they can offer some other none medice options if you prefer those, Good luck, and dont ever be afraid to ask your doctor for help, and tell them what is wrong that is why they are your doctor!

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K.V.

answers from Detroit on

M. I know that this has been closed but there is one avenue that people didn't address. Go back to church. The support that you will receive is invaluable. You may even be able to receive free counciling from your pastor or he may refer you to a chuch member that is a licensed psychologist and will see you for free or reduced rate because you are a member of the same church. Most importantly, keep the faith, keep praying.

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T.A.

answers from Detroit on

I have depression and anxiety and am just going to try Wellbutrin. Now I'm not so sure, I don't want the weight gain. I'm going off Cymbalta and that didn't seem to have any side effects but I don't think it was working for me. Please don't be afraid to talk to your doctor but try and see a Psychiatrist. Make sure you see someone you get a good referral about. I'm seeing Dr. Jamsek in Birmingham. So far so good. She isn't drug crazy, in fact she is helping me go down on too many medications I was taking. The depression is worse than ever, but we have to make the adjustments. I was once referred to a Psychiatrist by my family Dr. (picked out of a book of referrals) and he was a quack. Be very careful who you see. If Dr. Jamsek is not in your plan maybe she could refer someone she knows. Good Luck.

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G.W.

answers from Detroit on

I have been off and on Prozac for the past 6 years. It's never caused any weight gain. It's never affected my desire for sex, but it has made it more difficult to climax at times.
They tried me on Welbutrin once, but within days I was swelled up so bad I couldn't even walk. So I didn't stay on that one and went back to Prozac.

Another thing that could help greatly is going and speaking with a therapist. If money is tight you can try http://macombcountymi.gov/communitymentalhealth/index.htm

Through that I was set up with a center called the Oakland Psychological Clinic. The Medicaid I'm on covers my visits completely, but they also figure out how much it would end up costing if you lose your insurance. I would have to pay around $50 a month without the Medicaid. Their website is www.OakPsych.com and the phone number is###-###-####

Just having somebody to go talk to about it all helps immensely.

Good luck with it all.

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T.

answers from Detroit on

Don't be afraid to ask your doctor about depression. You can go on a dose as a type of maintenance to help you even out. Do talk to your doctor and don't be ashamed about it!!! It is nothing to be ashamed about!!!

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C.V.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Hey M.,
I'm sorry you feel this way. I think that because of society Christmas has become very materialistic. I know it is easy to say but try not to stress over buying presents and things like that for Christmas. Over the past couple of years my family has downsized the presents alot. It isn't about presents its about family. Be grateful that everyone is here and healthy. I lost two important people this year and would give all the presents to have them back. My husband and I have had money problems on and off so I understand the stress that comes with that. Try and do little things for yourself, take a bath, take a walk, ect.
I think you should talk to your doctor about depression if you think that is what you have. Don't be embarrased about it. Sometimes life gets to much for us to to handle and if we need help then ask for it.
I don't know how much help I was but know that there are people who care. Good luck
Chris

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K.H.

answers from Detroit on

M., This is normal stuff that happens to people andit is normal to be on medication as well. I have been on medication for 5 years now and glad I am cause it keeps me calm. Your friend is wrong about the Welbutrin that is the only antidepresant drup that does not cause weight gain. They give this drug to people to help loose weight. But if only helps depression. You are having some anxiety that causes depression so that would not work for you. You need something like a Lexapro or Celexa something that balance out both depression and anxiety. You feel better after a while but it takes about 2 weeks to a month to really start working. All of the medicication causes weight gain. But it will make you feel better. Good Luck to you.

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K.K.

answers from Detroit on

Don't be afraid to talk to your doctor. A lot of people go through similar situations as you, and your children will be much happier with less-stressed and happier parents. I talked to my doctor a few years ago about my depression, after I witnessed my roommate committ suicide and within 2 weeks another good friend and my grandfather both passed away. On top of that, I was suddenly given more responsibility at work, but not given any more pay and was expected to complete 3 times as much work without ever working overtime. Let's just say that I was stressed. I started having panic attacks at work. I was a mess. I talked to my doctor. Let me tell you that your friends are in no position to tell you which anti-depressant you need and which ones to stay away from. This is best left up to your doctor. They take your current health issues into consideration when they determine which anti-depressant you should be taking. I think every single anti-depressant on the market has the side effect of weight gain, but then they also have the side effect of weight loss. Personally, I was taking Effexor for the anxiety, but it caused some weight gain. My doctor ADDED Wellbutrin to my regimen because he found that in most cases it causes weight LOSS. They did not just switch me from Effexor to Wellbutrin because Wellbutrin does not have any indication for anxiety. The Wellbutrin helped me bring my weight back down, and I did not have any other side effects from it, and it helped my depression on top of all that. You should also be aware that all the anti-depressants on the market will come with the warning label of "Do not consume alcoholic beverages while on this medication." There is a very small risk of seizure while taking anti-depressants (which you doctor will take into consideration) but the risk is multiplied if you consume alcohol. I don't drink anyways, so this was not an issue for me. In any case, it can take 4-6 weeks for the medication to build up in your system, so don't put it off. There is no shame in accepting a little bit of help when you are over-worked and over-stressed.

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S.S.

answers from Dallas on

I have had post partum depression since I had my first child. I didn't talk to a doctor about it until after I had my second adn then didn't really get any help until a couple months later because I was scared to ask. I was on wellbutrin for a while and it helped but I have started taking St. Johns Wort, a natural herbal supplement. It helps to promote a happy mood and I have found it to help greatly. It can be found at most any store that sells vitamins. I would recommend trying that before taking medication. I also would say to talk to your doctor. There is nothing to be ashamed of. Many people suffer needlessly from depression and that shouldn't be. I hope that you receive some help and comfort in the future.

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N.I.

answers from Detroit on

i know some what how you feel. i would talk to the doctor i would not go on drugs. try some alternatives first. like read a book, go to the mall by yourself. don't look at the fact that you don't have the money look at the fact that you are still alive. are christmas time i get alittle depressed too. i talk to people. i try to spend time to myself because i want to think. i would join a support group or a gym. get some friends together to help with the weight. i would start back going to church. i really don't know whatelse to say. these are the things that help me. christmas is a depression holiday sometime especially when you don't have the money. i am open to talk let me know. my life is no better but i make due. but i do have a question what do you do for you.

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D.F.

answers from Grand Rapids on

I have gone on and off paxil over the years. I don't think its a cop-out. I think it makes my life and interactions/actions smoother and calmer. I have been off it for a couple of years now, to get pregnant/breastfeed/try to get pregnant again (which you can take, I just wanted to be drug free). Many days I want to feel that calm again. I feel like a better wife, mother and friend when I'm on it. Pleas pick up the phone and call your doctor. There is no shame in needing help.

Therapy/seeing someone helps a lot too. It is wonderful to talk to someone who doesn't know you or your husband/mom/kids. There is no bias, just honosty and perspective.

I don't know if you are spiritual, but I have a list of prayers that always give me a boost up, I will send them too you. Please let me know if you'd like to talk more.

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A.P.

answers from Detroit on

Hello M.,

After reading your request I knew I had to write you because I have been there and certainly have felt your pain. I started a business a few yrs ago and was proud of my accomplishment but I certainly made some mistakes along the way. I knew toward the end that I was taking my family down "with" my business trying to stay a float. I even had creditors calling for payments on the worksite and home. It almost drove me nuts. But, I knew that I had to do something because it had started affecting my health and family financially. I too had begun to get depressed and I knew I couldn't let myself get that way because of my existing high blood pressure.

I am always praying to God, but this particular night was different because I kneeled down bedside my bed and I asked God again to help me and show me the way out of the situation. The next morning I was going to tackle the heart of the problem and that was my failing business. I came to terms that I had made some mistakes and that life was full of lessons and that I had learned a few. I closed the doors on my business and consulted with a credit counselor and consolidated my bills in one payment and cut up my credit cards. I am not to shame to tell it and I feel "GREAT"! I no longer am deep in debt I like to think that my debit visa card is all the credit I need and if I don't have it in my checking account...then I don't need it! I have money in the bank now and my husband and I are almost debt FREE!

Because of my situation at the time, I almost asked my doctor to prescribe me something for my depression but an RN friend of mine told me about Shaklee a health and wellness company that has been in business for 50 yrs and that there product were the best in the world. I took her advice and I take my organic supplements everyday; Energizing Soy Protein (gives me energy and I have lost weight without being on a diet. Shaklee Basics (MultiVitamin/MultiMineral)Strips and CalMag(Calcium/Magnesium)Complex. My husband and I take our supplements faithfully because they have improved my overall health and I feel great every day. I am hormonally energized and a much happier wife and mother without synthetic drugs with there side effects.

I am a member of Shaklee and you can check out my ____@____.com/adpatterson

M. your children need you. No other mother can take the place of you. Your health is you. You can be replaced on your job. Your LIFE is important!

A. P.

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V.K.

answers from Saginaw on

I didn't not talk to my doctor for years because I was afraid she'd think I was just looking for the meds. When I finally did, I ended up opting not to take the meds. After the research I did, I found it just wasn't for me. But that's not to say that it's not for you. However, in talking with my doctor and doing research, I'd say to ask your Dr. about the Wellbutrin, as you're friend may be confusing it with another. Wellbutrin is the only one that does not affect sex drive or cause weight gain. It in many cases will cause you to lose weight. Nearly every other depression med on the market will cause weight gain and sexual disinterest. Wellbutrin is related to seizures though, so if you've ever had a seizure you cannot take it.

Hope you can find some relief, but don't be afraid to talk to your doctor. Mine actually told me that there are more people on meds for depression that you would realize. She said that many of the upbeat, happy people we envy are being helped. Obviously not everyone, but she really made it seem ok to ask. Good luck!

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