Dear Friends .....a Question?

Updated on March 30, 2011
S.A. asks from Middleton, WI
17 answers

Me & my husband try to be helpful to others.One of our neighbours was very friendly with us & love our kids & we both give gifts to each other & have very friendly terms with each other.Her husband cheated on her & she was in great problem & she needed to get out of her house.In 2007 dec she came to our house,crying & telling me that she's in great problem & needs $3000.my husband was not at home & he supposed to come after 2hrs but she said ,no I'll wait for him & I need money.Me & my husband thought that she's our friend & in need so We make a check of $3000 & gave it to her.She said she's gonna give us back in 2008 april.I remember,since that year including 2007 we are paying tax in instalments.She did'nt return money ,I called her & begged her but she just return $22 out of $3000 to us & since then she do not answer our phone & sometimes she left greeting cards like last christmas & she writes I'm in great problem blah blah......
I know our habit of helping others took us to this point.please let me know any place where I should contact to get my money back,I still have check book with the check of her name with me.please let me know any legal way of taking back our back from her.

Thanks a lot

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Thank you so much for your responses.

Featured Answers

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

you need to write it off and consider it a life lesson. if you didn't get loan paperwork signed at the time, that money is gone.
it's great to help people out when they need it. but if you're not willing to make a loan legally binding, you might as well look at it as a gift right out of the gate.
khairete
S.

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C.P.

answers from Provo on

My friend just took out a judgment against someone who owes her $30,000. I don't know all the details but you can look it up or contact an attorney.

1 mom found this helpful

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A.S.

answers from Iowa City on

You can take her to small claims court. Things will go well for you if you can prove that it was a loan. Did you write loan on the check or get her to sign a promissory note? If not then it is her word against your word but the fact that she paid back $22.00 can make it appear as though she acknowledges that it was a loan and not a gift.

However, if she doesn't have any resources to pay you then even if you win in small claims court you won't get paid (blood from a rock) and you will have to pay the filing fee.

Good luck.

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T.V.

answers from San Francisco on

Dear S.,

Never beg people that owe you money. You did something out of the kindness of your heart. Your neighbor took advantage of your kindness. If she is not able to repay the loan, taking her to small claims court would be a waste of time. If she does have the capability of repaying, then do take her to small claims court.

This is a hard lesson, but I hope it will not keep you from helping people who really need help and will be sincere in paying you back. If you do lend money again, put everything in writing. Again, if the people you lend money do not and will not have the capability or character to pay back, it is often as waste of time taking them to court.

Blessings.....

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C.J.

answers from Dallas on

If you all wrote out a payback agreement or loan agreement you might have a legal case otherwise she may just say she thought it was a gift.
Have you tried working out a payment plan with her. Since she is struggling so much, she may not have the full $3000 to give, but since she did give the $22 it appears as though she knows she needs to pay you back, but maybe can't.
that feeling can be so horrible, she might be ignoring you all for that reason.
Invite her over, tell her you understand she is going through a hard time, but that the $$ was a loan and like a loan, you'd like to set up a payment plan to help her pay you all back. draft up something both of you sign it and even outline what happens when the payment is late, etc. Make a copy, give it to her and hopefully that will give you some record (even after the fact) of the situation and hopefully allow you all to get your money back.
best of luck.

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Small claims court is probably the only way you'll see that money again.
But check up on statute of limitations because it's now 2011 and you might be past it already.
Charity begins at home - namely yours.
Give to yourself first.
Get out of debt, save for retirement, save for kids college, save up a nest egg for emergencies (car dies, water heater needs replacing, sickness, unemployment) etc.
You worked for the money.
You earned it.
You deserve it - WAY MORE than anyone else.

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J.L.

answers from Chicago on

If you think she can pay you back, your recourse is small claims court. She sounds like she took advantage and was never a friend to begin with. What a manipulator.
Secondly, stop giving money to anyone!!! Most people who need to borrow money never pay it back. If you do choose to lend money either have an agreement of the time frame and put it in writing or give the money as a gift and don't expect it back. So sorry this happened.

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S.S.

answers from Tulsa on

You can go to small claims court in the county you live.You don't need a lawyer. It costs maybe $50 to file.

NEVER lend money. If you can't afford to gift it free and clear, you have no business lending it out.

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C.A.

answers from Atlanta on

I'm so sorry that this has happend to you and your husband. I would think you could maybe take her to small claims court but then again with all the fees involved I'm not quite sure it would be worth your time? That is why Dave Ramsey and other financial experts have said in the past that when it comes to allowing someone to "borrow" the money then you best be prepared that it was actually a "gift". Don't ever loan something out that you wouldn't be willing to part with is my motto and it took me a very long time to live by this because I too have been burned many of times by family and by supposed "friends" or even co-workers of mine! I think you might just have to hash this one as a love-offering gift and let it go.
It would be the "right" thing for her to do to pay it back but it doesn't appear she has the intention of doing so. Let it go and remember this the next time someone comes crying on your door step-I like to believe people's intentions are true and maybe they are but like I said if you aren't willing to part from something you loaned out to someone then don't loan it out to them in the first place.
Do you still keep in contact with her? Do you know where she lives? Do you know anyone in the legal field? Sometimes my cousin who was a paralegal would get her boss/lawyer to write up a letter just threatening legal action and that would usually get a response from the person or quit the harrassing bill collecters-lol! Although you would have to know them quite well I think.....

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T.L.

answers from St. Louis on

Sorry I love Judge Judy. LOL BUT if you took her to court on Judge Judy you would get your money back and the T.V. show would pay it. If she really doesn't have the money to pay you back it would be a win win. I know that there is more to it than that, but it maybe something to look into anyways.

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Small claims court. But you can't get blood from a stone.

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P.M.

answers from Tampa on

Small claims or civil court. Basically those are your only options I believe.

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K.M.

answers from Chicago on

There is nothing you can do, no legal agreement was made, I have a rule and I think you may do well to impliment this ... "do not give money to friends, family etc if you ever want to see it again"

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M.F.

answers from Youngstown on

Is she still married? Ask her husband for it. He probably doesn't know she borrowed it.

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A.J.

answers from Williamsport on

Oof. My best friend "loaned" $15,000 to a frined in need. Yup, she'll never get it back. It's doesn't pay to have money and be nice sometimes-or as my dad puts it, "Never loan what you can't afford to lose"

File a suit. But even the courts can't get blood from a stone. $3000 is an amount lots of people never have. Sorry and good luck.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

If you take her to civil court and win a judgement against her you may be able to get a garnishment against her wages or his if she doesn't work. Her employer will hold the set amount out of her check then mail it to the courts and they'll have some sort of system to dole out the payments to you.

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L.M.

answers from New York on

The chances of you ever seeing the full amount are very slim. You should never loan money to anyone without a formal agreement.

If you want to attempt to get a portion of the money back...

You could go to small claims court. However, that only means there will be a judgement placed against her, it doesn't necessarily mean you'll get your money.

You could write her a letter threatening to take legal action if she doesn't make arrangements for a payment plan. Make sure you send it certified mail. Just the threat may get you some money.

You could also contact an attorney. You could pay the attorney a small fee to write a threatening letter.

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