We've been attempting the all dreaded potty training of my son since he turned 3 which was 2 months ago. He totally has the hang of it WHEN HE'S NAKED from the waist down.
He'll pee, he'll poo, he recognizes the sensation and never skips a beat - goes to the potty by himself and then comes back to play as if it's no big deal.
BUT if I put a pullup on him, he associates that with a diaper and it's free reign to potty in it. If I try to put underwear on him he does the same thing. Then he TOTALLY freaks out that he's ruined his underwear & almost refuses to put on another pair next time. I always explain he hasn't ruined anything, we can wash them, I show him that they are clean when they come out of the dryer, etc. I never act upset or mad - I always say "that's okay" and he mimics me, but it still devastates him to pee on BuzzLightyear's head. :)
I'm at a loss. I've tried rewards. I've tried timers and schedules, I've tried prizes/ bribes, I've asked if he has to go, I've put him on the potty even if he tells me no but NO, he STILL does it.
How can he be trained naked, but not in underwear? What do I do?
Thanks everyone for all of your wonderful words of wisdom from those that have "been there & done that".
Here's what I've done thus far & here's another question...
I have flaty refused diapers and pullups, although that has caused several tantrums over the past couple of days. He says he wants his "white diapers" when he wants to be lazy. Since I recognize this I am now refusing and explaining to him that these diapers/pullups are for nightime/naptime only. Only downfall is DADDY who hates to see him cry, but he's slowly coming around.
I also went to Target yesterday & got him the next size up so he can easily pull them up and get his "stuff" inside without hassle.
Good advice, I hadn't considered this. He seems more comfortable in these, and yes, I think it's the pulling up and down that is hindering him. He can ealsily take them off, but has a problem putting them back on.
New question - What do you do when you go out???
And what do you do when you send them to daycare/preschool? Send them with just underwear?
Thanks again!!
C.
Never met a kid in college who wasn't potty trained! He'll be fine..boys are a little slower to learn it than girls. Maybe you could just get whitey tighty's? Then he isn't peeing on anyone's head..like the boxer idea too! Good Luck!
I personally think it has to do with readiness to manage the clothes. When you put him in undies, do you also dress him in other things on top of that, or is he JUST in undies? If you are putting shorts on over the undies, let him try it with JUST undies. If you are already letting him wear JUST undies, then maybe see if you can help him learn how to manipulate them on/off better. That is a skill like any other. And I wonder, being female myself (lol), what extra skills might be required for little boys to get "everything" in. For girls, you just pull up and they eventually will rise, but for boys... there are.... ummm ... obstacles. lol
See if the underwear/dressing itself is the problem. ?
Just keep him in the big boy undies. He'll get tired of changing and cleaning up after a few days. pull-ups are for accidents. If you use them, you'll have them!
Are you sure you aren't describing my daughter? lol!
I posted this exact same question a couple of months ago. She did the same thing. Eventually, she just got it. She still has some accidents, but for the most part, she is trained. I put her in a pull-up still for nap and bedtime and I have to take it off RIGHT after she wakes up otherwise it's free-reign to pee in sometimes.
Just keep doing what you're doing. He'll get it. Just a side note, my daughter doesn't say, " I have to go potty". When she has to go she says, "I pee my panties!" But she hasn't, it's just what she says when she has to go. She's 2 1/2.
She just learned to pull her panties down by herself too. People told me to put her back in diapers (from this site) but I didn't. I stuck to my guns and she got it quickly.
Good luck! Potty training is no fun!
This is kinda weird, but have you tried boxer shorts? It lets it all hang "a little more free" but still gets him used to the underwear idea.
I wouldn't do the treat/reward system, but that's just me. Potty training is another step forward in growing up and I just can't associate that with being something that should be "rewarded."
I think that you are doing a great job in helping him understand that this isn't anything to be upset about :) He will get it sooner rather than later - all kids just get it at different times.
Good luck!
I don't know if this will help, but every time I've trained my kids I always start off with underpants that are like 3 sizes too big (usually for a 2-3 year old I use size 6 or 8) so that they can get them up and down really easily. Maybe if they're loose enough, he'll feel okay to go to the potty and pull them up & down unassisted.
Get rid of the pull-ups (except at night if he is not waking up dry). My son had a hard time at first in undies, and he wanted his pullup, but I said no. Once you are a big boy there is not going back. He had a lot of accidents the first day, but the next day he only had 2, and than just one or two a week for a month or so. Once he knew diapers/pullups where no longer an option, he got the hang of it very quickly. It sounds like you son is already potty trained (he has proven that while naked)the pull-ups are just a security blanket for just in case. Take that away and he will get the hang of it very quickly.
I don't exactly have advice - just sympathy. I have B/G twins and my boy was soooo much harder to potty train. I think it is just more difficult for them for some reason. I spent the whole year between when my girl trained (at 2 years, 3 mos) and my boy finally did (at 3 years 3 mos) trying to interest him in using the potty, the cute "big boy" underwear, rewards and all. He finally did potty train but back slid at age 4, right after we moved and put the kids in pre-school. All I can suggest is to be patient. Eventually he will get it.
One thing to try is skipping the underwear, and see if he still has the control in just his clothes :) :) :)
dont worry,you never see a schoolboy in a nappy?Try baggy boxers or just shorts that he can push off by himself,goodluck 68 yr old nanny/childminder
Have you tried plain white underwear or something so he's not peeing on Buzzes head or any of the characters? Just thought of that when I read that part.
I didn't get to respond yesterday... but I thought I'd add my story anyway... I have three boys all trained differently, my 2nd finally trained by going without pants and we had trouble when we put underpants back on him, he said he couldn't feel his pee pee wiggling with "unders" on, so we used boxers for a while, and that helped a lot, his preschool was aware of our situation and they were very supportive of the boxers under shorts. in my opinion boys get busy playing and they are to busy to stop to go to the bathroom, my oldest would just hold it, forever! my second would just pee in his pants and keep right on going, my 3rd would just run to the potty at the last minute and sometimes make it and sometimes not, he then later regressed back to a pull up and was happy there since he didn't have to stop playing at all, and wouldn't go on the potty till I got fed up with pull ups and said NO MORE!!! actually I just told him that when we were out of pull ups he would have to go on the potty, and when we ran out of pull ups, we did just that, we had to go on the potty, it took a few days of intense potty work, and a few "practice runs" and then he was hooked and potty trained again, but for him it was the "practice runs" that was the big turning point.
if Daddy is still having trouble with the pull ups, have Daddy go to the store and buy them, than have Daddy manage all the pull up responsibilities, he will then see that it is time to just encourage him to switch to big boy pants.
I like the idea of the white big boy pants, we call them "tighty whities" to make them seem "fun" but that does help us detect accidents easily :)
best of luck, oh I almost forgot, when we would go out I would just be sure to have him go potty often, I set the timer on my phone to remind me to make him go, and at school they were fine with letting him wear the boxers, and we carried a change of clothes or two, just in case.
Honestly, I got mad at my kids when they did this. Now not at first but once I knew that they could go just fine without undies on but were too lazy to go or think about it when they had undies on. I spanked their little bottoms and explained how it was not acceptable. I let them know it was preventable and how it is their responsibility as a big kid to go. Now, every time they did go even when they didn't have anything on I praised them and did a potty dance with them. I say be over positive towards them when they use the potty and punish them when they don't or else they never feel there will be a consequence for their actions.
By the way, my kids were all potty trained before they were 2 1/2 so I guess it worked. 2 weeks was all it took of being consistent.
Good luck!
