Deception and Details......

I agree with Christy!
Your child won't care one BIT as an adult who paid for what-but she WILL remember Who set the proper example and didn't try to "get one over on the government" or whomever...
You might want to check with your atty first (unless you can make heads/tails of the divorce/custody agreement).
If your custody agreement SAYS that HE pays ALL the childcare then don't pay him anything and if it says that you split it 50/50 then I'd have my atty send a letter to him that you will be paying YOUR 1/2 Directly to the day care.
I'd try and let an atty handle it ALL if possible b/c otherwise it could get unnecessarily ugly-sounds from your description that he wouldn't hesitate to use it against you in the future if it would benefit him.
I'd get w/ your atty and see what the C.A. actually Says about who's responsibility it is to write the checks for childcare and go from there. I'd also let the atty handle any correspondence as they would keep you out of it-well from direct contact anyway- and sounds like you've been through enough.
Good Luck,
C.

You say he bills you. Does he do this in writing? If so, have you saved the bills?

Do you have the cancelled checks that you have written to him for day care? Are they noted as being for day care tuition? Please tell me you're not handing him cash.

I'd call the IRS, tell them what documentation you have regarding paying for day care, and ask them about it.

Starting this week, pay by check one half of the daycare tuition. You may need to go through your lawyer to do this. The check will be your receipt. If you are being billed for this anyway, you should just pay directly to the daycare.
I am in accounts receivable at the daycare where I work, and we send childcare expense forms at the end of the year. In cases like yours, we send two. We keep up with whose name is on the check.
Good luck

What is in your custody agreement? If he is in violation of it, contact a lawyer. STAT!

Just start writing your half of the expense directly to the day care. Don't ask his permission or tell him, just do it and then mention you are paying them directly now and will be taking that amount as a deduction on your taxes from now on. The past is the past.

You need to contact your attorney as laws vary from State to State.

Is it really worth making your daughter miserable over?

I agree with Amanda. By writing your OWN check to the daycare for half the cost, you will be able to claim that money on your taxes. Checking with an attorney as to what else you can do would probably be a good idea. Good luck!

Never agree to pay money to him for things like daycare. There is nothing wrong with you writing a check to day care for either 50% or paying every other month or for 1/2 of the year and he pays the other half. Rather than trying to report him, concentrate on making it right for you. Set the example for you daughter on how responsible adults should act even though it is tempting to get even with him for wrongs of the past. Over time, she will respect the example of responsible, loving adults. We try to teach our children to forgive their friends or at least be nice, so we should start by setting the example. I know that is easier said than done, but try baby steps and at least don't let her see your anger towards her dad. I taught school for 10 years and witnessed how painful and hurtful this is for children. Do it for her, not him.

You can re-file your previous years taxes, claiming the amount you have paid (half) for your daughter's day care expenses, using his "bills" to you, your cancelled checks to him, and invoices from your daughter's childcare center as proof incase you ever get audited. Talk to a tax specialist about it first-even if it's just calling H&R Block (they will probably be able to tell you if it is possible for you to claim half of childcare expenses free of charge, but it will start costing you once you decide to re-file previous years taxes). There may be some provision that only the primary custodian can claim such expenses, but I doubt it. You should each be able to claim the half you paid (especially if it is part of your court-ordered agreement that each parent pays half of the childcare expenses). I'm not sure about the effectiveness of notifying the IRS about your husband's sneakiness. But, if your Ex ever got audited by the IRS and they see both of you have claims for childcare expenses, they will ask him to provide receipts for the amounts he has paid (the same as they would ask you if you were audited) and it would come out that he is claiming more than his share of the payment, and he could receive a fine. Also, from this point forward, INSIST that the daycare center bill each of you directly for half of the total cost of care each month. Then, notify your Ex that that is how you intend to provide payment from this point forward, so that you have clear documentation of your payments for your taxes. Don't take no for an answer from the daycare center, either. Trust me, there are plenty of kids out there in split family situations. They might pretend you are asking for something out of the norm, but they have probably done it before and if they haven't, it is about time they start. Good luck!

1st what are the details in your divorce.
Does he give you money for expenses for the child and is that money part of day care?

2nd If he is paying the full amount then I would think he is right to claim all of it

3rd Be careful here - if neither of the two apply you may write a letter to the irs for an opinion, if, and only if you want, send him a copy of the letter.

Or you may ask your attorney's opinion on this. Think the few bucks are well worth it!!

Trusthfully you are blessed that he is taking responsibility for his child, many do not lift a finger, and many have child care payments far in the rears!

God Bless

I would tell him that from this point forward you will write your half of the daycare check directly to the daycare so that you can claim your part on your IRS deductions as well. If he says "no", and it's not court ordered to go directly to him, that it is not an option. If it is court ordered then you should be able to give your check copies to your accountant to be claimed anyway. To be safe, you could also tell your ex that if the checks are going to continue to go directly to him that you require a notorized letter from indicating just that so the IRS has something legal on file that he is receiving this. Good luck!

I don't think you can do anything about the past, since he has the checks to back up his claims about child care, but I would short pay him 1/2 of childcare and you write the check directly to the day care. If he continues to write the daycare checks for the full amount, keep short paying him until he agrees to let you pay the day care direct for your 1/2.

How is your custody arrangement set up with the courts? I would have the agreement altered to where it is stated that you can claim half of the daycare expenses on your taxes. Also, discuss the tax situation with your attorney and see what they think. I doubt he is giving you a paper bill stating that the money you should pay is daycare, so I don't think you would be able to go back and refile your returns. Since he is paying them directly, he will have the documentation to back up his tax returns if he is audited. If you don't want to talk to an attorney, refuse to pay him and tell him you will pay the daycare directly (in a check), then you will have your own documentation. You can also ask for a statement from the daycare as to what YOU actually paid each year and that will back you up even more. I think you can only claim expenses for children 12 and under, so it may not matter too much longer anyway. Good luck!

It may be that you have some available deduction for the payment you are making to him. Unless the final court order states otherwise, I am not sure why you would not be able to pay that 50% directly to the day care provider. Ask your lawyer if this would be ok, and this way you will also know that you are always up on the actual cost. Just make sure you pay on time!

Do make sure that you check with your lawyer though, the final order may also have a provision allocating who gets which deductions related to your child which would apply regardless of whether you are paying them directly. Also discuss w/ your accountant, the federal deduction may only be available to persons with primary physical custody, so you might be ineligible to claim it depending on the specifics of the custody arrangement.

Again, check w/ your accountant & lawyer, but if I'm not mistaken, if you are entitled to deduct it (i.e. because you meet the criteria and the final order doesn't state otherwise) you can go ahead and amend your taxes, without regard to whether he claimed it, he will have been the one to misrepresent (just make sure you hold on to your documentation - a temporary order or the spreadsheets demonstrating your portions of the day care costs and your evidence of payment i.e. the checks you wrote to hubby are probably sufficient).

I wouldn't necessarily report, might make it more difficult with your daughter, makes you look vindictive, but you certainly have every right to claim deductions to which you are entitled. If the IRS figures it out on that basis then they have, but you haven't gone out of your way to f him.