Deciding Between Only Child, Adoption, or Trying Again After Miscarriages

DJ, first I want to tell you how sorry I am for your losses. I lost one, and it was devastating. I feel so horrible for you. This decision is a tough one and definitely depends on the personalities, attitudes and desires of you and your dh. Of course you want your own child, but it seems you're at your wits end. I don't blame you a bit for that. How emotionally draining. You could certainly be happy with your son alone, but it sounds like the Lord has laid it on your heart to add to your family. However, maybe He didn't intend on it being your own biological child. Maybe you should pray for Him to reveal his will for you...put your heart where it needs to be. I think adoption would be VERY rewarding. But, that depends on you...it just seems you're not finished adding to your family yet. Let us know how you're doing and what you two decide. But, I am praying that your current pgcy becomes a healthy one!

Much love, E.

I feel for you and agree with the previous posts. I have had 12 misscarrigaes myself, they were all early ones, but still hard so I really do feel your pain. It took us 2 years to stay pregnant with my almost 4 yr old and 18 months with our 15 month old. Through prayer and much support from my dh we kept trying and are trying for our 3rd now cause of our track record. If you can afford it adoption is a wonderful thing too even if you still have more biological ones later. There are SOOOOOOO many kids out there with no loving families. :( Best wishes and if you need a friend Im here. Best wishes
A.

I struggle with this too. We are going to keep trying as long as it is not dangerous for me, and so far, it hasn't been. We lost 2 before my daughter and 1 after so far. It also takes us between 7-12 months to conceive each time. It's a long road, but we cannot afford adoption.

It's hard emotionally, but it really helps me to be realistic with each pregnancy, and to know that I am by far not the only one that this happens to. The infertility rate is so, so high right now. I'm content with one child, but I know that I will want another someday, so we continue to try.

I'll pray for you.

A.

You'll find alot of us had multiple miscarriages.... it's very hard to go through and only you can decide.

I had several miscarriages in a row and then 3 babies in a row. So you never know, you may never have another one. Think positive thoughts. I would have more than one child... it's more of a "family" that way, though I"m sure there's families that are great with only one. But if it were my daughter I'd tell her have another or adopt.

Either way you go it'll be a blessing.

DJ-

I went through a very similar experience. It took my hubby and I several years, a miscarriage, and many infertility treatments before we were blessed with my now 3 year old son. After having him we decided we would try again but NOT go through infertility treatment. After 3 miscarriages I figured it was not meant to be. My hubby was against adopting even though I was open to that. I made peace with my son being an only child and sold all my baby gear at a garage sale. I am not 14 weeks pregnant with baby #2. I guess life kind of decided for us. I understand the emotional toll that miscarriages can cause since I have been there. Sometimes I think taking a step back and just letting whatever happens...happen is the best way to go! Good luck to you!!