Depressed from Weaning

Updated on April 13, 2009
H.B. asks from Corpus Christi, TX
18 answers

Help! I keep crying uncontrollably. My daughter is almost 15 months old & I have been down to only breastfeeding her 1-2 times a day. Well I had a root canal done yesterday & am now taking amoxicillin. I've read that it is fine to breastfeed while taking this antibiotic, BUT my husband is allergic to penicillin, so I'm worried/scared that she may be too! Last night was the 1st night I did not breastfeed her to sleep in her whole life, then I cried myself to sleep. It's killing me, I didn't expect this. What a precious precious thing I have to give up. Anyone else become depressed at this stage? How did you deal with it? Thank you for any encouragement.
H. B

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So What Happened?

Thank so much EVERYONE! The responses were very helpful. Across the board what I heard was 'don't do it if you're not ready'. I obviously wasn't ready. I took the chance after 2 1/2 days of not nursing & did it, I nursed her. And guess what?? She didn't have any reaction to the amoxicillin I am taking!!! AND....I haven't cried since! So I am now nursing her 1-2 times a day again. Mainly I nurse her to sleep, at night for sure & sometimes down for her nap! You ladies were right.....I was NOT ready! Thanks so much to everyone to take time out to give me words of encouragement!! God bless! H. B

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C.L.

answers from San Antonio on

I am allergic to penicillin but can actually take amoxicillin. A lot of people with penicillin allergies are only allergic to certain types of penicillin and not all forms. Also, breastfed babies don't usually get allergies until they stop weaning, so you probably don't have much to worry about. I wouldn't stop until you are both ready.

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E.S.

answers from Houston on

I had to wean my daughter at 20 months due to a bad case of mastitis. They put me on a high dose of antibiotics and the doctor said that it could leak through. Anyway, it was devestating. I still miss it so much, but it does get better. You have to find other ways to fill that void. Lots of snuggling!!

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B.K.

answers from Austin on

H., you do not have to quit breastfeeding. My husband, father, uncle and my son are all allergic to penicillin. I was on Amoxicillin when nursing my son and he never showed any signs of an allergy. He was put on it for an ear infection 6 months later, and again, he did fine. It wasn't until the second time he was put on it for an ear infection that he broke out in hives (5 days into the antibiotic, no less). A penicillin allergy was confirmed by a pediatric allergist at that point. I am still nursing my 18 month old daughter and I have taken Amoxicillin with her too. Still no problems. She has been on it for an ear infection one time and did fine. I can pretty much assure you what tiny amounts she gets in your breast milk isn't going to cause a problem. If she breaks out in hives or any other strange reaction, give her Benedry immediately, call the doctor and stop nursing. However, this is highly unlikely. I would not give it up just because you are on penicillin. It doesn't sound like you are ready. Some studies have recently shown that small amounts of exposure to things at a young age help to prevent allergies in the future. This contradicts everything we have been told in the past but our pedi recently confirmed this.

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A.A.

answers from Austin on

call your dr. I think it is fine to nurse on that antibiotic and then you dont have to give it up!

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H.H.

answers from Houston on

You don't have to give up breastfeeding for that!!! My husband is allergic to pennicillin, too, and I had to take amoxicillin while pg. It is fine. You are not going to pass that to her. Please check with your doctor. I'm trying to look up the info, but can't seem to find it. But I am quite sure that your daughter is not going to have an allergic reaction to you breastfeeding while on an antibiotic your husband is allergic to.

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S.T.

answers from Houston on

I completely understand what you are going through - and I think a lot of it is hormonal. I felt the same way - and have wonderful memories of the beautiful bond my duaghter and I shared during the days that she nursed. I can tell you that if you are able to wean her now - it will be much easier in the long run. I began weaning my child around the same time - roughly fifteen months - but then she became very ill with a kidney infection and she wouldn't eat any regular food - just breast milk. So, obviously I had to stop weaning her as she needed me for both comfort and nourishment. She recovered beautifully from her infection with no long term damage to her kidneys, but when I tried again to wean her at 18 months it was as nightmare and didn't go nearly as smoothly as it began months before. She would throw her cup at me and cry and tug at my clothes. After a consultation with my doctor I took his advice to wait until she was between 24 and 26 months when she could better understand with reasoning and she would alos be eating even more "big people" food to sustain her. Nursing time turned into cuddle time and it went very well. So - hang in there. The freedom you will eventually get once she is completely weaned will help ease your sadness. And once your hormones level out, you truly will feel better. I remember taking long baths and using the time to reflect on what a wonderful couple of years it had been so far. My baby is almost 10 years old now - and she still cuddles up in my lap and wants me to lay wrapped around her at night before she goes to bed. For some this would not be a good thing - but I love it. There will be many stages that pass as they grow - and tears are a natural reaction as we say goodbye to one time in our lives and begin another. The next stage will bring new and unexpected joys, as well. Hugs to you.

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L.C.

answers from Corpus Christi on

I hope you can find out if your daughter really is allergic to the antibiotics you are taking. Maybe you can pump and dump. Or even just continue to express some milk manually and then take fenugreek and blessed thistle to bring the milk back up later. That way you'll still be able to nurse when you are done with the antibiotics. How long do you have to take the antibiotics? Are you worried that your daughter may ween herself in that time? Maybe she'll want to continue to nurse for comfort. I wish you luck and hope you won't be sad any more.

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S.R.

answers from Austin on

Ask your pharmacist if the antibiotic is passed through breast milk. Not all antibiotics are. You could pump and dump. Other than that, remember that breast feeding is for your babies benefit and her benefit only. If you do have to stop, you will learn how to bond and be close in a different way.

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S.L.

answers from Austin on

It is so normal. I think it may be harder on moms then it is on the babies! Just remember that she is old enough now, and you are doing the right, natural thing. In a week or so, you will still miss that time you shared, but you will feel much better. Good luck!

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L.C.

answers from Houston on

Hi H.! I nursed my baby girl until she was about 14 months. I loved it just as much as she did because that was our special bonding time and only mommy could give her what she needed. It made me feel so special. Weaning is not only for the baby but also the mom because it is an emotional event...in my opinion. If your choice is to continue weaning...take your time and go with the flow. I miss nursing my daughter so I totally feel you but I just try to hold those memories close to my heart and I know my daughter and I are close and now we bond in other ways together. Hang in there and just enjoy each moment with her. Having a baby takes you through many stages and when one stage ends, another special one begins. Each year I write a letter to my daughter about all the special events that took place during that year...what she learned, funny things she did, times she amazed me, and others when she made my heart smile and laugh. It's crazy because I see her as a little girl (not a little baby) and I'm so amazed at how she is grown but still sadden because she grows to fast and I miss cradling her in my arms but she still loves cuddles. haha. That's part of being a mom...experiencing multiple emotions at once. Find your special way to capture these memories and one day when she is older, you can share them with her. Take care and you will be fine!!! I promise!!!

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K.G.

answers from Austin on

I am going thru that same sadness right now too. Some of the other Moms have suggested ways that you can continue if you can/want so that's good too but if not just know you are both going to be okay. I talked to many of my Mom friends about it this week and each day it's gotten better. I was crying too the other night when my 10 month old daughter didn't nurse before she went to bed. We were down to 1-2 times a day and she just stopped. I guess I could have insisted but I think it was our time. I am feeling much better a few days later and she is doing great. She never took a bottle and went straight to a sippy cup so I am lucky there. Best wishes to you and yours.

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K.L.

answers from Houston on

H., I feel your pain. My first child breastfeed up until he was 2 years old, then I finally cut him off. Neither one of us missed it to much. I missed the connection with him because I was working, but we found other ways to connect.

With my second baby I expected to keep going for the same amount of time. Unexpectedly, he weaned himself at 6 months. I felt so rejected and was depressed for a couple of weeks. It goes away eventually. Find other ways to connect with your daughter. Extra snuggle time or a new bedtime routine that is special for the two of you. Sorry I can't give you any better advice, it's just hard. Good luck!

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L.B.

answers from Austin on

My first stopped breastfeeding at 13 mths and I thought everything would be fine. Boy was I wrong! I slipped into a depression that had me crying on the couch until the Dr prescribed paxil. The effect was within 1 week! I figured that couldn't be from the med, so I stopped and it came back. Normal sadness is one thing, but my Dr said you can actually experience postpartum depression later when you stop breastfeeding as well. Hang in there!

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A.P.

answers from Austin on

I second what Amanda C said to you . . . I strongly suggest you reconsider weaning. Neither you nor your daughter are ready and it's unnecessary. You could request a different antibiotic not in the PCN family, or you could just take the amoxicillin, time it to create as much time btw when you take it and the next time you're likely to nurse, and see how she does. Remember that she's only getting a trace amount of the med via breast milk, and sometimes children react to something if taken directly but not if ingested via BM. Don't wean until you are both ready! :)

A.

1 mom found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

I understand exactly how you feel. Our daughter was so weak as a preemie that she really had a difficult time with breast feeding. She lost weight. We took her to her pedi and they gave her a bottle. Seeing her gulp down that formula was so eye opening, I realized her health was more important than any of my emotional needs. She was diagnosed severely jaundiced. She was put back into the hospital for 5 days and all of my plans for breast feeding really went out of the window. I pumped and pumped for 6 weeks so that she could have my milk. She never could get the hang of breast feeding. I was really devastated but she was more important.

Could you continue to pump and just dump your milk till you are off the antibiotics? Then try the breast again at night once you are off the meds?

I understand how sad you are, but do not give up hope. Be happy that you have your beautiful baby and that she is so healthy. That is the best gift ever. Happy Easter!

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J.P.

answers from Austin on

Have you ever thought of donating your milk (since she is weaning) to other moms in need? I was a surrogate and had twins for another couple. After the babies and them went home, I was worried about feeling "the loss". I started donating my milk, first to the Mother's Milk Bank of Austin and then to other moms (local) in need. This has really been a very positive thing for me and has helped fill in the empties and kept me from being depressed about anything. I am still able to help others even after the babies were gone and it just feels good.
Even if your daughter is ready to wean, you don't have to stop giving such a precious gift of your extra milk.
Also, the MMBA and other moms you donate to will provide milk containers and/or bags for storage!!

http://www.mmbaustin.org/scripts/

http://health.dir.groups.yahoo.com/group/MilkShare/?v=1&a...

Good luck.

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A.C.

answers from Houston on

At 15 months she has never been on any antibiotics? There are 20 or so antibiotics in the penicillin family--and these are often the first line of defense for most bacterial infections. If she hasn't, good for you that she has been so healthy.

My pediatrician told me that while allergies are hereditary, they are not always allergen specific. So, your husband has a penicillin allergy, but even if she has an allergy it may not be to the same drug.

Me, for instance? Can't take regular penicillin without a mild reaction (that started later in life) but have taken some of the others in the family.

I feel for you. I weaned my daughter at 18 months and I was really conflicted. Since I worked full time and pumped for a year...I was really OVER the pumping. But I really loved the time we had together, especially when I would return from a busines trip. I think I was more upset about it than she was...now she just makes me nurse her dolls (and a stuffed cat...lol)

Either pump and dump--you can rent a hospital grade pump or talk to your pediatrician. There is no need to wean before you or your baby is ready. The health and mental benefits will continue for as long as you nurse. You can also time when you take your medication to your nursing schedule.

Amoxicillin peak excretion in milk is 4-5 hours after dosing and at pretty low concentrations. I got staph while breastfeeding and had to take some pretty heavy duty antibiotics, and while considered compatible, I wanted to avoid any other side effects than could occur in my daughter (like the diarrhea that she ALWAYS get with antibiotics).

When all of this has passed, since you are concerned about inherited allergies, you should have her skin-tested. It is good to KNOW for sure if she has a penicillin allergy as you never know when you'll have to make a trip to the ER for something else.

Ultimately, you have to make the decision, but I wish you luck. If you decide to wean, I know it is hard. Don't make it any harder on yourself by feeling guilty.

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K.K.

answers from Killeen on

The weaning thing has to be done eventually so now may be a good time to do it as you are already feeling the need to protect her from the possible allergy.

Having said that. Breastfeeding is a HUGE bond between mom and baby and I would be surprised at anyone who did not admit some feelings of guilt and/or depression during the weaning stage.

This is a time when no one else can interfere. It is just you and your precious little one. And to give up (or lose) that special contact can be devastating to the mom.

It is even harder as the production of milk to be able to feed your child requires an increase in estrogen levels keeping those ever annoying emotions right up on your sleeve and harder to deal with.

I was not given a choice of when to wean my children from the breast. My oldest is lactose intolerant and began refusing feeding about 4 and a half months in and was completely done by 5 months. My milk gave her extra gas and constipation, making her little tummy hurt. I was devastated. I had to switch her to a soy based formula.

My twins were 2 months premature and I was only allowed to breast feed them 3 times a day for their first two weeks of life (the belief being that it overexhausts the preemie who needs as much energy as possible to grow healthy enought to go home). But, to make mattrs worse, my children are all on the smallest side of the scales and their first pediatrician insisted I supplement their breastfeeding with bottle feeding. As I had never done this before I asked how. She misinformed me and my twins stopped taking the breast. I was heart broken. They were only 1 month old at the time. I had been looking forward to having at least the same amount of time with them as with my oldest child.

I only tell you thes stories, so you understand that you are not alone in the sadness you feel. To help yourself recover, you can feed your daughter her bottle while you are skin to skin. This won't be the same, but will give some similar confort to you and to her that you received while breastfeeding. It may help you ease into and through the transition.

Remember...She will need to be weaned at some point in time...my suggestion for you to go ahead and complete it now, is so that you do not have to go through this emotional upheaval more than once.

My thoughts and heart is with with you and I hope that, whatever your decision, you are able to see that with 15 months of breastfeeding you will never lose the bonding you have created with your precious child. ;-)

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