Diabetic Husband

YES! low blood sugar will make him unable to think logically. 62 is quite low for most people and could definitely be too low for him to respond himself. maybe he can talk to the dr. about catching the low blood sugars before they get that low - identifying the early feelings of low blood or changing his insulin doses to prevent so many lows. my little brother has been insulin dependent since age 10. hope this helps.

Put a candy dish with hard candies in the center of the table and then when he comes in with low sugar he can access it easily without thinking. Low blood sugar effects reasoning and emotions so , despite this being frustrating for you ( which I understand as my husband is also diabetic) it's easier to set things up to help him. Hang in there:)

Hi, K.. I don't have a diabetic husband, but I do have a diabetic son. It's true that when their blood sugar is low, their reasoning skills are very impaired. He might actually feel too tired to get something to eat or drink. When my son is low, he just sits on the couch and cries. It's like he can't remember where the juice is kept. LOL.

I agree with having a candy dish out and recommend having some quick juice pouches or individual drinks in the fridge so that he can just grab and drink. When a person first starts on insulin, the blood sugar levels can fluctuate quite a bit, but once you (and he) get the hang of when to eat to prevent low BGLs, things will even out. Eventually he will stabilize and it won't be such a constant worry. Practice a set schedule for eating and eventually it will become a habit. My son has breakfast at 8:00, a snack at 10:00, lunch at 12:00, snack at 2:00 and again at 4:00 and dinner at 6:00 with an evening snack at 8:00. It's a set schedule (basically every 2 hours) so that makes it a lot easier for him to remember to eat.

Diabetes is obviously never going to be easy, but it does get better. You're not alone! Allow yourself to grieve a bit because it is a huge change, but hang in there - he's worth it, right? ;)

I too have a diabetic husband and feel your pain. When he is low you need to treat him like a) a child or b) a extremely obnoxious drunk. How long has he had diabetes? If he keeps having these lows you really need to ask his dr about the dose of insulin he is taking. If it gets too bad and he refuses juice and he doesn't respond call the paramedics and let them know you need help. If he says his sugar is that low you get him something to drink, juice, soda anything to get his sugar up especially if it is continuing to drop. Fluids are the best because sometimes they are unable to chew or swallow the harder foods which creates a choking hazard. Usually "lunch" wont contain the quick sugars he needs to bring the sugar levels up rapid enough. Lunch would be great after the juice. He will not think to get him something himself. Hold the drink for him if you have to but don't get upset with him or he will in turn get upset with you (and could possibly get violent, its gotten close a few times with my husband cuz I get frustrated and just lose it and yell at him. BAD IDEA) If you have your grandchild is around put him/her in a safe area with something to do and tend to your husband at least until he comes around. Not saying neglect the child but things can escalate rapidly if the sugars continue to drop. We are getting my husband on the pump to try to contain things. You can do everything perfectly and you will still get 1-2 bad lows a year (that is what his dr said) So all in all yes when his sugar drops you do indeed have another child on your hands.

p.s. if your dr told him to eat small meals throughout the day he may have adjusted the insulin doses assuming your husband does so. If he continues to not eat smaller meals then the dosage does need adjusted and if it continues to fluctuate so much ask for different insulin. I believe my husband too once was on Lantus and it just didnt work for him he had far too many lows. He is currently on Humalog and novalin nph and it so far seems to be the best two that we have gone through. (sorry for the novel)

Hi K., the only experience I have with diabetes is when I had gestational diabetes. I had to live with "diabetic diet and rules" for 6 weeks and I have to tell you, it was extremely difficult. I remember thinking that I would NEVER want to have this disease for real. It is extremely limiting and you have to monitor every bite you put in your mouth and watch that blood sugar. Unless you've done it, you just can't imagine how difficult it is. A couple of ideas: 1. How about talking to the doctor about an insulin pump? My uinderstanding is that it keeps blood sugar much more level and eliminates some of the hassles involved in keeping things right. 2. Maybe your husband could benefit from some counseling. If this is a newer issue, he's probably really struggling with anger and even grief for his old life. Denial is a really common problem when you don't want to face reality. And he MUST face reality or he could die. I have alot of sympathy for your situation. Hang in there! Blessings, K.

There could be a point where your husband doesn't really hear you. When his blood sugar is that low and heading down, you really do need to stop and get him a glass of juice or something like that. He may "hear" you, but he really doesn't "hear" you. My husband is not a diabetic, but he used to pass out a lot, and we would be going along and talking and then he would pass out. I asked him what he heard the last and he couldn't remember, all he could remember was me there and him fading in and out and then black. Watching him there were tell tell signs almost a week in advance before he would pass out. He would get frustrated with anything, he would feel claustrophobic, he would not remember anything, and he would become very forgetful. Then he would pass out.

Try to have something on hand for him wherever he is, in the car, in a few of the rooms of your house, and at his work where if his blood sugar is low that he can just get it right there.

Low sugar can definitely make him confused and disoriented. I agree that if his number is low (below 80 I think?) you need to make sure he gets some juice (its sugars are absorbed quickly and but it won't cause him to spike as badly as candy).

Since this is new to you, I would talk with the doctor again. Let him know how worried you are about the consistantly low sugars - is he taking too much of the fast-acting insulin? Maybe something needs a bit of adjustment.

On the other hand, at least his sugars aren't consistantly high. My SIL has diabetes and is on both kinds of insulin, and she regularly is ove 150, even over 200 way too often. It is causing long term medical issues and can lead to worse (tissue death in extremities, loss of vision, etc). Most if it is poor choices on her part. So your husband is being careful - and maybe too careful, out of fear of complications. When you talk to the doctor, ask if he can refer a nutritionist who specializes in diabetic diets to help you both deal with learning the new lifestyle.

My mom is diabetic, and we were out yesterday at an appointment and forgot the diaper bag. Both my 3 yr old son's and my mom's blood sugar got low because we'd forgotten the snacks, and we had to stop to get something for them to eat. My mom was telling me how she feels when her sugar's low, and YES, it is very difficult to make good decisions! Your brain goes all foggy.

But I just had to laugh because when I had my first baby, I wanted to scream the same thing at my husband. Once I did tell him, "Okay, I'll make you dinner right now, even though the baby is hungry and crying, because you're being a bigger baby right now!"

I bet if you stay on top of things, helping him eat smaller meals and staying right on top of the low blood sugar, it'll become a habit for him, and you can ease up a bit down the road.

I don't know about diabetes, but I have hypoglycemia (low blood sugar). When my sugar gets low, I do have a hard time focusing on what I'm supposed to do. It makes me snarky (there's a better word that describes it but it's not a family word ;), shaky, I can't speak well w/o stuttering, sometimes if it's really low I can't even spit out a whole sentence. I'm sure it's affecting my thoughts at that point too-but my only thought is getting sweets into me NOW. I've also lived w/my hypoglycemia since I was in high school though, so it's not new to me. When I was first diagnosed, I couldn't figure out what was up & I'd black out w/o losing consciousness (I'd see the snow on a TV screen-had hearing & could still move but couldn't see) before I stopped to relax & eat something.
If he's got a cell phone, program alarms to go off at certain times during the day to remind him to eat something, if only a quick scoop of peanut butter.
LOL at putting it under childcare, even our biggest boys are still kids!

Ahhh, welcome to my life. It is actually sooo good to hear that someone else is struggling with the same issues that I am. My husband was diagnosed with type 2 diabeties about one and a half years ago. We just had our 23 wedding anniversary and I'll tell you I came real close to divorce about a year ago. Here is what I have figured out so far. When their sugar is all over the place so is their mood! It took a bit to figure this out. My husband can actually be a little mean when his sugar is out of wack. Very short tempered. It probably affects every one different. I feel for you in that you have little ones and you feel like you have just added another little one to the list. Which I hate to say in a way you have. My husband has done the same way in that it is my job to fix his meals and take care of him and keep his sugar down. At least we are still only on pills and no shots. Note: when his sugar is down like that and he tells you, he can't think! You need to get him something and make sure he drinks or eats it. He will not know if he did or not and may not even be able to stand to go get himself something. At this point he is close to a diabetic coma! Help him. If this is happening a lot contact the Dr. He needs his 3 meals a day and snacks. It is a pain I know! I make a lot of smoothies and we would get this shake stuff from our chiropractor/naturpath. Basically it is a protein shake but for diabetics. Nuts are great as they slow the intake of sugar into the body.
There is also neuropathy in the lower extremities. My husband complains of his feet going numb and have shooting pain in his legs. Sometimes it is PAD like you see on TV and he can be tested for that.
The short of it is Yes you have to take care of him. If you want to talk I am more that willing. It is so hard to be the caregiver and not get worn out. I definately understand your frustrations. I have plenty of those. Please email if you like. Take crare. We recently discovered some other pills and a foot bath that is ionic that have all made huge differences in our quality of life. We tend to try to go more the natural way. If he really wants to make a difference then go vegetarian. But that is difficult. Get a juicer. Lots of greens. It sounds like he may need to go back to the Dr. and get some adjustments on his dosage if he is bottoming out a lot. That is NOT good. My prayers are with you.

I am a medical writer and I happen to be doing a piece for pharmacists on diabetes right now, which includes a whole section about the dangers associated with hypoglycemia. You are right to be concerned.
Medically induced hypoglycemia is definitely something you should talk with your doctor about. If he is having those lows, his medication and food schedule need to be adjusted. Your husband will need to be active about managing his meals, but there may be adjustments in meds that can help too. If your doctor is brushing you off or dismissing it with a glib 'just eat more small meals' and not taking it seriously, then you need to find a doctor who is willing to work more closely to get your husband's numbers better controlled.

my aunt in diabetic and when her blood suger is low you literaly have to treat her like a child. You can tell her to drink some juice, but unless you hound her she won't do it. A friend was very simular only she would get very mad and refuse to do what you suggested. Maybe you can talk to the doctor yourself?

Hang in there

Just anothe response with a yes, diabetics can act differently when their sugar is low. We used to have to help a college friend make good choices with food. He would usually take care of himself, but he definitely acted odd and inapropriate at times when he was low. Sounds like a frustrating situation. Good luck to you and your up and down man!

Hi K.! My husband has had Type 1 diabetes since he was three and my daughter was diagnosed last year at age one and my son was diagnosed last month at age 6. :( I feel your pain and frustration so very much.

Low blood sugars affect the ability to reason correctly. He is forgetting because he can't help it, not because he is irresponsible. I DISAGREE with the people who say to treat your husband like a child when he is low and what your first poster said is GARBAGE. She obviously doesn't know anyone with diabetes.

It's terribly humiliating for a diabetic person to not have control over their emotions, actions, words, etc. I grieve for my husband and children who have to suffer this way by no fault of their own. Someone having a low blood sugar should be treated with respect, even though it's frustrating.

Does your husband go to an endocrinologist? Regular doctors don't know jack about how to correctly manage diabetes and diet. An endocrinologist will work closely with you to manage numbers, lows, highs, sick days, etc. It's essential to your husbands health.

I also recommend a low glycemic diet. We eat healthy proteins and low glycemic carbs to keep blood sugars stable.
Please, message me if you have any questions or just need to vent. Sometimes just shouting out how awful everything is makes you feel a little better.

Having been insulin diaetic for 30+ years, yes low blood sugar can make you quite confused. If he tells you it is that low you need to get him to sit down and get him a glass of juice. You might want to have an injectable form of sugar available too (ask your doctor or pharmacist) too, in case he passes out. I am sure you are frustrated. Good-luck

I think that low blood sugar affects one's cognitive ablities. Any time I've witnessed a diabetic reacting to low sugar, he or she seems out of it. It is not unreasonable to assume that your husband is already impaired by the time his blood sugar is 62. I know it's frustrating, but I would think that you'll need to stop what you're doing and pour him some juice. (How long does that take, anyway.) Hang in there and try to remember that he is not puposely doing this. I'm sure he'd much rather be in good health!

Hi K.,

I am not sure, but I have been around two hypoglycemic people, that is where their blood sugar gets low and they have to eat regularly, but it is kind of a pre-cursor to diabetes, where they don't have the disease-yet.

Anyway, both the people I know become stubborn and noncompliant about eating food. The longer they go without it, the more likely they are to say they are not hungry, refuse to eat, get shaky, they slow down and feel really tired, and they get really grumpy. I couldn't turn things into a power struggle or lecture about their health because at this point, you are talking to the disease, not a logical person, so I had to coax the food with no mention of their blood, as a friendly gesture - "here, eat this!"

So just drop what you are doing when you notice the signs and give him some juice or something. From my experience, he is not trying to be annoying or stubborn or babyish. The low blood sugar is messing with his body and making him a little irrational.

Take care,
Marci

K.,to answer your question about the low blood sugar and if it effects his ability to think. The answer is yes, when his sugar is that low and you tell him to eat or drink something he cannot process that. The only thing you can do is stop what you are doing and get him something. As far as talking to the doctor about his low blood sugar I would for sure tell them that his sugar is dropping that low he may need his meds adjusted. Good luck and God Bless.

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K.,

You can lead a horse to water but you cannot make him drink. You can lead a man to learning but you cannot make hiim think.

The same with your husband. You can advise him but you cannot make him act.

My husband had high cholesterol, so I put the entire family on the Six Week Cholesterol Cure diet for his benefit. The food was actually quite good. His cholesterol came down. Then I found out that he started eating prime rib lunches with his brother every day and his cholesterol started climbing again. Needless to say, I took us all off the diet.

He was also addicted to Pepsi, and drank copious quantities. From time to time, he would get off and go into withdrawal for weeks at a time. I learned that nagging him about drinking Pepsi only had the effect of making him mad and nothing else. Recently, he has had to stop drinking pop altogether because even one drink will swell his prostate up so much that he cannot eliminate. So, now that he has to, he no longer drinks Pepsi.

I have no idea what his current cholesterol situation is because I am no longer married to him.

Given that your husband has the academic knowledge of what he needs to do to manage his diabetes, no amount of pleading, nagging, screaming, deprivation, or anything else on your part will change his behavior. He will have to decide to do that himself.

Good luck.

I suffer from low blood sugar and have to eat before I feed my kids or we won't have any success at meal time. I can imagine your frustration with him. It may help to have things ready made for him to snack on that you can pull out of the fridge at a moments notice. Maybe a juice box, so you don't have to get out juice and a cup and pour the juice and put it in front of him. One step sure beets three. I like to have snacks for the kids already in baggies and pre-portioned out. This way they are at least eating something while I can take care of the baby or myself when things get hectic. Remember your husband's brain function isn't the best when his blood sugar is low. It really is very hard to function when that happens. Good luck

K.,

I have been with my husband for almost 20 years now and he has been a Type 1 diabetic since he was 17 years old. I know your frustration very well because sometimes it is like having another child in the house. After my husband had recovered from one of his especially difficult low episodes he explained to me that not only does he not remember anything but his brain does not function normally when he is low. Basically it has to do with the fact that a brain is fed by glucose and when a person has a low glucose level, the brain is being starved so it does not function as it should. So when you notice your husband is low unfortunately you will have to stop everything and get him juice or an equivalent because at that point he is not thinking clearly for himself and the lower he gets the harder it will be to get him to comply sometimes.

I also asked him out of frustration one time why he doesn't just get something right when he feels himself getting low and he told me that sometimes it just drops so quick without warning or that the indicators that he is going low changes that he is caught off guard. So I try to always have hard candy in my purse and buy him power bars & snack stuff for him to carry when he is working (he is a freelance sound mixer and frequently on location with no food around) and hope we can minimize the lows. As another person pointed out we married them for better or worse. Good luck.

Your husband sounds like he is used to having a lot more attention paid to him. Try talking to him about what is goinf on, including his having to share your attention with a child now. He knows what to do but is distracted and you are busy, there must be a way to deal with that without making too many changes. Good luck.

Hello from another grandma! You are absolutely right in your question. Low blood sugar affects one's thinking processes. My husband is diabetic but not as severely; I have several friends, however, whose diabetic family members need that sort of extra help.

Once my husband and I were at a college reunion with two dear friends (who are married to each other). The husband is diabetic (he's on a drug pump now), and in the course of one morning we had separated, as couples, to do various things. My husband and I were at a snack bar when she marched in, practically dragging her husband behind her, snatched a bottle of Coke out of the cooler, paid for it, shoved it at him, and ordered him, "DRINK THIS RIGHT NOW!" Well, she does teach middle school, but we were surprised at her talking to her husband like that. An hour later, though, when he was better, he explained that when his sugar really drops, his brain really drops, too. She was doing the kindest thing right then. Kind? She might have been saving his life.

I have another friend whose husband's sugar goes crazy minute by minute, and she does have to supervise minute by minute as well. She's done it for years. She knows it's not childishness, it's blood sugar! One of their sons has the same freaky diabetes, and she was so glad that he married a gal who knew how to handle it (and him, when necessary).

It's one of those things that comes under "for better or for worse, in sickness and in health," whether you made that specific promise at your wedding or not. I hope your husband is being checked regularly by your doctor. You would be wise to talk with the doctor as well, and ask him/her these good questions you have. You're certainly on the right track.

K.

I am dealing with a similar issue with my mother. I read your post because she recently had to quit working due to neurapathy (nerve damage) in her feet a complication of her diabetes. She was denied social security. So she will be coming to stay with us. I dont know what to expect. This was helpful. Thanks and best of luck to you and your hubby.

I do not live with a diabetic husband YET, but given his family's history I will some day. His mom and a brother and a sister all have it. Also, this year there is a diabetic child in my daughter's class, so we've all been briefed on what to watch for. Based on what I've learned, yes, when blood sugar is low decision making is indeed affected. You may need to have him drink that juice box while standing in front of you to make sure it happens when it needs to. He may resent being told what to do (low sugar also makes folks irritable) but once he realizes the difference in the physical price he pays for low sugar episodes when he acts quickly, he may become grateful for your "interference."

I have no experience with diabetes, but I think that the issue here is communication and understanding your role. You need to talk to him (when his blood sugar is low, and you don't have the baby around), and possibly with the doctor too. What does he need from you? Does he need you to nag until he does something? Do you need to be prepared to pour and hand him that juice when he needs it? Waiting on a man hand and foot, isn't an ideal situation, but if you know ahead of time that when the baby is around he gets distracted or when his blood sugar is low he gets forgetful, you can at least be prepared for what is expected of you to help stop some of these episodes.

My husband is a wonderful man and remembers almost all important dates. There was an event at my son's daycare and he read the paper, we talked about it, he said he might be able to go, but probably not. I then mentioned it twice the week of. When he missed it, he was sooo mad at me. I knew that it wasn't my fault if he wasn't listening to me when we talked, and didn't write it down when he needed to, or at least ask me to remind him about it. I am the forgetful one after all! After we talked he said that he needed help remembering important dates at the daycare, nagging if need be. I don't like the nagging, but if it will prevent some fights and allow him to attend the events that he wants to, to be there for our son, I am willing to do it. I just needed to know what was expected of me.