Dicipline - Schenectady,NY

Updated on May 19, 2008
M.H. asks from Schenectady, NY
9 answers

I am a single parent i have joint custody of my 6 year old daughter, when I have her she is generally a really good kid, but when she will not listen to me i don't know how to punish her... what is a good way of dealing with this issue?

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So What Happened?

Thanks everyone who gave me advice on how to discipline my 6 year old. I tried a few of the suggestions and it worked she did not like having the things she really liked taken away from her, now all I have to do is even threaten her that I will take it away and she does
not think its worth having the things she enjoys taken away so now she listens....again thanks.....

M.

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L.L.

answers from Hartford on

A time out chair or spot, really does the trick. One minute per year of age is appropriate..two minutes is a long time to a two year old and 6 is forever to a 6 year old. They will fight you to sit there at first, but be firm and put the child back in the chair until the timer goes off, and they say they are sorry and then you hug them..If they misbehave again, one threat to the "Time out chair" and then the second time it's the chair..It works great every time once they get it that you won't give in..If you do give in to their tears they'll see this works and never stop misbehaving..

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S.D.

answers from Scranton on

I have found the spanking does nothing...and isn't always the most widely accepted form of discipline. It depends on what my 6 year old does, but he will get a time out for about 6 minutes (a minute for each year of your child) after that you are fighting a losing battle. Six minutes of quiet gives him a chance to think about it. If the timeout doesn't work, I take away privilages, for example his playstation 2, that is a tough one for him to lose for awhile. My biggest problem is his aditude, I take time off if he is better and add if there is no change. Consistanty is the most important thing, when you find a way that works, stick to it. That way they know that you are serious. I also use Behavior Charts for Monday thru Friday, the kids loved doing them as it became a part of their routine...after a month of good charts they get to do or get something special.

Good luck!

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T.D.

answers from Buffalo on

Just don't give in to her. One of my biggest pet peeves are the parents that will always say "My kid didn't do that". If you don't stand your ground with her, she will use that to her advantage because she knows she can (yes, even at 6yrs old). You have to use your best judgement with the punishment should fit the crime. I have 3 kids (16yrs, 15yrs, and 11 1/2yrs) so when they don't listen, they lose computer time for the day. I have also taken away the game controllers (not the game since you cant use the games w/o the controllers) to their xbox and I have taken away social time (this especially gets my 16yr old daughter). Somethings more serious I use tougher punishment, but i do give them one chance, and one chance only. You can be a friend to your child, but you must always be a parent first. They may not like you at the beginning, but they will respect you in the end.

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R.M.

answers from Buffalo on

M. watch shows like the nanny and nanny 911 they believe in time out and i think it will work my daughter is only 9 months old but when it comes time to dicipline i am going t use the time out rule and it is 1 min for every year old the child is so she is 6 yrs old so it would be 6 mins for time out and sit her someplace where there is no tv or no toys or anything and when the 6 mins is up get down to her level and ask her if she knows why she is in time out then make her say she is sorry then she can get up tyr this and good luck it may take awhile but she will get it

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K.M.

answers from Williamsport on

Honestly you must first look at what she did wrong, to me this would determine the punishment. I have a 5 year old son and he can be a handful here are some things that I do:

Issue: arguing with me, just being unruly
Resolution: send him to his room and tell him to think about it once he is ready to come out and start acting the way he is suppose to we can continue with our day

Issue: lying
Resolution: Dishsoap on the tongue....not a lot, but enough that he gets the point (only had to do this once)

Issue: Misbehaving in school
Resolution: No TV for three days, or no skating, or park or whatever he was looking forward to.

For the most part I try to come up with a punishment to fit the crime.

Good Luck

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S.V.

answers from Burlington on

Hi M.:

My husband and I are having the same issues with our 6 year old son. I can't imagin trying to do it alone. What we have learned is taking things away may on work. Try time out by sending them to there room. You know your child best. Maybe taking things away is the right thing to do. Just remember the 3 R's....Is it responsible, reasonable and related. Like if she will not sit at the dinner table, make her help you do the dishes insted of play time.

I hope that this helps,

Good Luck and God Bless,
S.

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J.W.

answers from Jamestown on

At six years old she is old enough to understand behavior and consequences. Taking away a privilage or giving time outs from favorite toys or sitting her in a chair where there is nothing fun to do or look at may get the point across that she needs to listen to you. For my children I would decide what it is that would get their attention should they lose it then sit them down when while they were behaving and tell them the importance of listening to me and that if they chose not to behave (this way I can stress that their behavior is their own punnisher or rewarder) then you have no choice but to take way the predecided item.
When the time comes to enforce I would tell them how sorry I was that they chose not to listen and I wish they had but because of THEIR choice they were now going to lose "fill in the blank".
Teaching them that what they do or don't do makes a difference in what they have or don't have, and putting the onus on them helps mold better behavior.. or at least it did with my kiddos.

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J.B.

answers from Scranton on

I think it's important to figure out why she's not listening to you and go from there. I recommend the MDC discipline board. They have a neat book list and lots of other resources up: http://www.mothering.com/discussions/forumdisplay.php?s=7...

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S.P.

answers from Scranton on

Time outs are good. Make her sit how ever many minutes she is old (6 minutes, because she is 6) This really helps. You can also discipline her by taking away something she likes, like video games, or a toy. Give it back when she is behaving.

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