Difficult Since Birth

Have you tried white noise - like from a hair dryer or vaccum cleaner or even a loud humidifier. That worked for my daughter.

I work at a chiropractor's office and I know this will sound weird but have him adjusted. I didn't have chiropractic until I was 30 years old and started working for this office. I had my newborn adjusted at 2 weeks old and she started sleeping 7 hours a night! (I had it throughout my second pregnancy and it made pregnancy and labor a breeze, too.) In the last 2 years I have seen many children and parents are amazed, more importantly, I am amazed at the results. It's worth a try. Chiropractic is usually covered by insurance, a fact that I was unaware of until I started working for one. If you have any further questions about it, I always enjoy passing along this information, please send me a message on Mamapedia.

This sounds like my oldest son and in the end there was something wrong but he wasn't diagnosed until he was 10 years old. My son did have a dairy allergy, as well as celiac disease and a soy allergy. In my experience, your gut instinct is correct and your husband is wrong in saying you are spoiling him - you are acting as any mother should and trying to sooth and nurture your baby.

I'm not familiar with the formula you are on - by liquid gold are you referring to breastmilk? Either way, even formulas and breastmilk that are considered okay for kids with dairy allergies can still have trace amounts of milk protein, so a baby that is allergic can react even to breastmilk if the mother is consuming dairy - that was my son's problem.

I would strongly recommend you get the baby tested for food reactions. You can actually get tested for the dairy, gluten, soy, egg and yeast on your own through enterolab: www.enterolab.com

That was how my sons finally got diagnosed because I got sick and tired of doctors telling me there was nothing wrong with them when I really felt there was.

Also, if you are still getting him vaccinated, I would consider delaying any additional vaccinations. Some kids are far more sensitive to the additives (aluminum and formaldehyde) which are toxins and this can just add to the problems and make a child super sensitive to the environment and thus require this constant reassurance and comforting from mama.

Also, the prevacid that is helping with reflux actually makes it more difficult for your baby to digest any food due to the lowering of the stomach acid. Reflux is a very common symptom of an intolerance to dairy and wheat/gluten.

My daughter was like that. Wouldn't stop crying unless directly in physical contact with me. She was like this for nearly a year. Now she is completely healthy, happy, smart, social, and in general a joy. We never did find out why she cried so much. I held her all the time, let her sleep with us, breastfed her, and in general did whatever I could to comfort her during this difficult time. I have never regretted it, because I felt that she needed the comfort.

I do encourage you to continue to try and find out what is going on, though, with his health.

Good luck! Hang in there.

Hi R..

I would classify my son (now 4) as a high needs baby. Not to the extent that you describe your baby, but in lots of ways, I can relate. I felt like I had to hold him all the time. He would only be content being on his own for very brief intervals without crying to be picked up. He nursed on demand, and would wake many times a night to nurse. This waking behavior lasted way longer than breastfeeding, until he was 18 months old, waking 5 or more times a night wanting a bottle or to be "nursed" back to sleep. So I do have some idea what it's like to have a high needs baby. But after reading your post, I couldn't help but think there may be something more going on with your baby. You said he is already being treated for reflux, which is an obvious first thought, but if it's not that, maybe it's something else. ?? Sorry I don't have any suggestions to that end, but anytime I had/have questions about health/behavior/etc., I usually consult the Sears doctors. They are a family of well-respected pediatricians. They have written books, and are often consulted on tv shows, etc. I have attached their link, for the part of their site dealing with "Fussy Babies." I know you are dealing with more than just fussiness, but there is a lot of info on this page, maybe a tidbit of it might help you, or at least maybe lead you in another direction for some answers.

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/5/T051200.asp

And I agree with you - you are doing what you have to with your baby to preserve your sanity, maintain your functioning, and give your baby comfort. There is nothing wrong with that.

I understand your situation. Our son is very much the same way still at 13 months(not to disappoint you). He too is a reflux baby(my second). Recently, I started to tell him that if he continues to cry for no apparent reason (i.e., not hungry, recently changed, has had medicine etc...) then he must go up to his room. This actually works sometimes. I explain things to him, bring him upstairs and put him in his crib(without tucking him in). When he continues to cry I wait until there is a minute of quieter crying, walk in and ask him if he is done crying. If he starts up I sit next to his crib and wait to see if he will quiet down. If he doesn't then I tell him I have to leave and will come back when he quiets down. I have only had to go through the entire process once. He usually quiets down after we put him in there the first time. I know, you hate to do this to a baby. It sounds a bit hard core but they understand more than they let on. He is very demanding, very sensitive and very persistent. I have to tell myself every day that I am doing my best and he will grow out of it eventually( I think boys are more difficult as girls are more independant). Good luck. Hope this helps any.
Addendum: My first (daughter) was eventually put on nutramigen(expensive). I noticed no definitive change her physically or personality. She still refluxes (at night-I occasionally do "sleepovers" in our room to assess how she is sleeping). My daughter did go to a chiropracter for 3 months. The sessions helped calm her for about 1-2 hours after ea. session but no long-term help. My son went right to milk from breastmilk. He did not go to a chiropracter. I noticed no difference once both were on milk or foods. BTW-WE ARE STARTING TO SEE SOME IMPROVEMENT IN HIS "DEALING" WITH LIFE. He is recently happier and starting to pick up on cues, following direction etc...I think the new independance he feels is helping him feel better about life. Good luck again to you!

I was also going to suggest what Melissa said. My sister's baby is 10 weeks now but she cried for hours on end and she also had reflux. My sister took her to Dr. Chalmers at Chalmers Wellness in Frisco, even though she lives in Rhome, TX (about 45 minutes away).....he checked the baby, has my sister drinking salt water (it is a nutritional salt??? that they sell for $13) since she is breastfeeding and he adjusted the baby, which was much different than I expected....long story short, the baby's reflux is gone, seriously and she has not been fussy....she is a great sleeper at night. I think she has had three adjustments and the Dr. said that she is holding the adjustments well so there is no need for further ones unless she cries for a couple of days unexplained....then she may need to return but he did not think that would happen. AMAZING....I so wish I knew about this with my HM (high maintenance) baby girl that is now four and fine (she did get adjusted at like 2 though).

http://chalmerswellness.com

He will do a free consult too.

I think you've gotten some good tips here. I agree that you need to trust your mom radar. If you feel there is something more going on with him, then keep pressing, keep trying new things until you figure it out!

In the mean time, though, have you tried wearing him? You can get baby carriers and put him on your back for a while. At least that way you can get things done, go for a walk, etc. I personally prefer the Mai Tai style baby carrier and have a Babyhawk brand. It has no weight limit and they actually show a man carrying his wife in it on the website! Mine is quite comfortable and I've even put my three year old in it before. There are many different styles and brands of carriers, check out babywearing.com to see what they all are as well as reviews of brands. Once you decide on a style you like, you can also find hand made ones in Etsy.com

Good luck!!

Please try to pick up a copy of Dr Sears' "The Fussy Baby" -- Parenting hte High Needs CHild. Dr. Sears is an excellent and gentle resource on everything.

GL

I was so pleased to read the responses and see the suggestions for baby wearing and chiropractic adjustments. When I first read your question those were my immediate gut reactions. I had my baby first adjusted at 1 month old. I actually had a chiropractor that specializes in the Webster method to come help me in my labor. From what you described it does not sound like you simply have a high needs child. It sounds like he is in pain and uncomfortable but has learned to find comfort on some level from contact with his mama. Here are 2 names of fantastic pediactric Chiropractors. I have used them both.

Dr. Chandra L. Crisp D.C. ###-###-####
Dr. Pam Kendall D.C. ###-###-#### ###-###-####

Both are also mothers. Good luck with your baby and I hope all this information is helpful! Hopefully you are on the road to a happy healthy baby. Always trust your mommy instinct when it tells you there is soemthing wrong with your little one.

I know how you feel. My daughter was exactly like this. she was diagnosed with colic, reflux...etc. Nothing helped at all. when she was 4 months old I took her to a really good Osteopath and he aligned her, telling me she was extremely out of alignment in her neck (most likely from her fast birth). AMAZING, she was cured after 2 sessions with him. She stopped crying all the time and was able to be put down for the first time in her life. Soon she started sleeping better though the night etc. I think she was in pain her whole life and once she was aligned she felt sooooo much better.

so my advice is see and osteopath!
good luck!

It is so tough and wearing. Try and get a little respite for you. I had the same with my first. She cried day and night until she learned to walk. If you feel there is something not quite right, the go with your gut! Start looking at milestones and seeing what he is doing and not doing that might direct you to some questions. I wish you the best and that you might get a nights sleep. It is SO hard to not get any rest from this!!

Hmmm, this is awful for you! I agree with the other poster who mentioned knowing how long he's been on the new formula. It can take a really long time for the milk proteins to be out of his sytem (up to 6 weeks) so if the formula was a recent change, maybe it will solve the problem, it just hasn't yet. If not, well then I might advocate for some food allergy testing too. We've talked to our pediatrician a lot about this b/c I have some concerns with my 8 month old as well, mik, wheat, etc...and he said that 80% of kids with food allergies out grow them by 12 months. Therefore he usually recommends waiting to test until after then b/c it can be really painful for the kiddos, however, he also said that if there is an extreme case, he would recommend doing it before then. Our case isn't extreme, but I would venture to say yours is. I would press your ped. about it as well as the GI. There has to be something else going on, as you said, and I do believe in a mother's instincts. Keep asking questions and hang in there!

Have you given your son 10 days on the new formula? Just wondering as I know it took about 10-14 days for my baby to clean out his system of milk protein.

moms always know.. go to another dr.. until you feel that you are getting the answers you need. something is bothering him... get his eyes checked, get his nose/sinus checked.. get it all checked.. and see what is up.. good luck...

I agree with Stephanie K I would take him to a chiropractor. Birth is very traumatic on a baby there could be something pinched that the Ped wont know how to treat.

Good luck and God Bless!!!

First, I am sooo sorry you are dealing with this. Our twins cried a lot. It was torturous and it was hard on my relationship with my husband. We made it through and they are great 4 year olds. : )

You have received lots of great advice, although I didn't read all. Make sure that you give the new formula a chance. We tried the expensive stuff and then switched to soy and it helped.

Also, this is going to sound silly but my son would cry when we had scented candles burning or plug ins going. The only reason I figured out they bothered him was when we went into a candle store and he started screaming. As soon we left, he was fine. It happened again when we went to my parents house and my mom had the scented oil things in every room. We had to unplug all of them. Worth a try if you have them or the candles. I also quit wearing perfume until he was older.

The sling is also a great idea. Some babies just need more contact with mommy.

Good luck! Blessings to you!! Hang in there!

Stephanie

Good Afternoon,
i just wanted to give my imput, my son who will be four this year, also suffered from severe reflux to the point where he developed a "weak jaw" according to his pedi, and had to take several years of feeding therapy.
ANYWay.. we opted to not give him medicine but rather went on formula called Alimentum, its expensive but it helped so much.... just a thought. i hope your baby gets better.

If you think something is wrong, then keep looking for answers. Your son is a baby and can't speak for himself, so you have to be the one who fights for him. Your son is blessed to have a mommy who cares for him so much. I think your husband should take a lesson. Good luck to you and your little one!

Could it be colic? He could have extreme gas. Try gripe water, its all natural and can be found at pharmacies or health food stores. My son was very coilicky up until he was six months but mostly at night. Then once that was over he began teething! But gripe water helped for both.

The most important thing is that you have to get some relief sometime. Have your hubby takeover while you get your shower and maybe take him for a car ride (does he like being in the car?) or maybe a stroll around the neighborhood.