I've been on a bit of a roller coaster with my daughter since this summer. She's a great kid for the most part - very bright, active, does great in school, etc. But then some old behavior zombies came to life & she started acting out. Time-out turned into a battle, where I would eventually have to lean on the door to keep her in her room, and she would resort to hitting me, saying I'm mean, etc. She's seen a psychiatrist and is on her way to being put on meds for ADHD. I've done my own research, as have some relatives of mine, and we believe she may have Asperger's. When she gets in trouble at school, what's the proper way to respond at home? I've have taken privledges away but I wonder if that's too much punishment, since she was already put in time-out at school. But I do make it a point to talk to her about her behavior. I also wonder what kind of chores or duties around the house I should be having her do, aside from the obvious of keeping her room in order. Thanks for your help.
Be sure to address the behavior modification (with expert help if needed) as well as the chemical need. This may help her get off the meds eventually.
Rush to ChildrensBehaviorHelp.com, we have found this wonderful source for the most amazing assistance-really please do not put her on drugs, there really is an answer and we found it, and I want to share it with everyone. Best of luck- Ky
I have taught my children to clean the bathroom, do the dishes (when younger, they can concentrate on plastics and such that won't break), vacuum the floor, clean windows, and lot more. They just do it on a smaller scale when younger.
FYI - I believe my son is ADD, and I keep him focused and on task by not giving him any sugar drinks at all, all he drinks is water except for a little apple juice at breakfast. Only one small sugar treat a day. It is amazing how much even the natual sugar can throw him off.
Hey there - I have two "spirited" boys. They are a huge handful at home, but are angels at school. Some would say I am lucky since I don't get calls from school, but I say what is happening to their "real selves" at school? I had a horrible time in school (I hated it from day one) and I am beginnning to realize that kids today just don't see the point of it. Schools don't engage the kids and they certainly don't take the time to try to work with someone like your daughter who may need to look at things in a different way in order to learn.
Everyone seems to forget that we send our kids to school to learn. It is sad to me that kids are forced to sit quietly or even take medication because some teacher can't deal with a kid who may need to learn in a new and different way.
I am so disillusioned with school (and mine went to a good one!) we will be homeschooling (unschooling) next year. I am so excited to see my incredibly bright boys learn because they love to learn, not because someone says they have to.
If your daughter has to be in a traditional school, take a look at it from her perspective. She definitely doesn't need more punishment at home for "misbehaving" at school (where she probably wonders why she has to do this dumb stuff anyway).
I think someone else said to see if you can observe the class. I hate to say it, but teachers can be pretty clever (it may not be obvious) at causing shame and embarassment to keep kids "in line". Maybe your daughter would do better at a different school or with a different teacher. I know, easier said than done.
Good luck and just know that your daughter was born with a bright spirit, ready and eager to learn and take on the world, and schools are not intended to develop that (quite the opposite). Enjoy her spirit as much as you can at home and do things she likes to do (not chores) to give her a break from the rigors of school.
Please don't put your child on meds. You'll squash her vibrant spirit. I know right now her behavior may be seen as "bad", but her energy will balance out and be channeled into a happy hobby or sport. Consider her diet. Most ADHD candidates are eating dyes (in so many foods) and artificial chemicals. Some bodies just can't take this stuff. Do research on the Feingold Diet and read my article ADHD/ADD: A Wholistic Approach....
http://www.wheelsoflight.org/custom/index.cfm?ID=106475
You may consider sitting in on class and seeing her behavior and how the teacher is with the kids. I know moms who have pulled their children out of classes because their child wasn't understood by the teacher and was simply labeled "bad". This is not a good way to grow up. Consider changing schools and finding a sympathetic teacher with a big heart. I homeschool my exuberant 7 year old. And she's a happy helper around the house.
M., i feel its your call on how, and what other ways to punish your daughter. its also good that you talk to her about her wrong behaviors. you know your daughter better than anyone and you should know what is the right amount of punishment for (her). i personally think that a punishment at home + (and at school) isnt too harsh. its not like you beat her or anything. (that would be tooo harsh!) just trust your gut/heart of what is right,(mom).
