Dear A.,
I believe dish washing chores are a perfect exercise for your kids to show their respect and care about you by learning to be helpful, kind and participating in creating a beautiful place where you all live.
So grew up my brother and myself, so grew up my three kids: no dishwasher. We did it in turns, but ALL participating every time: as you have three of them full-capable of doing it, then add + the little one as a HAPPY-HELPER!
This is how it goes:
Kid No. 1 lays the table every time as if it is a holiday: nice and creative, plates, forks, spoons, and knives not thrown on the table put set up in a nice arrangement.
Kids No. 2 and 3 are responsible for clean-up: they take all the things back to the kitchen, and start washing.
As kid No. one was responsible for the TABLE, (s)he will wash the table with the sponge and a washcloth, + plus sweep the floor clean from all the crumbs.
Kid No. 2 is washing the dishes with the dish washing liquid,
thoroughly rinsing every dish from both sides
Kid No.3 is DRYING the dishes with a towel.
OR
kid no.2 is washing the dishes with the dish washing soap
and kid No.3 is rinsing the dishes well and clean from dish washing soap.
(Sorry I write so silly things, but these are EXACT moments where they will have problems in the beginning, so you will need to stress it well, while teaching them and then checking at times whether the work is done well).
if you decide this is a good idea for home-helping chores (what else are they busy with to show that they are part of the crew and really help to make family life great???)
then tell them that new rules come in and there is noway to escape so better let's do it with JOY.
You can offer little treats for a good job.
After dishes are washed, the sink, counter, and floor need to be clean and tidy like on the pirate ship after the big storm washed the deck and the sun dried the last spots!
This is the two dish-responsible kids' task.
So, every day, one kid gets an easier job of being responsible for the dining table (coffee table if it will happen by the TV), kind of "day-off" from dishes: fair, right?!
Alternate the list, let them switch places if they need so, but make sure all is FAIR (this is important for kids, you know this :) ).
There is NOWAY as to my opinion, to pay for the dishwasher use, if you have three happy helpers + one happy helpers' helper :)
Good luck!!! BE CREATIVE, INVENTIVE, MAKE IT FUN, AND TEACH THEM PATIENTLY HOW TO MAKE IT WORK WELL.
IMPORTANT NOTE: DO NOT GET UPSET AND ANGRY, NEVER.
THIS CAN NEVER BE A PUNISHMENT !!! THIS IS A HAPPY TIME !!!
If they did not do it well, say "sorry dear ones, this needs to be done over, that's the law", and keep being a happy mom.
For bigger ones, the treat may be something bigger that may happen at the end of the week (movie theater) or the other day, as they can relate.
However, the 6 years' old cannot put timing together well, so it's better to have some immediate treat: extra 15 minutes of video games (if you have such in the house).
The 2 years' old needs momentary treat: candy right after being a good helper, thus, they relate and figure out the benefits of caring about their chores.
Now, as it needs to be FAIR in comparison also,
I believe it won't hurt if
EVEY HELPER GETS ONE LITTLE CANDY AFTER THE WORK IS DONE,
GETS 15 MINUTES OF VIDEO GAME (OR WHATEVER THEY VALUE AND YOU ARE IN CHARGE OF),
AND ALL GO TO THE MOVIE THEARE (fishing, hiking eetc.) WITH HAPPY MOM AND DAD AT THE END OF THE WEEK,
PROVIDED THE WEEK WENT WITHOUT PROBLEMS on dish washing:
as you didn't pay for dishwasher,
you save some money on some field-trips...
In case if there were problems: not everything accomplished, or done inaccurately, then (minus video games' time or some other things what they like, adding it by points, depending how bad it was).
okay, I wrote you so lengthily just to show how it works in connection with other things, and because you say you have a "passion for positive parenting AND DISCIPLINE" = for this sentence, I applaud to you!!!!!
Keep it HAPPY at all times,
and you will have wonderful closest kindred :):):):)
surrounding you in your older age :) !!!
HappyBe, and have a great summer!