He will likely get full custody until you are working and making enough to support your kids and yourself without any assistance programs. That is happening more and more and more.
You will be ordered to pay child support and ordered to pay spousal support, which is just mean on the judges part in my mind.
I think you need to get a job right now. It sounds like your kids are old enough to be in school or child care so you have no valid reason to not work a full time job. There is no reason a SAHM should not work if she wants to.
You have to start thinking about your kids and yourself.
If your kids are teens then they will be allowed to choose who they live with. If dad is fun and not into rules they will pick him. That's just going to happen. If he's really this mean and they blame him they will have to testify to that in court, in front of dad. They should start writing down every altercation they see or are part of. That will give them credibility in the eyes of the judge.
Get to an attorney's office today and talk to them about the off short accounts and the property. You will need to be very pro-active. Once he decides to do a divorce you will find all the paper work that refers to any and all accounts will suddenly be gone from it's filing place, it will be empty. There will be no records for you to say there is money so that money will be gone.
My friend that just went through a divorce a year or so ago accidentally found her hubby's stash place for all the money records. She also hacked into his computer and found tons of extra credit cards in his name and stashed money all sorts of places. She didn't get much of it in her final settlement. He made over $100K per year and had retirement with his employer where they matched his savings up to a point. He had tons of money in that account.
BUT because she didn't work outside of the home and financially contribute to those accounts the judge decreed that it was "HIS" money and not part of the family assets! Seriously! I read the decree on the online court records for my county. I was totally shocked, she got $30,000 settlement. Since that's not considered to be a stable income HE GOT FULL CUSTODY of the kids and she had to pay a chunk of that money back to him for past due child support.
This country is seriously getting messed up.