Divorce & Unemployment

congrats on your cool array of talents! having virtually none myself, i'm always in awe of people who can do this many things well!
your lawyer is giving you advice from one fairly narrow perspective, and it sounds as if even that perspective is outdated (as your husband is not willing to take a lower-paying position and is soon to be unemployed.)
i think it's more realistic to approach the situation proactively, ie 'what can i do to provide for myself and my kids, and have a great productive life?'
and it sounds as if you are well able to do that.
avoiding going to work in order to extract the maximum from an already shaky source will certainly not be satisfying, and probably not sustaining.
proceed on the assumption that anything he's able to give you is a bonus, and go start your baking empire!
cakepops. mmmmm. cakepops.
:) khairete
S.

1. It IS the economy. On average, it takes an unemployed person 18 months to find a job. 18 months of drawing unemployment. My husband took 9 months (with a Master's Degree and extensive managerial and behavioral health experience). He STILL took a massive pay cut.

2. You move on with the divorce by getting your own place and getting a job. Do NOT rely on your husband's unemployment in any way, shape or form. It's very unlikely that, once the divorce is final, you will be awarded any kind of support, other than child support. You need to be able to support yourself without his income.

you have to get a job to support you and the kids. his being unemplyoed shouldnt affect you getting a divroce...it will only affect what you would be getting for child support but you really have to start becoming independent and be able to live without his momey...afterall you wont be married you shouldnt be relying on him and hust dong fun side jobs

I was unemployed for a year, now under-employed for almost two years. I work two jobs to make the bills. Both of which I am "over qualified" for, but damn happy to have.

I was in a similar situation as your soon to be ex. High salary, but applying for anything, within and outside of, my field. Many were afraid to hire me because they assumed I would leave their lower paying job as soon as something on "my level" came open. Despite my assurance of giving them at least 24 months of employment.

Many did not hire me because I was over qualified - like more qualified than the people I would be working for.

I got interviews constantly - they always went very well, until salary was discussed and they found out what my prior salary was. I knew they could match it, I was not asking for that, but they always shied away at that point.

So your STBX could be in a similar place - many are right now.

You need a job, pronto, now, tomorrow. Any kind of job. If he goes on UE he will not be able to help you or the kids financially. If you have no income, how will you support the kids? Pay you attorney? Provide medical insurance? etc. etc.

Maybe, instead of starting your own business right now - that takes capital to cover expenses for up to 2 years - look to find a job in a bakery or a restaurant. Advertising/marketing. Hair salon. You have many options. Put together a resume and start putting yourself out there.

I think you need to re-visit this situation with your attorney and plainly ask what are your options for support et al if he is unemployed. It is a huge game changer.

Good Luck

My friend lost custody of her kids due to not having her own income, she is not able to support her kids so she lost them. I have seen this more and more and more. He makes over $100K per year and her child support would have easily been over $1000 per month. She could have lived on that if she'd lived on their farm that was paid for. BUT since she was a SAHM she did NOT get custody.

The judge decided that each of them would be responsible for each of their own bills from the day he moved out. That means she loses the farm, the vehicles, all the livestock, etc....because he stopped paying on those when he moved out. She got kicked out of the house by the bank over a loan for feed since he would not give her money for the running of the farm. She lives in a one room apartment in a college town while she goes to school. She works 40+ hours per week so she can pay her child support and spousal support. She got 1/2 of his retirement but it's in trust for some reason or another.
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You do realize that unemployment is only a few hundred dollars a week right? He won't have any money. Nothing to contribute to your household expenses. You will have to go to work, there is nothing you can do that won't put you having to provide a living and home for your family. So if you can't afford to live on what income you can make you need to stay married until you can go to college, get a degree, get employed, get some money saved up so you can have a cushion for when you lose your job a time or two, then and only then will you be financially able to file for divorce and have no worries what so ever about custody and being able to support your kids without child support in case he can't find another job.

You cannot be a SAHM anymore. You have to go to work and start building a savings account and learning to take care of your own bills and stuff. His income will not be yours anymore.

If you continue to listen to your lawyer, you will be on welfare while hubs collects unemployment. Even if you don't make much money, you need to at least make an effort to help support yourself and your children. Spousal support will probably be for a limited time so you might as well get started on a career path now.

It's unfortunate that this happened to your hubs. The jobless rate makes it very difficult for people to find a job earning six figures, especially without an advanced degree. Heck, even people with those degrees are out of work or are working for much less pay. IMHO, any income is better than none!

Your questions are twofold. You are asking about the job market and how to divorce while he is out of work? I can tell you that my career was similar to his in that I worked my way up the ladder and held positions typically reserved for more educated people, making good money. I left to take care of a sick child for 2+ years and tried to enter back in the workforce during the recession. Employers can be more picky and pay less. Education is key these days. Professional reputation is helpful and gets you an interviews but there are a lot of people competing for those high paying positions. There are a lot of jobs out there but the majority pay very little. Should he settle for half? I believe the market is better and improving but it really depends on how much is in savings, and what taking a lower paying job will do to the potential of getting one of those higher paying jobs later. Its hard because future employment typically relies on current salary but employers prefer hiring canadates currently employed. Ideally, if the money was there he should go to school and depending on job type, do consulting at his level of expertise.
But with pending separation and divorce, I can't speak to that because I have not been in that situation but only digest, since you believe he is aware of the status of the marriage, to approach it as a plan to get through together, with the end being positive for you both. You don't want to just ditch him high and dry. Nothing to gain from that but anger and animosity. There is a child involved. A lot of purple pin this job market are starting their own businesses. Both of you could do that, but it really is still very difficult. Is a hard market to get customers, you have to be unique and savvy. And you have to figure out how to live on the ebb and flow of your income. No steady paycheck, no employee benefits. Lots to think about. I'm sorry about your marriage and this predicament.