Divorce Proceedings...

Go by his work, ask a mutual friend where he lives, tell his girlfriend! She will get him to sign those papers! :o)

If you know where he works, have it hand delivered to him there. If it is in front of others, he can't deny he received it.

My ex husband pulled that same bs.

Does your soon to be ex husband have a job? Have your lawyer arrange to have him served at work, that's what I had to do since my ex wouldnt give me a home address.

Depending on the state, he can be served by the local (or county) sheriffs department or by an agency that will serve him. You will have to pay for the service either way, but it's better than going nuts trying to get him to call you back.

By him refusing to call you back, he's holding control over you. Don't let him.

Call your lawyer and let him/her know what's going on.

Another alternative, depending on the laws in your state, may be to mail them to him at his work address with a signature required.

I had the same thing happen - I had to pay my attorney a fee to have the sheriff serve him with papers and then the day the papers were served my attorney requested a court date (it had to be after 30 days in NC) from the date the papers were served and then my attorney went to court, I didn't have to go at all and I received my divorce. My daughter just graduated from college this year and my preacher had advised me not to date until my divorce was finalized - I met a Christian Man (YEAH) and we have been married almost 2 years and he is a true blessing from the Lord and I thank Him everyday! I will be praying for you. Good Luck! :)

C.:

I went thru this same thing when trying to divorce my husband. He lived in another state and even tho he was a convicted Felon - they could not find him to serve the papers. What ended up happening (after 1 year) was that I was granted a divorce because we had documentation that we had tried to serve the papers on him. You (soon to be) ex husband cannot delay the proceedings for very long. They will grant you a divorce even if he does not sign the papers. Call your attorney and speak with them regarding the fact that he has told people he will not sign the papers. Also due to the fact that he is currently living with another woman - might make the judge do something sooner as it will appear that he is just not responding to upset and control you.

Good luck!!

S.

After surviving three of these deals you get to know their game, both the men and the lawyers...almost anyone can serve your soon-to-be-ex. My 2nd ex-husband had his uncle serve me at home. I gave him a big hug and made him coffee. My 2nd ex was living with his girlfriend also.
Don't let the lawyers fool you, watch out for the hidden additional fees, every phone call to you or about your case, each attempt to serve papers, hourly rates could be at the fee of a lawyer or a parilegal.
Before you clean out your savings on a lawyer, do what you can on your own. And ask and/or tell the lawyer up front what you expect and want to know from him.
You don't say whether this soon-to-be-ex is paying his child support. If he has left that responsibilty for a year file in family court to go back as far as you can. As long as your daughter is in college she is still his responsibilty too. You don't even need an attorney for family court in most states.

Your attorney will have to file a complaint with the court. If your husband has been living with his girlfriend for a year that is legally "abandonment", and he gives up many rights since he did that which puts you in a good position. You force the issue in court, and the judge decides on the divorce and settlement. If your husband won't cooperate he doesn't get to have anything to say about the settlement, and the judge decides everything. Has your attorney discussed this with you? Your attorney should be able to proceed without your husband's cooperation, especially since he is living with someone else. You don't have to let your husband control the situation. You can be in control legally. Go for it, and good luck!

C.,
I've been through this twice now, and I feel your pain. Rest assured, if he doesn't sign, or agree to something, you'll probably get whatever you want. If he does not hire his own attorney, and respond in the allotted time, he won't have a chance to later. The nice thing about this is if your husband is the type to procrastinate and just talk big, you'll come out ahead, no matter what he wants to tell anyone.
Just my 2 cents,
M.

You sound like you are the one that was the "people pleaser" in the relationship! Definately let the attorney do the work. You have to give him the information you know and let them handle it. It may require a PI or whatever, but don't contact you husband. There is nothing to gain. I have a friend who has been through this and believe me, there is no reasoning directly with the husbands. You are fortunate that your daughter is old enough that you may never have to deal with him over her. That would make your life more difficult. The attorney should know how to handle the situation and if they don't, get a new attorney!
As far as the faith thing goes, I understand how you feel. In some religions you may get an annulment. You many want to check into that. That will free you from any guilt on your part.
Best of luck. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Not sure where u live. Obviously theres nothing to contest. What I did was run an ad in the classified section of the paper for 6 weeks that u r filing, etc. That way its public knowledge,and he cant say he knows nothing about it.Ask a legal counsel, I did, and was free in less than 2 months. Good luck sis.

First of all you are so strong to have made it this far. I am so sorry for your loss.
North Carolina is one of the few states that lets you sue the "other woman" in the picture for alienation of affection.
While that may not be the case, a threat to disrupt his present situation may be just what is needed to kick his tail into action.
Just a thought.

C.,

It is the responsibility of your attorney to have your spouse served. If you don't have an address for him then the officers of the court can serve him at his job. Good luck to you and I hope all goes well for you.

C. K

C.,
You will be in my prayers, V.

Your attorney should be the one to see that he gets served. You are going to have to ignore him, the more you try to make contact the more you feed his ego. He has made it clear that he wants nothing to do with you and you should not put yourself through any unnecessary issues with him. You will be in my prayers.

Have your lawyer send the copy via sheriff. It doesn't matter if he wants the divorce or not or wants the papers or not. The sheriff will find him and serve him the papers and the divorce will proceed as you plan. Once he is served, he doesn't even need to show up in court for the proceedings. There is a fee, but it is worth it to get things moving.

Simply let your attorney know that you have no way of getting a hold of him. That's part of his job in helping you.

Have him served with the papers and a court date.If he doesnt show up then your divorce will be finalized and he can say nothing about it.Write everything up the way you want,what you want etc and go from there.Also talk to your lawyer about what you can/cant do at this time.They should be able advise you on this..good luck..
S. B

talk to your lawyer he can be served the papers by the sheriff. good luck

C. M,

Does your lawyer know that he is leaving with another woman? That is adultry and if he does not sign the divorce the Judge should give a time limit and finalize the divorce and should give you majority of what you want. Check with the lawyer and make sure your ex pays your lawyer for all of the extra time you have had to spend on the divorce! Hope that helps! I have been there!!!

C....

I went through something similar and if you wanna talk privately about it feel free to write me anytime! perhaps we can exchange phone numbers as well... right now I'm taking my step-son to daycare, but will check back in a few hours to see if you wrote, blessings
____@____.com kimberly

First of all, you have my deepest sympathy regarding the death of your son. You have certainly experienced some trials, and I pray that things will begin to look up for you. I had the same difficulty, and my husband didn't show up for court. That didn't stop the divorce as he hoped it would. You do need to contact your attorney. You have options, but you need to let those that know what to do help you. Good luck!

I have worked for several attorneys in several states. I do not know where you reside, but there should be no reason why you can't get the divorce on the basis of adultery since he has been living with another woman or for abandonment. Talk with your attorney about - they should know how to do this. Good luck to you and your child. You two are better off without him and you find someone later on that will fulfill both of your lives.

He is probably not signing anything because he doesn't want to have to pay you alimony or give you anything period.
I would talk to an attorney and ask him what your options are.
Basically that is about all that you can do.

Your faith allows you to have an "affair" after divorce???

What you will have to do is have your attorney or you if you are pro se send a copy of the settlement to his last know address, send it certified, restricted, return receipt requested so that you will have proof of service. He will have to sign for it and only him. Also you will need to publish what's called a warning order in the legal publications of your local paper of circulation, i didn't see if you were from Memphis or West Memphis. He will have 30 days to respond. This will also give you proof of service and if he does not respond to the Warning Order at the clerk's office within 30 days you can proceed to get your divorce. Just make sure that you have your documentation from both to present to the judge. If you have any other questions feel free to contact me. I work for a law firm in West Memphis and we do divorces every day. Good luck

I am so sorry about the loss of your son. Recovery will be a long time coming. About your soon-to-be ex-husband, you are paying an attorney, right? Then let him or her do the job you are paying him or her for. It is not your job to chase this guy down to serve papers on him. Like I said before, that's what you pay the attorney for. They have ways of finding this guy. You have other things in your life that you need to take care of, like your child and your classes and most of all, yourself. If you don't take care of yourself, how can you take care of the other things in your life. Twenty-five years ago, I was in the same place as you but nobody gave me the advice I'm giving you. I'm giving you the wisdom that I got the hard way, I lived it. Bless your heart, my dear C., you need to let the attorney do the job he or she is being paid to do. My daughter is an attorney so I know about how much you are paying for his or her service. If you can't depend on your attorney, you should find a new one. Good luck, Darling.

Hi C.,

Why are you calling him? That's what the attorneys are for. Are you in NC? He must pay spousal support for 12 months until the divorce is final. That may hurry him up a bit. YOU should not be asking him to sign anything. That is the attorney's job and if his is stalling, court proceedings may be necessary - at his expense! You need to play hardball. I can't believe your attorney is letting this go on. There is no chance of reconciliation - get moving! Life is waiting for you. Don't wait. Good luck! L.

do you know where he works send them so that he and only him has to sign for them. and keep the receipt so he cannot say he did not get them. you may have to send them more than once. it might be better if your attorney sends them to him.

I went through a divorce in KY nearly 9 years ago. My ex-husband would not sign anything either. We had to wait 30-45 days to respond after each time he was served with papers before we could move on. He did not contest anything, he just did not co-operate with proceedings. He did not even show up at the final court date. It took about 9 months to become final. I believe he was in contempt every time he did not show up or respond, but the judge went ahead with the divorce because of his lack of responce.
Good luck,

Talk to your attorney. I got a divorce in GA. My ex would not sign anything either. I had to advertise in the newspaper 3 times that i was filing for divorce and that was enough to notify him. He eventually did respond and he actually came to court but fought the divorce himself (to no avail). Good luck.