Hey Moms,
I just want to throw this out and see what others think. I was talking to my husband tonight about possibly signing my two year old up for a mother's day out program. I am just about 4 months prego and I just feel that I have sooooooo much to do and that I have such a hard time getting anything done with a two year old on my heels. But to do the MDO I will have to give up the money that I have monthly to do whatever I want with. My hubby feels that I won't be happy having the baby in MDO and stuck at home with no discretionary income. But I feel like it could be wonderful having the time to clean and prepare for the new baby, and to have time alone with the new baby when he/she gets here. I mean it is not like I can't go out for a coffee or something inexpensive sometimes, and still achieve our financial goals. Anyway, he is all gung ho for me to take a class which is much cheaper or do something with friends(which I just don't really have right now) because he thinks what I really need is socialization and he thinks I am too hard on myself about the housework etc. He thinks if I am just happier overall and get more time away that I will be able to get more done when I am home and be less stressed. I don't think I am stressed, I just hate looking at a messy house all the time. Anyway, if any of you can share how you handled a toddler, a house, a husband and getting your emotional and social needs met, that would be great! I love my life, my husband is great and my son is the bomb.com. I just wish I could do things better sometimes, thanks for the input!
Hey Mamas:)
Thanks so much for the input so far. So I found an MDO that will take him one day a week so it is 1/2 the price, yeah!! That way I will still have some moola for myself and some time to get things done. I think my hubby is like 90% convinced, but he will let me do it regardless:) So now I just have to pray that a spot opens up and I can get my boy in!
Only you can determine just what it's worth to you to do the MDO and have that time. I think that you should go for it. I've never done that, so I don't know what kind fo cycles there are; but it's not a permanent arrangement, is it? You can make a change at some point if you determine that it's not working for you.
Also, you don't sound at all stressed. Press on, Sister!
Tell your husband how much you appreciate his input and then do what you think you need. He is trying to be helpful but you are more of an expert on what you need than he is. Also, what you choose doesn't have to be permanent. Try the MDO for a week or two and see if you like it. If not, try something else. I would recommend meeting other moms in your area that you can trade kids with so you aren't out any money! We always found that two 2 yr olds were easier than one, so one or two days a week i would take one of my neighbors children for 3 or 4 hours and then she would do the same for me. The kids got to play together and we got quality "no kids" time, and it dodn't cost a dime. Good luck!
I have to agree with you. I am in a similar situation (I gave up the extra cash for 2 days of MDO while I still have my youngest with me). It was great for everyone, including my son who got used to the idea of school and is now really happy and ready for kindergarden. You can socialize if you want (have a friend over for coffee or something). You will also get the house under control in no time and really will have extra time for yourself. Now my son is 5 (my oldest is 7 and I did the same with her) and I have my 2 year old and the others will be in school all week. The MDO also prepared me for that. Anyway, it wasn't that expensive for 2 days a week and we all benifited.By the way, you will meet other moms at MDO and will be able to make more friends and socialize. Good luck convincing your hubby.
I agree with your husband. I'm not trying to be mean, but I've been there. Let the housework go. It's not that big of a deal...especially if he's ok with it.
When I was in your boat I and my friends (in same leaky boat) banded together and had a playgroup at each other's houses. The kids knew all the moms (about 5 or 6 of us) and all the other kids so that if they were left at one house or another it wasn't a strange thing. One other mom and I and our kids bonded closest so we often took each other's kids. This kills 2 birds, socialization for you and an outlet for the kids.
My friend who had her kid in MDO found that he was always sick so she stopped sending him.
If you are in Austin and new to the area (less than 2 yrs) you might want to look at Newcomers. They have a group for moms and kids.
And remember, the house will just get dirty again. Try to just do a 30 minute runthrough with hubby after the "bomb" goes to bed.
This too will pass.
K.
Your hubby sounds like a good man and that he truly has your best interest at heart. You're probably stressing about cleaning b/c you feeling a lot of pregnancy anxiety about the baby on the way and everything that you feel you have to get done before. Why not try the class for a little while and then if you're not relaxed and still stressing about the house work then try your plan. For me personally, I have to clean my house in stages when my kids are napping. I only get 1-2 hours a day, so one day I do bathrooms, one day I do laundry, etc. I'm expecting again right now, so I'll be honest and say that some days, I nap when they are and it makes such a difference. =) If your little guy doesn't nap, then you need to start him on quiet time, he doesn't have to sleep, but he has to play quietly in his room. Good luck finding a balance that works for your family.
So, I am gonna go out on a limb...
DO THE MDO!!!
I am a SAHM of 3 children. My hubby is in the military and there are stretches of time where it is just me and the kids.
When my husband is home, I get time away to have an "evening with the girls" go grocery shopping by myself, etc. It's not the same. I can get all the socializing I want, when I want it.
I want time away from my kids to clean my home. I can let things go only so long before it starts driving me crazy that the room I just cleaned is now a mess again because there are children constantly there.
I get things done. I live in a "lived in" style home where there is clutter here and there, and I clean too...but nothing beats being able to just get to it without all of the interruptions and having to re-clean the same place 20 min later, now and again.
In my humble opinion, I would go with the MDO, so you can have the time you want/need to go the library, sit and read, set-up/decorate the new baby's room or just clean the house.
Good Luck... ;-)
Hire a cleaning lady! Look on Craigslist, or post on craigslist, for what you can afford and enjoy both!
