Do I Take My Daughter Out of Kindergarten?

I taught for 12 years, mostly K. I would never ever allow my child to be the youngest in class. Socially, academically, and every other way. Let her start next year. :0)

My daughters birthday is less then 2 weeks before the cut off time. We chose to put her in Kinder and we feel we made the right choice. We knew she might have difficulties so we planned ahead and she did 3 years of pre k before going to elementary. She was prepared. Not only is she one of the youngest in 2nd now she is also one of the smallest in her class. She doesn't mind. She does still present young for grade in some areas but other areas she is excelling.

I have a girl who was in this exact situation, in my pre-k at the moment. Her mom keeps telling me how glad she is that she made the decision to pull her from kinder and do my program. She tells me every day how much she loves my "school" and how it is "so much better than her old school" because her old one was "scary and hard." There are days when I think she could totally be ok in a kinder class but there are other days when I think that it is good that she is getting more time. The way I look at it there is not much that you can lose for giving her that extra year...just get her into a quality pre-k program :)

If it were my child, I can almost guarantee I'd take her out. The older and more ready they are, the better they will do in the long run. She'll likely develop and things will be way easier for her next year! No reason to stress her...I think waiting another year might be a great idea for her. I don't think she'll be harmed by being taken out. She's on the young side, so I think that helps a lot and she'll understand that when she's older:-)

Good luck figuring out what to do!

We kept our daughter end of May birthday and it was the best thing ever she is now in K at almost 6.5 and doing awesome.

My suggestion is take her out if you feel it is needed, put her into preschool so it is not a major shock to her! I think that would be a wise move. Don't make a big deal out of it and she most likely won't think of it as a big deal.

I have 2 kids with late summer birthdays. I put both into kinder but held them back. Best decision I ever made. If your already worried about your daughter and kinder then by all means pull her out or talk with her teacher about backing off the amount of work she does and holding her back to kinder.
Like I said I have NEVER regretted holding my kids back. One is a Jr in college (he did 2 years in 1). I was so glad he was 19 going off to school. The other is a 5th grader and she is doing awesome.

Hi A. - I think I'd discuss it with my daughter and see how she felt about it. I'd also talk with her school and get their input. (Although they may want to hang onto her whether or not it's the best for her because they get funding per each child).

I have a 4 yo daughter in full day pre-K and a 5 yo daughter in kindergarten (She also has a July bday). My 5 yo is VERY mature for her age in many ways. She is loving kindergarten. Our school also has extra help for kindergartners if they need it - I don't know if yours does?

I am inclined to say that taking her out and doing pre-K another year might be a great decision for her - think of it as giving her the gift of time, not holding her back.

What does your daughter think?

Well I know there will probably be people who strongly disagree with me on this one, but I think if it were my daughter, I'd take her out of kindergarten and put her in pre-school for another year.

My oldest son was also a young 5 (with a July birthday) and I felt like he wasn't quite ready yet. When he did start kindergarten, he did really well.

I understand that your situation is a little different since your daughter has already started. I can understand that you would have concerns about her self-esteem, but I think if you just tell her that you now realize that you sent her before she was ready, and that you know she won't get as frustrated next year because she'll be older- I think she'll understand. I think it would be far harder on her to continue to struggle and possibly have to repeat a grade (which is what happpened to my younger brother who had to repeat 2nd grade after having struggled through kindergarten, 1st, and the first year of 2nd despite my mom trying to help him at home and having a tutor over the summer)

I think my philosophy also is why rush things? Once they start kindergarten, they are in school for the next 13 years- and then college. I think it's all far easier on them and better for their self-esteem when they are ready.

Whatever you decide, I know it's a tough decision, best wishes :)

Keep her in Kindergarten. The worst that can happen is she will need to repeat it. Lots of kids have attention span issues even until they complete 1st grade, that's about the age the next stage of development starts.. She will mature a lot this coming year and time will tell if she needs to do it over.

My birthday was in July and back then, everyone started when they were 5 or would be 5 by December 31st. It was considered normal and only those with Sept-Dec birthdays were considered "young". Every child develops differently and the issues your daughter may be having could be as much to do about the social aspect as it is the school work aspect.

I would cut her some slack, be understanding and focus on her strengths. You would be amazed at how quickly she will mature. It's an adjustment. Try to make it fun.

Wow...... that is a tough decision! Not knowing your situation, I have a few questions...

Are you in the position to homeschool? You could take her out of the Kindergarten program and homeschool her this year, helping her learn the skills she may need.

Next year, you could go ahead and put her back in Kindergarten, or on to 1st grade, depending on her maturity.

I sure would hate to frustrate her at this young age and have her dread going to school.

If you can't homeschool, then frankly, you might want to pull her out. Before you do that, though, talk with the counselor, see if the counselor can observe her in school and see how she reacts to the activities in the classroom, also.

Our oldest was an August birthday.. we sent her to Kindergarten when she turned 5. Several years later, we had her repeat 4th grade. I don't know if it would have been better to delay her entry, or not... she was a quiet student, and very smart... she was just very distractable... she is now working on her doctorate at Johns Hopkins.

Daughter #3 was also an August birthday.... her preschool teacher (the same teacher for our other 2 girls) just kept saying "She's so different from Erin and Kay!" ... the first two would sit and do the work... Krissi was much more active and impulsive. We chose to delay her Kindergarten, and I really think that did help. She still struggled with social issues, but it was better overall.

Good luck with your decision... but the best thing would be to talk to the teacher and counselor, and get their input also.

I agree with the other moms but I would like to ask if you've talked with your daughter to see if maybe there is something else going on with her. My daughter also started Kinder this year and her bday is in July as well but she hasn't had any issues that I am aware of. She can get distracted and she sometimes decides she doesn't want to do her work but for the most part, she's ready. But, and I am just speculating, there may be something else going on. Does she feel intimidated by anyone at school? Is she being singled out for not finishing her school work? How tall are the rest of the kids? Is she the shortest one? Sometimes that can seem overwhelming when all the kids are bigger and she's smaller. If there is nothing else going on and she's just not getting it then maybe she can use some outside stimulation to help her understand the work. I know how you feel about not wanting to hold her back or wanting her to be acclimated in this new system but you want to make sure that she stays on track and doesn't fall behind. So if you try everything in your power to help her and she's still not getting it, maybe you will have to put her back in daycare for another year so she can feel more comfortable.

Why not give her the gift of another year of pure childhood -- without the stress.

Especially since this seems like a particularly high pressured class, in that they are already giving homework in the first few weeks of kindergarten -- and she is already struggling with it.

Most private schools have a cut off of June birthdays for kindergarten -- which many studies show give kids a great advantage.

People I know who have tried kindergarten for a year, with the thought that if their child doesn't do well, they'll just repeat it -- have always found that it is too traumatic for their child not to proceed forward with their friends into 1st grade -- and that it creates esteem issues if they are held back at that point .

But to make this decision at the start of kindergarten, before she gets fully integrated , and to put her into a pre-k where the pressure is less intense --seems like a really positive option.

Is there a "pre-kindergarten" or "kindergarten readiness" program that she could do this year instead? Something that bridges the gap between preschool (which I think of as being for 4 year olds turning 5) and kindergarten. Have you discussed this with her teacher? If she stays, she could end up at the end of the year having to repeat kindergarten, but that wouldn't have as much of a stigma as repeating a grade down the road.

Each child is different per their emotional maturity, despite age.

My daughter is born late, and started Kindergarten at 4 turning 5. She was fine. Her Preschool and Kinder teachers said she was fine. I knew she was fine. She is very mature and adapted fine.
There were also about 3/4's of her class, that were her age too in her Kindergarten class.
She is now in 4th grade and is fine, all around: socially and academically.

My son, turned 5 last month. He is in Kindergarten. He is fine. His Preschool teachers said he'd be fine. He is. His Kindergarten Teacher said he is fine. He is. He is adjusting like a champ. He has other classmates, that just turned 5 too. They are fine.

You need to, talk with the Teacher.
And per your child, see what would be best for her.
Or does the school have a Jr. K, class?
that can be an option.

Just do what is best, for your child.

I can give you two examples. My daughter was born Aug 25. We had adopted a daughter the year before, so they could have been in the same grade. We opted to hold our Aug. child out. She had a fear of failure, and we decided she needed another year to mature. She did great and graduated from high school with honors, graduated from an Ivy League university and today is a banker.
Second example. . .my sister's daughter was born Aug 23. She started her on time and kindergarten was fine. But when she started 1st grade, she was not so fine. She worked as hard as she could, but struggled to stay up with the other kids. By mid-term, both teacher and principal recommended having her repeat 1st grade. THAT caused her to believe she was dumb. She wasn't. She made it through only 1 semester of college and now has a job that pays very little.
My advice is to go with your guts. If you feel she's overwhelmed, fearful, and stressed out, take her out and school her at home the rest of this year. You can get kinder curriculum, if you want, but if you do start her to kindergarten again next fall, send her to a different school, a private one if necessary. THEN you can transfer her to 1st grade where she's going now, but even better let her stay in the other school where she can be a regular kid with no history. I begged my sister to hold her daughter out one more year, and she regrets it to this day that she didn't. I learned that success is more about our perception of ourselves and less about how smart we are.

Hi there! I feel your pain! I've been agonizing over this very situation with my daughter. Her bday was Aug. 26. She's in 1st grade now and doing pretty well. We struggled with starting her in K last year, but I knew her teacher very well and she was totally confident that my daughter was ready for 1st grade. She did not want me to hold her back, so I trusted her. So far, she's doing pretty well and actually surprising me at times. She struggles with staying on task and handwriting and is a little slower than the other kids at times, but we continue to encourage her and let her know that it's okay. We work with her a lot at home and sit by her during her homework. She's also in a program at church that requires memorizing scripture and doing daily work (crossword puzzles, fill in the blank, etc.) and it's really helping her with school work and her confidence. While I'm still concerned and don't want to her dislike school, she's showing signs of maturity and she's very bright. I'm going to trust that she's going to "grow" with her school experience and we're going to handle issues as they arise.

For your child, I wouldn't pull her out of Kindergarten - let her experience what "big school" is like and give her constant encouragement. Work with her on everything and spend the summer really working on the skills where she may be struggling. Send her back to Kindergarten next year if things are still fuzzy...or, she just may surprise you! Good luck!

My only suggestion is to follow your gut instinct. It's normally always right in my opinion. We had a HUGE struggle deciding too with our July baby and it's NOT an easy decision. Dh and I were always the older (sep/oct babies) and after much research and my gut (not his, lol) we did decide to wait one more year. Nowadays most kindergartens are more like first grade and I just think there's no harm in waiting (there are always those rare exceptions where the child was bored but I heard that far less than the opposite). I am not sure what I would do in your shoes having had started her. I would talk to her as much as you can and see if she'd be okay going back to preschool or as others mentioned perhaps you can find a montessori one so she will be with older and younger kids and she won't notice. I obviously wouldn't rely on her for your decision but I would take her input into some consideration and go from there. Good luck and so sorry you're having to even think about it. Big hugs!!

I haven't been able to read the previous responses, so bear with me if I repeat a point. Keep in mind that most Valedictorians are born in September (making them the oldest in their class). My daughter's birthday is two weeks after the cut-off date in our district, so she is usually the oldest in her group. I'm glad!!

Is she in a public school? You may want to consider looking into a different type of school- perhaps a Montessori school. Not all children adapt well to the public school environment. It comes with a price, so I am not sure if that's an option for you. You can always transition into public school later.

Like anything else there are kids that thrive and kids that struggle with being the youngest. You have to do what you think is best for your child. Have you looked into a private kindergarten? A lot of montessori schools offer a class that is some what of a combo of both Pre-K and Kinder. A friend of mind did that with her twins who were actually born 2 days after the cut off date. They are very bright and they worried about them being the oldest in the class. The next year they decided to go to Kindergarten but they were told they could start with first grade if they wanted.

My son is 16 now and really struggled through school, ESP those first few years...he us a May birthday and one of the youngest in his class. He has a hard time focussing and the school talked us into putting him on ADD medication. I regret the meds and wish we had held him back a year....he has said that to me for years...mom, why didn't you hold me back a year. I'm a Nov birthday and made straight As...I was one of the oldest in my class...I think that 1/2 year difference really makes a big difference. Good luck in your decision.

Hi A., this sounds like my scenario years ago. My older son was good in school, and ready at a young 5. My next son comes along, and I send him at a young 5 also. He was a mess. I ended up having him repeat first grade twice. He has learning disabilities too, which may not be where your daughter is at, but my advice is, if you are having issues already, you may want to pull her out till she is 6, if that is an option in your area. It may do her well, to have another year to mature, with you helping her along the way.

I think you should talk to her teacher and get their take on it. I know you said you are willing to work with your daughter at home but you really should be more than willing you should already be doing it. Read with her, help her with letters, get sight word flash cards, get some learning tools that will help at home. My son is actually younger than your daughter, August 21st, and also in Kindergarten. I to struggle with if it was a good idea, just stay in communication with the teacher and see what happens. Worst that could happen would be to keep her in Kindergarten again next year.