Do You Co-sleep with You Children?

I co-slept with my daughter for most of her first two years, and we both loved it. I think we both got more and better sleep. Those were the days before all the warnings about SIDS. But there is quite a bit of evidence that co-sleeping is actually safer for most babies NOT in high-risk categories than sleeping alone in another room.

Weaning her to her own bed was no problem at all for us. Even after we did that successfully, she would still share my bed occasionally. Sweet times.

Right now in my bed is a 7 yr. old and any minute I expect to see a half asleep 4 year old wandering in to my bedroom looking for papa. I see no harm in it.

YES!!! My daughter is now 5 y/o and I bed-shared since her birth. I was a single Mom for 2 years and moved in with my boyfriend just after she turned 2. I refused to boot her out of my bed and some nights he slept in a bed in another room. We got married just after she turned 5, and we still have the family bed - now he always sleeps with us and always complains about her still in bed with us. I told him my child will always come first, and if he couldn't understand, then he may have to move on - - of course I said this in the BEGINNING of the relationship, not after getting married after a 3 year dating relationship.

A few months ago, she let us know she's ready for her own room and bed. We were so happy and supportive of her decision and made it into a very big deal. She's always been independent and outgoing, but knowing she could relax, recharge, bond and share love and safety with me at night when they day ended really made her more confident in herself.

I am now 3 months pregnant with #2 and plan on child led weaning/breastfeeding as well as bed sharing with this one too.

Clearly, there is no right answer to this question at all. There is only a "right for you" answer to this question. And sadly, only you can answer it.

The one thing that I will say is that don't worry about setting up a pattern. Being the parent is frankly better than being the kid because you are allowed to change the rules. So if co-sleeping is working for you now, then co-sleep. As soon as it doesn't work, you get to change the rules! So while the change might not be great, you can do pretty much anything until you don't want to do it anymore. There's a lot of things that suck about being a parent, but do allow yourself to take advantage of this cool thing, because it enables you to enjoy the moment a lot more because you don't worry as much about what each little thing means for the future.

So for now, enjoy the snuggling, it seems : )

Love what Jane said...

My dtr, now four and I co-sleep and I knew I would from the day she was born. No plans to move her until she is ready.

That said, if I had a different child, I may do things differently. You never know how the second will be after a couple more months.

My BF "sleep trained" her first and thought that was the way to go w/ #2. #2 was having none of it. You do get to make the rules depending on the nature of the child and situation: )

Jen

yes, both my kids were and are. If my husband is out of town (which 26 days out of the month he is) then my oldest sleeps with me also) My 2 year old is always with me. This is how i want it. I co sleep and extend breastfeeding. often i have to defend my choice but the relationship that i have with my children is argument enough for its purpose. I encourage sleeping in their own bed by age three, but many sleepovers in my room are possible, and welcomed.

Nope. We didn't. Both of ours came home from the hospital and went straight into a crib in their own room/nursery. There they stayed. We never co-slept with either. I nursed them both and I went to the nursery and sat in a rocker to do so. They were sleeping through the night (6 hours or more) by 3 months or less. Both of them.

After that... well... why would I suddenly start letting them come get in bed with us? On the rare occasion that one would wake and come to the side of my bed, I would usually just walk them back to their own room, tuck them into bed and occasionally stand beside their bed for a few minutes. Once you start letting them get into your bed, they won't want to stop doing so. It becomes a difficult habit to break. So we just never started it to begin with.
Our kids are fantastic sleepers and always have been.

But if it works for you, who's to say that what you are doing isn't right for your family? It wouldn't have worked for mine, but I'm not you. Right?

But if you aren't comfortable with it (even though you might have been comfortable with it with your firstborn), then try something else. There is no rule that says that what you do with one must be done the same with subsequent children. Often times, we find that we made lots of mistakes with the first one, lol. (not saying what you were doing before was a mistake lol). The 2nd one and later children, give us an opportunity to use what we learned with the first one to improve our parenting.

Enjoy!

My first was sleeping with me in the hospital and has ever since (she's 4.5 now). We did start putting her to sleep in her own bed around 2, but she always ends up in our bed again by 1am or so.

My second (almost 3) slept in the bassinet beside my bed for the first 8 months or so because I was a little worried about having such a tiny infant in bed with a toddler. At 8 months she started sleeping with us too. About 3 months before she turned 2 we started putting her to bed in her own bed. She also ends up in our bed, usually by around 11pm.

My third is 2 months old and sleeps in the bassinet beside my bed because I don't want her in bed with her sisters and, even though we have a king-size bed, there's no room for her!

I have a love/hate relationship with co-sleeping. I love it because I know my kids are comfy, warm and safe all night. I actually sleep better when they're sleeping well. I hate it when they're having restless nights and kick and punch me in their sleep :) My thinking is that they're not going to want to sleep with me forever and it's not doing anyone any harm (except the occasional bruise for me or my husband from little elbows and knees!). My oldest has actually told me that she's 'not ready yet' to sleep all alone - and that's ok with me. She will when she's ready.

Oh, and when mine were babies I had them cuddled right in the crook of my arm all night...breathing that sweet baby smell :)

My daughter was in the cosleeper next to us for three months. Once she slept thru the night it was off to her room. Now, we have a son, he is three months old and still not sleeping thru the night so he is still in the cosleeper. There are times when I nurse him and fall asleep and he stays with me but I usually move him back. We also have a Sleep Sheep that plays heartbeats, rain, ocean, and whale noises. It really seems to help. Also have you tried one of the baby swaddlers, not a blanket but the ones they make. Just some suggestions good luck!

I co-slept w/ my daughter from birth - 3yrs old. And she still occasionally crawls in with me (she's 5 now). I worked third shift and dd was a terrible sleeper. I was up all day w/ her and only getting sleep during her short naps and then up all night working. By the weekend, I took what I could get. If it meant co-sleeping w/ dd and nursing while I slept, I did it. I tried using a co-sleeper that attached to the bed, but if she wasn't in bed w/ me, she wasn't happy and not sleeping. Even after getting on first shift when she was 16 months old, I still co-slept cause it's the only way we could sleep.

If you're comfortable co-sleeping w/ your baby and your baby is happy there, then I don't see a problem w/ it. Most "co-sleeping" deaths are not co-sleeping deaths. They usually occur w/ drugs and alcohol.

I didwith my oldest till about 5 and had to kick him out of our bed he kicked to much. my youngest still does but he generally gets up in middle of the night and goes and lays down with his big brother who is 21 and eats it up. and even when brother is not home he goes and lays in brothers bed in middle of the night I guess he likes his mattress.he may also fall asleep on the sofa and if I leave him he will still wonderin to his brothers bed at some point in the night. when can be as late as 7am. I think its good for them actually jmo

My daughter slept with us for the first 6 weeks. Then she was in her own room. Starting in December of this year (at 22 months) we think she has started having nightmares so she will start out in her bed and then wake up between 1am-4am screaming and we let her come in and sleep with us. You are never going to get a right or wrong answer on co-sleeping. Some countries/cultures co-sleep for ages, others are totally against it no exceptions.
If you are not comfortable with it, I don't think it's a good idea. Why doesn't she go into the bassinet that you have? She doesn't like it? or you fall asleep before putting her back in?
I moved my daughter to her own room when she was tiny, because I was afraid of rolling onto her, and I was so paranoid that she would sufficate that we were not sleeping with blankets and I couldn't take it anymore. Now that she is older I don't worry about those things, if fact she is the one rolling on top of us.

My first two no, but this last one.....yep. I don't prefer it, I have a hard time sleeping with him in our bed, but he wakes up in the middle of the night and the ONLY way he goes back to sleep is if I lay him with me.
i personally feel that co-sleeping causes problems later down the road. I dont find any reason for a 2,3,4 year old etc to be sleeping in my bed. It just turns into a struggle getting them into their own bed and having privacy and intamacy with my husband. I plan to keep working on getting my baby to remain in his own bed. But I totally get that sometimes you do what it takes to get sleep!

I swore I would never co-sleep. But when you are a new mom and super tired some things get thrown right out the window. I didn't start to co-sleep with my daughter until she was about 4 months old. Once she was able to get out of the swaddling blanket she wouldn't sleep well anymore. She would start the night in her crib but almost always end up in our bed. This lasted until after her first birthday when she magically just started sleeping all night in her own bed. My son was a terrible sleeper and hated co-sleeping. I was sad because it was such an easy solution for my daughter but with him we just went through 10-11 months of rotten nights until he slept all night.

So do what works for you as long as you are doing it safely for your baby then sleep how you need to so you can all sleep.

We did not co-sleep. We kept our baby in a pack-n-play in our room until she was about 7 months old then we moved her to her room in a crib. This has worked well for us. Good luck.

Well I kinda do both. In the beginning I feel that with nursing it is easiest to let my babies sleep with me. usually for the first couple months they are in a bassinet in my room. If i am awake when they are done nursing I put them back in the bassinet but if I fall asleep while she is nursing then yeah my baby will stay in bed with me. Once they get older and don't nurse as much I will start putting them in their crib in their own room and once they are done nursing at night all together then they are in their crib or bed every night. I personally feel that me and my husband need to keep a strong bond and still have adult, alone time without having kids in our bed. I love my kids to death but I feel that it is good for them to sleep in their own beds and then me and my hubby can sleep together. So with your baby being only 2 months I think that is normal to have her in your bed but once she isn't eating at night I would put her in her crib so she doesn't develop a bad habit.

Nope. Bedtime for me is always "me" or "our" time. That's just me (us).

I napped with my baby until I went back to work, and sometimes aftewards until she didnt want to anymore. nowadays (she just turned 4) she'll pop into my bedroom on the weekends and we'll sleep in together, but otherwise it's each to their own beds.

I didnt want to encourage co-sleeping because of my little brother, who just turned 13 and still has a hard time sleeping in his own bed, mom will often find him on her bedroom floor in a little nest of his blankets in the morning. He was about 7 before she could even get him to start the night in his own room.

NO, I just felt Mommy and Daddy should have a marriage bed.

No. Our daughter slept in our room next to our bed for about 5 months then she became too loud while sleeping for us. Then she went to her own room in the crib. Co-sleeping was not for us. I also breastfed well past a year but not in my bed. We were not comfortable with having a baby in the bed with us. She's an amazing sleeper and at 2y rarely wakes up during the night and loves her crib. My sister co-slept with her last child and I believe at 10 the child was still sleeping with her. Co-sleeping works for some people but I think 10 is a bit long.

We tried it with both kids and it was a nightmare each time. Do whatever works for you!

Yup, I sure do. It started off because I breastfed but then my husband's snorning kept getting worse and worse. I moved him into my son's room and brand new "big boy" bed that he has yet to sleep in. He's almost four years old and we're now talking about him sleeping in his own bed.

My husband had surgery last month and now the snoring is almost gone. Maybe ten more pounds and he'll be welcomed back to bed and we won't have to have the fan on all night long.

NO! Mommy and Daddy's bed is just that - Mommy and Daddy's bed. The only times our son has been allowed to sleep with us (he's 2 1/2 yrs old) is when he's been sick. We do have a "rule" that if he wakes up and its after 5AM, we just pull him into our bed, but if its before that, we put him back into his bed.

NO not with any 3 of my children we have taught them to fall asleep in their own beds/bedrooms.I also nursed them but I laid them back into their cribs after.I was to cautious on SIDS,we didn't get any sleep if they were in bed with us I let them lay with us for a while then they went into their own beds