Do You Have a Problem with a 10 Year Old Shaving Her Legs?

Updated on May 05, 2011
B.C. asks from Arlington, TX
20 answers

Ok, my hubby and I are at odds with this one. My 10 year old expressed interest in shaving her legs because her leg hair makes her uncomfortable (looks-wise). I started shaving my legs when I was 11 so I just told her to shave it off if she wants to. I told her I'd buy her a razor, etc. No biggie to me. Didn't think that hubby would have an issue with it. Well..... he does. He thinks she's too young. She's not interested in boys, is a total tomboy in most regards, she just hates her leg hair. What do you think? Is he right or I am I? I guess I should have discussed it with him first, but I really didn't think he'd give a care.

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So What Happened?

Thanks ladies! He posted about this on facebook at the same time that I posted this post. So funny! Ok. so on the average, we're good. I just casually mentioned it to him and he flipped out. He's ok now. Not happy, but more comfortable. It's quite adorable. He's such a good daddy and not only do we have the 10 year old to deal with, but another girl who is 3 to contend with when the time comes, lol. The girl is getting a nice razor. :)

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B..

answers from Dallas on

Actually, it's been proven that hair does NOT in fact grow back thicker and stronger. It seems like it when it first comes through the skin, because the tip of the follicle is strong.

Anyway, she should do it if it's bothering her. She's not asking to wear make-up, or inappropriate clothing. She's also not asking, because she has a desire to seem older.

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R.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

I remember really wanting to shave my underarms and legs, but my mom thought I was too young. I developed very early. I think I shaved my legs when I was 10 without asking...not as a rebellious thing, just circumstantial. I was at a friends, and it was the first hot day - she shaved her legs, so I did too. My mom was bummed that she couldn't share that with me.

I'd say talk with him about it a little more - I don't think men really understand this topic. For guys, shaving the face isn't a neccessity because it kind of doesn't matter if the face is hairy or not - and they hit puberty later, generally. Help him understand it isn't about her feeling sexy or anything like that, it's just that she's embarrassed by it. My thought is that making a huge deal out of it will make her even more upset about something that really isn't that big a deal.

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E.P.

answers from New York on

My daughter matured early so by about 8 or 8 1/2 I was shaving her legs for her. We are VERY conservative in many respects including dressing appropriately and not provocatively. My feeling is that if your daughter is saying she's uncomfortable with how her legs look, it's time to start shaving. My daughter started shaving by herself when she was about 9. I bought her a very inexpensive battery opperated razor and that worked fine for a while. She's now 11 and she shaves herself in the shower. Honestly, my husband is very involved in every aspect of my daughter's life and I don't think he had an opinion on the shaving thing.

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M.R.

answers from Phoenix on

First off, you don't mention how physically mature she is??? Has she started puberty?

I understand your husband being protective of his little girl - but this decision is totally not his to make. I think you did the right thing as a mom and responded with respect to her request....

So no, I don't think 10 is to young, especially given the fact that you live in a warm climate and her legs are exposed and she's noticing....Dad telling her no will make her notice even more.

Will he be choosing other feminine hygiene articles and giving advice on how and when to use them? Bras, thong underwear, tampons vs. pads, deodorant types, acne cleansers???? This is just the start of his little girl growing up.

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L.D.

answers from Las Vegas on

I'm surprised that he would have an opinion about it. I generally think that when it comes to certain issues like male and female grooming, those are things that the same sex parent (mom/daughter, dad/son) should take the lead on because those are the areas where you have the most knowledge and personal experience.

If your daughter's leg hair is noticeable and you feel that she is capable of using a razor comfortably, then there's really no reason why she shouldn't go ahead and start shaving. I think I was probably about the same age when I started shaving. Let's face it, puberty isn't really that far off for her. Maybe a couple more years but maybe it will happen sooner rather than later so, if she is having leg hair issues, maybe this is the time to let her start shaving. Can't keep her a little girl when she is on her way to becoming a teen.

I wonder what he thinks will happen once she starts shaving? Maybe it's just the matter that he's clueless about what goes on with typical female development and basic grooming habits? Or perhaps he's uncomfortable with the thought that she may not be his little girl that much longer.

Hope this helps.

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N.G.

answers from Dallas on

Umm, sorry but Momma trumps Daddy on this one. Daddys don't know what it's like to have leg hair and hate it!!!

By the time I was ten, my leg hair was long, dark, and thick. It was horrible. But I had the opposite problem. My Mom was hell-bent on me waiting until I was twelve to shave my legs. Ridiculous! My Dad took a look at my legs one day and marched right to my Mom and said it was downright cruel of her to make me endure that just to adhere to some stupid rule. Sure enough, I shaved my legs that day. Go Dad!

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K.U.

answers from Detroit on

If it is making her feel self-conscious and you think she could handle shaving with a razor safely, I would let her do it. Or consider an electric razor or product like Nair. I don't think this is one of those things that they should be a certain age to do, but rather that they are getting the leg hair and don't like it and want to do something about it. Your daughter just needs to understand that once she starts shaving, she'll have to do it all the time to keep up. I don't think you did anything wrong by not talking with hubby first - if it were me, I would have mentioned it but I think because this is a "girl thing" the decision and guidance really needs to be between you and her. Maybe he just doesn't realize how early some girls start hitting puberty these days or understands how she feels or just he just doesn't want his little girl to grow up just yet. Maybe you could talk to him more about why he thinks she's too young and help him to understand that every situation is different, and that more and more girls now are dealing with these issues at earlier ages.

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J.L.

answers from San Diego on

Hi Betany I don't think this is a question of right and wrong, dads are very protective of their daughters, and now days kids are growing up way to fast. As for my daughter she was 12 the first time she shaved her legs, she just did it, I noticed one say when she was putting lotion on her legs, I asked her did you shave your legs, she said yes and she's 22 and has been doing it ever sence, to me that was a mother daughter issue and it never came up with her dad. As a mother of a daughter 10 is a little young, and once you start, you have to keep it up. My mom made me wait till Junior High. J.

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T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

My daughter is almost 12 and clueless about these things.
Noticed the hairs (very thick!) on the way home from school today, didn't say anything (she has enough to deal with right now) but if SHE did say something I would just show her how to shave and be done with it.
No big deal, honestly, my mother taught me NOTHING, and I didn't care much about boys at her age but I did hate my hairy legs :) If she is close to her daddy then things will probably be fine. Don't make it an issue...and it won't be :)

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M.L.

answers from Houston on

Let her do it... but show her how to do it! I took a massive chunk out of my ankle when I first started shaving! I agree with the circumstantial aspect, some things you can't put an age of readiness on.

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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

It's her body - if and when to shave should be her decision.

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J.J.

answers from Toledo on

I struggled with this for about a year with my daughter. She was showing interest in it right around her 9th birthday (11/09). I pushed it off, and she started asking again over the summer. I just kept pushing it off, mostly because she wasn't over-the-top insistant on it, so I thought it was a fad that she'd get over if I just let it go. The day before the first day of school, she decided she was going to wear a skirt to school and begged to shave her legs. I asked why and she pointed out the thick white hair against her very tan legs and how she felt like a "blonde gorilla" lol. I let her. She had a good point. I did the first leg for her and showed her how to do it. Then I watched as she did the next one. For the first month or so, she shaved about 4 times a week. It slowly tapered off and I think she's gone as long as 6 week sor so between shavings on average since the first of this year. That will likely pick up as the weather gets warmer again. I did explain to her that if she shaves them, they will just get stubbly and pokey in a day or two and that she'd have to do it again if she wanted them to stay soft and smoothe. It was sort of a fad that she did sort of get over, but now that she's allowed to do it, it doesn't seem like a priority for her, and I could care less if she does it regularly.

J.J.

answers from Los Angeles on

I didnt like it, but my kids shaved young too, and used my razor until I caught on. I think it encourages more hair growth, but we all do it. Maybe limit how often, like once a week, (thats likely enough anyways) and he'll feel better? And only the lower leg, prickly thighs is no fun & it will get coarser. eventually.

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D.N.

answers from Chicago on

Daddy's little girl is growing up and he does not like it. Sometimes my girls do other things that are totally normal for their age and he asks me why they are doing it. My girls are 12 and one of them has darker hair on her legs and she hates it. This one he did not balk at but other things, oh yeah.

K.D.

answers from Sacramento on

My mom let my sister and me start shaving once we gotour first period. I think thats a great signal to start doing more "womanly" things, since thats when you start turing into a young woman.

F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

I have a tomboy who is 11 and wanted to start shaving a few months ago. I told her she could but to remember that once she starts, it grows back thicker and faster so she has to keep up with it. I didn't feel comfortable with her using a regular razor so i bought her an electric which she uses mostly on her underarms and occasionally on her legs. she's blond so no big deal. so i think its ok as long as you explain it to her. good luck.

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

I think there are few places on the planet that are as obsessed with hair removal as we are.

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

My daughter was shaving her legs by 10.

The thing is.... if it make her self conscious, it is time to do it. You need to do all you can to keep her self confidence because there are plenty of things out of your control that can make her lose self confidence.

If it bothers her... do it. Hubby needs to lighten up. How would he feel if he were not allowed do something that made him look/feel better?

It is tough but we have to let go and let them grow up!! I know, it happens TOO fast..

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

I would talk to him. I started shaving around 11 and I desperately wanted a bra before I had anything to put in it because we had to change gym clothes and I didn't want an undershirt anymore. My DH thought 10 or 11 was too young for a bra but I took him aside and explained a girl's POV and why I agreed with his ex that it was time for SD to own a bra or two. He calmed down after that.

This isn't about a boy. I think especially with shorts season here it's understandable that your daughter would want to shave and at least she's asking vs finding your razors and cutting the heck out of her legs.

I'm glad you resolved it, but I think he's having a hard time realizing his baby girl is growing up. :)

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

I was shaving by age 10. (started in secret a year prior). Total tomboy... which fed into it. Sports and I'm the girl with hairy legs??? (And I'm soooo not blonde). Bring on the lezzer jokes. Shaving my legs not only let me feel comfy with myself, it took sex out of the equation.

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