Do Your Kids Open Gifts at Home Bday Party?

I have always had my kids open their presents at their party. I don't like it when I go to a party and don't get to see them open it and their response to it. No the kid does not always like it and yes sometimes the kid has it already. That's why there are gift receipts. People understand they may have gotten something that they already have or even a duplicate of someone else's gift. Not a big deal. I agree with the other mom that says it teaches them life skills. They will learn not to say they already have it the older they get. It also lets them tell the person thank you in person and not have to do thank you cards or anything like that!

I'm a big believer in opening gifts at the party. People want to see the recipient's reaction when the gift is opened. I think it's just polite to open them at the party. Somehow bagging them up still wrapped to take home just seems greedy.

My opinion, it is rude to not open the gifts. The giver is excited to see the child open the present. It is part of the fun of giving.

It helps your child learn manners and contributes to helping other kids learn the satisfaction of giving.

At 3 you should be able to talk to your daughter about proper manners regarding receiving gifts. It is a learning process - tell your daughter what not to say and what to say.

My kids were taught graciousness at a very early age. You teach your child how to say thank you, and how to receive a gift.

If the child does not say thank you - they should be harrassed to say Thank you - how else will they learn manners and gratitute?

I really think it is bad manners not to open the gift in front of the giver, unless the giver tells you to open it later!

Yes, but it may be the last year for a while. The other kids got a little overexcited and it may be better for us to hold off til later. DD does love to watch people open her gifts to them, though, so she asked if a friend would open the gift before we left and the mom said it was OK.

If your DD forgets Thank You, thank the friend yourself. If your DD says I have one you can say, "Oh, good, now you have one to play with at home or in the car." I once got my SD the same Barbie she got from someone else and she said, "Oh, good! Now my cousins and I won't fight over her."

Yes, my kids always open their gifts in front of family/friends. There have been the occasional instances where they say they already have it. But I quickly recover or the gift giver states there is a return receipt. To which we use and I let the gift giver know what we exchanged it for. And now that they are older I'm teaching them how to be grateful no matter how they feel...and they sure do a good job. :) Oh and if anything, I make my kids say thank you at the end. I've even had them go around the room and give hugs. (Not always but sometimes)

I am not one to purchase gifts for people lightly, especially family members. So I truly try to seek out gifts that I think the child/gift receiver will be into. I enjoy seeing their faces as they open it. I imagine your mom and MIL feel the same.

Yes, my kids did open their gifts at birthday parties. We didn't have mixed parties of friends and family except for one year old birthdays. How I did the gifts was that the birthday kid would get a chair next to them. With each present, the giver got to sit with the birthday kid while they opened, and got their picture taken together. I'd put a copy of this picture in the thank you notes. I felt opening the gifts taught important manners and people do like to watch you open what they gave you. However, if you don't wish to, the grandparents can stay after the party and watch the presents being opened after the rest of the party guests have left

The children want to see what the child received. It's fun for them. Plus they all want to play with whatever was received. I would suggest explaining to your child before the party that the guests may bring presents, that she should say, "Thank you," when receiving and opening the present because that person is happy for her and was so kind to bring a present, and then tell her that everyone will probably want to play with the presents with her because they are friends.

If the party is at home we open gifts. If we are at a party place like Chuck e cheese then we open when we get home because the kids have only so much time to play. If you are in a private setting like home then I think it is a good idea to open the presents at the party. This is a good time to teach manners. Like my Grandmother always told me "no one has to give you anything so when they do the least you could do is say thank you." I prepare my daughter ahead of time to thank everyone and if she already has it not to tell them and I will replace it later.

Yes, they should open in front of the guests. Otherwise, it's as if the gift if the price of admission to the party. This is when you start teaching your child to say thank you, and you model the oooh-aaaah she will eventually be expected to master. "Oh, Susie, that dress will look so pretty on you!" "Oh, won't that gift go great with your collection of _____" and so on. You prep her before, and you help her through it, and YOU be sure to tell the giver that she just loves that category of gift, or she already has part of the set and this will complete it, etc. Meantime, the other kids learn how much their gift if appreciated. If she says "I have this already" then your answer is, "Wow, Auntie Shelley really knows what you like" or "Oh great, now you have a brand new one and a spare. How nice of Auntie Shelley to think of you." You just model the behavior you want her to have.

And this is a big reason you have to keep birthday parties normal in size. It is absolutely NO FUN for 20 invited kids so sit there for an hour, doing nothing, while your daughter opens endless gifts. Later on, it will be a hardship for your daughter to write 20 thank you notes too! There's also a much greater chance of duplication and of comparison. So keep the parties to very special friends and not the entire class at school! Moreover, if you invite 20 kids, it will be hugely expensive on that day AND you will spend your year going to 20 parties for people who feel they need to invite you. So that's an average of a party ever other weekend, with a $20 gift for each one. Think ahead and plan your life accordingly!

They open in front of family. Usually with the help of their cousins. My kids know to say thank you and not say anything negative if they do not like it or already have it. My kids are 5 & 8.

Either way is fine! She is only 3, so if her manners slack a bit from excitement, you quickly correct her and continue on. Most, if not all, will understand. As for the other kids, I think it is a great idea to have something for them to do if they do not want to sit for 30 minutes while the gifts get open. Cake and some coloring sheets can keep them entertained if they do not want to watch and are getting bored.

When I was growing up, opening gifts was a part of the party. We continued that practice with our children. The gift isn't a ticket in the door to the party that is handed over and not seen again before leaving.

It also helps instill in the recipient and the giver good life skills and manners. The children giving learn to appreciate the joy of someone liking what they were given, and the pride in being giving. And how to graciously say "you're welcome". The recipient learns how to be a gracious receiver, (whether she has it already or not), and has an opportunity to thank the person right then and there.

To be proper, choose one:

A) your child opens the gift and thanks the giver in person at the party, or
B) your child sits and writes thank-you notes to everyone the next day.

The bigger issue I see with what it sounds like you have planned, is that you have a joint "friends/family" party for a 3 year old, with too many friends.

At 3, having 12 kids is just overwhelming. I always heard that the appropriate number was the age of your kid plus one, so in your case, 4 kid guests. Not 12. When my son turned 5, he had 9 kids in his entire preschool class (K4 class), so we of course invited them all. 7 plus an older sibling came. It was about right.

And of course your daughter's grandparents want to see her open their gifts! But that should probably be reserved for a family gathering, not the one with all the playmate/kids there.

We have a big family so usually we have a post-party with the grandparents (there are 5 grandmothers and 2 grandfathers) so they all come over the next day to watch my LO (now 4) open presents and we just use the food left over from the party. Its nice because the kids are so busy at the party that the grandparents dont get to enjoy them too much and it uses up the food that a few days later no one in my house will want to eat any more!

This past year we couldnt do the post-party because my whole side had a bridal shower that day so we waited until the very end when party guests had thinned out substantially to open the presents so the grandparents, god parents and some lingering aunts and uncles could watch. I dont recommend it, its a freaking zoo and I have no idea who gave what!!

The calm after the storm is so much nicer!

Well you will find a whole range of "norms". For my DS 3rd birthday this past July I had him open gifts after. He gets really overwhelmed so opening one gift that day was just fine and then we put them away for him to open up throughout a two week span. I have been at birthday parties where people open gifts and that is fine to. It really depends on your kid. I just knew that my DS would get overwhelmed and then want to play with all his new gifts and not really enjoy the rest of the party with everyone else. I had him open his grandparents gifts before the other kids came over as they wanted to be there to see his reaction.

My kids are just 13 days apart with their birthdays so we would always have a combined family party at home - they always opened their gifts in front of everyone. Never had any problems and everyone always loved seeing the faces as the gifts were opened.

If it is a party consisting of friends, then I would say it's not necessary. Especially if the party is not in your home.

As for her comments, I wouldn't worry about it. I always tried to tell my kids to just accept their gifts graciously and we'd iron out any problems later but it didn't always go perfectly.

Good luck!!

We do open gifts at the party. Both my kids are 4 and 2 open and get excited over all the gifts. If and when they say rude things we correct the rude behavior.

FYI I no longer buy gifts for our young cousins. They are always annoyed it wasnt the latest and greatest and arent thanful at all over the years. I think the lesson is more about manners than anything. I understand at three a child might say she dosent like something or already has it. No big deal take it back. We have received the same gift at the same party before. No big deal just take one of them back. Say something up beat and nice like " great minds think a like. or I bet she will LOVE these". I dont care if its a stick of gum teaching your child to be greatful that someone thought of them and to be happy with what they get is best for there development. I understand at three when they are just learning social skills of life but if at 8 she is still being rude like that....she would be on the naughty list. same for my kids.

At the party! It is fun for the birthday child and the children watching. Teaches social graces of saying "Thank You" even if the birthday child isn't particularly excited for the gift.

Miss Manners says the giver has no right to see the receiver open the gift, that's what the thank you card is for.
I have been to both types of parties. The first time I went to one where they don't open, I was a little miffed, I felt like your mother and MIL, though it wasn't family. Then the thank you card came and it was so nice to see a young child articulate what he liked about the gift after having had some time to use it.
But these are her grandmothers. Let her open theirs first and then follow your daughter's lead about the other gifts, or keep the other gifts out of sight until after the party-have the guests put them in a hidden place like your bedroom.

We usually do open gifts with our friends. In my experiences, kids often WANT to see their friends open their gift. We practice throughout the week how to say thank you and what to say even if you have a present already. I haven't really found myself pestering my kids, they "get it" rather quickly. And at the end of every party our kids thank their friends for coming and sharing the day.

Family presents are usually opened ON the actual birthday or in private after the party.

We also save the cards for bedtime stories. We explain to our friends that we read them then instead of a book. My kids really appreciate and enjoy the cards when it's not in the chaos of a party setting.

We used to open the gifts at the party, but have moved away from that. We haven't had a party at home for a few years either, and time is limited at other venues. The kids really appreciate having more time to play. It always felt sort of awkward opening the gifts in front of the group too. The boys thank their guests for the gift when they leave, and again when they see them next.

Although we grew up opening gifts at parties, we haven't had DS do so as yet. He's two. The parties are already overwhelming enough for him. Might change my mind in a few years time.

Good luck to you and yours,
F. B.

In home, I have my kids (and I see others) open the gifts in front of everyone. Some places, it is a toss up - like Chuck E. Cheese, we don't - Pump it up, it is part of the party where the kid sits in a big blow up throne, etc.

So it is a toss up. I'd recommend you do what works for your family and the time available to you:)