Does It Get Better with a New Dog?

My Daisy had horrible separation anxiety until she was 2 or 3. I couldn't even take her to the gas station b/c she would freak out when I got out of the car to pump gas, even though she could see me the entire time.
I couldn't leave her inside. I bought a large outdoor kennel/dog run (and my husband built a roof for it so she was always covered from the elements, be it too much sun or rain) and she would "kennel up" when I would leave the house. I gave her kongs and plenty of water b/c the stress would make her very thirsty. She eventually got used to me leaving for work, but it took a long time. She now just stays home on the porch (we live on 9 acres and she never leaves the property). I still can't leave her in the house though, b/c she would literally chew through a door if I did. I think she feels more empowered to be outside, in her element. She loves it outside and watches over the house, the cats and chickens while we are gone.

Two weeks isn't long enough to know yet if the meds will help. These types of meds can take three weeks or more to get into their system and have an effect. I had a dog who developed anxiety in her senior years. It's very common in dogs, even ones who aren't puppy mill rescues. It sounds like your vet is helping, but a trainer/behavorial specialist might be a good idea. There are training tactics to try to desensitize them. There are also natural remedies to try although they didn't really help our dog. There are scents that are supposed to be calming and supplements such as valerian (spelling?) and melatonin. Only give those under the consult of a vet though because the dosages in dogs are very different than the dosages for people. Dogs metabolize them differently.

Yes, I've had a dog who drove me insane and people wondered why we put up with her. (I could tell stories for hours.) It was the one who developed anxiety later in life. She had a multitude of health problems beginning in her youth. Many people would have put her down early on. Her problems, although inconvenient and very expensive, were treatable (until the very end) and we didn't want to send a message to our kids that we we euthanized the dog for our convenience. She made it to 15 1/2, although I probably should've taken her in earlier. The last year was especially difficult, although she always had a vigorous appetite and loved to take walks until she no longer could.

Good luck!

I warn you in advance that this answer is a very long one.

Years ago, when my children were young, a one-year-old (or so) dog showed up in our front yard - out of nowhere, it seemed - and he just stayed. For years. The children took to him right away, of course. He had a collar and tag, and after several tries we got hold of the owner, who said, "Um... that sounds like my dog. I'll come over and get him" - and never came. By that time we were glad of it, because it seemed that his puppyhood had not been happy. Buster was big (I had never had a big dog before), and he was sweet, and he was troubled. When he wanted petting he would come to you - crawling on his belly. He had major problems learning where to toilet! He had trouble sleeping at night, but when I would let him out at midnight, he wouldn't come right back inside; he would curl up and sleep in the yard - even with a foot of snow on the ground. Does that tell you something?

The most difficult part, probably, was that he could not be left alone. Separation anxiety? Even in a different room for five minutes, there was separation anxiety. The children lost some stuffed animals. There was a nibbled-away place on the arm of the good sofa. My son's school project - a papier-mache eagle - was *eaten* when Buster was left alone and thought he'd been deserted. (My son made a new, improved eagle in record time, which turned out to be good for him.) We knew it was a knee-jerk reaction, not planned and definitely not malicious, but it was frustrating.

My husband said to get rid of Buster because he was so much trouble. And a woman agreed to take him. Buster looked back at us out the back window as the car drove away. He lasted there a weekend. The woman called and said, "He's digging under the fence and jumping over the fence, and going to the bathroom everywhere. Will you come get him?" When we picked him up he was so happy to see us it broke our hearts. Immediately we were in it for the long haul. And immediately Buster started going to the bathroom in the right place. (And eventually my husband got to like him.)

We taught him how to walk on a leash, though he dashed off without it if he could. We taught him some basic manners. At home, we checked on him and made sure he knew where we were. When I could afford it, I took him to basic obedience classes. We had to do two rounds of it before he even got the idea that he was supposed to listen to us. But after he caught on, he did better.

I never could get him to the point where I could leave him alone in the house. So he was put in charge of the back yard whenever we were gone. He had water, food, blankets, and appropriate toys. He bossed the squirrels around and played with anything that suited him, including the plants. Once, a few years later, when the temps were below zero, I thought maybe he had outgrown his anxiety and decided to leave him in the kitchen (what could he destroy there?), with expandable baby gates - the stretchy ones with the rather big openings - across the doorways. When I got home, I noticed that he had stuck his cute big muzzle through the gate openings and nibbled on the dining room rug.

So, in a definite way, we had to adapt to him; but he also adapted to us. He became more confident and easier to live with. His temperament was always so lovely that we were really glad to have him in the family. Those first few months were a struggle, but eventually he really felt more secure, although he didn't get over it entirely. When Buster was older, he developed a little nagging cough. It turned out to be lung cancer. He passed away fifteen years ago today.

I know your post is part vent. It always needs to be understood by every family that no matter who offers to help with the pet, or no matter who ostensibly owns the pet, the pet is Mama's. Even when my children were old enough to have fish or hamsters or parakeets of their own, it was Mama who supervised, who made sure the kids had done what they needed to do, to made the run to the vet's office (yes, there are vets for hamsters), and paid for those visits, too. It may not be what you bargained for, but there it is. It's okay to feel sorry for being put in this position, but don't allow any pity parties to go longer than five minutes.

Imagine this family member not as a dog but as a child who has come to you from a totally different environment. For all her life she has been treated with indifference, at best. (You know this.) She would like to be your best friend but, because of her fears, in a sense she doesn't speak your language. She doesn't know what to do. She's hoping you're her friend enough to help her. Or imagine her as old Great-aunt Millie, age 72, who has to move in with you because she has nowhere else to go. She's not cantankerous, but she's ill and depressed, and you're the only one she can count on. Will there be a light at the end of the tunnel? Yes, if you go to the end of the tunnel. Will there be a reward for you in this? I think so.

Talk to your vet. Pick his or her brains. Ask for an alternative to doggy day care (or a better doggy day care). Meanwhile, since you and the dog are a pair, talk to her, just as if you were talking to a friend. Sit down next to her and pet her for two whole minutes at a time (two minutes is a long time). Take her for short walks - just down the street and back. Do things that will get her more comfortable with you and perhaps a little more secure. When your children are at home (I don't know how old they are), enlist them to be care-givers for a few minutes at a time. Put washable blankets on the floors in all the rooms, so that the dog always has her own place wherever you are. You are right about not leaving an animal in a hot car; can you make arrangements with a dog-loving neighbor? Again, talk to your vet and see what options there are.

My eyes well up with tears to think that your family has adopted a senior citizen dog that nobody else has cared about! The adjustment that you're making now is different from the way you'd have to adjust if you'd adopted an eight-week-old puppy, but not really any harder. I think you can meet the challenge.

Your dog has emotional problems so I honestly don't know if it can get better, but you can try to get him trained. I would find a really good and knowledgeable trainer and go for it. Ask the trainer and vet about (I know this sounds crazy, but...) getting another dog. Maybe this pup would not feel alone if another dog were in the house.

I would like to give you permission to take back your life though. Do not feel like you have to take the dog everywhere. You are enabling the dog! The dog will have to learn to feel safe in her own home, or suffer a bit. This time of year leave her outside to save yourself the messes. Lock her with a gate in the laundry room. Do what you have to in order to get your life back. Let go of that guilt.

Has no one told you that you can eventually train her out of this besides using meds? The meds are a good option but they may not fix things even if given enough time.
Our EM(english mastiff) we got when she was 8 weeks old. She was a great puppy but got use to me being a SAHM. I was rarely gone more than an hour or two. Well we found that when I was gone more than a couple of hours she would get depressed and sit in my usual spot on the couch and whine. Even if others were in the house. But once we found out I worked with her to get her over that and to assure her I would return. What I would do was step outside the door and as I was doing so I would reassure her that I would be back. I would wait a set time and then come back in the house and praise her for waiting for me. The time outside would get longer and longer with those in the house telling me if she would start whining or not. After a couple of days of this her issues was fixed.
Then we got our Great Dane(who is deaf). We were told he was crate trained and that he didn't have issues being alone in his crate. HOLY HELL was that a LIE. It took me THREE months to crate train and get him over most of his separation anxiety. For him I had to sleep on the couch beside his crate with as much of my body touching the crate that was comfortable for me. Not an easy task and not one my husband liked either. But each week I was able to sleep with a little less touching his crate. By the end of the three months I was sleeping on the far side of the couch. During this time I was also working on his separation anxiety. With the same method of me leaving the room or house for a few minutes at a time. Since he attached to me the most I had to do most the work to resolve his issue. It took longer to help him due to him being deaf but eventually it worked. He knows I will return when I'm done doing what I need to do. We also do leave the tv on for him...yes he is deaf but he does watch tv. He even has his favorite shows and commericals that stop him dead in his tracks when he sees they are on.
You can also train her that a crate can be a good and safe thing instead of what she was use to.
I strongly urge you to seek out a dog trainer and see if they will help you with the separation anxiety. Petsmart and Petco both offer dog training. Also you can do a search online to find local dog trainers.
I will say the thing that drives me crazy with our dane is since he is deaf he has not volume control....he barks and it is FULL volume each and every time no matter what. And if you have ever heard a dane bark full volume well you would know it can be extremely loud. lol

We have a puppy mill rescue Pug. Oh good heavens above. She's a terrific dog and we wouldn't trade her for one second but... The rescue group lied to us about her age among other things. They said she was five; she was actually at least 10. Our vet explained his reasoning on his age estimate and also said many, many rescue groups are bad about fibbing regarding a dog's age. He said they get stuck with older dogs (5 years+) so they often shave off a few years to keep the dogs moving. I understand their point of view but it was frustrating. We explicitly didn't want a dog that old since we had just put down two dogs in two years. I wasn't ready to bury a third. We told the rescue group no puppies and no oldsters. We wanted several good years. Obviously there are no guarantees but I felt like our candor was not matched. Looking back we would have taken her anyway but that's not the point.
The rescue group also said she was very healthy considering she was a puppy mill breeder. Well, I suppose that's true but not really. She's blind in one eye, half blind in the other (untreated dry eye in both cases) and partially deaf (debris build up in the ears and age). We were used to both deafness and blindness but if we weren't, it would have been more challenging. Also we didn't want a blind dog and said as much. One of the two dogs we put down was blind. It was tough with him and we wanted a break from the challenges.
Our Pug suffers from anxiety but not separation anxiety fortunately. It took her months to get used to my husband. The first year he couldn’t even raise his voice near her or even directed at someone else. She’d freak out, hunker down and pee/poo on the floor. My husband spent tons of time with her so they have adjusted to each other. She adores him now but he still watches how loud he gets around her. He watches football well out of her earshot for instance. Also she licked incessantly and it has taken us nearly three years to break that habit. She has a funky body odor and very bad breath from years of neglect and poor diet. The licking was a major issue since it caused her to smell so much worse. Not to mention listening to that sound 24/7. I thought my husband was going to need to be carted to the booby hatch at one point.
I have other stories but you have done a good thing. You seem committed to keeping her so just stay positive. Vent as needed but remind yourself she is a pretty good dog all things considered. She doesn't have major aggression issues and she's bonded to your family. Both major hurdles with a puppy mill dog. Each dog has its quirk and with a puppy mill rescue you roll the die and hope for the best. Keep up with the medications and working with your vet. You’d be surprised what time and love can do for a rescue dog. Ours has blossomed into the biggest doll baby and a much loved part of our family. Just the other night my husband woke me up because he panicking over the thought the Pug was dying. He insisted I go check on her since she was breathing funny. I went over there and explained to him she’s just snoring. She’s a Pug. They sound funny especially when they sleep. It’s interesting how attached you get without even realizing it. She is enormously attached to all of us and I think that has made the trials worth it. She has finally gotten the chance to be happy, to be loved and to love in return and to be a spoiled, content dog. Well done for all of us I say. Good luck with your dog.

This might be a really bad suggestion but, have you ever thought about adopting another dog to keep her company? It sounds like maybe since she went from a puppy mill to a foster home (where there are typically quite a few pets) she was used to always having someone there with her (even if that someone had 4 legs and fur). :) We rescued a Saint Bernard from a home that had about 6 other dogs. We already had a Saint at home at the time. The one we rescued has never been alone. If we have to take the other one somewhere and she is home alone she freaks out. She paces the floor and cries. Just a thought. Good luck and God Bless you for being such a good doggy mommy. :)

I don't have any answers, I just want to say that I really respect you and your decision to keep your senior dog! You're a really good person and you should be applauded for that :)

I am going to second the suggestion that you look into working with a behavior specialist in addition to giving the medication a little bit longer. It is true that some of these meds take up to 3 or 4 weeks to really start working, and she also needs to be "retrained" to learn new behaviors and new coping strategies so that being left alone does not cause her to fall to pieces, and eventually she may not need the medication either. Your regular vet could probably refer you to or recommend a behaviorist in your area - not just a dog trainer, but a veterinarian who is board-certified as a specialist in behavior medicine.

Good luck to you, and hang in there - it's probably more work than you were expecting but with some extra help, she should get better and will end up being a wonderful dog!

Two words: Cesar Milan

I know it may sound cliche but his methods work off TV as well as on his show. His comment "Dogs live in the now" is aimed at trying to get US to stop putting human emotions on our dogs.

Don't get me wrong, I love animals, I have a black lab, a boxer, 2 kitties, and 2 hamsters, so we're a house of animal lovers. And the dogs are inside/outside, when they're inside, they have blankets in different areas of the house they know they're supposed to lay on unless I give them the OK to follow me around the house, which we both enjoy. I've even left them in the house by accident (I usually put them outside if we're not home) while running errands with my daughter and when we got home, they were on their blanket.
But I know the difference between how my daughter and I react to life and how the dogs react to life, and I don't try to place human emotions on my animals. We only confuse them when we do that.

Milan has a website and books available, he's helped LOTS of different "problem" dogs, ones who were slated for euthanization, he's given them a second chance at life. I love his outlook "There are no BAD dogs, just some that need a little more guidance than others"

it is highly likely that your dog didn't "come with" anxiety - they're blank slates just like kids. Your dog needs patient and consistent training.

Although crate training seems like a horrible and inhumane thing to do it will help your dog learn the routine. We debated forever with our dogs and after 4ish months of crate training we've never had an accident.

Your dog can also benefit from some practice to see that you leaving isn't a big deal. find time when you can leave for a short period, go outside (don't make a big deal about it), walk to the end of the block, come back and go inside. when you come back don't make a big deal, greet your dog, but not if she's overly excited. you don't want to reinforce the "I thought you'd never come back" feeling. just say "look, I'm back and all is well." wait a while and do it again. each time you're gone for a little longer and it is NEVER a big deal when you return. your dog will learn that you're coming back and it's not to worry while you're gone. But if you greet the dog like you've missed them so much they'll think "see, all of my worry was right, they didn't think they'd come back either."

There is a fabulous book by the Monks of New Skete called The Art of Raising a Puppy. it's worth every penny. They also have How to Be Your Dog's best friend.

We got our dog at 4 1/2 months old and he had panic when we left him and he bent a crate and got the pan out under it and 'walked' all over the room hitting a wall and knocking paint off. He then bent a larger crate later when he was bigger and it's not good for his teeth. He got out the crate door with half of it locked still and he's big. He could unlock it so I had to get pad locks for the crate. Now he's a bit older, still hates me to leave but I put the pad locks on, turn the TV on and go. He is much calmer now, will never like being left, but it is so much better. If he had been using the house as a bathroom that would be a whole different story for me. It sounds like a lot of work and maybe there is a family/person out there who would have time to deal with your dog better than you want to. I know you CAN but you don't want to and maybe someone home more and without kids would enjoy being with the dog more. I would try to find someone to take her. I need to add that my dog is perfect and so smart otherwise. He's family and knows everything I say to him so this is his one issue.

We also rescued our dog when she was 3. She was so well behaved and just took right to my kids at the center. We brought her home and she didn't bark for days, did have some accidents for a couple weeks, but that didn't last too long. She started to warm up to us and also started barking a TON!!! She still does this, 2 years later, but we try to work with her on it. :) Another problem we found is she has issues with boys (around age 8-12). My boy is little, so she was fine with him. But anytime someone would come over that she was uncomfortable with she would bark at them and snip at them and really scare the poor boys. Luckily she had never bit anyone, so we just kept working with her. But honestly I don't think any of that worked, but I do think she just needed to get comfortable with our family and know that she is now safe and well taken care of. After 6 months to a year she forgot about that old life and now is happy here with us and fine around others. So I would say give it time and I bet in a few months or so it will get better. Way to go on rescuing a dog, you definitely a great owner! I would think that you could also leave her in the kennel for a little bit, I know our dog actually chooses her kennel over going outside many times. As long as she is not in it all day everyday. Good luck!

I just quickly scanned the other posts so sorry If I am repeating here...did you try the thundershirt which is for anxiety not just for thunderstorm anxiety. We put it on our dog but for storms..you can get them anywhere now-most pet stores carry them. Also, try a local, healthy pet store-they will have some herbal/natural remedies that are safe for dogs-like the rescue remedy for dogs and others that you can place on tongue to help calm them down. There are definitely alternatives to the meds. Also, play the music cd's for dogs while you are away. Again they may say for thunderstorms...we have a dog with some anxiety but mostly severe with storms so this is what we have tried and it helps..have you also tried the busy chew dogs to keep the pet distracted while you are not home. I agree, another dog may be beneficial. Hard to say since I do not know your dog and since she is old she may not want a companion. We adopted one of our dogs at 8 years old and she came into a home with three others and has done fine, but every dog is different so this may be a good option and it may not-you know your dog. also, as an older dog, it probably does not want a younger dog jumping all over it. If your dogs has had a difficult past, it may take her much longer to feel secure with you, such as trusting that you will not abandon her-you could try leaving for short periods and when you get back give her a treat, then slowly extend the time you are away and reward her when you get back-just a thought. Ours who has anxiety, it took him three months to finally be okay to not be attached to my side and slowly he became more independent.

I agree with the suggestion to check out some of what Cesar Milan has to offer on this subject.

What is your routine when you have to leave home? Are you all sad and apologetic towards the dog? That gets her nerves revved up. You should be stable, calm and matter of fact about what is happening. And, in my opinion and experience with our own dog, you should do what you do when you teach them to potty outside. Use a phrase (as if it were a command) to signal what is going to happen, so she knows what to expect. And then practice it with her!

When we leave to go anywhere that the dog doesn't go, we tell her the same phrase(s) every single time. Just as I am going through the door (or leaving whatever room she is in to go to the door) I tell her: "P__, watch the house. We'll be back." It is short, but calm and matter-of-fact. She knows that when she here's me say those things, that she will be home alone for a period of time, AND that WE WILL COME BACK.
When she was a puppy (under 1 yr old) she would be anxious anytime we left her, and would bark and carry on. Never tore anything up (but she never tore or chewed anything up, she is SUCH a good dog!)... just fretted and stressed and BARKED. And if we had to kennel her when we went out of town, she wouldn't eat for the first 3 days of her stay.

When we started using the same phraseology, and she got a little older (and figured it out?)... she understands what will happen. We leave, she stays, and she waits for us. Normally, she lies in the dining room in front of the big window that look out into the front yard and she watches or naps. And when we come home, she greets us at the door (laundry room door).
AND, we don't go "ga-ga" over her fawning and carrying on over her when we return, either. That just gets her all wound up and is NOT what you want to have happen. It is ALL very calm and "normal" "routine" type atmosphere. I open the door, say "Hey P__" and walk past her into the house. I put down my purse, ask her (in a normal voice) "Were you a good girl while we were gone?" and check her water dish to see if she needs fresh water. Then, when the groceries are brought in (or whatever needs doing to wrap up the "trip") I take her outside to go to the bathroom or play frisbee for a few minutes, and have some attention.

If YOU are stressed upon leaving, your dog will be too. If you expect your dog to freak out or be lonely or ____, they will be stressed. But if you are calm and give her a command so that she knows what is expected, she will do much better. Especially over time.
So practice. Give her the command ("watch the house" or whatever) and then leave. Step away from the door for 30 seconds, then open the door and come back in. Greet her with words, but no touching. Otherwise ignore her and go about your business. Then, a few minutes later, do it again.

After you think she is expecting you to come back through the door, extend the time for a full minute or so. Practice it. Repeat. When she is calm for the minute. Extend the time again. And so on.

Yes, it is going to be time consuming to practice this. But, over time, you might see a major change in your dog's level of anxiety when you leave.

You might also practice this when you leave her in the car. Give her the "command" phrase when you leave the car. I do that. When I take my GSD and leave her in the car for 3 minutes (in the shade, windows down, outside temps below 80), I'll tell her "Watch the car, I'll be back." Very matter-of-fact. She is fine.

Good luck, and hang in there.

It can take 4 to 6 weeks for medications to reach the blood saturation level where they're therapeutic.

I would suggest dog training school which the entire family should take part in. It sounds like your dog needs more than just love and knowing she has a place to live... she needs some concrete stability that you guys can get through a really good dog training program. Just because she's 9 years old doesn't mean she's not trainable, and a good trainer will also teach you to read her body language and give her what she needs. Get a recommendation from your vet.

you can mitigate it, but it won't go away....I have a friend whose dog w/anxiety actually tore apart an airline kennel (and required stitches and dental work afterwards). this same dog then broke through a window and ran around on the roof one day when left at home alone. he's 6 years into it and just spends a lot of money on gifts for family that take her when they're gone and a lot of money on doggie daycare. oh, and a ton on anxiety meds.

there's some good trainers in denver that work with this issue - it may be worth the money. talk to your vet.
you can also try prozac (yes, the same one used for humans). again, talk to your vet.
consistent discipline and obedience is the best you can do for her and things should get better. but she's old; it may not.
we have one that had submissive peeing when we got him. isn't that fun? every time a voice was raised slightly, there was the pee. he got over it after a 18 mos or so, but he was young and it was a long haul to get there.

there's hugging shirts; i don't know what else to call them; that supposedly help. we looked into them for thunderstorm anxiety. our issue was resolved when the dog went deaf.

you might try the kennel again. w/enough consistency, she might understand you're coming back. and most dogs really need that closed in/den like feeling to feel safe.

lots of exercise can help too.

good luck.