Does My Son Need Social Skills Therapy?

My five-year-old preschooler has a classmate, "Tom", who behaves the same way that you describe. Tom has development issues and has been in PT and OT since he was two years old. He can be pretty aggressive and disruptive in school, but he is a good kid, and my son likes him. He has an IEP, so after preschool, he goes to a public school for PT and OT.

I know all Montessori schools are different, but have you ever thought of enrolling your son in a preschool with more structure? My daughter briefly attended a Montessori school, and she felt like she was drowning there all day. The kids weren't encouraged to socialize or foster friendships, and the lack of roleplaying toys (like dress-up clothes, play kitchens, or stuffed animals) made it hard for my daughter to find ways to interact with the other kids. I felt like some of the children with behavior problems were allowed to get away with their bad behavior, because it just wasn't addressed. As soon as I moved my daughter to a more traditional preschool, she blossomed and bloomed. Apparently, she thrives in more structured environments.

Before you look into play skills or social skills therapy for your son, ask the staff at his school how they can help. If they don't seem to be interested in working with you to correct his behavior, you might want to shop around for another preschool. You want to send your son to a school that can be more proactive about handling kids with sensory and social issues. Good luck!

I have been working w/ parents for years. I would suggest seeing a neuropsychologist that works with children. You are your child's advocate.

Keep vision therapy in mind down the road. I am not talking about sight. That is different.

OT with a therapist that has the extra training in sensory is crucial. The book, "The Out of Sync child" will be one of the best resources to understand the concerns u have mentioned.

Intervention will help so much. I have been down this rd w/ 1 of mine.

Address this early. I, myself, did outside testing w / my child . You can ask for testing and see if your town will do this. Be your child's advocate.

Through what agency are your son's current services being provided? I don't know how it is in New York. Where we lived when my son was that age, children under three were assessed and received services through the regional center. After three years of age, EI is provided through the school district.

I would absolutely look into a social skills therapy group if you can find it. Speech therapy may be helpful in this regard. A lot of small group therapy is often provided under the auspices of speech therapy. My sense is that OT should also be able to provide more guidance for some of these issues, especially the sensory seeking ones.

At home, I think you can role play acceptable ways for him to interact with people. Wave instead of hug. Use words instead of hands to show friendliness. Maintain a personal bubble, and respect other people's bubbles. Role play appropriate responses to other people's reactions. If someone pulls away, that means stop. If someone says "stop," that means stop. If someone cries, that means stop. A lot of EI therapists are fans of social stories, which you may also find helpful.

BTW, I remember your response to a recent post of mine regarding a child with similar issues at my son's school. I felt such empathy reading your comment because you are clearly a parent who is aware and concerned about your child's behavior. (This is not the case with the other child I mentioned.) You are doing a good job, addressing your child's possible issues early and vigilantly. It will make a world of difference.

Good luck, mama.

I have a hard time figuring out social skills in a 2 yr old.
Most kids I have known are not social at all with other kids till they are 3 1/2 to almost 4 years old.
Toddlers fight and grab with each other a lot.
Our son was totally glued to my lap till he was about 3 1/2 and after that he was a lot more outgoing.
At 2 he was my snuggle bunny.
If your child wants to hug and snuggle and have a lot of contact with you then let him.
I wouldn't let him do that with non family/strangers/other kids.

Talk to the school district. Early intervention should have the means to address this and it's free.

He's old enough to do some evaluations. They will likely say he's got something. His behaviors are not what other kids his age are doing. BUT that's not bad, it could be something that he can be worked with and brought out of.

I suggest you find a children's hospital in your area that has an evaluation center for kids. They'll do a good eval hopefully. The more information you can get the better resources you'll have to fall back on.

If it's not "this" and it is "that" then all the stuff that everyone has been doing for "this" can be stopped and therapy's that work on "that" can be started.

I would discuss it with the therapists. It may be that if he has sensory issues, he is highly "sensory seeking" in the physical contact department. You might need to just really stay on top of him for now and intervene the minute he starts to get a little too "pushy."