Does This Make Me a Bad Mother LOL? Teenagers and First Jobs...

My first job was straightening shoes at Kmart for 2.20/hr. They put the shoes out by style, not size so people tore up the place looking for a size. I got to do blue lite specials. I enjoyed meeting other workers there and friends would come in to harass me.

My worst job was a microfilmer for Roundys foods. Time dragged and it was super boring. One of my fav jobs was selling magazines over the phone. I was pretty good at it and was offered my own franchise. But I was in college to become a social worker, to forever be underpaid.

My dad instilled a good work ethic in me. Get a part time job in summers of high school and full time job in summers of college.

I got my first job at 19 at a fish and chips place. I didn't care of being embarrassed. It was a job and I was making money. We had to wear normal clothes, apron an a little sailors like hat. The hat was the only embarrassing part of the job. But like I said I was making money so I didn't really care at all.

Do any of her friends work? Openings there? My first job was working with special needs kids in a group home. I loved it, plus three of my friends worked there as well. We didn't work side by side, however, we had some same shifts. My son's first job was working at McDonalds. He hated it, but stuck it out for a year. He made enough money to buy his first car, a complete junker, but it got him around. Once again, a couple of his friends worked there and it helped. Money is a good motivator. Maybe she needs to start paying for something-partial phone bill, gas money. Good luck!

Honestly I don't want my 15 year old to have an outside job right now. She works cleaning in our vacation rental business a few times per month and that's just fine with me. When school starts she just doesn't have time for a regular job. Between school and activities she barely has time to hang out with friends.

The last thing I want my kids doing is working in local restaurants when they are young. I waited tables through my teen years and college and actually enjoyed the freedom. When I was 16-17 I was making way too much money for a kid that has no real expenses. My parents had no idea I was pulling in a few grand per month and I did not manage it well. Cash at the end of a shift is a recipe for disaster for a teen. Clothes, food, concerts and fun ate a lot of it up. I did finally get smart, start saving and helped to pay my way through college but I do know people who just got stuck in the restaurant business here.

I had no where near the school and extra curricular pressures of kids today. I guess I just want my girls to grow up a little more slowly in that way. You'd be surprised at what it's like behind the scenes of a really nice dinner place. Drugs, alcohol, creepy older men. I had grown ups hitting on me regularly. I'm not saying that there aren't positive work environments out there for teens but from my experience I want my girls to wait a bit before taking that step.

My mother literally dropped me off at the mall and said, "here are some applications to stores that are hiring. Call me when you get a job". "You have enough money for lunch? " I was like, Huh?

I took the applications into the mall, filled them out and put them in order of the stores I liked the best. Interviewed at the first store. Was offered the job. I was told to show up for training in a few days. Called a friend to pick me up. Called my moms secretary and told her to tell my mom I had a job and I would speak with her later, I was going to help with my volunteering I had already volunteered for that day!

FYI, My mom had not even made it back to her office yet.

My mom made a deal with me. All of the money I made and saved, she would match it so I could purchase a car! She kept that promise and my Junior year I went to school with an awesome car!

Our daughter did not have a steady job in High School, but she did tutor, babysat, did work for me in my company.. She also saved most of that money. She did a tremendous amount of Volunteering every year from 4th - 12th grade. So we felt like as long as she was not just flopped out all of the time, that was fine.

i worked at rustler steak house for $2 an hour (which i found thrilling) but the work sucked rocks.
but i'm awfully grateful to my little mumsie (known at that time of my life as my Evil Stepmother) for never LOL-ing at me or thinking my adjustment to the working world was cause for mirth.
both of my boys were working from a pretty young age- my older son had a landscaping 'business' with a friend who was old enough to drive. they not only mowed lawns and pulled weeds, but did a lot of work for local farmers baling and stacking hay. my younger had a job at 14 doing some sort of computer mailing list collating thing for a company that put together exchange students with families. they're both good employees from then til now.
i feel sorry for this girl, who clearly is being held up against your son and found constantly wanting.
khairete
S.

Gee....I am wondering if we have the same kid! Hahaha! My youngest daughter has done the exact same things. No kidding. Your whole story is exactly like my own. This summer, I put the crack-down on her and told her if she doesn't find a job on her own, she will work in her Dad's Engineering department as a paid intern and she is not getting an opinion about it! My daughter is currently the Salutatorian of her class and will graduate high school in 2015. What the heck? How can you be sooooo smart and yet soooo utterly inept at finding a teenage job for the summer? Also, how can you expect to be in some posh and high paid environment just because that's what you feel you should get? It's insane! She doesn't get this baloney from me or her dad. We work our tails off. Her older sister is a complete mule with working and has had a job since age 16! She was a hostess at a popular sports grill in our town for two years. Now she is a Vet Med student and she literally walked into a vets office where we live and told them she would sweep floors, clean toilets, walk dogs, feed cats....whatever it took to get a job at the vet hospital! She is now 20 and a Veterinary Nurse and also still in college to get her DVM! These kids could not be more different! Needless to say, I have heard my younger daughter complain and moan about how working in the Engineering Lab as a paid intern is so boring and mundane. I think it's hilarious! Personally, I think she should be thankful to be working in a scholarly, advanced technology, and corporate environment. My first job was a counter person at Dairy Queen....and I loved every minute of it! I think these kids today have major delusions of grandeur. They want it all but don't want to work for any of it. It's all about what they can get for the least amount of effort. I'm aggravated by my daughters attitude and her failed attempts with trying to get a job. I am praying that this changes quickly. For now, I am totally enjoying sticking it to her six ways from Sunday so she can grow up and start doing for herself! Bad Mom's Club....sign me up!

First job? McDonald's.
2nd job? Retail stocking--not a cashier.

Does my son have a job? (He just turned 16) No. He has talked about getting one... but we don't really want him to have one right now. He plays a sport that has after school practice every day (including Fridays) and the matches take almost all day on Saturdays during the season (I'm talking 7:00 a.m. going to the gym/school and not being finished until 3:00 pm or sometimes as late as 7:30 pm). And he is not a straight A student, and HAS to study to do ok.
Last year, they did not even dismiss from the school day until 3:45 pm. and by the time wrestling practice was over, it was 7:30 pm before he even got home from school some nights. Most of the time it was around 6:30.
When would he work?? During the summer ... well, they go back next Tuesday. Summers aren't that long and between the camp we send the kids to every year, our family vacation, and wrestling camps and practices... He also was going to driving classes --in person, not online-- and taking behind the wheel driving lessons. And orthodontist appointments. And shot appointments for his allergies. I honestly feel like he hasn't had that much of a break.

The soonest he could reasonably be able to work any sort of "schedule" (more than 1 shift per week, and really--who's going to hire a teen for only 1 shift a week, even 2 only might be a stretch--it was when I was a teen) won't be until after wrestling season next spring... March. When it'll be spring break. By then, he'll be scheduling and doing practices and studying for the SAT etc.

If he were to try to squeeze a job in, I have no doubt whatsoever that he grades would tumble. And his dad and I are also aware of and concerned about the money effect. You know... chasing the dime. Get used to some cash flow, and THAT becomes the focus---not school.
For now, school IS his job. That and chores around the house.

Food service is an excellent first job! I started at McDonalds when I was 14 and worked full time until I left at 21. Those are actually some of my favorite memories, I made friends I still have today. We need to stop raising our kids to think that making their own way in this world is beneath them, good for you for pushing her.

My first job was Applications Engineer after I graduated from college with a physics degree, 1100 miles from home. My parents felt that doing well in school was my job. Food, clothing and transportation was paid for (I lived at home and they bought me a used car to get to school). I did work one summer as receptionist for my father's company while she was out on maternity leave but I did not get paid.
I think it makes sense to guide your kids to jobs that suit their interests. I do not EVER want to have any job related to food since I am super sensitive to smells and would be nauseous all day. If she likes sewing or gaming, a fabric store or Gamestop might make more sense than fast food jobs. If she can drive, part time agencies are ALWAYS looking for receptionists which can also be boring but it is a stepping stone into many companies.
Instead of laughing at her, I would offer her guidance in discussing the pros and cons of various jobs, and defining her interests and dislikes. Dictatorial ways never worked with mine after they were out of diapers, but showing them reasons why always did.

Why do you want to laugh at her misery?
That's kind of mean.
Not everybody is cut out for a food service job.
Commiserate with her a bit instead of wanting to rub her face in it.
Maybe she'd prefer working at a daycare center, or be a sales clerk or even work for a cleaning service, or a green house/nursery, etc.

I babysat a lot once I turned 14.
My first real paycheck type job was clean up crew at an 80,000 seat stadium (it was Rich stadium - they've re-named it now).
I tell you it DOES something for your outlook in life when you are hip deep in garbage!
ANYTHING I did after that was certainly a step up in the world!
But I have to say that running up and down all those stair with 3 or more heavy trash bags carried over my shoulder was great exercise.
My legs never looked so good as when I had that job!
We got to see the games for free.
I was present when the Bills broke a losing streak to the Miami Dolphins.
The police on horses escorted the players off the field when the game finished and then they let the fans tear the place to pieces.
I saw a guy run to the middle of the field, whip out a knife and cut himself a piece of AstroTurf as a souvenir (they tore up more than half of the field).
Other fans climbed the goal posts, unscrewed them from the ground, pass them, hand over hand up and over the stadium walls and then dance with the pieces in the parking lot till the wee hours of the morning.
Fans actually tore out several rows of aluminum seating right out of the concrete.
Our supervisor was afraid the drunks would break into our broom room and start beating each other with the brooms.

My favorite work study job in college was file clerk in the financial aid office.
The most disgusting job was petri dish/beaker washer in a biology department.

Tell your SD that as you gain experience - even if it's horrible experience - if nothing else (besides a little cash) she might have the makings of some pretty good stories (and/or horror stories!) to tell once she gets older.
THIS is the stuff that makes for a colorful eventful life!

I've worked from my junior year of HS, through all 4 years of college, until...NOW!
I've had good and bad jobs, good and bad pay. Food service, retail, business to business, manufacturing, professional...you name it.
The important thing is that WORK is good for the mind, body & soul.
And everyone's gotta start somewhere.

Lifeguard, baby! Woohoo! Best job ever.

To be honest, she sounds a bit spoiled. And this generation of youngsters are just not into working or being an adult. They lack self-discipline as they chug back red bulls and frappes, trying to be misunderstood and way cooler than you could ever be. I thought the emo kids were bad- these hipsters are killing it.

My advice, keep laughing silently to yourself. She'll grow up or be miserable all her life. But it's her choice, not yours.

thank you for posting this! i thought my daughter was the only kid acting that way. unfortunately she never found a job. finally got a call for an interview (because of dad's intervention since she wouldn't do proper follow-ups) but she's starting college in 3 weeks so now it's too late. anyway, i'm hoping time at college with little money will make that job she refused to apply for at mcdonald's a little more attractive next summer!

My SS dragged til he was 17 and then wailed "you're ruining my childhood" - to which his father said, "You're 17, your childhood is over." I worked in a deli at a convenience store. I came home smelling like onions. The dog loved me. My sister worked at Wendy's. My SD works in a cafe in a bookstore (right up her alley, unless they make her take the floor and be a cashier) and my SS stocked and worked the register at CVS for a while.

One thing that kept the sks working, I think, was that we stopped giving them money. They made way more than their allowance at the job, even if it was very PT. That's how we got SS to learn to drive, too. We made him wait for us to get around to getting him places and handed him a bus map.

One response would be to tell her to remember how much she doesn't like the "mindless, boring, and stupid" work that comes with little education and no experience when school (or in the future, college) seems difficult and drawn out.

My very first job only lasted a couple of months. I worked at a tuxedo rental place in the back checking in and out the suits. It was so boring and disgusting! Some of those suits came back in such gross condition!! My next job was hostessing and then waiting tables at a very popular Mexican restaurant. It was a blast! I had so much fun and made great friends. Mind you, I started when I was 16 and stayed there til I was 21.

My 16 year old daughter has worked the last couple of summers as a paid intern at the winery I work at. It has been the most awesome opportunity for her! She worked in just about all of the departments doing everything from landscaping to prepping barrels for wine. I don't think she realizes what a wonderful opportunity this has been for her. Occasionally she would whine about the boring tasks but it sure as sh*t beats working at a fast food restaurant!

I think that's just how they are at 16. Full of attitude and ungrateful. Part of me can't wait until she gets a "real" job that totally sucks and she works with a bunch of slugs. Then maybe she will have a little appreciation for her internship. Gotta pay your dues, kiddo... we've all been there!

I have a strong opinion that kids already have a full time job and it's called school. If they want to work and their grades are not hurt by them working then I guess it would be okay, but the main thing they have to do in their life is go to school and focus on school completely. If they want to continue their sports or activities that is fine with us. There are scholarships offered in a lot of different areas both academic and sports.

If a kids wants to work on the weekends or one or two evenings per week but be home by 9 then I guess they could work then too.

When I was in the YW's leadership in our area we had workshops/meetings with all the YW leaders one per month. One of the main things they said they had, almost universally was that the youth couldn't even come to church on Wednesday or even the big activities on weekends.

The leaders all said that the kids had so much homework in high school they couldn't leave the house or they'd not get it done. SO they gave up church except on Sunday morning. They didn't have time for working either. They did get jobs during the summer and they saved a bunch of it to put into their mission fund. They didn't apply that money to college or a vehicle or anything resembling a bill.

I wasn't college material until I was older, non traditional student, so I worked my first job while in high school at Braums. I cut a banana open to make a banana split and it had a bubble on it. When I cut it a thousand baby spiders swarmed everything. I was screaming and didn't go back to work there again.

I went to Del Rancho on SW 59th and Agnew after that and waitressed. I played softball and that was more important that work so when there was a conflict and my boss told me to choose work or playing a game I chose the game. It paid off because I eventually played softball in college. Not in any wonderful kind of way but it was more for my own fun.

Stop paying for her "things" and start "charging" her for "extra services". Phone, car insurance, payments and gas, specialty foods, specialty laundry.

As for the "specialty" things, I know in my house I plan a weekly menu. I buy what I need for the meals a week at a time. You can try this, buy your weekly groceries only and anything "extra" she requests or adds, she pays for. Same goes for laundry, I do it all on one day, once a week. If she needs something washed on another day she pays.

Once her lovely money starts going "out" she may be more inclined to work to get it back "in".

I started "working" at 11, babysitting, special childcare for church events, home daycares, nanny jobs. After high school I was able to save, but I got a kind and honest taste of "adult" life because I lived at home. However, I paid for gas, laundry done on non-laundry day, special foods, a share of the internet bill and phone bills.

My first job was at a theater painting scenery and working as a carpenter. Well I painted and taught the guys how to paint and they taught me how to build.

I LOVED it. I ended up majoring in scenic design so I could do it for the rest of my life.

But I knew how to paint and faux finish. I also knew how to sew, so sometimes I was drafted to do that too.

I was only paid for four hours, but some days stayed and worked eight to ten.

Now when I started they weren't sure of my abilities, so I did a lot of cleaning up and scrubbing paint cans, sorting hardware and grunt work. But the more I showed them I could do the more "good" jobs I got.

Now I am all nostalgic I loved that job!!

My daughter has been a nanny this summer and it was not a fun experience for her. The child is 5 and has absolutely NO imagination. Daughter said all she wants to do is to be on the IPad and when she suggested dress up and pretend, she had no idea what to do.

This is not my daughter's first go around with babysitting. She is a regular for 3 families in my neighborhood and loves the families. She babysits one night a weekend and brings in $100. This family she sat for over the summer consistently cancelled or changed plans and did not have her for the set amount of hours and pay she was told. Good lesson.

During the school year, she babysits for her regulars but her courses are more important and we never had her take a job during school. She was too involved with AP, cheer and other extra school activities. Her grades were her job and she did great in high school and she made the Dean's list her first year of college. She starts her Sophomore year later this month. She is on my payroll for our company and gets a small check monthly.

As for me, my first job was assisting the school secretary at my high school during the summer. I loved that job and the inside info. Of course it was vital to keep my mouth shut and prove that I was trustworthy and I did. I went on to work at least 2 jobs during my first 4 years of college, one was in the financial aid office and I was a manager at a 7-11 type store in my small town.

Attitude has a lot to do with it. There will always be a job that you hate along the way, you have to learn to deal with it, mature and grow. It is a part of life and your SD needs to step up to the plate. If she want to move up the ladder or into a better position somewhere else, she has to start getting experience, even if she hates it right now.

I worked at Burger King all through high school and college. It was hard work, but I made friends, learned skills and made money. Before that I did odd jobs such as babysitting and special events parking attendant. Anyway, I was responsible for my own spending money and had to pay for my own car, clothes and toiletries. I still managed to pay my way through college and was able to invest the money my parents had in my college fund.

Does your daughter have a car or a phone? If she does make her pay for them herself. Give her a reason to work!

My SD was a lot like that too, a lazy entitled type. She only worked because I drug her around to apply, she would have rather stayed in her room till age 40 with books and cats. She fell in love and rushed into marriage and rushed into having a baby too, now doesn't work, makes her hubby change the diapers, cook the dinner and claims she is tired from being with the baby all day. I don't think you're a bad mother, I think some adult children are just in for a rude awakening, life will hit them like a brick wall. My sons are hardworking too, in the military, and have the work ethic for sure. I wish I had been a SM to my SK's sooner, the lack of a mothers strong hand is sad, they are so lazy.

I worked at a fabric store as a teen...

I LOVED it! I got discounts on the fabric...I got discontinued patterns (only the envelopes had to be sent back to the company).

My kids have done more 'non traditional' jobs like house sitting, mowing, pet walking, babysitting.

**by 'non' traditional of course, I mean not at a business**

I was lucky as my friend got me her job at a law firm. Copying, filing, running to the post office and eventually answering the phone sometimes. I had to dress fairly nicely and it was downtown so it made me feel grown up. I did babysit before that job which I started at 16. But after the law job which was fine, I was a busgirl at a busy restaurant and then waitress there. I loved it. Always busy. Good money. A fun atmosphere. I think some people like food service and I guess others don't. So maybe your SD is being lazy but this also doesn't suit her. I'm not in the camp that all kids have to work a lot though. School demands now are crazy so that'll be my kids first priority. But my friends and I were all dying to get our first jobs. Wonder why. My parents even discouraged me from starting kind of young. Maybe changing times. I wouldn't buy her anything but necessities I guess.

My first job was at 15 when a friend of my parents from church who managed the Ramada Inn wanted to pump up restaurant sales, so I became the "juice girl". I had to show up around 4:30am to set up the juice bar and them approach tables before the waitress to try to up sell the various juices. I don't remember much about what I thought at the time, but looking back I can see it really sucked - I would get propositioned by disgusting middle-aged business men at breakfast!

Soon after I got a job at Six Flags and worked during the season for the next couple summers. Now that was a GREAT job to have as a teen.

So you think it's funny because you suggested all these other places and then she chose this one and hates it? I can understand that.

My response to her is annoyance, however. 'Oh, well, too bad, welcome to life' is kind of how I feel about it. She needs to start somewhere, and like you said, that's the kind of job teenagers usually start at.

My daughter's first job was at a pizza parlor, however she liked it and didn't complain about it. After a couple of years it got old, but it was a stepping stone to her next job at Starbucks. She's had other jobs by now, and has a great resume for someone her age.

If your daughter has no other income, like no allowance, and she quits this job, then I guess she just suffers the consequences, like she has no money. Some kids really are not motivated by money, and as long as you don't make it easy for them by giving them money, I guess ultimately it's their choice to be broke. But I think she needs to hang in there.

Good luck.

My first job was at Wendy's... It wasn't ideal, but I am good about making the best of any situation and quite enjoyed myself.

I DID keep my eyes open for a better opportunity, and got a job working at a kennel in the Doggy Day Care. DREAM high-school job! It had it's down sides... Like the time the Great Dane/Bull Mastiff mix breed came in with raging diarrhea... Guess whose job it was to clean THAT up? Lol. But it was great being surrounded by so many lovable dogs every day. My job was to sanitize the kennels as each dog left, sanitize the individual outdoor runs after they were used, poop detail in the big group yards, keep water in all dishes, etc. Grunt work, but it was fun. :)

I started at a bank job while I was in high school. It was weekends only on the operations side of things. It was part of my schooling--you had a job for senior year. Before and during that, I had my own babysitting business with multiple families.
I do not plan to make my kids work but they better not sit around the house all summer. They will be old enough to work next year.

First job... throughout high school, I worked in the kitchen of a nursing home. It wasn't too high pressure and though I'm sure I wasn't paid more than minimum wage, that money was plenty for me. While scooping pudding wasn't all that enjoyable, I did meet some different people and had some fun joking around. I did definitely benefit from interacting with a group other than my AP-honors friends and teachers.

I do think your SD is going to learn some really important things from doing this job (or doing whatever she needs to do to get out of it). Dana T has some good ideas for helping her to realize why she might want to keep working even at a job which isn't great. Good luck with helping guide her through this next step towards adulthood...

My first job was at Thom McAn's shoe store. I worked there until I left for college. It was an okay job. Not as many stinky feet as you would think and I got a discount off shoes. Maybe this is why I have a shoe fedish!

My daughter's first job was working at the rollerskating rink. She did that until she left for college. She then got a job in the deli department at Krogers. She worked that job for 3 years. She hated it but it helped pay her sorority dues.

Son's first job was mowing lawns. He stated that when he was 10/ He made a lot of money!! When he was in High School, he was a ref at a paint ball field. His dream job!!! =) He just completed his internship for the summer and will be going back to work at Discount Tire Store.

Our kids were required to do some type of work. Both are not afraid to get their hands dirty and appreciate the things we do for them. They understand the cost of items!

I was a "fry girl" at McDonalds for $4.25 an hour at 13 years old, it sucked but I learned that I needed to find something I liked. The people were clean cut and no drugs but that was a long time ago. I made telemarketing calls with tons of people from my class in high school and loved it. I worked in the mall which was also fun. My favorite was working at Kinderare. Don't take things away, don't force her to stay. You're only teaching her that in life if you are unhappy that rather than make your situation better you should stay and be miserable...not a very good lesson and for what, a few bucks? Tell her that you don't like seeing her unhappy and tell her to quit,she will love you for being in her corner, you have no idea how this will bond you. Tell her though that she either has to get all A's and do serious chores around the house or shell have to get a different job. If its a different job then help her figure it out- camp counselor, day care, sales, big box store? Whats she into? Makeup- try Sephora, electronics- Apple. She shouldn't be iserable at 16, she's got her whole life for that. Your son gets up early and works hard because he finds the work rewarding and enjoyable. She deserves the same.